Bruce Willis vs... Bruce Willis?!

[Bob the Gunslinger]

At least you didn't mention Chuck Norris...

Does Korban Dallas even get hurt at all in The 5th Element? If not, isn't he then the anti-John McLane?

[Havok]

I just watched The 5th Element at lunch, well at least part of it. He gets his clothes messed up and that's about it. I'm sure he has some ear damage from listening to Ruby Rod though.

McClane takes it though. He has shown that he can work alone or with help, where Dallas has only shown he can win with help.

[Lusankya]

Isn't Ruby Rod "anti-help" or something, though? winning with anti-help is even tougher than winning with help.

[Gandalf]

I gave it to the Jackal. His best ability is disguise himself as someone else not involved in the combat, and then just pick his moment to get the last one standing.

I see we aren't going to include Harry Stamper and his skill with a big wrench..

Or that thing he uses to strangle William Fichtner.

Though I dare say the power of Willis in Armageddon was based on awesome ensemble power, thus it is inadmissible here.

[Havok]

Oh gawd Armageddon makes me cry every time.

[Gandalf]

Oh gawd Armageddon makes me cry every time.

Powerful bromantic performances. Even Ben Affleck couldn't wuss it up.

[wautd]

Damn, in retrospect giving Dallas an annoying and noisy Ruby Rod would have made a good weakness when writing the OP. The Jackal would have had a field day since everyone will hear them coming from miles away.

Isn't Ruby Rod "anti-help" or something, though? winning with anti-help is even tougher than winning with help.

Speaking of anti-help, funniest part of the movie at 4:00 to 4:50

[Shroom Man 777]

Isn't Ruby Rod "anti-help" or something, though? winning with anti-help is even tougher than winning with help.

But he also gets supersexy superhuman zombie-killing machine Milla Jovovich tagging along, so it evens out. I mean, man, her nipples!

[Sam Or I]

I would say that Dallas would most likely win.

But an honorable mention would be John Hartigan from Sin City. Maybe a little older, and he has a bad ticker, he makes up for it in pure will power. Plus I would hate to be the guy that looses to him.

[Themightytom]

Damn, in retrospect giving Dallas an annoying and noisy Ruby Rod would have made a good weakness when writing the OP. The Jackal would have had a field day since everyone will hear them coming from miles away.

Isn't Ruby Rod "anti-help" or something, though? winning with anti-help is even tougher than winning with help.

Speaking of anti-help, funniest part of the movie at 4:00 to 4:50

I'm a fan of 5:17 to 5:36

[Lusankya]

Isn't Ruby Rod "anti-help" or something, though? winning with anti-help is even tougher than winning with help.

But he also gets supersexy superhuman zombie-killing machine Milla Jovovich tagging along, so it evens out. I mean, man, her nipples!

But they're in completely different parts of the ship. And Korban is standing at the end while Leeloo isn't. Think about that: he can outlast a perfect being and the most powerful weapon in the universe.

[Shroom Man 777]

Lusy-chan!

I think having anti-help really isn't much of an anti-help though, since being with the comedic sidekick character practically assures your survival. John McClane didn't have such an advantage!

[Lusankya]

Look, dude. We have to judge their capabilities by what we see on screen, and not by any out of universe knowledge or genre savviness that. This Bruce vs Bruce competition is serious business, and we can't just go around breaking SoD. That would just be wrong and against everything this site stands for.

[Shroom Man 777]

Then I would say Korben Dallas wins in a real big gunfight. He could kill all those Germans in, like, a split second.

But John McClane is a way bigger asshole though.

(Seriously, Korben Dallas is like just some average joe who happens to be a former superspecial forces asskicking commando. But John McClane is a complete asshole.)

[weemadando]

In the complete arsehole stakes McLane has few rivals. In fact, is there a bigger arsehole hero than him in cinema?

[Shroom Man 777]

John Matrix, from Commando?

[weemadando]

Not even close. Though I will re-watch Commando tonight (it's on TV - right after Octopussy) just to be sure.

[Shroom Man 777]

Wrong. The whole movie is just an exercise of John Matrix being an asshole. I mean, shit, he's not even threatened or in emotional distraughtness over the desperation of the situation or his marital status and thus obviously using assholery as a coping mechanism for his disgruntledness, unlike John McClane who's just fucking around breaking people's necks and throwing them off cliffs and making one-liner quips while impaling people with steampipes just for the hell of it.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Wrong. The whole movie is just an exercise of John Matrix being an asshole. I mean, shit, he's not even threatened or in emotional distraughtness over the desperation of the situation or his marital status and thus obviously using assholery as a coping mechanism for his disgruntledness, unlike John McClane who's just fucking around breaking people's necks and throwing them off cliffs and making one-liner quips while impaling people with steampipes just for the hell of it.

I don't know about you, but to me all the hero characters played by Steven Seagal appeared like really arrogant assholes. It was not so much what they did or even said, but Seagal's style and mannerisms make them look like complete shitheads.

[Shroom Man 777]

That's just Steven Seagal.

[loomer]

I voted for David Addison! He'll just fucking cheese the others to death!

[Ford Prefect]

Anyone remember the list of weapons and vehicles that General Munro said Korben Dallas was an expert in? It was five feet long.

[Shroom Man 777]

It looks like John McClane had a lot of time to practice, before he changed his name.

[Lusankya]

It looks like John McClane had a lot of time to practice, before he changed his name.

To put this into context for people who weren't privy to Shroom and my conversation, this is based on our discovery that Korban Dallas is John McClaine, just a long time into the future when he was still too hardcore to die.

This was based on an Incredibly ScientificTM investigation of Die Hard and The Fifth Element, whereupon it was discovered that both men have the same trick of taping a gun to their back and then whipping it out and shooting the guy with the hostage just when they least expect it, because they think McClaine/Dallas is unarmed. Clearly these two fine gentlemangs are one and the same!

[Shroom Man 777]

LUSY-CHAAAAAN makes the most astute observations! I actually have The Fifth Element, in the form of an ancient VCD! I should watch it again!