My new favorite "Intelligent Design" arguments

[Shenlong_Mizuno]

I found this little gen on a politics board I sometimes frequent:

There has indeed been much scientific study in proving Creationism. By Christian scientists. They have been busily proving Evolution wrong, which is a large reason why it's believed much less than it was after Darwin's theory was widely accepted.

Intelligent Design.

D'oh. Look around you. Of course!

I take you to my favorite example. Saying the Earth happened due to pure chance is like saying you can put a bunch of disassembled watch parts in a box, shake it around, open the box, voila! A watch lies shining inside, perfectly assembled, without your hands touching it.

Have you seen the ABSURD theories on the evolution of the giraffe?

Oh yeah, there was a medium-length neck somewhere in history... They were eating medium-sized tree leaves... *SNORTS* I don't think so.

Uhh, why did they evolve long necks? So they could reach the treetops! Uhhuh. And then millenia required to change from short to long? The necessity of a powerful heart that pumps all the way up the neck into the brain? The internal compensators inside the head? The same amount of bones in the neck of a giraffe as inside a rat? The way a giraffe is born?

Riight. Chance. Natural selection. Suure.

I'll believe it when I see it.

Another question:

If humans evolved from apes, then what did apes evolve from? Monkeys? And them? What about them? And them?

Are you going to go back to the (disproved!) theory that life is created from chemicals? The primordial soup?

==========

I turn your attention to Mt. St. Helena in Oregon. (Sorry, it's 1am and my memory's shot... I could be wrong about name and location. But it's the volcano that blew a big hole in the side and laid waste to lots of forestry. Actually, if I weren't too lazy, I have a book titled Volcano that describes the events in timeline rather well.)

Anyways... This eruption disproved the theory of the layered cake. Layers of rock of various types were stacked in mere hours. Evolutionists claim millenia, that they represent Eras. Uhh.. nope. Sorry to burst your bubble. We've got a few eras made in a few hours. And it answers the vertical log dilemma too. Where fossils appeared in consecutive strata. If the layering occured in HORUS instead of MILLENIA, then it would be easily possible.

[Frank Hipper]

" If the layering occured in HORUS " Poor old Horus, must`ve hurt!

[Peregrin Toker]

If I encounter one of them, I just remind them of whales:

Marine creatures who must go to the surface to breathe.

However, intelligent-design people have thought up a new response to this, which is that God likes diversity.


Hmm...... does this mean that God also has to be a complete idiot??

The existence of whales are disproof of the existance of such thing as a god or goddess, end of story.

[Guest]

Reading those arguements i'm reminded of Bill Hicks. He was doing a joke once when he was talking about evolution, He looks at the guy and says
Bill - "ok so u believe that earth was build in 7 days and shit like that"
the Fundie - "well yeah"
Bill - "ok i got one question for you. It's a one word question"
Fundie - "go ahead"
Bill - "Dinosaurs"
Fundie - "GOD PUT THEM THERE TO TEST OUR FAITH"

Man how can i rationally debate with stupidity that huge

[Darth Wong]

I love the assholes who think that layers of volcanic ash are the same thing as layers of compacted limestone. Dumb-fucks.

[Alyeska]

I really love the stupid fundies who say "Dinosaurs are a scientific conspiracy in an attempt to prove that god doesn't exist!"

[Lagmonster]

I love the assholes who think that layers of volcanic ash are the same thing as layers of compacted limestone. Dumb-fucks.

Okay, someone needs to make a list of things we need to teach devout religious believers. So far, the list includes Geology, Physics, Chemistry, Biology (all in the generic set, there are many subsets they seem to need to learn, but they don't really know the basics much either), Sexual Behaviour, Literary Interpretation, Logic...what else?

[Mr Bean]

Critcial think skills or they won't learn a thing from these classes

[Evil Jerk]

In the end, it all amounts to:
"We can't understand evolution, geology, or anything like that, therefore our imaginary friend in the sky did it".

[Stravo]

When you look at these Fundies and think back to Medieval Europe where the fundie reigned supreme for centuries, you have to wonder, HOW did we get out of that morass of rigid unoriginal thinking. How did people like this give way to the Rennaisance and the birth of science? THANK GOD because if I were trapped in a world populated by morons like this I would HAVE to kill myself.

[Mr. Mister]

How 'bout we just shoot them? I mean, when a dog or any other animal becomes a threat to people, it gets put down. What's so special about creationists that they get to be different?

By their own argument, they aren't human. "Man created in God's image"? Well, if creationists count as human, God's a fucking moron.

[Lagmonster]

THANK GOD because if I were trapped in a world populated by morons like this I would HAVE to kill myself.

You are trapped in a world where the majority of people are stupid and depend on religion to dictate their actions. But don't kill yourself (if you have a fully loaded gun, a loud ignorant hostile fundie, and yourself locked in a room, you know what to do and how many times to do it).

[Evil Jerk]

What really gets me are those who say God created us perfectly and create a perfect world for us.
If humans are so perfect, why are we so weak, vunerable and capable of such stupidity?
If Earth is so perfect for us, why must we use technology make make the damn place livable? Why are there so many parts of it hostile to our life form?

Wait.. this is where creationists will mumble something about expulsion from paradise and atoning for the sins of some naked chick.

