Silly things you want to do, but can't

[aerius]

Today I was in a meeting where some union guy was putting us all to sleep, I was probably only a few minutes away from putting on my sunglasses and going to sleep. Anyway, in the middle of all this someone let loose with a massive fart and I'm pretty sure everyone in the room heard it, quite a few people looked around at each other and then went back to pretending to pay attention to the speaker while trying not to nod off. That's when I was thinking man, the next time I get stuck in one of these meetings I should really let one rip and then scream "oh god I crapped my pants!!" while running for the door and knocking chairs over and stuff.

But I can't do that, since I have to be professional and all that.

[Setzer]

Once, when my ship was doing karaoke night, I had the urge to sing "Sweet Transvestite" from the Rocky Horror Picture show, with the costume and everything.

[The Grim Squeaker]

Acts of Violence, jumping up and shouting/screaming in the middle of a crowded room or lecture, arguing or shouting out incorrect points in lectures by (senior and very important people), thinking of ripping my shirt off and running out of the room, etc'.
Quite regularly.

[muse]

One of my weird talents is knowing how to eat spaghetti by sucking it through my nose.
I've always wanted to do that in the middle of a business lunch or meeting.

[Chardok]

One of my weird talents is knowing how to eat spaghetti by sucking it through my nose.
I've always wanted to do that in the middle of a business lunch or meeting.

How in the holy howling hell does one ever even discover that that is possible?!

[salm]

One of my weird talents is knowing how to eat spaghetti by sucking it through my nose.
I've always wanted to do that in the middle of a business lunch or meeting.

How in the holy howling hell does one ever even discover that that is possible?!

It´s not too hard. You can do that with condoms, too.

Evidence

[muse]

How in the holy howling hell does one ever even discover that that is possible?!

Summer camp. I'm convinced the camp counsellor who taught us that trick was a frat boy, he sure looked the part. Just don't try it with spicy spaghetti sauce cause that's like getting pepper sprayed, from the inside.

[Gandalf]

More singing of musical numbers as I get about.

More wearing of my lime green suit and bright red shirt.

Farts: Anywhere. Anytime.

Testing video store clerks as to their film knowledge. Just bringing up the comparative works of Mr T and Dolph Lundgren isn't enough.

[Bounty]

Walking through a foreign city, talking in a really exaggerated version of the locals' accent. It was brilliant fun in Glasgow, but I haven't dared do it anywhere else. People look at you funny.

[Alyrium Denryle]

Bust out into the soviet or east german national anthems for shits... I am not normally allowed to do things like that. What else... oh yeah, Nazi jokes and Frog Calls. I also have this twisted fascination with how Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy had offspring for The Muppet Christmas Carol. But no one ever wants to discuss the matter. Too disturbing.

[Schuyler Colfax]

I've always had an incessant need to dropkick people at the most random time.
I also wanted a tiny cat to name Fletch and carry it around with me everywhere, mainly on my head, when I'm not playing with it of course.

[TithonusSyndrome]

Instant mosh pit on command, anywhere, at any time, replete with disembodied soundtrack.

[Alferd Packer]

When I'm bored on the train, I try to figure out how much room I'd need to do various pro-wrestling moves to someone. No one specific, just a faceless robot that would know not to sandbag shit. Most everything that begins with a vertical suplex is right out, because their feet/legs would smack into the ceiling of the train. Something flashy like a Tiger Suplex or a Dragon Suplex could work, because you don't create a ton of height when doing them.

Yeah, sometimes I get reeaaaaallly bored on the train.

[Lord Pounder]

Walking through a foreign city, talking in a really exaggerated version of the locals' accent. It was brilliant fun in Glasgow, but I haven't dared do it anywhere else. People look at you funny.

I call shenanigans sir! As a regular visitor to Glasgow I know it is impossible to exaggerate the Glaswegian accent any more than the locals already do. It's a can of Carlsberg Special Brew from being a different language.

[andrewgpaul]

I second that. I can't do a proper Glaswegian accent and I live there.

[Ekiqa]

My dad walked into a meeting late doing the Monty Python Silly walk.

[Dark Flame]

We just had this discussion in my dorm room. One of my roommate's friends once walked into some sort of study session dripping wet, with just a towel on, then ripped it off and yelled "Is this INAPPROPRIATE?"

I want to do that.

[Master of Cards]

I want a full size working BaneBlade.

[Akumz Razor]

Instant mosh pit on command, anywhere, at any time, replete with disembodied soundtrack.

I used to do that with my friends every once in a while, sans disembodied soundtrack, of course.

[lukexcom]

At a meeting today, I *really* wanted to do an "I-told-you-so":

"You know, our customers wouldn't be impacted by our half-running, half-failing production system, and the Colonel wouldn't be going ballistic at us, if they did not choose to preemptively and completely shut me out of the production system merely in such a prejudiced manner, thus relegating your most competent application builder to the sidelines right before a critical releae."

But unfortunately, the people to whom this would have been directed to were not present at the meeting, and this would have been wholly unprofessional, probably to the point of it being my last week there.

Side story: I have been quite screwed by the complex bureaucracy that deals with security clearances and public trust clearances for reasons beyond my control. Due to the way the system is structured, I can do essentially nothing about this myself, but I'm currently at the mercy of employers and the DoD, as they are the only ones that can do anything about this. And for the time being, I cannot afford an attorney that deals with clearance-related issues. This combination is almost like a death-sentence in the D.C. IT job market.

[TithonusSyndrome]

Instant mosh pit on command, anywhere, at any time, replete with disembodied soundtrack.

I used to do that with my friends every once in a while, sans disembodied soundtrack, of course.

Oh, I don't mean with just my friends, that's almost inevitable if you've got enough people in one place who all live, breathe, eat and sleep the lifestyle. I mean with everyone present, like punching in the civilian riot code in GTA, except it'd be benign violence.

Think of it as a contemporary heavy metal interpretation of old Laurel and Hardy pie fights where people would produce pies from out of nowhere and start creaming each other.

[Vendetta]

It's a can of Carlsberg Special Brew from being a different language.

Everything is a different language after a can of trampjuice.

[ray245]

Silly things I want to do?
Run for election?

[Dalton]

It appears that the Imp of the Perverse is quite prolific here.

Me? Streaking.

[TrailerParkJawa]

Whenever I'm at a wedding I get this really irrational urge vocally object to the marriage during the vows. I don't know why. But I wanna scream "dont do it" even though I actually like the couple.

As for work, there are times when I just want to hang up on a customer or tell them "you know...i dont care...christ can't you work on your acccent?"