Doctor's Rampage
Posted: 2002-08-13 05:21pm
Note: This is my first real attempt at a fanfic. It it totally non-serious, and don't expect anything good.
The USS Voyager is crusing in space. And it rams into a planet.
"Jee wiz Cap'n Laneway!" Lt. Paris blutters. "These new sensors are so great, I almost actually saw that planet before we crashed!"
"Yes Comrade Paris, these wery good sensors" Lameway responds.
"We get signal!" Tuvok shouts.
"What fuck you sayink?" Lameway asked.
"Main screen turn on." And it did.
"Ogga bogga!" a very ugly alien says. "You hit our planet! We kill you now!"
Lameway thinks for a moment, well appears to think anyways. "Ensign Cannonfodder, beam down give superadvanced tech."
"Aye Aye." He says, the last lines he'll ever speak. He beams down, but thanks to the transporter, in a couple thousand pieces. Strangly the tech is fine.
"Cap'n, you violated the prime directive!" Paris objects.
"Silence! Heil the Fuhrer!"
"But you're a Commie, not a nazi!"
And Captain Lameway pulls out her phaser and quickly kills the poor fool, who dared point out a continuty error.
Suddenly, her comm badge beaps so loudly, Ensign Unlucky collapses in a pool of goo.
"Dr. to bridge! You stole that from my holonovel; killing crewmembers! I demand royalties!" Dr. nameless says.
"Here something else from your progam! Decomplyink you!"
But the Dr. actually has some brains. He quickly slaps on his MOBEL EMMITTER OF JUSTICE and wips out a hidden MP5-K.
He charges down the hull, mowwing down everyone in site.
"Hi Dr." Ensign Nameless says.
"Hi yourself!" the Dr. responds, moments before pumping him full of small supersonic pieces of lead.
Then Tuvok, the magic vulcan fairy comes.
"Move zig!" He orders to ensigns. They charge and fire at the Dr. only to hit each other.
Tuvok takes his big rifle and fires. He blasts a big hole in the ship, and is sucked into space where he explodes.
"Ha!"
The Dr. arrives on the bridge moments later. Chackotay charges at him, but the Dr. rips his rank away, making him a ensign in a red shirt. And as such, the door closes on him and he is split in two.
He turns to Ensign Kim. "Hi 'I'm an ensign for 7 years and am still alive' well not anymore" and Kim got the fade he deserved for a long time.
"And you 7 of 9" the Dr. reloads his gun. "Ms 'I'm only here cause I have large breasts and look sexy in a catsuit" The bullets sliced through her clouths, which crumple to the floor in slow motion, lasting 10 minutes.
"Oh this is insane." And the Dr. finishs her off.
He then fires a few dozen rounds into Neelix, who needs no explination.
"And you, Torres. Torn between two worlds! That's been done way too many times" and she too dies.
"And you, CapZtain Laneway!" The Dr. squeezes the trigger...and the clip falls empty to the floor.
"I stole from your novel I have gun" She takes aim, fires. The Dr. falls to the floor.
"MUHAHAHAHA!! I AM THE RULER OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!"
While Lameway's on her ego trip, the Dr. reloads his MP5-K.
"No..your not..." And the Dr. blows multiple holes in Janeway, who crumples to the floor.
The Dr. smiles briefly, but he then falls, and fades into oblivion...
And the Ooga Booga aliens blow Voyager into itty bitty pieces.
The USS Voyager is crusing in space. And it rams into a planet.
"Jee wiz Cap'n Laneway!" Lt. Paris blutters. "These new sensors are so great, I almost actually saw that planet before we crashed!"
"Yes Comrade Paris, these wery good sensors" Lameway responds.
"We get signal!" Tuvok shouts.
"What fuck you sayink?" Lameway asked.
"Main screen turn on." And it did.
"Ogga bogga!" a very ugly alien says. "You hit our planet! We kill you now!"
Lameway thinks for a moment, well appears to think anyways. "Ensign Cannonfodder, beam down give superadvanced tech."
"Aye Aye." He says, the last lines he'll ever speak. He beams down, but thanks to the transporter, in a couple thousand pieces. Strangly the tech is fine.
"Cap'n, you violated the prime directive!" Paris objects.
"Silence! Heil the Fuhrer!"
"But you're a Commie, not a nazi!"
And Captain Lameway pulls out her phaser and quickly kills the poor fool, who dared point out a continuty error.
Suddenly, her comm badge beaps so loudly, Ensign Unlucky collapses in a pool of goo.
"Dr. to bridge! You stole that from my holonovel; killing crewmembers! I demand royalties!" Dr. nameless says.
"Here something else from your progam! Decomplyink you!"
But the Dr. actually has some brains. He quickly slaps on his MOBEL EMMITTER OF JUSTICE and wips out a hidden MP5-K.
He charges down the hull, mowwing down everyone in site.
"Hi Dr." Ensign Nameless says.
"Hi yourself!" the Dr. responds, moments before pumping him full of small supersonic pieces of lead.
Then Tuvok, the magic vulcan fairy comes.
"Move zig!" He orders to ensigns. They charge and fire at the Dr. only to hit each other.
Tuvok takes his big rifle and fires. He blasts a big hole in the ship, and is sucked into space where he explodes.
"Ha!"
The Dr. arrives on the bridge moments later. Chackotay charges at him, but the Dr. rips his rank away, making him a ensign in a red shirt. And as such, the door closes on him and he is split in two.
He turns to Ensign Kim. "Hi 'I'm an ensign for 7 years and am still alive' well not anymore" and Kim got the fade he deserved for a long time.
"And you 7 of 9" the Dr. reloads his gun. "Ms 'I'm only here cause I have large breasts and look sexy in a catsuit" The bullets sliced through her clouths, which crumple to the floor in slow motion, lasting 10 minutes.
"Oh this is insane." And the Dr. finishs her off.
He then fires a few dozen rounds into Neelix, who needs no explination.
"And you, Torres. Torn between two worlds! That's been done way too many times" and she too dies.
"And you, CapZtain Laneway!" The Dr. squeezes the trigger...and the clip falls empty to the floor.
"I stole from your novel I have gun" She takes aim, fires. The Dr. falls to the floor.
"MUHAHAHAHA!! I AM THE RULER OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!"
While Lameway's on her ego trip, the Dr. reloads his MP5-K.
"No..your not..." And the Dr. blows multiple holes in Janeway, who crumples to the floor.
The Dr. smiles briefly, but he then falls, and fades into oblivion...
And the Ooga Booga aliens blow Voyager into itty bitty pieces.