[Archaic`]

(if you have a fully loaded gun, a loud ignorant hostile fundie, and yourself locked in a room, you know what to do and how many times to do it).

Well.....assuming it's a male.....Pistol whip his crotch a number of times, shoot the lock, lie him down in the doorway so you can repeatedly slam the door into his throat (While continuing the pistol whipping of course), shooting him in non-vital but still painful locations whenever he falls unconcious from the pain until he finally dies from a combination of throat crushing, pain and bloodloss?

.......look, I was harassed all throughout my primary and high school like, okay? I had an active imagination on what I'd one day do to all those bastards. ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;


Seriously though....if there was so called "Intelligent Design".....with the complete lack of intelligence of the biblical god, it'd go a long way to explaining why humans are so generally screwed up. The only thing with less intelligence than a fundi would be the fictional character they believe in.

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

That guy was a joke! Even I could handle him!

He says "Then what did apes evolve from?" He demonstrates his scientific ignorance with a misconception of evolution here. There are transitional species between man and ape, and apes evolved from simpler species.

[Ryoga]

Fundamentalism: Giving stupid people a reason to exist since 1 A.D.!

Well, it could be worse. I once pulled that 'invisible friend in the sky' reference on a group of fundies picking on an atheist kid, and not only did they not get it, but they thought I was the idiot. Well, there's no accounting for brains...

[Darth Wong]

That guy was a joke! Even I could handle him!

He says "Then what did apes evolve from?"

Apes evolved from creatures like him. I do believe he is many steps behind homo sapiens on the evolutionary scale.

[Nick]

That guy was a joke! Even I could handle him!

He says "Then what did apes evolve from?" He demonstrates his scientific ignorance with a misconception of evolution here. There are transitional species between man and ape, and apes evolved from simpler species.

Sort of. . . humans, apes & monkeys all evolved from common ancestors - none of whom are alive today.

But yes, his complete misunderstanding of evolution by natural selection was rather pathetic.

[Nick]

Fundamentalism: Giving stupid people a reason to exist since 1 A.D.!

Hey, give Jehovah a bit of credit! It didn't all start with JC!

[Admiral Drason]

Reading those arguements i'm reminded of Bill Hicks. He was doing a joke once when he was talking about evolution, He looks at the guy and says
Bill - "ok so u believe that earth was build in 7 days and shit like that"
the Fundie - "well yeah"
Bill - "ok i got one question for you. It's a one word question"
Fundie - "go ahead"
Bill - "Dinosaurs"
Fundie - "GOD PUT THEM THERE TO TEST OUR FAITH"

Man how can i rationally debate with stupidity that huge

Jesus I had a Sunday school teacher tell me that very thing. im not joking its true.

[HemlockGrey]

I am reminded of the student in my math class who used the Bible to claim that pi = 3. I am also reminded of the math teacher shooting him down, and one of the LA teachers backing up the kid.

[Antediluvian]

I love the assholes who think that layers of volcanic ash are the same thing as layers of compacted limestone. Dumb-fucks.

Okay, someone needs to make a list of things we need to teach devout religious believers. So far, the list includes Geology, Physics, Chemistry, Biology (all in the generic set, there are many subsets they seem to need to learn, but they don't really know the basics much either), Sexual Behaviour, Literary Interpretation, Logic...what else?

We might want to teach them the scientific method too, and the fact that science isn't a religion.

Hell, let's begin with basic science and start from there.

[Colonel Olrik]

Taken from here

http://www.creationweb.org/viewtopic.ph ... c&start=15

Let's switch gears now to consider an example. I'm taking a Pseudoscience class right now, and the book was showing how the Biblical story about the Red Sea is entirely, "scientifically" possible. Scientists have shown how a sustained wind could literally part the sea in half, and make the sea floor dry. Well even if it was entirely possible, does that point away from ID? What about the timing of this event? A very, very large group of slaves have been promised freedom by a leader named Moses. After a week of miraculous signs, they are blocked from this promise by a body of water, while the entire Egyptian army closes in to enslave them again. Now an event occurs, which science has proven to be possible, but has never before been recorded throughout all of history. The parting of the Red Sea enables these slaves to cross the river unharmed, BUT only long enough so that the Egyptian army is drowned as their pursuit continues across the sea floor.

Even if an event is physically possible, DOES NOT mean it's nothing short of a miracle. The timing of such an event at the Red Sea was PERFECT. PERFECT. If this Biblical story were true, wouldn't that almost certainly point to ID?

Even if the ToE were possible, wouldn't it require an even greater miracle for the right DNA mutations to occur at the right time? Wouldn't this once again be pointing to ID?

PSEUDOSCIENCE CLASSES???????

[neoolong]

Why do people think that humans are so wonderfully "designed"? I mean, our eyesight sucks, we can't run very fast, we aren't that strong, and we have no natural way to deal with cold weather. The only thing we have is being somewhat smart, and even that doesn't help a lot of people. The way that human beings developed seems to go against intelligent design.

Also, cosmology should be added to the list of science classes. That way fundies will actually know how the Big Bang works and how it doesn't relate to evolution.

[Grand Admiral Thrawn]

Pseudoscience classes? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo