You Have the Codes(RAR!)

OT: anything goes!

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U.P. Cinnabar
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Re: You Have the Codes(RAR!)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar »

Yes, you are able to select targets for all the nukes.
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Re: You Have the Codes(RAR!)

Post by Tribble »

Korto wrote: 2018-03-21 09:49am Can I decide where these things go? Because I try to work out the best attack that coincidentally leaves Australia as the lone standing SUPERPOWER OF THE WORLD! AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE! OI! OI! OI!

Maybe just lob a couple of bombs at our way for some plausible deniability.
Anyway, Sydney and Melbourne have it coming.
Koalas are pure evil, and a plague on this world (just look at those soulless eyes staring into you like the abyss). Therefore Australia must be burned in order to save everyone else from this menace. I'll nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure :P
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Re: You Have the Codes(RAR!)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar »

Drop bears are worse. But K. Rudd has them all beat.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
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Re: You Have the Codes(RAR!)

Post by Zaune »

Well, I'm about to have a very awkward conversation with someone at the US consulate. I suppose the best approach might be the most direct: "I have no idea what the fuck this was doing in my house, but I want rid of it."
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GuppyShark
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Re: You Have the Codes(RAR!)

Post by GuppyShark »

So you're saying you already find Australian wildlife threatening, and the proposed solution is to make them radioactive?
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Re: You Have the Codes(RAR!)

Post by Formless »

U.P. Cinnabar wrote: 2018-03-13 03:26pm One fine morning, you wake up next to the "football," containing all the codes for the American nuclear arsenal. For purposes of this RAR! these codes cannot be changed.

What do you do?
Fire. Fire solves everything. :angelic:

Unless its the actual forty pound telephone like Skimmer described, in which case I go shopping for tannerite and ammo. This must be destroyed on public land where no one can be incriminated even if the feds find the remains. Preferably this bomb is going off somewhere remote like Wyoming to minimize the chance of even that happening. Oh, and I always handle it with nitrile gloves. Can't afford to leave fingerprints.

Handling this situation literally any other way is asking for trouble.

As you can imagine, I don't want anything to do with this, and I don't wish for myself or anyone I know to be arrested for a crime committed by Q or some douchebag time traveler. I mean, of course the codes are going to be changed, that's actually a given because the government is not literally pants of head retarded. But whoever stole these codes is likely going to be on death row if discovered. I'm in for vandalizing them only because no one but my immediate family can ever know they went through my hands. And even they are only allowed to know because I literally cannot keep it secret from them.
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Re: You Have the Codes(RAR!)

Post by Tribble »

GuppyShark wrote: 2018-05-05 07:09pm So you're saying you already find Australian wildlife threatening, and the proposed solution is to make them radioactive?

While having your face mauled off by an angry, mutated radioactive death koala wouldn't be very healthy for you, I should have at least culled their numbers, so your odds of running into one would go down.

Plus Australians are probably so used to being surrounded by deadly creatures all day I doubt they'd notice the difference, apart from said creatures now glowing in the dark. :P
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Re: You Have the Codes(RAR!)

Post by Solauren »

Tribble wrote: 2018-05-06 12:37am
GuppyShark wrote: 2018-05-05 07:09pm So you're saying you already find Australian wildlife threatening, and the proposed solution is to make them radioactive?

While having your face mauled off by an angry, mutated radioactive death koala wouldn't be very healthy for you, I should have at least culled their numbers, so your odds of running into one would go down.

Plus Australians are probably so used to being surrounded by deadly creatures all day I doubt they'd notice the difference, apart from said creatures now glowing in the dark. :P
Well, they'd have an easier time avoiding them if they were glowing in the dark.
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Re: You Have the Codes(RAR!)

Post by Dani_2112 »

I'd place the codes in a small box, and walk away. I don't have the time or mental capacity to deal with this kind of situation.
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Re: You Have the Codes(RAR!)

Post by Zixinus »

Dani_2112 wrote: 2018-05-14 12:33pm I'd place the codes in a small box, and walk away. I don't have the time or mental capacity to deal with this kind of situation.
That is actually a very smart thing to do, IMO.
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