Star Crossed Fanfic

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-05-14 02:10pm

Wow...love the foreplay between Mara and Luke.

Nice intro to Jellico...and honestly shaping up very intresting on the federation front...long but worth the wait.

I wonder how the Borg events will pan out.

All in all great chapter Stravo.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-05-14 02:17pm

Kelly Antilles wrote:Hmmm... *contemplates finishing that scene betwen Mara and Nemisis* Muwhahahaha....

Great chapter as always Stravo. Wish I could write as well as you do.

Kelly, everyone has their own style and way of writing much like performing Jazz. You are your own star in your own right and should embrace that. Never compare yourself to anyone else, be different. I could never write porn the way you do hon nor do I intend to try (although there will be a sex scene coming up soon.)

Rightous Fist Of Heaven · Post by **Rightous Fist Of Heaven** » 2003-05-14 04:15pm

Hmm, something in the Mara/Luke thing made me think. Dark side really has no love. Love is a part of the side of light (if im not terribly mistaken) does this suggest that Nemesis may be turning back to the side of light?

Excellent chapter once again Stravo. Also it seems that the Archer group just didnt take the hint that allying with the Borg is a bad idea

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-05-14 04:36pm

Rightous Fist Of Heaven wrote:Dark side really has no love.

Do what???

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-05-14 04:37pm

Kelly Antilles wrote:
Rightous Fist Of Heaven wrote:Dark side really has no love.
Do what???

I think I'd agree with him on that one. You can't have true love if you're burning with anger as a Dark Side person would be. However, you can lust after someone, since that's a different thing...

Dark Primus · Post by **Dark Primus** » 2003-05-14 04:39pm

Rightous Fist Of Heaven wrote: Excellent chapter once again Stravo. Also it seems that the Archer group just didnt take the hint that allying with the Borg is a bad idea

Excellent story, Stravo.

Now here are things I would like to see:
* Picard somehow kills the Borg Bitch but also realizes he has to become Locutus of Borg again to take control over the Borg collective and rebuild its resources to slow the Empire down.

* And Kirk succesful establish a new better and stronger Federation instead of the weak communist type.

If my memory serves me right wasn't it mentioned some chapters ago that when free market was abolished in Fed space the major corporations moved outside Federation influence?
I see a potential of new ally for Kirk.

Luke Starkiller · Post by **Luke Starkiller** » 2003-05-14 04:42pm

Good chapter, as always. I find myself thinking of the reckoning that Luke mentioned with reference to Boba Fett. Vader's 'No disintigrations' line came to mind when I read that for some reason.

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2003-05-14 04:43pm

Someone has proberly mentioned this before but if the destruction of the universe is being caused by the temoral paradoxs. Shouldn't just about everythong that happens in StarCrossed make this happen a lot faster? I mean now u,ve got imperial fleets sevral millenia out of time. And everything that happens jus after "The trouble with tribles" is gone.
Or iam i jus taking it far to seriously? Shuold this be something i should spent my disbeleve with?

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-05-14 05:06pm

Crayz9000 wrote:
Kelly Antilles wrote:
Rightous Fist Of Heaven wrote:Dark side really has no love.
Do what???
I think I'd agree with him on that one. You can't have true love if you're burning with anger as a Dark Side person would be. However, you can lust after someone, since that's a different thing...

For the Skywalkers, love is the only path off the dark path, either the love of a son for a father or a man for a woman. Whether the Skywalker in question uses that love to get off the path is an indivdual decision. The light side always offers a way to return. We shall see if BOTH Nemesis and Mara use their love to save each other or damn each other.

In terms of the paradoxes, yes, Frankly the events of starcrossed are accelerating the destruction of the universe but that was the point of the game between Gary and Q. They knew the universe was ending, the gods decided to let it end and so Gary proposed the game as a form of last ditch entertainment. (The true motives for Gary's offer become incredibly important in the coming chapters.)

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2003-05-14 05:23pm

They knew the universe was ending, the gods decided to let it end and so Gary proposed the game as a form of last ditch entertainment.

wow Gary really is a sadistic bastard isn't he?

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-05-14 05:25pm

Crazedwraith wrote:
stravo wrote:They knew the universe was ending, the gods decided to let it end and so Gary proposed the game as a form of last ditch entertainment.
wow Gary really is a sadistic bastard isn't he?

You don't know the half of it.....yet.

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2003-05-14 07:02pm

Great Chapter, finally we see the Federation Remnant's base, I was wondering what that place looked like.

