A box office roundup

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2006-09-19 08:31pm

Yeah, I fell out of the habit. Yeah, here's a new one. Numbers from Mojo as always.

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#1 - Gridiron Gang, Week 1
Weekend gross: $14.4m
Theater count: 3504
Budget: $30m

I think Rock has realized nobody wants him to be another Schwarzenegger, and so he's experimenting with this "acting" thing. From what I hear, he's not bad at it. Still, I'd love to see him in something grim and bloody, along the lines of the first Conan flick.

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#2 - The Black Dahlia, Week 1
Weekend gross: $10m
Theater count: 2226
Budget: $50m

If you're going to spend fifty million dollars making a forties period piece, don't cast Josh "Nothing I'm in makes money!" Hartnett as the lead and then skimp on the publicity. I had to check IMDB just to see what the hell this movie was about. Speaking of the database, users on there don't seem to like it much either, giving it a 5.7 average rating.

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#3 - Everyone's Hero, Week 1
Weekend gross: $6m
Theater count: 2896
Budget: Unknown

Apparently Christopher Reeve was working on this at the time of his death. By all accounts it's a big smelly piece of animated crap, with Whoopie Goldberg as a talking baseball bat. Or something. I saw an advertisement somewhere, and it looked really unappealing. I don't know what it cost, but it's safe to say they won't be making it back anytime soon.

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#4 - The Covenant, Week 2
Weekend gross: $4.7m (-46%)
Total gross: $15.8m
Theater count: 2681 (+0)
Budget: $20m

Given the marketing and general vibe of this movie, I initially thought it was some sort of Underworld spinoff. Instead it's The Craft, but with boys. Nevertheless, like the Underworld flicks, this movie benefits from a very modest production budget. It's not doing boffo business, but it'll end up in the books as a profitable venture.

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#5 - The Last Kiss, Week 1
Weekend gross: $4.6m
Theater count: 1357
Budget: $20m

Some generic shitty drama about... people... who are confused... about their lives... or something. Date movie fodder, I guess. Anyway, twenty million isn't a huge budget, but opening fifth on a soft weekend like this (and being edged out by the second weekend of The Craft With Boys) is pretty miserable.

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And the rest of the Top Ten:

Rank - Title - Weekend/Total/Budget - (Comment)

#6 - Invincible - 4.1/51/? - (Marky Mark football movie, has actually made money.)
#7 - The Illusionist - 3.6/23/16.5 - (Who doesn't like Edward Norton?)
#8 - Little Miss Sunshine - 3.3/46/8 - (Small budget for the win!)
#9 - Hollywoodland - 2.7/10.5/? - (Who doesn't like Ben Affleck? Oh yeah, everyone.)
#10 - Crank - 2.6/24.3/12 - (Small budget for a somewhat lesser win!)

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2006-09-19 08:41pm

The Blach Dahlia was a fucking incoherent mess. God, that movie sucked.

Jim Raynor · Post by **Jim Raynor** » 2006-09-19 08:57pm

Scarlett Johansson is fucking hot and can act, but she keeps finding herself in crappy unsuccessful movies.

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2006-09-19 11:22pm

Covenant has a staggering 2% on RottenTomatoes. Jesus.

Click to see.

Cincinnatus · Post by **Cincinnatus** » 2006-09-19 11:53pm

LordShaithis wrote:Covenant has a staggering 2% on RottenTomatoes. Jesus.

Click to see.

Crossover is getting zero percent.

And I liked Hollywoodland. I’ve never understood why so many people dislike Ben Affleck, and he does a pretty good job as George Reeves, even if you have to see his ass three separate times in the movie.

If you really hate Ben Affleck and that turns you away from the movie, consider this: you also get to see him die three different ways.

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2006-09-20 02:53am

I found this user comment on IMDB...

mickeyshamrock wrote:Do you like crossovers? Then do I have the movie for you! It is called Crossover. When I heard they were going to make a movie called Crossover I started practicing my crossover like everyday. When the movie came out I brought my rock to the theater and crossed-over all these dudes in line, it was hilarious. Then I crossed-over the popcorn dude. I got the Producer's Pick, you know, a hot dog and a large soda, then I crossed-over that too. Then in the theater this guy started talking on his cell phone, you know what I did… Yup! Crossover!!! Shut him up real good. EDITOR'S NOTE: The basketball scenes in Teen Wolf are better than the basketball scenes in Crossover. Crossover.

Oh snap.

Elheru Aran · Post by **Elheru Aran** » 2006-09-20 03:00am

I've seen ads for Crossover for a while, and I had to click on that RottenTomatoes link to remember what it was. Stupid basketball movie about ghetto kids who're trying to get rich off it? Gotcha... that'll REALLY succeed.

Black Dahlia sounds cool, but it'll be a rental for me. And I'm getting fucking tired of 'Open Season' ads all over the damn tv...

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2006-09-20 03:19am

LordShaithis wrote:Covenant has a staggering 2% on RottenTomatoes. Jesus.

Click to see.

Some of the excerpts are just golden. "Movies like this are why we have eyelids."

Zed Snardbody · Post by **Zed Snardbody** » 2006-09-20 03:49am

I saw the illusionist on a whim and was really quite taken with it. Its been a while since I saw a good all around movie. And seeing turn of the century austria was pretty nifty as well.

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2006-09-20 10:34am

What an atrocious week for movies.

And I love reading bitter reviews, as long as they've got some basis.

Guardsman Bass · Post by **Guardsman Bass** » 2006-09-20 12:21pm

I was actually mildly interested in seeing The Covenant; I like supernaturalistic movies. 2 Percent, though . . .

Sriad · Post by **Sriad** » 2006-09-20 05:03pm

Durandal wrote:
LordShaithis wrote:Covenant has a staggering 2% on RottenTomatoes. Jesus.

Click to see.
Some of the excerpts are just golden. "Movies like this are why we have eyelids."

Yea.

Movies like this are an invitation for critics to whip out their snarkiest one-liners.

"Where do WB pilots go when they die? Perhaps they're reincarnated as lousy supernatural thrillers..."

"It’s as if the WB took Harry Potter and turned it into Five Hot Underwear Models Go Back to High School and Do Magic, with some accidental pseudo-adolescent homoeroticism thrown in for fun."