The DMV is Purgatory

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Corvus 501
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The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Corvus 501 » 2016-04-28 06:10am

Each DMV instance is a a portal to purgatory. The sheer frustration, rage, and homacidal thoughts generated therein are collected and used to pay the Infernal Revenue Servace's finder's fees, assuring that taxes are payed on time. 8)

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Iroscato » 2016-04-28 06:25am

Mind expanding on whatever the hell it is you're talking about?
Yeah, I've always taken the subtext of the Birther movement to be, "The rules don't count here! This is different! HE'S BLACK! BLACK, I SAY! ARE YOU ALL BLIND!?

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2016-04-28 10:22am

Corvus 501 wrote:Each DMV instance is a a portal to purgatory. The sheer frustration, rage, and homacidal thoughts generated therein are collected and used to pay the Infernal Revenue Servace's finder's fees, assuring that taxes are payed on time. 8)
I'm assuming Corvus is relating a not-atypical experience with his locality's Department of Motor Vehicles. In Oklahoma, we have tag offices, which, for most motor-vehicle related paperwork, license plates/tags, is the same thing.

In every respect. Including the waiting in line(we don't have to take a number, like they did in Georgia), and the sheer stupidity of the people in front of you.

(though I don't think this thread belongs in SLAM)
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Iroscato » 2016-04-28 10:23am

Fair enough. Sounds more like it belongs in Venting to be honest.
Yeah, I've always taken the subtext of the Birther movement to be, "The rules don't count here! This is different! HE'S BLACK! BLACK, I SAY! ARE YOU ALL BLIND!?

- Raw Shark

Destiny and fate are for those too weak to forge their own futures. Where we are 'supposed' to be is irrelevent.

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2016-04-28 10:27am

Chimaera wrote:Fair enough. Sounds more like it belongs in Venting to be honest.
To put it in British terms, think of it like, oh, your local council, on their worst day, and about five times busier. And everyone in line in front of you either has a really complicated problem or is too dumb to understand the response.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2016-04-28 10:55am

Or, they don't think they need proof of insurance, when transferring a title, buying a license plate/tags, and pretty much everything else DMV-related requires you show proof of insurance, and they say that right on the door at eye level, as you come in.

Or, they don't think they need to provide any proof of citizenship when first applying for a driver's license, if they're not natives.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Simon_Jester » 2016-04-28 03:11pm

Honestly, I've never had particularly serious problems with my local DMV-equivalent (and yes, I'm an American). But then, I tend to submerge into a book the minute I set foot in the building, and not come back out again until it's my turn at the desk.
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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Elheru Aran » 2016-04-28 05:05pm

I've only needed to go to the DMV once or twice in the past six years. You just have to make sure you have all your papers and be prepared to wait. I'm actually fine with the Georgia 'take a number and wait' system as it eliminates standing in line, you just sit down and keep an eye on the various counters to see where your number turns up. It could be worse.
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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Adam Reynolds » 2016-04-28 05:25pm

Lately the upside is that you can deal with most crap online, at least in the California system.

Though the downside to that is that it would likely mean that anyone who actually goes into the office is going to have a worse problem.

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Zor » 2016-04-28 06:11pm

Don't worry there is a project to use genetic engineering to creating a new species of sapients specifically to man the DNA.

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2016-04-28 06:45pm

Elheru Aran wrote:I've only needed to go to the DMV once or twice in the past six years. You just have to make sure you have all your papers and be prepared to wait. I'm actually fine with the Georgia 'take a number and wait' system as it eliminates standing in line, you just sit down and keep an eye on the various counters to see where your number turns up. It could be worse.
Have they gone back to issuing the licenses at the local driver's license buerau, or you still having to wait six weeks until your real license comes from Atlanta?

At least it's one-stop shopping, when you go to get your license for the first time(or have to transfer one over from another state). In Oklahoma, you have to go to the nearest OHP post first to get the paperwork, then to the tag office to get your actual license.

After that, you just have to go to the tag agency to renew.

Which usually isn't too much of a hassle, except, two years ago, I was working 12 hour days, seven days a week, and the only time I could renew my license was on my lunch. Had to wait twenty minutes, because the idiot wanting to transfer the title on his Toyota supermarket assault vehicle(SUV)didn't know he had to have proof of insurance, even though there's a sign both at the counter and on the door at eye level which says "DID YOU REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR INSURANCE?!"

didn't bring proof of insurance, and was making difficulties because he wanted to be the special little snowflake who was the exception to the rule.

