Silly things you want to do, but can't
Moderator: Edi
Silly things you want to do, but can't
Today I was in a meeting where some union guy was putting us all to sleep, I was probably only a few minutes away from putting on my sunglasses and going to sleep. Anyway, in the middle of all this someone let loose with a massive fart and I'm pretty sure everyone in the room heard it, quite a few people looked around at each other and then went back to pretending to pay attention to the speaker while trying not to nod off. That's when I was thinking man, the next time I get stuck in one of these meetings I should really let one rip and then scream "oh god I crapped my pants!!" while running for the door and knocking chairs over and stuff.
But I can't do that, since I have to be professional and all that.
But I can't do that, since I have to be professional and all that.
aerius: I'll vote for you if you sleep with me.
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
Once, when my ship was doing karaoke night, I had the urge to sing "Sweet Transvestite" from the Rocky Horror Picture show, with the costume and everything.
- The Grim Squeaker
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
Acts of Violence, jumping up and shouting/screaming in the middle of a crowded room or lecture, arguing or shouting out incorrect points in lectures by (senior and very important people), thinking of ripping my shirt off and running out of the room, etc'.
Quite regularly.
Quite regularly.
Photography
Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
One of my weird talents is knowing how to eat spaghetti by sucking it through my nose.
I've always wanted to do that in the middle of a business lunch or meeting.
I've always wanted to do that in the middle of a business lunch or meeting.
ø¤ º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
I like Celine Dion myself. Her ballads alone....they make me go all teary-eyed and shit.
- Havok
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
I like Celine Dion myself. Her ballads alone....they make me go all teary-eyed and shit.
- Havok
Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
muse wrote:One of my weird talents is knowing how to eat spaghetti by sucking it through my nose.
I've always wanted to do that in the middle of a business lunch or meeting.
How in the holy howling hell does one ever even discover that that is possible?!
Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
It´s not too hard. You can do that with condoms, too.Chardok wrote:muse wrote:One of my weird talents is knowing how to eat spaghetti by sucking it through my nose.
I've always wanted to do that in the middle of a business lunch or meeting.
How in the holy howling hell does one ever even discover that that is possible?!
Evidence
Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
Summer camp. I'm convinced the camp counsellor who taught us that trick was a frat boy, he sure looked the part. Just don't try it with spicy spaghetti sauce cause that's like getting pepper sprayed, from the inside.Chardok wrote:How in the holy howling hell does one ever even discover that that is possible?!
ø¤ º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
I like Celine Dion myself. Her ballads alone....they make me go all teary-eyed and shit.
- Havok
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
I like Celine Dion myself. Her ballads alone....they make me go all teary-eyed and shit.
- Havok
- Gandalf
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
More singing of musical numbers as I get about.
More wearing of my lime green suit and bright red shirt.
Farts: Anywhere. Anytime.
Testing video store clerks as to their film knowledge. Just bringing up the comparative works of Mr T and Dolph Lundgren isn't enough.
More wearing of my lime green suit and bright red shirt.
Farts: Anywhere. Anytime.
Testing video store clerks as to their film knowledge. Just bringing up the comparative works of Mr T and Dolph Lundgren isn't enough.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
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"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
Walking through a foreign city, talking in a really exaggerated version of the locals' accent. It was brilliant fun in Glasgow, but I haven't dared do it anywhere else. People look at you funny.
- Alyrium Denryle
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
Bust out into the soviet or east german national anthems for shits... I am not normally allowed to do things like that. What else... oh yeah, Nazi jokes and Frog Calls. I also have this twisted fascination with how Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy had offspring for The Muppet Christmas Carol. But no one ever wants to discuss the matter. Too disturbing.
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There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
Factio republicanum delenda est
BOTM/Great Dolphin Conspiracy/
Entomology and Evolutionary Biology Subdirector:SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
Factio republicanum delenda est
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
I've always had an incessant need to dropkick people at the most random time.
I also wanted a tiny cat to name Fletch and carry it around with me everywhere, mainly on my head, when I'm not playing with it of course.
I also wanted a tiny cat to name Fletch and carry it around with me everywhere, mainly on my head, when I'm not playing with it of course.
Get some
- TithonusSyndrome
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
Instant mosh pit on command, anywhere, at any time, replete with disembodied soundtrack.
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
When I'm bored on the train, I try to figure out how much room I'd need to do various pro-wrestling moves to someone. No one specific, just a faceless robot that would know not to sandbag shit. Most everything that begins with a vertical suplex is right out, because their feet/legs would smack into the ceiling of the train. Something flashy like a Tiger Suplex or a Dragon Suplex could work, because you don't create a ton of height when doing them.
Yeah, sometimes I get reeaaaaallly bored on the train.
Yeah, sometimes I get reeaaaaallly bored on the train.
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance--that principle is contempt prior to investigation." -Herbert Spencer
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." - Schiller, Die Jungfrau von Orleans, III vi.
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." - Schiller, Die Jungfrau von Orleans, III vi.
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
I call shenanigans sir! As a regular visitor to Glasgow I know it is impossible to exaggerate the Glaswegian accent any more than the locals already do. It's a can of Carlsberg Special Brew from being a different language.Bounty wrote:Walking through a foreign city, talking in a really exaggerated version of the locals' accent. It was brilliant fun in Glasgow, but I haven't dared do it anywhere else. People look at you funny.
