Is it rude to be asked to use your "real name"?

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Shroom Man 777
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Re: Is it rude to be asked to use your "real name"?

Post by Shroom Man 777 » 2017-11-16 09:39am

ray245 wrote:
2017-11-16 05:34am
Shroom Man 777 wrote:
2017-11-16 03:13am
The person probably thought, out of consideration for you, that you were using your English name as a "stage name" and had another non-English name as the birth name you're actually comfortable with. The person probably wasn't aware of the linguistic complexities of South East Asian societies and how there are quite a bunch of folks who are ethnically Chinese but are more comfy with English than with the language of their revered ancestors (this is my case).
I know. My point is that making such presumption that SEA is similar to how things are like in Africa or the West is problematic. Yes, Southeast Asia is colonised like most of Africa, but how it was colonised as well as how these regions became independent is quite different.

I'm uncomfortable with the implications that Singapore is defined by its ethnicity.
Yeah, they were using inaccurate assumptions and that's not cool (and it'd be tiresome to explain all of this unless you're up for it), but I was just trying to say that they probably meant well - since if they encountered someone who had to use a western name because no one wanted to listen to their "ooga booga ching chong" names or whatever, then that's pretty terrible and they might've been moved by that concern.

Also, it's not just Africa or the West, I'm sure in not-SE Asia it probably occurs. I know over here that business-process-outsourcing people have to adopt Western names and get coaching for Western accents in order to do their jobs.
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Re: Is it rude to be asked to use your "real name"?

Post by Lord Revan » 2017-11-16 02:23pm

Intresting thing to consider is also what these people think about those of us who are white but have names that hard to pronounce for english speakers, I know my "real" first name is near impossible to pronounce correctly in most american accents due ending in a sound that doesn't exist in american english (a short "o" sound to be exact, the way most americans would render that would spelled "ou" in finnish).

I'd probably go by Sam or Tom (from my second name) if had I spend extended times in US simply to make easier for others. My last name while 100% finnish is pretty easy for english to pronounce from what I've gathered (as in I've never heard an american mispronounce that during my visits).
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Re: Is it rude to be asked to use your "real name"?

Post by Elheru Aran » 2017-11-16 05:26pm

African names are also frequently difficult for English speakers; it's not uncommon at all for professionals from Africa to simply adopt a Western name for convenience. There was a teacher at my university, I didn't take any of his classes but I met him, a Yoruba from Nigeria, Olaoba Arasanyin; he went by Frank. Of course, Nigeria uses English as its national language (kind of had to with 500+ distinct languages in the country) and the Yorubas are from the more heavily Anglicized southern part of the country, so it's quite possible that he may have had Francis/Franklin/Frank somewhere in his full name. Other Nigerians that I've met have had no issue with using their original non-English names in general as far as I know; I've met a Femi, at least, and there are several that I know of (seems there are a lot of Nigerians in my neck of Atlanta actually).
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Re: Is it rude to be asked to use your "real name"?

Post by ray245 » 2017-11-16 06:12pm

Shroom Man 777 wrote:
2017-11-16 09:39am
ray245 wrote:
2017-11-16 05:34am
Shroom Man 777 wrote:
2017-11-16 03:13am
The person probably thought, out of consideration for you, that you were using your English name as a "stage name" and had another non-English name as the birth name you're actually comfortable with. The person probably wasn't aware of the linguistic complexities of South East Asian societies and how there are quite a bunch of folks who are ethnically Chinese but are more comfy with English than with the language of their revered ancestors (this is my case).
I know. My point is that making such presumption that SEA is similar to how things are like in Africa or the West is problematic. Yes, Southeast Asia is colonised like most of Africa, but how it was colonised as well as how these regions became independent is quite different.

I'm uncomfortable with the implications that Singapore is defined by its ethnicity.
Yeah, they were using inaccurate assumptions and that's not cool (and it'd be tiresome to explain all of this unless you're up for it), but I was just trying to say that they probably meant well - since if they encountered someone who had to use a western name because no one wanted to listen to their "ooga booga ching chong" names or whatever, then that's pretty terrible and they might've been moved by that concern.

