Deadliest Warrior has finally become what it was meant to be

Kingmaker · Post by **Kingmaker** » 2011-07-22 09:06pm

I'd completely forgotten about this show until I was reminded of it earlier today. As I am sure many of you know, this show is an utterly farcical attempt at analyzing the comparative fighting styles of two historical fighters in order to see who would come out on top.

Fortunately, they have abandon this approach.

Yes, Napoleon vs Washington.

Other upcoming matches:
Saddam Hussein vs Pol Pot
T.E. Lawrence vs Teddy Roosevelt
Ivan the Terrible vs Hernan Cortes
Vampires vs Zombies
and more...

I may have to start watching this show again, just for the sheer absurdity of it.

The Romulan Republic · Post by **The Romulan Republic** » 2011-07-22 09:48pm

Somehow I doubt Washington could have beat Napoleon as a tactician.

As for a duel, I have no idea, though the idea is amusing.

I do want to see Vampires vs Zombies.

Purple · Post by **Purple** » 2011-07-22 09:55pm

I can't wait for my favorite comrade to get his turn. Sure he was not nice all the time. But he only killed the mean people. *wink*
Seriously thou, Pol takes it by a wide margin. He actually has combat experience. Has Saddam ever fired a shot in anger?

Lord Zentei · Post by **Lord Zentei** » 2011-07-22 10:18pm

Um, how do they decide who wins in these battles?

BTW: Napoleon was the superior general, IMHO.

Kingmaker · Post by **Kingmaker** » 2011-07-22 10:54pm

In a head to head clash, Napoleon, clearly. But I don't really feel like comparing the two of them as generals is really legitimate, considering the difference of circumstances.

I think Washington would win in hand to hand combat, though.

But seriously, Lawrence of Arabia vs Teddy Roosevelt? Pol Pot vs Saddam Hussein? Whoever thinks up these matches deserves a raise.

spaceviking · Post by **spaceviking** » 2011-07-22 11:28pm

Unfortunately I saw the George Washington battle. For some reason they include factors like tactics and logistics. This would be fine, except they base their information off battles where combatants numbered in the tens of thousands to a five on five match.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2011-07-22 11:44pm

Purple wrote: Seriously thou, Pol takes it by a wide margin. He actually has combat experience. Has Saddam ever fired a shot in anger?

Yes he took part in the attempt to assassinate dictator Abd al-Karim Qasim in 1959. Saddam and five other people filled the guys car with bullets but only wounded, then escaped out of Baghdad. Saddam later had a rather glamorized Bond style movie made about it all, masking the fact that basically they did a totally inept job and Qasim should have been slaughtered. But its not really Saddam's fault, none of the guys involved had any training for the mission despite some back door CIA and Egyptian backing.

Post by **weemadando** » 2011-07-23 12:44am

That episode was fucking rotten.

I mean, as soon as they said: "vs George Washington", we know who was going to win.

Plus the logic of some of their choices: "Here's a battle where we show off Washington's expertise, whereby hte French completed trapped a British force and let him finish them off. That's far more impressive than any of Napoleon's stuff." FFFFFUUUUUUU

And then the final battle sequence. Where Napoleon knocks Washington off his horse and then dismounts himself to duel him one on one? How about just ride past with your cavalry sabre again? STAGE YOUR BATTLES BETTER.

At least it was better than the SWAT v GSG9 one, where for all the tests it was: "Here's a bunch of actual SWAT officers, and here's a guy who was a German army conscript."

Enigma · Post by **Enigma** » 2011-07-23 01:43am

In order.

George Washington vs. Napoleon
Joan of Arc vs. William the Conqueror
U.S. Army Rangers vs. North Korean Special Operation Force
Genghis Khan vs. Hannibal
Saddam Hussein vs. Pol Pot
Lawrence of Arabia vs. Theodore Roosevelt
Ivan the Terrible vs. Hernán Cortés
Crazy Horse vs. Pancho Villa
French Foreign Legion vs. Gurkha
Vampires vs. Zombies

Post by **weemadando** » 2011-07-23 01:51am

My predictions:

William
USA USA USA
Ghengis
Saddam
Teddy
Hernan
Crazy Horse
Gurkha
Vampires

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2011-07-23 01:59am

Vampires vs zombies. If the vampire bites the zombie, wouldn't it become a vampire zombie and thus the zombies will win?

Wouldn't the same be true of the reverse...

Post by **weemadando** » 2011-07-23 02:08am

I want to know what mythologies they're using for that matchup.

Twilight, Ann Rice, WoD, Bram Stoker?

Romero, Brooks, 28DL?

