How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2002-09-10 10:46pm

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1
Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of
darkness.

Presbyterians: None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None
Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the
change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk
about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the
need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found
that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a
poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next
Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb
traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and
tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved.
You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide
lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice
and a covered dish.

Nazarene:6 One woman to replace the bulb while five men review
church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish:
What's a light bulb?

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-09-10 10:49pm

Jews: 2
One to hold the light bulb, and one to snip off the top.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2002-09-10 10:56pm

Atheists: 0

Since A light bulb cannot exist, there is no lightbulb.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2002-09-10 11:04pm

I heard

Catholics: 0 they all stand around the bulb asking "what did I do wrong?"

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-09-10 11:14pm

Atheists:Two One to change the light-bulb, the other to convice him/her not to

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-09-11 12:00am

Muslims: Two

One to yell Jihad and blow himself up, taking the old light bulb with him. The second declares a victory for Islam, as there are no light bulbs left.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-09-11 03:24am

Buddists: 3
Goes to the hardware store and performs tests to determine which lightbulb is the recycled essense of the previous lightbulb.