StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Patient wife: Hey, I know you're busy, but if you could help me (.................................)
Me:(After questioning and advice), ok, I really need for the patient to return from dialysis before I can do anything because I need his file.
Wife: Would you still be here?
Me: No, but I pass it on and you have my full cooperation.


Forward 5 hours later
Wife: Hey, I thought you went back home already?
Me: Maam, I wish I was...........


There are way too many days when I eat my 'breakfast'/lunch during my colleague dinner break........

I must've looked especially rapey this weekend, because I had both of these conversations:

Girl: This my friend! You take good care of her, I know [owner's son]!

Your Driver: Sure, no problem.

G: I mean it! You bring her home and make sure she gets there! I know [owner's son]. Do you know who I'm talking about?

YD: Yes, I know [owner's son]. He's a swell guy. Where are you going with this?

G: [tone becoming slightly frantic] I mean I know [owner's son]. He's a good friend of mine! So you just keep that in mind, okay!?

YD: So if I kidnap her, your response will be to call somebody who knows my employer rather than the cops? Good to know.

G: [poleaxed expression]

YD: [hits the gas]

~~~~~

Guy Who Desperately Wants To Fuck Girl But Currently Isn't: This is my girl, you get me!? She's gonna text me when she gets home! So you make sure she gets home okay, okay!?

Your Driver: That's what I do...

GWDWTFGBCI: I've got your cab number! [to her] Text me when you get home!

Girl: Okay, okay.

YD: So, where to?

Girl: [tells me an address, then immediately starts flirting casually and continues for the rest of the trip; passes out cold at one point; does not get raped; totally overpays me]

Cabbies have the best stories.

Dalton wrote:Cabbies have the best stories.

Didn't one of his passengers offer him an ounce of cocaine as a fare?

Borgholio wrote:

Dalton wrote:Cabbies have the best stories.

Didn't one of his passengers offer him an ounce of cocaine as a fare?

Man, I am in the wrong job...

Chimaera wrote:

Borgholio wrote:

Dalton wrote:Cabbies have the best stories.

Didn't one of his passengers offer him an ounce of cocaine as a fare?

Man, I am in the wrong job...

Half a gram (1/56 of an oz), actually (this is reported on the page previous to this one in this very same thread), and almost certainly not high enough quality to offset the annoyance of dealing with money that has blood literally, rather than just figuratively, on it.

Gas Station Guy: This money has blood on it.

Your Driver: Doesn't it all?

Not really a conversation per se, but a guy walked into the shop today.

Height/width ratio is roughly 1:1. Wearing a yellow safety vest, beat up jeans, white t-shirt, and a good amount of his last meal. As he walks in the door about 10 feet away from me I can smell an incredible stench of tobacco smoke, and whatever product he uses to cover the fact that he hasn't showered in awhile.

Apparently he was selling some kind of cleaning product...

WTF is it with these people who lay on the "honey", "dear", "sweetie", etc. endearments? My god, what is their problem? Had a lady in today who seemed to use these in place of normal English punctuation. Every goddamned sentence ended with something of the sort, with a couple more sprinkled in the middle. And the tone of her voice, goddamn, I am NOT a toddler!

Often as not when I hear "honey", "dear", "sweetie", etc. endearments from a stranger I suspect that they re sugar-coated "fuck you's" along the lines of the sweetly-delivered Southern "Well -bless- your heart!"

Whatever the reason, it makes me stabby. Lucky for the customers we need their money so I refrain from actual expressions of disgust and/or violence.

The things we do, for money...

So we're in the home stretch dressing and aging down this ship interior set for a new tv show. And I'm stalking the passageways taping up various graphics, warning, firefighting, stowage, etc stickers, and using a rag to clean the gunk offa some random chunk of bulkhead hardware so's as to stick more stickers, to it.

Painter: "Hey, I've got some alcohol."

Me: "No thanks, it's still a little early in the day, for me."

Sir, you walked in here speaking perfectly intelligible English American with better grammar than about a quarter of the native speakers we get here, why did your accent suddenly become thick as peanut butter when I mentioned there was tax on your purchase? Surely the concept of a "tax" is not known wherever you come from, and if you've been here long enough to acquire an Indiana driver's license (which I saw when you opened your wallet) you clearly are familiar with US style sales tax. I mean, you only run into it every-fucking-where.

Sorry, I am not convinced by your argument that the "other lady" should have informed you that were was tax on this purchase. First of all, all of us here are quick to mention that the price of anything here is X plus tax. Also, your item ticket clearly has written across the bottom the repair fee plus tax.

Do not getting pissy with me when I point out the concept of sales tax yet again. You don't want to be treated stupid then don't act stupid.

Finally, do not bullshit and quibble over $0.20 worth of sales/service tax for fifteen fucking minutes, demand to speak to the owner about it, whine about how unfair it all is, with progressively deteriorating English American skills and thickening accent, then pay for your $5.00 bill by unrolling a wad of $100 bills and demanding $94.80 in change.

Finally, for the next thing you want fixed, when we say it will be read "a week from tomorrow" do not get that happy look and repeat "Tomorrow? It be ready tomorrow?" when you know damn well that's not what we said. When you insist on continuing to misunderstand us do not get pissy when I pull the calendar off the wall to use as a visual aid. Again, if you don't want to be treated as stupid then don't act stupid.

What a fucking asshole.

If somebody tried to pull even a fraction of that shit at my old employers' he would have tossed them out and told them not to come back. If somebody tried even a fraction of that with us over the phone service, we'd just hang up on them and flag them as "Do not provide any service under any circumstances".

Yes, well, we do get some assholes. There seems to be a variety of person who seems to think that if you're behind a counter in a business you're a punching bag. They are often surprised that not only do my coworker and I call them out on their shit, but our boss also backs us up.

Sorry, this isn't a corporate-run big box store, we don't have to take that shit. Also, there are very few people offering our service left in the area so we don't have to kiss everyone's ass just to keep our heads above water. When they threaten to "go to the competition" we just say "good luck with that" because it will be a long drive and they'll get the same attitude with them.

We also had someone recently report us to the Better Business Bureau (BBB) - seems that the modification to a leather wallet she asked for didn't make her happy, she didn't want to pay for it, but she did want the item back. The boss said whether she was happy or not with the result we did the work as she requested, did a further modification at no additional charge in an attempt to make her happy, and we don't work for free. Until she paid her bill she didn't get the wallet back. She was outraged. We're talking red in the face, veins throbbing in her forehead angry. How dare we ask for payment, she wasn't satisfied! Give her her wallet, and she wasn't going to pay us anything, we were horrible people, how (here's her big gun) UNCHRISTIAN of us! Well, the two Christians in the room just blinked at her, totally unmoved, the non-Christian didn't give a fuck, and no one handed her her wallet. The boss told her that failure to pay for work done was theft of services and if she didn't leave the store he'd call the police and have her arrested for it. She did wind up contacting the BBB... who's determination was that we had made a good faith effort to solve the problem and we still kept our "A" rating.

Anyone want a leather wallet? Her 30 days to claim it have passed so we can do what we want with it.

The other thing getting my goat lately are the folks who seem to think they can get involved and difficult repairs done for just a dollar or two. Hey, this isn't the 19th Century, which is the last time that sort of thing cost just a dollar. Don't try to bargain us down - if the repair costs more than you think it's worth don't get the repair, we don't care. Invariably, when someone is trying to do that there's a line of people behind them happy to pay our rates. Don't tell me it was a quarter when you were a boy, don't tell me you can get it done for $0.50 in Nigeria - we charge the rates we do because that's what enables us to stay in business and put food on our tables.

Use the wallet as target practice and frame the remains before hanging it up at the shop.

"When I was a boy -in- Nigeria I coulda got that done for $0.25"

Kanastrous wrote:"When I was a boy -in- Nigeria I coulda got that done for $0.25"

People tend to omit that "back then", or "in Nigeria", those 25c were a day's wage... Selective alzheimer - we only forget what we don't want to remember.

Usually the first thing people elect to forget is that they have the Selective Alzheimer's, to begin with.

Dear customers:

FUCKING BUY SHOES THAT ACTUALLY FIT YOUR FEET!!!!

Goddamn, what is so hard about this? Can you physically fit your appendage into the shoe? No? Then don't fucking buy it! Holy fuck, who buys shoes they literally can't even get into? Apparently, this is a non-zero fraction of the population, who then come into our shop and demand us fix this "problem". Well.... I can't make a size 5 into a size 8, and I'm not allowed to carve off bits of your foot, so.... No, I can't do it. Yes, you just heard me say "no".

Shoes too big? Can't fix that either. Nope, can't make a size 8 into a size 5. Sucks to be you.

2:00am on a Saturday:

Chad #1: Hey, that's my roomate driving that jeep in front of us! He must be going back to our place. Can I just pay you and jump out at the next light so I can get in his car?

Your Driver: Are you sure that's a good idea? He's coming from downtown at last call; he's probably wasted.

C#1: What? No way, man! My roomate is the most-

Chad #2: [abruptly veers off about 50' in front of us for no apparent reason and rams the building to the right at a flawlessly-perpendicular angle]

YD: I'll take that bet.

Your busiest night of the year is nigh. I'm looking forward to the recap.

tim31 wrote:Your busiest night of the year is nigh. I'm looking forward to the recap.

December 31st still hasn't killed me yet! It was actually a pretty sedate year, sorry to disappoint. I have so many regulars now that I mostly just drove them all night. The one funny/weird trip was the random guy I picked up on Colfax who tried to get me to take him way out to southeast bumfuck Aurora in exchange for his allegedly-beautiful sister. I think temporarily, but his English was a little iffy so I'm not 100% on that.

I replaced the label roll in my label-maker, and suddenly it wasn't working anymore. So I called Phil, our office techie, and told him what happened, and that my computer wasn't even showing the LabelMaker as an option under "Printers and Devices" now.

So Phil comes over and starts looking around, as I walk away to give him a bit of room (the cubes are small, and he is large). I come back a couple minutes later, and he is cursing because he can't close windows, open windows, or make anything happen to them. I tak a quick look at his hand.

"Phil, are you Right-Clicking? It's a Lefthanded Mouse."
"THAT Explains It!"

So today one of my clients comes with the case I have been waiting for since I got into lawschool. A medical cover-up.

Yet the case has gone to shit because the moron decided to listen to his 16 year old common-law wife. A 16 year old who just lost her fucking baby tells you she does not want an autopsy and you, a 30 year old man listens to her?

And then she thanks the doctor on Facebook, and says she wants to him to deliver her possible future babies...

Sorry for rambling, but I just lost a lot of money and a doctor got away with murder...