Also, it's not just Africa or the West, I'm sure in not-SE Asia it probably occurs. I know over here that business-process-outsourcing people have to adopt Western names and get coaching for Western accents in order to do their jobs.
I mean like it or hate it, English has basically become the lingua franca of the entire world. Sure, you can protest about how this is a result of colonialism, but trying to end the predominance of English is simply going to result in another language taking over.

But more importantly, I think what's more important is to remove the implication that having a Western name implies someone has been "westernised" in some form. The idea that Western names belongs to the "West" is perhaps a more problematic issue? I mean just because someone in Singapore adopted or were given a western name at birth does not make them a more "western" person than someone who wasn't given one or has been using one.

Because a lot of people I know in Singapore don't necessarily see having western names as adopting western culture. Westernisation to people in Asia has more association with globalization than specifically about western culture itself.
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Re: Is it rude to be asked to use your "real name"?

Post by bilateralrope » 2017-11-16 10:36pm

Korto wrote:
2017-11-14 06:04am
There's a guy whose daughter goes to my kid's scouts.
He's Asian appearance (I'm in Australia, so "Asian appearance" means Oriental--Chinese, Japanese, etc; not India, Pakistan, etc), Asian accent, his wife is to, and his name's Geoffrey.

Occasionally I really do wonder if that's actually his name, or he just got sick of having us Aussies butcher his real name.
What's his family name ?

If it's a non-European one, I'd guess that he's using the name given at birth. Otherwise, I have no idea.

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Re: Is it rude to be asked to use your "real name"?

Post by Shroom Man 777 » 2017-11-18 01:00pm

ray245 wrote:
2017-11-16 06:12pm
I mean like it or hate it, English has basically become the lingua franca of the entire world. Sure, you can protest about how this is a result of colonialism, but trying to end the predominance of English is simply going to result in another language taking over.
There's a difference between that and say policies or habits where people go "oh I'm too lazy to bother to even try to say your ching-chong ooga-booga name so can't YOU be the one to use another name instead of the one you were given at birth and identify with?" IMO, the latter is the bothersome thing.

It's not even "oh english is predominant so you have to use a different name when dealing with western people who don't want to say your name" since Anakin and Jar-Jar aren't western/English names yet blockbuster films had no problem using those names and audiences didn't have a problem either. :P
But more importantly, I think what's more important is to remove the implication that having a Western name implies someone has been "westernised" in some form. The idea that Western names belongs to the "West" is perhaps a more problematic issue? I mean just because someone in Singapore adopted or were given a western name at birth does not make them a more "western" person than someone who wasn't given one or has been using one.

Because a lot of people I know in Singapore don't necessarily see having western names as adopting western culture. Westernisation to people in Asia has more association with globalization than specifically about western culture itself.
Yes, I agree. I don't know where the person was coming from, and my previous post already mentions that a lot of societies have this weird hodgepodge so other post-colonial people with different circumstances might not grasp that.

I
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
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Re: Is it rude to be asked to use your "real name"?

Post by ray245 » 2017-11-18 01:57pm

Shroom Man 777 wrote:
2017-11-18 01:00pm
There's a difference between that and say policies or habits where people go "oh I'm too lazy to bother to even try to say your ching-chong ooga-booga name so can't YOU be the one to use another name instead of the one you were given at birth and identify with?" IMO, the latter is the bothersome thing.

It's not even "oh english is predominant so you have to use a different name when dealing with western people who don't want to say your name" since Anakin and Jar-Jar aren't western/English names yet blockbuster films had no problem using those names and audiences didn't have a problem either. :P
They are easily pronounceable names that were created in an English speaking region, so they are pretty much an "English" name.

Yes, I agree. I don't know where the person was coming from, and my previous post already mentions that a lot of societies have this weird hodgepodge so other post-colonial people with different circumstances might not grasp that.
I
I think it's an issue of looking at post-colonial cultures/people as a collective whole.
Humans are such funny creatures. We are selfish about selflessness, yet we can love something so much that we can hate something.

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