Voice message at 5 am : "I want my boots! Call me back!" >click<
Voice message 30 minutes later, 5:30 am: "Call me back - I need my boots!" >click<
Voice message 2 hours later, at 7:30 am: "Why haven't you called me back? I know you're there! Call me back!" >click<
Voice message 20 minutes after that (do the math, it's just before 8 am): "This is my FOURTH CALL this morning, I DEMAND you call me back! NOW!" >click<
OK...
1) we don't open until 9 am.
2) we need a name, phone number or other identifying information so we know who the fuck to call back. I know you're an adult male human but that's about it. I need to narrower it down further than 1/2 of our customer base.
3) this would also allow us to locate your footwear and determine if it's done, not done, or a figment of your imagination
It must be something in the water around here....
Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Moderator: Edi
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Broomstick
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 28765
- Joined: 2004-01-02 07:04pm
- Location: Industrial armpit of the US Midwest
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. Leonard Nimoy.
Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy
Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice
Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy
Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Just quit my internship.
As of 5pm this afternoon, I'm a Lawyer. An unemployed one, yes, but a Lawyer.
As of 5pm this afternoon, I'm a Lawyer. An unemployed one, yes, but a Lawyer.
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Yeah, I try to, but I work so much that it kind of becomes a large part of my social life by default. I definitely have a better response time to the customers who I actually like, even (especially) if they're a hot mess like this guy (who I've been carting around for nine years now).Zaune wrote:I think I now understand why Mel is so adamant about maintaining professional detachment from her passengers.Raw Shark wrote:6:30am at my job: [snip]
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
This is less a conversation and more of one of the fucked up situations (out of many) I ran into at my old IT job, so do with it what you will. I was reminded of it the other night when my gaming buddy was asking for more IT horror stories. It's a long read, but likely worth it.
We did an install at a library here in Texas many years back as part of a grant. Part of this was running two network drops to the front desk that was in the middle of the main room (basically). We start coming up with ideas. Floor molding, librarians don't like it even though their thicknet wires are literally run across the floor (but I see their point, they wanted that cleaned up anyway). 40-foot drop-down power-pole from the ceiling? HA! No way. After about 15 minutes of 4 idiots looking around trying to come up with something, the head Librarian walks up and says "You know, there's a piece of unused conduit under the front desk." Well no, we did not know that. So he walks over and pulls a panel out from the bottom of the desk and bam, conduit with a nice piece of old phone wire hanging out. This now explains the other end in the phone room sticking out of the floor (that we had no idea what it was for until then).
So, I tie/tape (using a nifty little "knot" a cabler taught me) two pieces of cat5e onto the the end of the phone wire at the desk end. This creates sort of an arrowhead (the two wires are larger than the single one). Remember this because it will be important later. Casey goes into the phone room and starts pulling slow (small conduit, don't want to risk losing the wires). As I'm guiding the cable, Bill (the Head Librarian) starts feeding me this story about a little mouse that used to live under the desk and they would give little scraps of food. He was sort of the mascot for the library. I don't think anything of it because Bill was kind of a joker and bullshitter (it's why I always liked going to libraries, librarians are cool).
So, after a minute or two, the wire is no longer moving. So, I start yelling "Casey, keep pulling! CASEY! You stuck?" I get no answer so go into the phone room: no Casey. I ask Javi. He doesn't know. No one knows where Casey is. So, I get pissed off thinking he took a smoke break or something and just go into the phone room and start pulling. It's fucking hard and water keeps coming out of the conduit (water gets into underground conduit, it just happens). It's getting even harder to pull and after a minute or two, Casey comes running in:
Casey: "nononononononono"
Me: (tired) "WHAT!?"
Casey: "Dude, smell you hands. I just got done washing mine."
And I do, and it smells.... bad. Like death and rotting garbage. To this day, I remember that smell.
Me: "Fuck it, I'm in deep. Let's get this done."