Kingmaker · Post by **Kingmaker** » 2011-07-23 02:15am

Well, they have Max Brooks signed on as the zombie expert, I believe.

Post by **weemadando** » 2011-07-23 02:26am

Well, Zombies will win then. After all, we all know that NOTHING can stand before Brooks zombies.

Thanas · Post by **Thanas** » 2011-07-23 03:06am

Kingmaker wrote:Yes, Napoleon vs Washington.

Pfft. Napoleon vs a guy who was outmaneuvered by not-so-special British generals?

hongi · Post by **hongi** » 2011-07-23 03:38am

George Washington vs. Napoleon
Joan of Arc vs. William the Conqueror
U.S. Army Rangers vs. North Korean Special Operation Force
Genghis Khan vs. Hannibal
Saddam Hussein vs. Pol Pot
Lawrence of Arabia vs. Theodore Roosevelt
Ivan the Terrible vs. Hernán Cortés
Crazy Horse vs. Pancho Villa
French Foreign Legion vs. Gurkha
Vampires vs. Zombies

What is wrong with them? Where is Stalin vs Hitler?

Kingmaker · Post by **Kingmaker** » 2011-07-23 03:39am

Pfft. Napoleon vs a guy who was outmaneuvered by not-so-special British generals?

You misunderstand me. I don't think Washington was a superior or even comparable battlefield commander to Napoleon. I don't care about comparing them as generals at all, really.

I just think it's hilarious that somebody said "You know what? We should have George Washington fucking fight Napoleon Bonaparte. Not have their armies fight--the two of them having it out hand to hand. Oh, and throw in a few guys on either side sniping each other with cannons."

Teddy vs Lawrence is going to be idiotic awesome, and I'm honestly curious as to how the fuck they're going to do Pol Pot vs Saddam Hussein.

Washington would totally win in a sword fight

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2011-07-23 06:19am

hongi wrote: What is wrong with them? Where is Stalin vs Hitler?

Already done, there was a little show called World War 2 that covered it.

Metahive · Post by **Metahive** » 2011-07-23 07:22am

I think he meant them two facing off each other in a duel.

As for this "new" direction of the show, I wonder if they truly think that generals like Napoleon gained renown because they knew awesome kungfu or if they're doing that just for the lulz. I mean they already delivered retarded whoppers like Sun Tzu vs Vlad Tsepesh III or Attila vs Alexander the Great. They're mixing up human history of warfare with Dragonball Z I guess.

Post by **weemadando** » 2011-07-23 07:30am

Its also the requisite USA USA USA crap.

After all, you have to contrive a situation where Saint Washington the deified can win against the bloodthirsty midget surrender monkey.

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2011-07-23 07:33am

This just in. Stupid show is stupid.

You'll lose sleep over it if you try to take this shit seriously. I mean come on, zombies vs vampires? Everyone knows vampires can just fly away.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2011-07-23 07:47am

hongi wrote:
George Washington vs. Napoleon
Joan of Arc vs. William the Conqueror
U.S. Army Rangers vs. North Korean Special Operation Force
Genghis Khan vs. Hannibal
Saddam Hussein vs. Pol Pot
Lawrence of Arabia vs. Theodore Roosevelt
Ivan the Terrible vs. Hernán Cortés
Crazy Horse vs. Pancho Villa
French Foreign Legion vs. Gurkha
Vampires vs. Zombies
What is wrong with them? Where is Stalin vs Hitler?

We already know that one, though.

Ralin · Post by **Ralin** » 2011-07-23 08:17am

hongi wrote:
What is wrong with them? Where is Stalin vs Hitler?
We already know that one, though.

Indeed.

Themightytom · Post by **Themightytom** » 2011-07-23 10:55am

The entire show is garrbage, pirate versus knight? They gave the pirate like five pistols, after establishing that the shot wouldn't even dent the armor, they created a contrived situation where the knight fell over and the pirate opened his face plate. The episodes with the Samurai, Yakuza and Ninja they used zero hand to hand skills, and the episode with the IRA they let the IRA advance on the taliban with a fricking flame thrower after saying it would be incredibly unlikely to happen. Virtually every match no matter how lop sided it would appear is levelled to become "one of the closest matches we've ever seen here on the show" in order to provide a suspenseful climax to each episode.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2011-07-23 11:12am

mind you some of those meshups don't take into account tech differences.
I mean Villa had machine guns, however Crazyhorse did sucessfully blacken USA's eye at a point, Villa's raids on Arizonia and Southern California were disasters.

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Deadliest Warrior has finally become what it was meant to be

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