Once he was dealt with, I went up the window, presented my paperwork and my money, and not five minutes later, I'm in front of the camera getting my pic taken...except the old man in charge of the agency(tag agencies are privately-owned in OK)couldn't get the camera or the computer to work for him, so another ten minutes gone.

His wife figures out how to get the picture taken, and bam, all I have to do now is get fingerprinted...aaand, the biometric scanner crashed and crashed hard, meaning the old man is on the phone with tech support for another ten minutes, before he somehow gets the scanner running, and my fingerprint in the system once again, and I finally get my license printed.

And, I end up fifteen minutes late getting back to work. Fortunately, I had already called my buddy Rick to let the lunatic supervisor know what was going on(I couldn't get a hold of him, mind you).

And, I'm going to have to do that all over again in two years. And, I have to get my tags in another two months. Thank the Emperor I drive a hoopti.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2016-04-28 06:49pm

Zor wrote:Don't worry there is a project to use genetic engineering to creating a new species of sapients specifically to man the DMV.

snip PNG file

Zor
Fixed it for you.

Also, all three counters should say "NEXT WINDOW PLEASE!!" :D
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Elheru Aran » 2016-04-28 06:56pm

U.P. Cinnabar wrote: Have they gone back to issuing the licenses at the local driver's license buerau, or you still having to wait six weeks until your real license comes from Atlanta?
You can either fill out the application online, or you can show up at the DMV. They'll print you up a temp license and the real one shows up in the mail a few days later.
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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2016-04-28 07:08pm

Eh. It's an improvement. Oklahoma hasn't quite embraced the Internet age; in fact, their unemployment insurance website only works with Internet Explorer 7. Windows doesn't ship with IE anymore, IIRC.

(on the other hand, the tag agency's within walking distance of my apartment, so not too much of an incovenience. I'll just schedule a day off to get my tags)
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Elheru Aran » 2016-04-28 07:14pm

My copy of Windows 7 has IE. You have to dig a bit to find it (I made damn well sure I hid it away where nobody could start futzing with it, people say it's OK now but I'll trust IE when the talking drums go out), but it's there.

Also: tag offices are privatized in your state? What the hell. That's a function that should be done by the government.
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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2016-04-28 07:25pm

Elheru Aran wrote:My copy of Windows 7 has IE. You have to dig a bit to find it (I made damn well sure I hid it away where nobody could start futzing with it, people say it's OK now but I'll trust IE when the talking drums go out), but it's there.

Also: tag offices are privatized in your state? What the hell. That's a function that should be done by the government.
I think they are. Contractors, I think. I'll have to ask next time I go to the tag office.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Lord Revan » 2016-04-28 09:09pm

my PC shipped with IE (my OS is Win 8.1) but it could have been part of the pack instead something that came with Windows as I got my current PC as a warranty replacement. That said thank what ever (non-)existing deities that you don't need a car here in Finland (not here in Espoo at the very least the countryside is a different matter).
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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Dominus Atheos » 2016-04-28 11:06pm

In Oregon, the first thing you do is go up to a guy behind a counter like a concierge or maitre d, tell him what you want to do, he quickly checks to make sure that you have the correct paperwork, then he gives you a number and tells you to sit down.

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by phred » 2016-04-30 01:20am

Dominus Atheos wrote:In Oregon, the first thing you do is go up to a guy behind a counter like a concierge or maitre d, tell him what you want to do, he quickly checks to make sure that you have the correct paperwork, then he gives you a number and tells you to sit down.
That's how it works in CA too. It probably speeds up a lot of the process right there. I also go prepared with headphones/reading material which alleviates the terminal wait times involved with doing anything there.
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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by General Zod » 2016-05-02 08:40pm

In New York you have to wait an hour to get a number, and then another three hours to be told that you don't have enough documents with you and you have to come back tomorrow.
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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Executor32 » 2016-05-09 03:18am

IE was the default browser in non-N versions of Windows all the way through 8.1, and is even still included in Windows 10, though it's been deprecated in favor of Edge as the default browser.

Also, I count myself lucky for never having a difficult time or a long wait at the DMV. One of the few perks of living in a mostly-rural county.
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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by SCRawl » 2016-05-10 07:19am

Moved to OT, because this does not belong in SLAM.
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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by Mr Bean » 2016-05-10 09:07am

Piff you think you know pain?