So I keep pulling and it's getting really hard and I'm hoping my knot doesn't break or the old wire snap but I have faith (and situations like these are why I take the time on my little knot/tape routine). Other cablers start coming into this little room to watch the IT guy grunt and pull this wire. Bill comes in to watch. There's like 6 people huddled around a 7th and a piece of conduit. Black, watery... filth starts coming out of the conduit. Like... flakes of dead stuff just flopping out into a growing puddle of water. Then the wire gets stuck.
Fuck it, let's do this. I wrap the wire around my hand, bend my knees, and lift with everything I've got and the Cat5e pops out in a flurry of black stuff. Attached to the original wire was a completely dessicated (mummified really) mouse with a death grip (literally) around the wire. By pulling, he had slid down the wire but got stuck on the larger section of two wires. There's just this little skeleton (the head at least) mouse with no eyes staring at us with his little front claws gripped around the wire.
There was this collective "AAAAAAAWWWW!" of disgust from everyone in the tiny room as their head all snapped back at the same time. So, I finally go wash my hands and come back and it's still there because 4 guys are arguing over who is going to move it. No one wants to touch it and I already rode that horse. So, Javi comes in and says "Pansy white-boys" (the librarians had vacated at this point) and tossed the wire and mouse out into the dumpster.
I started taking Bill's little bullshit stories more seriously after that.
We did an install at a library here in Texas many years back as part of a grant. Part of this was running two network drops to the front desk that was in the middle of the main room (basically). We start coming up with ideas. Floor molding, librarians don't like it even though their thicknet wires are literally run across the floor (but I see their point, they wanted that cleaned up anyway). 40-foot drop-down power-pole from the ceiling? HA! No way. After about 15 minutes of 4 idiots looking around trying to come up with something, the head Librarian walks up and says "You know, there's a piece of unused conduit under the front desk." Well no, we did not know that. So he walks over and pulls a panel out from the bottom of the desk and bam, conduit with a nice piece of old phone wire hanging out. This now explains the other end in the phone room sticking out of the floor (that we had no idea what it was for until then).
So, I tie/tape (using a nifty little "knot" a cabler taught me) two pieces of cat5e onto the the end of the phone wire at the desk end. This creates sort of an arrowhead (the two wires are larger than the single one). Remember this because it will be important later. Casey goes into the phone room and starts pulling slow (small conduit, don't want to risk losing the wires). As I'm guiding the cable, Bill (the Head Librarian) starts feeding me this story about a little mouse that used to live under the desk and they would give little scraps of food. He was sort of the mascot for the library. I don't think anything of it because Bill was kind of a joker and bullshitter (it's why I always liked going to libraries, librarians are cool).
So, after a minute or two, the wire is no longer moving. So, I start yelling "Casey, keep pulling! CASEY! You stuck?" I get no answer so go into the phone room: no Casey. I ask Javi. He doesn't know. No one knows where Casey is. So, I get pissed off thinking he took a smoke break or something and just go into the phone room and start pulling. It's fucking hard and water keeps coming out of the conduit (water gets into underground conduit, it just happens). It's getting even harder to pull and after a minute or two, Casey comes running in:
Casey: "nononononononono"
Me: (tired) "WHAT!?"
Casey: "Dude, smell you hands. I just got done washing mine."
And I do, and it smells.... bad. Like death and rotting garbage. To this day, I remember that smell.
Me: "Fuck it, I'm in deep. Let's get this done."
So I keep pulling and it's getting really hard and I'm hoping my knot doesn't break or the old wire snap but I have faith (and situations like these are why I take the time on my little knot/tape routine). Other cablers start coming into this little room to watch the IT guy grunt and pull this wire. Bill comes in to watch. There's like 6 people huddled around a 7th and a piece of conduit. Black, watery... filth starts coming out of the conduit. Like... flakes of dead stuff just flopping out into a growing puddle of water. Then the wire gets stuck.