RIP Yosemite Bear
Gone, Never Forgotten
Gone, Never Forgotten
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
I second that. I can't do a proper Glaswegian accent and I live there.
"So you want to live on a planet?"
"No. I think I'd find it a bit small and wierd."
"Aren't they dangerous? Don't they get hit by stuff?"
"No. I think I'd find it a bit small and wierd."
"Aren't they dangerous? Don't they get hit by stuff?"
Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
My dad walked into a meeting late doing the Monty Python Silly walk.
- Dark Flame
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
We just had this discussion in my dorm room. One of my roommate's friends once walked into some sort of study session dripping wet, with just a towel on, then ripped it off and yelled "Is this INAPPROPRIATE?"
I want to do that.
I want to do that.
"Have you ever been fucked in the ass? because if you have you will understand why we have that philosophy"
- Alyrium Denryle, on HAB's policy of "Too much is almost enough"
"The jacketed ones are, but we're talking carefully-placed shits here. "-out of context, by Stuart
- Alyrium Denryle, on HAB's policy of "Too much is almost enough"
"The jacketed ones are, but we're talking carefully-placed shits here. "-out of context, by Stuart
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
I want a full size working BaneBlade.
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
I used to do that with my friends every once in a while, sans disembodied soundtrack, of course.TithonusSyndrome wrote:Instant mosh pit on command, anywhere, at any time, replete with disembodied soundtrack.
The simplest solution takes the shortest time to write down.
"My homies!" - Shatner
"The women!!" - Spock
"He's no better than Shatner!" - Phil Hartman as Bill Clinton re: Leonard Nimoy
-cinemaphotography-
"My homies!" - Shatner
"The women!!" - Spock
"He's no better than Shatner!" - Phil Hartman as Bill Clinton re: Leonard Nimoy
-cinemaphotography-
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
At a meeting today, I *really* wanted to do an "I-told-you-so":
"You know, our customers wouldn't be impacted by our half-running, half-failing production system, and the Colonel wouldn't be going ballistic at us, if they did not choose to preemptively and completely shut me out of the production system merely in such a prejudiced manner, thus relegating your most competent application builder to the sidelines right before a critical releae."
But unfortunately, the people to whom this would have been directed to were not present at the meeting, and this would have been wholly unprofessional, probably to the point of it being my last week there.
Side story: I have been quite screwed by the complex bureaucracy that deals with security clearances and public trust clearances for reasons beyond my control. Due to the way the system is structured, I can do essentially nothing about this myself, but I'm currently at the mercy of employers and the DoD, as they are the only ones that can do anything about this. And for the time being, I cannot afford an attorney that deals with clearance-related issues. This combination is almost like a death-sentence in the D.C. IT job market.
"You know, our customers wouldn't be impacted by our half-running, half-failing production system, and the Colonel wouldn't be going ballistic at us, if they did not choose to preemptively and completely shut me out of the production system merely in such a prejudiced manner, thus relegating your most competent application builder to the sidelines right before a critical releae."
But unfortunately, the people to whom this would have been directed to were not present at the meeting, and this would have been wholly unprofessional, probably to the point of it being my last week there.
Side story: I have been quite screwed by the complex bureaucracy that deals with security clearances and public trust clearances for reasons beyond my control. Due to the way the system is structured, I can do essentially nothing about this myself, but I'm currently at the mercy of employers and the DoD, as they are the only ones that can do anything about this. And for the time being, I cannot afford an attorney that deals with clearance-related issues. This combination is almost like a death-sentence in the D.C. IT job market.
-Luke
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
Oh, I don't mean with just my friends, that's almost inevitable if you've got enough people in one place who all live, breathe, eat and sleep the lifestyle. I mean with everyone present, like punching in the civilian riot code in GTA, except it'd be benign violence.Akumz Razor wrote:I used to do that with my friends every once in a while, sans disembodied soundtrack, of course.TithonusSyndrome wrote:Instant mosh pit on command, anywhere, at any time, replete with disembodied soundtrack.
Think of it as a contemporary heavy metal interpretation of old Laurel and Hardy pie fights where people would produce pies from out of nowhere and start creaming each other.
Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
Everything is a different language after a can of trampjuice.Lord Pounder wrote: It's a can of Carlsberg Special Brew from being a different language.
Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
Silly things I want to do?
Run for election?
Run for election?
Humans are such funny creatures. We are selfish about selflessness, yet we can love something so much that we can hate something.
- Dalton
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
It appears that the Imp of the Perverse is quite prolific here.
Me? Streaking.
Me? Streaking.
To Absent Friends
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mod you so hard, you'll wish I were Dalton." - Lagmonster
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- TrailerParkJawa
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Re: Silly things you want to do, but can't
Whenever I'm at a wedding I get this really irrational urge vocally object to the marriage during the vows. I don't know why. But I wanna scream "dont do it" even though I actually like the couple.
As for work, there are times when I just want to hang up on a customer or tell them "you know...i dont care...christ can't you work on your acccent?"
As for work, there are times when I just want to hang up on a customer or tell them "you know...i dont care...christ can't you work on your acccent?"
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