Heh, take that fundies.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2002-10-16 06:20pm

Astral, that's so sad. I'm sorry you can't acknowledge orgasms.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-10-16 06:35pm

Jadeite wrote:
"When my son had an erection I watched as he was blasted with the anti-erection ring. When the sparks started flying it reminded me of that scene in 'Return of the Jedi' when Luke is being zapped by the Emperor. The irony of the situation was not lost as he screamed, 'save me father!!!'"
Karl-Heinz Stirner, London UK
Lol, that is hilarious.

That is below pathetic to have that done to some kid...

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-10-16 06:43pm

blindness - I've got bad eyesight, but that started waaay before puberty.
acne - nothing abnormal, just the occassional pimple.
the desire for a greater thrill which leads to drug addiction - Errr, no...
homosexuality - Again, no....
atheism - and the problem with this is?

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2002-10-16 06:48pm

weemadando wrote: atheism - and the problem with this is?

IT IS EEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL \fundie

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2002-10-16 07:21pm

Darth Utsanomiko wrote:EDIT: Speaking of which, Lagmonster, why would they need self-stroking education, anyway? I mean, you just pick a hand, and you work with it. Oh, and make sure the door's locked, but that's just common sense.
(Unless you're talking about techniques, such as the ladies using the shower head on the 'message' setting, etc...)

Oh, certainly, there's not much to know - but really, a whole LOT of education is better than none! After all, we're talking about getting the word out to a group of people who claim they've never done any exploring in their formative years. They have a LOT of catching up to do.

You just have to make sure that these poor people have all the advantages of someone who is a frequent full orchestral Crotchist.

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2002-10-16 07:32pm

Australopithicus wrote:
Darth Utsanomiko wrote: Women need climaxes, too! Let them stimulate it themselves, let me stimulate it for them, it doesn't matter! The world needs female orgasms, and JW don't know how to follow through!
If you thought that that was anything approaching intelligent or funny, then I pity you.

Honestly, Austi. Just because you can't see the humour in it doesn't make it unfunny. Frankly, you need to collect some Frequent Narcissexual Points yourself.

Newtonian Fury · Post by **Newtonian Fury** » 2002-10-16 10:45pm

Fundamentalists, like almost all authoritarian powers, need to suppress the human sex drive so they can turn it into fanaticism. The novel Handmaid's Tale demonstrates such sexual fascism. That's why sex is actually such a good weapon against tyranny

Antediluvian · Post by **Antediluvian** » 2002-10-17 12:22am

Fundamentalists has been spewing that bullshit about masturbation for years.

It's typical of them. They always seem to have some ridiculous reason(s) as to why a harmless activity they don't like is wrong.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-10-17 12:43am

Australopithicus wrote:
Women need climaxes, too! Let them stimulate it themselves, let me stimulate it for them, it doesn't matter! The world needs female orgasms, and JW don't know how to follow through!
If you thought that that was anything approaching intelligent or funny, then I pity you.

You pity him for having a relaxed attitude about sex and female orgasms?

That's pretty funny. The rest of us pity you for denying yourself the pleasures of the flesh thanks to your sad cult of pointless self-denial. Why do you have a problem with masturbation, female orgasms, etc?

If God had a problem with female pleasure, he wouldn't have given Mankind the genius to invent the vibrator

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2002-10-17 02:04am

Alyrium Denryle wrote:My vision is 20/250
I dont have acne
I dont use drugs
I am a homosexual
I am a atheist.

Well . . . you're three for five there . . .

C.S.Strowbridge · Post by **C.S.Strowbridge** » 2002-10-17 03:23am

Australopithicus wrote:
Darth Utsanomiko wrote: You hear that, fundies? 90%! That includes your own members! Chew on that!

Actually, as many as 97% of males and 90% of femalews on Earth have masturbated before the age of 21. As JW's only constitute 0.01% of the entire planetary population, then we can fit the entire religion into the last 3% of males alone, let alone the last 10% of females.

Chew on that.

Yeah, no JW has ever masturbated. Which would really explain a lot.

C.S.Strowbridge · Post by **C.S.Strowbridge** » 2002-10-17 03:25am

Alyrium Denryle wrote:My vision is 20/250

Got you beat, I'm 20 / 950 perhaps even 20 / 1000+ by now.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-10-17 03:56am

Darth Wong wrote:
Australopithicus wrote:
Women need climaxes, too! Let them stimulate it themselves, let me stimulate it for them, it doesn't matter! The world needs female orgasms, and JW don't know how to follow through!
If you thought that that was anything approaching intelligent or funny, then I pity you.
You pity him for having a relaxed attitude about sex and female orgasms?