Fuck it, let's do this. I wrap the wire around my hand, bend my knees, and lift with everything I've got and the Cat5e pops out in a flurry of black stuff. Attached to the original wire was a completely dessicated (mummified really) mouse with a death grip (literally) around the wire. By pulling, he had slid down the wire but got stuck on the larger section of two wires. There's just this little skeleton (the head at least) mouse with no eyes staring at us with his little front claws gripped around the wire.
There was this collective "AAAAAAAWWWW!" of disgust from everyone in the tiny room as their head all snapped back at the same time. So, I finally go wash my hands and come back and it's still there because 4 guys are arguing over who is going to move it. No one wants to touch it and I already rode that horse. So, Javi comes in and says "Pansy white-boys" (the librarians had vacated at this point) and tossed the wire and mouse out into the dumpster.
I started taking Bill's little bullshit stories more seriously after that.
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Sir Boss, walking around to my Supervisor's office: "G... oh, she's not here. Where is she?"
Me: "She's gone out the door for a moment" (i.e. the potty)
Sir Boss: "What? that can't happen, she never leaves her desk."
Me and co-workers giggle because he's damn near right. She was back at her desk before he got out of our cube farm.
Me: "She's gone out the door for a moment" (i.e. the potty)
Sir Boss: "What? that can't happen, she never leaves her desk."
Me and co-workers giggle because he's damn near right. She was back at her desk before he got out of our cube farm.
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
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Lord Relvenous
- Jedi Council Member
- Posts: 1501
- Joined: 2007-02-11 10:55pm
- Location: Idaho
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Blegh. The receptionist used my CRM account to enter dead leads and didn't move them to trash. Instead, they got left in the New Leads tab. Now I've got my marketing manager up my ass about it and he's just a fucking douchenozzle. Instead of sending me an email about the situation, he sends a mass email to every single originator about how some people are costing the company money and wasting their time and they know who they are.
It's fucking juvenile and I'm getting tired of his bullshit.
It's fucking juvenile and I'm getting tired of his bullshit.
Coyote: Warm it in the microwave first to avoid that 'necrophelia' effect.
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Ahriman238
- Sith Marauder
- Posts: 4854
- Joined: 2011-04-22 11:04pm
- Location: Ocularis Terribus.
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Well, I'm disappointed.
The Commonwealth of Massachusetts, in it's infinite wisdom, is giving me a license to teach ELL (English Learner Language, replacing the grammatically correct ESL English as a Second Language.) I hardly studied, and nothing I studied actually came up on the test. But I passed, so I get a license and turned loose. That's a good thing for me, makes me a lot more employable, but I'm still really disappointed.
The test is completely divorced from the job and I, a fairly clueless yob with no clue how to do the job, have been given a license to do the job on the basis that I can understand the English language fluently and apply common sense to a handful of problems. Now I'm a bit scared.
God save the Commonwealth.
The Commonwealth of Massachusetts, in it's infinite wisdom, is giving me a license to teach ELL (English Learner Language, replacing the grammatically correct ESL English as a Second Language.) I hardly studied, and nothing I studied actually came up on the test. But I passed, so I get a license and turned loose. That's a good thing for me, makes me a lot more employable, but I'm still really disappointed.
The test is completely divorced from the job and I, a fairly clueless yob with no clue how to do the job, have been given a license to do the job on the basis that I can understand the English language fluently and apply common sense to a handful of problems. Now I'm a bit scared.
God save the Commonwealth.
"Any plan which requires the direct intervention of any deity to work can be assumed to be a very poor one."- Newbiespud
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Most places will train you, and they don't want you to know any other languages because full immersion is so important. It's just a stamp that means 'is actually literate and won't teach people totally wrong English'.