Try getting anything done in the Washington DC DMV.

First off there's one for Washington DC, it might say there are multiple but trust me none of them can help you except the downtown one. First off you'll be driving by about 200 cops so best hope your not here for expired tags or to pay a fine for tinting your windows to much or anything else like that. Second they open the doors right around 7 am and start seeing people at 8 am and that's only because the line outside the door is so long if they did not let people in it would impede traffic.

Now to the fun part, the DMV is set up in a horseshoe setup with all the counters wrapping around the center area, about thirty counters in all anywhere between 5 to 20 will be empty of course and the central seating area which is theater style has like 400 seats. You walk in the door take a number and sit down and wait for your number to be called. The central board has four digits because seeing 3000 people in one day is not unheard of.

And now to get to the 8th circle of hell, if you don't stand up and move to the counter when your number is called they give you about six seconds then skip onto the next number and they give ZERO FUCKS if you don't start moving the instant your number is called. During my four hours in hell I saw six different people get their number called and have to START OVER because they missed there call.

And now to the 9th circle. Remember 400 seats? About 60 of those are close enough to A. See the call number board (Naturally there's only one) and B. Close enough to the people to hear them call out over the din of 500 people in a room talking not to mention at least 30-50 screaming kids because everyone brings there kids along.

And of course air conditioning is optional so best have a renewal time in the winter.

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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by LadyTevar » 2016-05-10 01:27pm

Wow.... Now I'm actually glad that WV DMV is somewhat sensible.

First: We have multiple offices available in each county (55 counties. Bigger counties can have up to 3 separate DMVs due to the fun way roads wind around mountains.) The offices are also open from 8am until 6 or 7 pm weekdays. Some have weekend hours. They all are set up the same way: a "greeting table", a bank of seats, and the windows along the sides. They even have bathrooms.

Second: As long as you have proof of insurance, proof the taxes on your car were paid (see county courthouse for that one), proof of ID, and proof of residence, you can show this up front to the central office, and they will give you a number with a prefix from A-D. The prefix code is what you're in there for, the number is when you'll be called. Then, you're asked to have a seat.

This is where it's good: The seats all face a HUGE electronic display with A-D listed on it, and the current number they're working with. Only one or two of the windows DON'T have a clerk working there, they keep open as many as possible. When a clerk is finished with the last customer, they hit a button and a very polite computerized female voice loudly and clearly states "Now Serving A-190 at Window 5". This is repeated five times, which gives A-190 plenty of time to get up and start making his way over. From what I've seen, the busiest prefix code (IDs) have the most windows dedicated to it, while the lesser prefixes are split up between "whomever is available". While you could still be waiting for a while if you're A-200, you're going to see and hear the codes and numbers counting up every 3-5minutes. Sometimes, you get a rash of them as a bunch of people all finish at once.

So, you get up to your window, and a polite person takes your information. S/he already knows what you're there for, thanks to the prefix code, and can start on inputting the information into the computer. Depending on what's going in, this can take 3-5mins, and the clerks I've been with have all been polite and extremely competent at their jobs. I pay my money for the ID, and they send me over to the Photobooth.

Here, there's another wait until your name is called by one of the clerks. You electronically sign the card, you get your fingerprint taken, you sit down, and if you don't blink your picture is taken in a flash and starts getting printed on the card with the rest of your info. It rarely takes more than a couple minutes for the computer to spit it out, and it's still warm when it's handed to you.
Best part? WV Drivers ID is good for FIVE YEARS. I got mine in 2015, I don't have to do this again until Sept 2020.

The card itself is full-color, two pictures of me on it (large & small), micro-printing, three holograms of one of the State's tourism destinations, two different bar-codes, and other anti-counterfeit protections.
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Re: The DMV is Purgatory

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2016-05-10 02:06pm

LadyTevar wrote:Best part? WV Drivers ID is good for FIVE YEARS. I got mine in 2015, I don't have to do this again until Sept 2020.

The card itself is full-color, two pictures of me on it (large & small), micro-printing, three holograms of one of the State's tourism destinations, two different bar-codes, and other anti-counterfeit protections.
When I left Georgia, you had the option of paying for a license good for four years, five years, or, I believe, ten years. Most, like Oklahoma, are good for four years. Going to the tag office, usually, isn't so painful, and it's within walking distance of my apartment. It just gets interesting when stupid people are in line with you.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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