That's pretty funny. The rest of us pity you for denying yourself the pleasures of the flesh thanks to your sad cult of pointless self-denial. Why do you have a problem with masturbation, female orgasms, etc?

If God had a problem with female pleasure, he wouldn't have given Mankind the genius to invent the vibrator

If God had a problem with women having orgasms, they wouldn't be equiped to have them in the first place...

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2002-10-17 09:42am

EmperorMing wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:
Australopithicus wrote: If you thought that that was anything approaching intelligent or funny, then I pity you.
You pity him for having a relaxed attitude about sex and female orgasms?

That's pretty funny. The rest of us pity you for denying yourself the pleasures of the flesh thanks to your sad cult of pointless self-denial. Why do you have a problem with masturbation, female orgasms, etc?

If God had a problem with female pleasure, he wouldn't have given Mankind the genius to invent the vibrator
If God had a problem with women having orgasms, they wouldn't be equiped to have them in the first place...

If God had a problem with women having orgasms, he shouldn't have given me these busy hands.

Oh, and $50 says more than half of all JW masturbate. Y'know they would, as long as they do it secretly.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2002-10-17 10:46am

er... this is a joke site, isnt it?

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-10-17 10:48am

salm wrote:er... this is a joke site, isnt it?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2002-10-17 11:25am

Darth Utsanomiko wrote:Oh, and $50 says more than half of all JW masturbate. Y'know they would, as long as they do it secretly.

I'm NOT taking that bet. It's a shame that religious people are afraid to be selfish. Honestly. The church needs to liven up its act a bit, get people to not be so afraid of the contents of their pants. Get the cardinals and the pope involved, issue a statement. Go with the slogan, "It's still better than fornication!".

I think we could all enjoy a message endorsing masturbation coming from a group of stodgy old men in neck-to floor robes and tall, phallic hats who've potentially never had sex in their lives: "Yes, we all look like giant penises. God loves the penis as He does any other organ. Love your pensises, ye children of god, and keep them as sacred in thine hands."

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2002-10-17 12:36pm

Lagmonster wrote:The church needs to liven up its act a bit, get people to not be so afraid of the contents of their pants.

"I have a dream, that one day we will live in a nation, where we are not judged by the content of our pants, but by the content of our character..."

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-10-17 01:44pm

Hhmmm; Put the *fun* in Fundie...

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-10-17 02:10pm

Lagmonster wrote:I think we could all enjoy a message endorsing masturbation coming from a group of stodgy old men in neck-to floor robes and tall, phallic hats who've potentially never had sex in their lives: "Yes, we all look like giant penises. God loves the penis as He does any other organ. Love your pensises, ye children of god, and keep them as sacred in thine hands."

For shame....neglecting the clitoris....

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2002-10-17 02:20pm

XaLEv wrote:For shame....neglecting the clitoris....

Well, this is the senior echelons of the Catholic church we're talking about. How would those old guys know they exist? I can't see you getting all the cardinals together and showing them diagrams or anything.

"Yes, we can issue a church statement on this. But first we have to see more of those films. Preferably the one with the nun and the two 'sinners'."

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2002-10-17 03:30pm

EmperorMing wrote:Hhmmm; Put the *fun* in Fundie...

More like the 'mental' in fundemental.

And Austal, do the JW have a problem with manual stimulation in general, or just when someone performs it themselves? Or does it only pertain to women?

'Cause a world without Good Touch is like Hell on Earth.

ArthurDent · Post by **ArthurDent** » 2002-10-17 03:38pm

anarchistbunny wrote:And I'm as straight as a ruler.

Was the pun intended?

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2002-10-17 04:09pm

EDIT: Whoops, wrong thead.

Australopithicus · Post by **Australopithicus** » 2002-10-17 04:56pm

Your reaction to all of this is really quite funny, even though nothing else you say against us is.

First you make a point about a few morons who hold to stuff that was disproved by medical science more than 50 years ago, and when I bring something up that is legitimate, you all twist it into one big joke.

If nothing else, then I'll have to give you brownie points for your group ignorance (as opposed to my singular ignorance, I suppose). It seems that you know even less about JW's than I know about evolution, and that says a lot. You study the Bible to disprove it, but you don't stop to comprehend it's meaning. You just think 'Ah, it must be one of those ye olde values which have no bearing on us today', and you read on, looking for possible faults in the canonical reliability of then Bible. And that, my 'friends', is known as a 'specious argument'. Your ideas may seem sound on the outside, but really they tend to be nothing more than desperate fallacy, with nothing more than a ring of truth in them.

And that is why I pity you.