"My hands are dirty"

"My hands are dirty too"

Another line snatched by Stravo, how many more are going to get snatched anyhow?

So, Captain Ochoa is just sitting in his cell now eh?

And Captain Entrebbe, is he gone for good?

How about Section 31's plot to kill Nemesis?

And what is Q planning to do with Janeway i have to wonder?

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-05-14 09:11pm

Where is

Q
Thrawn
Kirk
Ochoa
S31

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-05-14 09:27pm

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Where is

Q
Thrawn
Kirk
Ochoa
S31

GAT,

Thrawn was in the last chapter. S31 was basically eviscerated in the last chapter. Kirk won't be around for awhile. *Obi Wan voice* "Patience." If I were to address every plot point and subplot we would be reading 40 page chapters. ( not that I think many people would complain)

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2003-05-14 09:42pm

Stravo wrote:
Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Where is

Q
Thrawn
Kirk
Ochoa
S31
GAT,

Thrawn was in the last chapter. S31 was basically eviscerated in the last chapter. Kirk won't be around for awhile. *Obi Wan voice* "Patience." If I were to address every plot point and subplot we would be reading 40 page chapters. ( not that I think many people would complain)

Except those who want the next chapter yesterday!

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-05-14 10:15pm

Awesome chapter there Stravo, great dialog, I wish I could do that in my writting . Anyway, I wanna see more Ochoa. Ochoa is an awesome character.

*Pulls out the tazer.* Alright, enough chatting...back to work. *ZAP* Nothing to see here people, just move along and let Stravo get back to work.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-05-15 02:38am

Argh, its late and I just now noticed the update. Hmmm, will read tomorrow.!.!.! Damn you...must wait.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-05-15 08:57am

I love it.

P.S. Stravo, I'm not reading Twilight Wars until Starcrossed is finished.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2003-05-15 07:36pm

I love your plot and characterization (generally), but IMHO, Star Crossed is in serious need of editing and general cleaning up. I find a lot of things that are odd: for example, you have Mara saying something along the lines of "there is no way in hell" - well, first of all, Hell is capitalized and secondly, why would she think that? She's a product of Imperial civilization, not Terran.

Things like that throw off the fic for me.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-05-15 08:07pm

Phongn,

I agree that the work needs some editing, I have no patience to go through and change typos (unfortunately). Perhaps one day I'll go back and do some cleaning. Please try to look past this and enjoy the story as so many others have. I do appreciate the comments and thank you so much for taking the time to read it.

As to Hell - I guess when Han Solo says "I'll see you in Hell" on Hoth, he must have been a Terran spy.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2003-05-16 01:22pm

Stravo wrote: As to Hell - I guess when Han Solo says "I'll see you in Hell" on Hoth, he must have been a Terran spy.

We can rationalize this with translation into idiomatic english - perhaps they were saying something like "I'll see you in the realm of the sith" or something, which would be the equivalent of hell, so it was transalted as hell for easier understanding of the actual meaning.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-05-16 01:50pm

Cpt_Frank wrote:We can rationalize this with translation into idiomatic english - perhaps they were saying something like "I'll see you in the realm of the sith" or something, which would be the equivalent of hell, so it was transalted as hell for easier understanding of the actual meaning.

If that's the case, why do we still hear phrases like "Strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark" and "scruffy-looking nerfherder" which haven't been translated?

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2003-05-16 01:55pm

IG-88E wrote: If that's the case, why do we still hear phrases like "Strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark" and "scruffy-looking nerfherder" which haven't been translated?

Errm... perhaps because a gundark isn't comparable to anything we have on earth so that this saying doesn't have a true earth equivalent?

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-05-16 02:10pm

Cpt_Frank wrote:
IG-88E wrote: If that's the case, why do we still hear phrases like "Strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark" and "scruffy-looking nerfherder" which haven't been translated?
Errm... perhaps because a gundark isn't comparable to anything we have on earth so that this saying doesn't have a true earth equivalent?

Except that translations aren't always exact. Watch any Japanese anime that's been translated and you'll find that specialized words that have no true equivalent can be swapped for something different in English.

"Pull the ears off a gundark" would probably be changed to something like "wrestle a bear".

Besides, what about the EU? Why do we constantly hear things like "Sithspit" or "caf" when they could easily be translated to "Dammit" and "coffee"?

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2003-05-16 02:14pm

mayhaps, hell is a universal constant.