Riiiise from you grave.
So, after falling to 18X pounds (about 8X Kg), And after a...period of personal...issues (about one years' worth to be exact, plus 6 months of "Eh, whatever") I've ballooned back up to 256 pounds (115ish Kg) (For those who have been around long enough to remember, you read that right. I went from 250 to 185ish in 6 months, then over the course of 1.5 years, gained it all back.)
I'm officially a fatty nerd.
But not to worry. I've not forgotten how to diet, and for a mere 6 days now, have been back on what I term the "Super" (read: Semi-starvation) diet. I've reduced my caloric intake from Whatever an energy drink, a hamburger, french fries, four slices of frozen pizza, and 48-96 ounces of american beer per day is *prepost edit - quick calculation on livestrong.com tells me that's about 3500 calories+/day) to the sub-1500 calorie a day range. It's not a difficult thing to do for me, fortunately, since I've a relatively short memory, Which means as of right now, I have forgotten how it even feels to be ludicrously satisfied in my tum tum tummy and feeling empty in my gut is now the norm.
So, that said, My body is very firmly in the "ZOMG YOU ARE DEFINITELY STRAVING AND GOING TO DIE MUST UTILIZE FAT RESERVES IMMEDIATELY" stage, and have dropped about 4 pounds in just 6 days simply by restricting calories, eliminating sugar/HFCS, increasing fiber, yadda yadda yadda. (go back and read my previous dissertations if you're really interested.)
That said - For everyone out there who struggles to keep your weight under control, I am the POSTER CHILD for why diets fail. you lose it, you gain it all back and then some, or you lose some, get discouraged about how long it's taking, then quit. Don't. I am giving myself just 24 weeks to drop to 190 pounds, and as a further challenge, I must do it without exercise. (My work schedule simply will not allow it.) as of yesterday (250 pounds), This means I must lose a whopping 60 pounds in just six months. an average loss of 2.5 lbs. per week.
Now, 2.5 pounds per week may not sound like much, but keep in mind that a pound of fat is ~3500 calories and a sedentary body uses only 2000 calories just breathing and I work in an office sitting on my behind all day. That means that somehow, I have to figure out how to eliminate 8750 calories from my diet per 7 day period and just to maintain my weight I have to consume 12000 calories a week. These are, of course, ludicrously general numbers, but I know that my metabolism is pretty damn close to "normal" levels, and these calcs have worked for me in the past, so....
All that stupid rambling basically boils down to this: If I can set a ridiculously high goal like this, and stay on track to get there, then you can set yourself a perfectly reasonable goal and hit it. I am going to do this, I must do this, and you - you, dear reader, will do this with me. You will not do it using some RAR! Atkins or weight watchers or carb killers or soup diet or whatever. You will listen to your body - but also ignore it. When it says that you need a hambuger, you will question it - Do I really need a hamburger? When it's 11 o'clock at night, and you think "I could go for a ham sandwich" You will ask yourself "Could I? Could I really?" You, who read to the end of this post will remember how ol' Chardz lost 70 pounds before, how he is on the road to doing it again and ask "Hmm, I wonder if silly ol chadz is eating a burger right now." Remember, there are alternatives to almost anything! Doesn't matter the lifestyle. I have precisely one hour of free time per day working the amount of time that I work, so convenience food is about all I'll be able to shove down my stupid, fat face. The choices of what food is what's important. Find something you know is healthy and that you like and treat yourself to that more! (I happen to like artichokes, for isntance, and will be eating quite a lot more of it) remember your mineral needs, and DRINK WATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (also diet pepsi) and I'll see you all on the beach.