This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

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Broomstick
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This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by Broomstick » 2018-05-20 01:15am

Petra the African Grey knows how to use an Alexa:





This is why I have Alexa on my Kindle turned OFF - my birds get into enough mischief as it is.
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. Leonard Nimoy.

Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.

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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by Raw Shark » 2018-05-20 12:33pm

I stayed in a basement with a neglected African Grey while visiting a girlfriend's parents once. Those things are fucking terrifying. I did not sleep for a second. My mere presence was enough for it to scream the parrot version of, "Hey you! Let me out right now or I swear I will end you!"

"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker

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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by Raw Shark » 2018-05-20 12:49pm

Ghetto Edit: I actually tried to reason with the vicious little dinosaur. I was like, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I don't even have the keys! I have no control over this situation unless I locate an angle grinder and burn some bridges and I know it sucks!" and it was like (exaggeration for the sake of humor but still not entirely off base), "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds." No sleep was had that night.

"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker

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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by Vendetta » 2018-05-20 01:04pm

My ex's parrot used to make the Windows Vista startup noise.

It had questionable taste in computing.

It also held phone conversations with itself. Including making the ringing and hang up noises.

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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by Broomstick » 2018-05-20 03:11pm

Raw Shark, next time feed the Raging Dinosaur. It still might not want to be friends, but they're very food motivated. Best suggestions are either nuts or fruits. NO avocado or eggplant or chocolate, they're all toxic (avocado being the worst and most deadly). Also like bread, cereal, sugar (again, no chocolate).
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. Leonard Nimoy.

Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy

Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice

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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by madd0ct0r » 2018-05-20 03:30pm

A pub near me has one called Buiscuit. I made friends with her on the first visit thanks to Broomstick's anecdotes over the years.
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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by Raw Shark » 2018-05-25 05:44am

Broomstick wrote:
2018-05-20 03:11pm
Raw Shark, next time feed the Raging Dinosaur. It still might not want to be friends, but they're very food motivated. Best suggestions are either nuts or fruits. NO avocado or eggplant or chocolate, they're all toxic (avocado being the worst and most deadly). Also like bread, cereal, sugar (again, no chocolate).
I will keep this advice in mind.

"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker

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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by Broomstick » 2018-05-25 07:47am

A bag of peanuts in the shell and just talking to a bird in a calm voice can work wonders. Like I said, don't trust a bird like that, there's a good chance it's gone insane/psychotic from neglect, but convince it you're a source of food and it's motivation to murder you and eat your eyeballs drops significantly.
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. Leonard Nimoy.

Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy

Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice

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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by Simon_Jester » 2018-05-25 08:16am

...Going by his posts, this sounds like a generalization of a lot of the rules Raw Shark already uses socially to deal with the people he deals with.
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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by madd0ct0r » 2018-05-25 08:56am

Simon_Jester wrote:
2018-05-25 08:16am
...Going by his posts, this sounds like a generalization of a lot of the rules Raw Shark already uses socially to deal with the people he deals with.
People generally are far less complicated then they like to think.
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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by Simon_Jester » 2018-05-25 11:38am

That, or Raw Shark needs to start dealing with people who are significantly smarter than Broomstick's parrots, as opposed to merely "not significantly dumber than..."

:P
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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-05-25 12:34pm

Or, at least, significantly more sane.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by Broomstick » 2018-05-25 05:57pm

Hey, MY parrots are well adjusted and sane. They are cautious around new humans, but once reassured those shaved apes are not a danger to them are quite cute and cuddly (although most people are not that enthused with parrots grooming their hair for them - the first time one of my parrots decided to groom the landlord's beard he, the landlord, wasn't at all reassured by the act of affection).

But a neglected and/or abused parrot, particularly one of the larger ones (and African Greys count in that group), can be outright dangerous to a human being. They really do know to go for vulnerable points like eyes and throats. Something like a hyacinth macaw peels brazil nuts like we peel an orange, they most certainly CAN tear your throat out if sufficiently provoked.

And parrots are not normally classed as predators - the falconers I know have secured fences and cages for their birds as much to protect wandering idiot humans from the flying killing machines (that's what raptors like hawks and eagles are) as to protect the birds from the humans. Likewise, with the return of bald eagles to the lower 48, the DNR often posts guards around their nests not to protect the birds but to protect stupid humans from being maimed or killed by mommy and daddy eagle protecting their brood.

Hey, these tiny critters survived where T.Rex didn't. They're cute as all hell but they are NOT pushovers!
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. Leonard Nimoy.

Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy

Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice

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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2018-05-25 06:17pm

Just think of them as Velociraptors with wings. Its pretty much what they are.
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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-05-25 10:48pm

I was actually talking about Sharks choice of friends. Of the insane redheaded variety, in particular.

My bias where birds are concerned favors those which can be fried, grilled, roasted, baked and plated up.

(but not boiled. Ewww)
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by Raw Shark » 2018-05-26 02:45am

U.P. Cinnabar wrote:
2018-05-25 10:48pm
I was actually talking about Sharks choice of friends. Of the insane redheaded variety, in particular.
What can I say? I love her. It's dumb, but I do. I just talked to her yesterday. She is a jerk, and I slept with her for 2.5 years. I fully admit that I'm a jackass.

"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker

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Re: This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-05-26 07:52am

No, you're just a fool for love, Shark. Love does that to everyone.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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