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
ESL is a bad and often misleading term. Plenty of people start learning English when they already know two or more languages.Ahriman238 wrote:The Commonwealth of Massachusetts, in it's infinite wisdom, is giving me a license to teach ELL (English Learner Language, replacing the grammatically correct ESL English as a Second Language.) I hardly studied, and nothing I studied actually came up on the test. But I passed, so I get a license and turned loose. That's a good thing for me, makes me a lot more employable, but I'm still really disappointed.
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Terralthra
- Requiescat in Pace
- Posts: 4741
- Joined: 2007-10-05 09:55pm
- Location: San Francisco, California, United States
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
And ELL (around here) is "English Language Learner", which is grammatically correct and more accurate than ESL.
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Hot-But-Wasted: Hey, Baby! Do you take credit cards?
Your Driver: Sure, get in.
HBW: Asshole! [storms off]
YD: ...?
Your Driver: Sure, get in.
HBW: Asshole! [storms off]
YD: ...?
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
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Dalton
- For Those About to Rock We Salute You
- Posts: 22633
- Joined: 2002-07-03 06:16pm
- Location: New York, the Fuck You State
- Contact:
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Actual email I got regarding transition effects for graphics:
"Also the dissolve is strange. Does something funky."
No clips, images or other reference. Thanks!
"Also the dissolve is strange. Does something funky."
No clips, images or other reference. Thanks!
To Absent Friends
"y = mx + bro" - Surlethe
"You try THAT shit again, kid, and I will mod you. I will
mod you so hard, you'll wish I were Dalton." - Lagmonster
May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce.
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Do some of that tech guy shit Dalts
lol, opsec doesn't apply to fanfiction. -Aaron
PRFYNAFBTFC
CAPTAIN OF MFS SAMMY HAGAR
PRFYNAFBTFC
CAPTAIN OF MFS SAMMY HAGAR
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The Yosemite Bear
- Mostly Harmless Nutcase (Requiescat in Pace)
- Posts: 35211
- Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
- Location: Dave's Not Here Man
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
birther/Nativist coworker: Those damn Porto Rican's are stealing American jobs, and their illegally voting!
Me: How can that be PR is part of the united states a Tax paying protectorate with voting rights and everything for decades?
CW: wait is this some Obama give away?
Me: nope and they even voted to become the 51st state, it has to be ratified by 2/3rds the states though,
CW: Wait they can do that?
Me: sure why not, though if were going to let thm become a state we're going to have to change the US flag
CW: They are gonnsa change it the PR flag!'
Me: Don't be silly, everytime we add a state we add a star the US flag, so 51 means that all the 50 star flags will have to be replaced.
CW: llok of absolute horror....
Me: How can that be PR is part of the united states a Tax paying protectorate with voting rights and everything for decades?
CW: wait is this some Obama give away?
Me: nope and they even voted to become the 51st state, it has to be ratified by 2/3rds the states though,
CW: Wait they can do that?
Me: sure why not, though if were going to let thm become a state we're going to have to change the US flag
CW: They are gonnsa change it the PR flag!'
Me: Don't be silly, everytime we add a state we add a star the US flag, so 51 means that all the 50 star flags will have to be replaced.
CW: llok of absolute horror....
The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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The Yosemite Bear
- Mostly Harmless Nutcase (Requiescat in Pace)
- Posts: 35211
- Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
- Location: Dave's Not Here Man
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Wait Staff: I can't believe that Rahypnol is available that drug has no use but rape.
smart alec: sure it does, it's abailable to vets because you don't want horses injuring themselves on long trips.
wait staff: WHAT DID YOU SAY
Me: Yeah it's the one legal use is that it's patanted as a large animal tranquilizer, we don't want animals freaking out on long trips...
smart alec: sure it does, it's abailable to vets because you don't want horses injuring themselves on long trips.
wait staff: WHAT DID YOU SAY
Me: Yeah it's the one legal use is that it's patanted as a large animal tranquilizer, we don't want animals freaking out on long trips...
The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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Broomstick
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 28765
- Joined: 2004-01-02 07:04pm
- Location: Industrial armpit of the US Midwest
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
No, honey, that is NOT a genuine Louis Vuitton bag. No, it's not. You paid $700 for that? Sorry, it's still not genuine. Here are the tip-offs:
1) This isn't leather, it's plastic. Vuitton is always leather.
2) The hardware is painted plastic. Vuitton is always brass.
3) See the straps/handles? More plastic. Vuitton is always leather.
Oh, and the biggest tip-off?
4) They misspelled "Louis Vuitton" as "Luis Vutton" right here
You say you bought this at a Louis Vuitton store? Honey, either the employees at that store scammed you big time, or someone is selling out of a false front. You may wish to contact the police and/or the Louis Vuitton company. I hope you still have your bill of sale to back up your claim. So sorry, but this is NOT the genuine article.
1) This isn't leather, it's plastic. Vuitton is always leather.
2) The hardware is painted plastic. Vuitton is always brass.
3) See the straps/handles? More plastic. Vuitton is always leather.
Oh, and the biggest tip-off?
4) They misspelled "Louis Vuitton" as "Luis Vutton" right here
You say you bought this at a Louis Vuitton store? Honey, either the employees at that store scammed you big time, or someone is selling out of a false front. You may wish to contact the police and/or the Louis Vuitton company. I hope you still have your bill of sale to back up your claim. So sorry, but this is NOT the genuine article.
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. Leonard Nimoy.
Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy
Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice
Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy
Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
DRUNKEN FRATBOY: Hey! HEY! Let me in!
YOUR DRIVER: I would [Lie], but I'm here to pick up the hot blonde girl in the red dress over there [Partial Truth - It was my intent].
DFB: Well, she's got her back to you, talking to that cop.
YD: Yeah, I know. If I shout, honk, or gesture to let her know I'm here, that cop can ticket me for soliciting and probably will because he's trying to flirt with her. You know what a bunch of fucking pricks they are [All Very True]. But if she doesn't want the ride, it's all yours, bro [Lie]. Wanna ask her?
DFB: Hey! HEY! Do you want this cab?
HOT GIRL: [Stunned] Uh... okay?
DFB: Fuck! Okay.
YD: [big smile at all involved]
YOUR DRIVER: I would [Lie], but I'm here to pick up the hot blonde girl in the red dress over there [Partial Truth - It was my intent].
DFB: Well, she's got her back to you, talking to that cop.
YD: Yeah, I know. If I shout, honk, or gesture to let her know I'm here, that cop can ticket me for soliciting and probably will because he's trying to flirt with her. You know what a bunch of fucking pricks they are [All Very True]. But if she doesn't want the ride, it's all yours, bro [Lie]. Wanna ask her?
DFB: Hey! HEY! Do you want this cab?
HOT GIRL: [Stunned] Uh... okay?
DFB: Fuck! Okay.
YD: [big smile at all involved]
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Drunken co-worker: Do you know what I want?
Me: I don't know, I'm not psychic here...
DC: I want your cock, in my mouth, like right now
Me: Umm...right on! Just let me call my wife first and see if she's cool with that.
DC: Uh...wife? Shit! I didn't know..
Me: Yeah, married. I know, it's shocking huh?
This is what happens when my employer sends me off to a conference in Montreal.
Me: I don't know, I'm not psychic here...
DC: I want your cock, in my mouth, like right now
Me: Umm...right on! Just let me call my wife first and see if she's cool with that.
DC: Uh...wife? Shit! I didn't know..
Me: Yeah, married. I know, it's shocking huh?
This is what happens when my employer sends me off to a conference in Montreal.
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
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Terralthra
- Requiescat in Pace
- Posts: 4741
- Joined: 2007-10-05 09:55pm
- Location: San Francisco, California, United States
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
So, what'd your wife say?
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
One of my regulars' polyamory works pretty much this way. I have literally seen this guy whip out his cellphone and make a quick call to his wife along the lines of, "Hey sweetie, how's it going? Hey, you know [Name] that girl from [bar]? I'm in a cab on the way to her place to smoke a bowl, are you cool if we end up fucking? Yeah, yeah, I know she has a kid, but it's not like that, we're just drunk and you know. Okay. Okay. I love you, too, ciao bela." It works for them, so I've gotta respect it.Terralthra wrote:So, what'd your wife say?
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
CHEAP BITCH: I don't get why I have to wait so long for a cab. I call one every day. I should get priority service.
CB: [totally stiffs me]
YOUR DRIVER: I think I've figured out your "getting a cab" problem...
CB: Oh? What?
YD: Here's a hint: You'll never see me again.
CB: [totally stiffs me]
YOUR DRIVER: I think I've figured out your "getting a cab" problem...
CB: Oh? What?
YD: Here's a hint: You'll never see me again.
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
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The Xeelee
- Padawan Learner
- Posts: 264
- Joined: 2011-09-15 03:59pm
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Oh god these people have so little automation. So first day on the job involves writing scripts. Doh.
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The Grim Squeaker
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 10314
- Joined: 2005-06-01 01:44am
- Location: A different time-space Continuum
- Contact:
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Fellow Bioinformaticists looking at a list of lecturers:
"Neat, there's a lecture on (internet) search engines and search algorithms tommorow. But there's something weird".
Me: "What?"
Him: "No mention of Google anywhere....
Oh wait, the guy's from Yahoo".
Me: "Don't they use Bing?"
"Neat, there's a lecture on (internet) search engines and search algorithms tommorow. But there's something weird".
Me: "What?"
Him: "No mention of Google anywhere....
Oh wait, the guy's from Yahoo".
Me: "Don't they use Bing?
"Photography
Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
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Agent Fisher
- Rabid Monkey
- Posts: 3671
- Joined: 2003-04-29 11:56pm
- Location: Sac-Town, CA, USA, Earth, Sol, Milky Way, Universe
Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Me and my District partner, on a vacant house burglary/party call. We've got one subject already, the other bolted from the house as soon as we approached.
Partner: Show me your hands, your under arrest!
Teenage Dipshit: Under arrest? What for? (Now, bear in mind, it's a vacant house, the front door's been kicked in)
Me and my partner: Really?!
TDS: Yeah, why am I under arrest?
Me: Really?
Partner: Burglary, now get on the ground!
As we're cuffing him and PD is en route to take custody:
TDS: Oh man, am I going to jail? Should I call someone?
Partner: You can worry about that when PD gets here.
So, PD takes the kid for Burglary and for Conspiracy, since he had been posting up on twitter for the two days prior about the party. And we found the second subject's twitter.
TDS Friend: Oh man, need 2 work on my cardio. hadda run from 5o
TDS Friend: Damn, think homeboy got caught
Partner: Show me your hands, your under arrest!
Teenage Dipshit: Under arrest? What for? (Now, bear in mind, it's a vacant house, the front door's been kicked in)
Me and my partner: Really?!
TDS: Yeah, why am I under arrest?
Me: Really?
Partner: Burglary, now get on the ground!
As we're cuffing him and PD is en route to take custody:
TDS: Oh man, am I going to jail? Should I call someone?
Partner: You can worry about that when PD gets here.
So, PD takes the kid for Burglary and for Conspiracy, since he had been posting up on twitter for the two days prior about the party. And we found the second subject's twitter.
TDS Friend: Oh man, need 2 work on my cardio. hadda run from 5o
TDS Friend: Damn, think homeboy got caught
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Dalton
- For Those About to Rock We Salute You
- Posts: 22633
- Joined: 2002-07-03 06:16pm
- Location: New York, the Fuck You State
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Re: Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
"Someone wake up Ed Rendell"
To Absent Friends
"y = mx + bro" - Surlethe
"You try THAT shit again, kid, and I will mod you. I will
mod you so hard, you'll wish I were Dalton." - Lagmonster
May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce.