Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstomp

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Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstomp

Post by mr friendly guy »

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-07-11/f ... es/5590856
Calling a World Cup victory a 'rape' is no joke
By Clementine Ford

When people use the word "rape" to happily describe destroying an opponent in a game, they're wilfully ignoring the fact that women (and growing numbers of men) around the world are subjected to brutal sexual violence. Clementine Ford writes.

It didn't take long before the rape jokes started flooding social media to mock Brazil's 7-1 loss to Germany in the semi-final of the World Cup.

Although the jokes and memes varied slightly, the essential message was this: Germany had raped Brazil, and Germany were legends.

In the aftermath, there have been online debates about the appropriateness of using metaphors of sexual violence to describe a sporting defeat, particularly when the weight of admiration is so clearly aligned with the aggressor. Users of the term have defended it as harmless fun; it doesn't mean "actual rape", so what's the big deal? Doesn't language evolve?

The example for Urban Dictionary's second definition of 'rape' reads: 'Dude, I totally raped your ass during that last game of Age of Empires.'
Leaving aside for a moment the question of whether or not the use of "rape" to gleefully revel in the public humiliation of a sporting team can ever be mistaken for evolution, our culture is sadly not yet at the point where we can divorce ourselves from the ongoing trauma and social implications of sexual violence.

In Australia, one in five women and one in 20 men will experience some form of sexual assault after the age of 15. For women with an intellectual disability, that risk increases by up to 90 per cent. In our prisons, 82 per cent of non-Aboriginal women and 90 per cent of Aboriginal women have been subjected to sexual violence at some point in their lives.

And for the few cases that even reach criminal trial, conviction rates are extremely low. In NSW, data indicates that 74 per cent of alleged sex offenders are acquitted in cases involving adult victims; in cases involving children, that acquittal number drops slightly to a still-high 61 per cent. In schools, universities and communities around our country, children, adolescents and adults - most of them female - are subjected to the kind of sexual violence that is routinely ignored or downplayed by a culture which prefers to think of perpetrators as shadowy monsters who lurk in alleyways waiting to turn girls into cautionary tales.

Language evolves, but it cannot evolve without the culture going along with it.

But this use of "rape" as a metaphor for convincing defeat or destruction in non-sexual contexts isn't new. For years now, it's been co-opted by adolescents to refer to annihilation, most typically through sports or video games. As the example for Urban Dictionary's second definition for "rape" has it, "Dude, I totally raped your ass during that last game of Age of Empires." I have similarly heard it used to describe anything from heavy traffic to a busy day at work. "I got raped by traffic on the way home." "We were raped at work today by the huge crowds."

Let's be clear about something. Unless someone at work forced you to engage in sexual activity against your will - a criminal activity perpetrated against significant numbers of employees around the world - you were not "raped" because you had a busy day. And your rights to freedom of expression are not being violated because people object to your choice to use language which knowingly harms survivors of traumatic sexual assault.

When people use the word "rape" to happily describe destroying an opponent in a video game, they're wilfully ignoring the fact that women (and growing numbers of men) around the world are subjected to brutal sexual violence as a weapon of war, with victims numbering in the millions.

During wartime in the Congo, 48 women are raped every hour. In the 1990s, more than 60,000 women were raped as part of the Bosnian conflict. Between 1-2 million German women were raped by Russian soldiers at the end of World War II. Women serving in the American military are more likely to raped by a fellow soldier than killed by enemy fire.

These statistics and facts are not jokes. And while they might be theoretical for some people, they are a reality for countless survivors and the people who care about them. For women especially, the fear of rape and sexual violence is our constant companion. We may not always be actively conscious of it, but it takes very little to have that switch triggered to alert our instincts - the appearance of a footstep behind us on a dark street; an unfamiliar noise in the house late at night; and yes, someone who seems to find the idea of rape funny and who, when you ask them not to make thoughtless jokes about it, tells you you're overreacting.

Asking that people be considerate and thoughtful about their language - particularly when it has the potential to cause very real damage to people with traumatic experience of the subject matter - isn't a violation of freedom of speech. It isn't "political correctness gone mad" or any of the similarly jingoistic catchphrases that are bandied around to excuse people's monstrously ignorant behaviour. It's simply asking that we adhere to a socially codified system of kindness in which we consider how our words and deeds might affect other people. For people who have never experienced sexual violence, it is a luxury to be able to redefine those words to get a cheap laugh on social media. It isn't a right.

But perhaps the most important thing is this. When you joke about rape, when you take that word and make it yours to laugh about it, to chide your friends with, to mock one person's defeat while celebrating as victorious those you've cast as the metaphorical rapists, you are telling women that they can't trust you. And when you treat their objections as ridiculous overreactions that are less worthy of respect than the entitlement you feel to treat them as you want regardless of their feelings - you are confirming to them that they shouldn't.

Language evolves. Perhaps it's time society did too.

Clementine Ford is a freelance writer, broadcaster and public speaker based in Melbourne. Follow her on Twitter @clementine_ford. View her full profile here.
Now in this context the word rape doesn't refer to forcing someone to have intercourse against their will. Its synonymous with words like curbstomp, thrashing, etc. I am sure I have seen that term used in the context of vs debates, like the Empire would totally arse rape the Federation etc.

The question is, is it appropriate to use it that way. Or is like using the word niggardly.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by salm »

The person who wrote this seems to be ok with using the word annhiliation. He says that using the word "rape" is bad because rape is done in wars and other bad situations. The same thing can be said about annihilation.
Now, there might be legititimate reasons not to use the word rape but this article is illogical nonsense.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by AniThyng »

salm wrote:The person who wrote this seems to be ok with using the word annhiliation. He says that using the word "rape" is bad because rape is done in wars and other bad situations. The same thing can be said about annihilation.
Now, there might be legititimate reasons not to use the word rape but this article is illogical nonsense.
Yeah but rape is a more despicable crime than mere annihilation, seeing as that casual murder (or even mass annihilation e.g. by nuclear weapon) by the player in video games is mainstream while player participatory rape is something only weird Japanese hentai games do.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by salm »

Wouldn´t that mean that the games themselves are allready bad because they portray murder and destruction and therefore remind people who have gone through war or other kinds of brutality of it?

Also I don´t agree with you that rape is more despicable than murder. Did you word that correctly?
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by AniThyng »

salm wrote:Wouldn´t that mean that the games themselves are allready bad because they portray murder and destruction and therefore remind people who have gone through war or other kinds of brutality of it?

Also I don´t agree with you that rape is more despicable than murder. Did you word that correctly?
I think it logically follows from the fact that it's pitifully easy to find depictions of annihilation and war and even publicly exclaim how awesome it is (see: any action movie, ever), while no one with any pretense of decency will do the same for rape*.

*OK, I suppose there is Game of Thrones, for example. But the rape scene with daenarys was as i recall far more controversial than any random murder in the show, and i cannot think of anyone who would really say "that rape scene was awesome!!!", versus "OMG that was the most awesome battle scene ever", is that not so? And this is totally mainstream stuff.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by salm »

So only if the usage of the word rape is mainstreamed enough it will be ok to use it? The people who use it before and actually make it mainstream are bad?
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by TheFeniX »

AniThyng wrote:I think it logically follows from the fact that it's pitifully easy to find depictions of annihilation and war and even publicly exclaim how awesome it is (see: any action movie, ever), while no one with any pretense of decency will do the same for rape*.
That's because you don't see the real depictions of violence in most movies. You see guys with blood packs going off being blown back 200 feet from a shotgun round. You don't see people walking around on fire after a nuke goes off. You don't see them laying on the ground bleeding to death crying for their mothers. Once you're dead, there's no psychological trauma to deal with. Maybe if movies showed more men/women being crippled in war, rather than killed or showed the crying wife/children of mook #54, there would be a different attitude about it.

There's a large difference between "Total Recall" and "Saving Private Ryan."

Has there ever been a "firing squad" scene labelled "awesome?" It's still killing. What's the difference? Mainly because whoever is doing the shooting has already won. And people don't consider that all the honorable. At least that's my thoughts on it.
*OK, I suppose there is Game of Thrones, for example. But the rape scene with daenarys was as i recall far more controversial than any random murder in the show, and i cannot think of anyone who would really say "that rape scene was awesome!!!", versus "OMG that was the most awesome battle scene ever", is that not so? And this is totally mainstream stuff.
I think that may have to do with it being easier to sterilize "I have to kill this guy before he kills me" rather than "I've won, now I'm going to rape/torture this person." Also, I can't recall many instances of people who "deserve" to be raped. But I also feel the same way about torture. At least for me, "Good guys" don't rape/torture because they've already won at that point and modern views of justice don't allow for that kind of shit.

One scene I recall, was "Oz" where Adebisi beats down a couple of mobsters trying to kill him (with a can of beans). He then decides to rape one of them who's the son of the head mobster. It's done because not only is Adebisi a fucked-up guy, but because being raped is considered worse than death because "once a bitch, always a bitch" and he knew it would disgrace the mob more than just killing him.

Now, this scene wasn't awesome in the sense of an action movie, but it was balsy and the mobster was definitely a guy who "deserved" what he got. Killing him would have been "awesome" because Adebisi had every justification for defending himself. But you have to ask yourself what's worse: being emotionally wrecked (the guy is moved to the psych ward) or being dead? I think we use term "better off dead" only because being dead means you don't have to see the after-effects.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by Lagmonster »

As an aside, I tried to think of the most common colloquialisms used to describe sports victories and losses, and the most common ones I came up with also refer to violence. Take the one you hear on every sports program: "Team A beat Team B", which I don't think any English speaker today would take to mean that one team's players were physically assaulted. We made that word have different meanings, and we're on the way to doing the same thing with words and phrases like "screwed", "wiped out", "kicked out", "knocked out" and "robbed", all of which can communicate different things when part of different sentences.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by General Zod »

What if we started using World War 2 analogies?

"The Germans sent the Argentinans to the furnace."

"They shoved them into the gas chambers head first!"

"The Argentinians rolled over like France!"
"It's you Americans. There's something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we'd be romping around naked on the stage here."
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by Elheru Aran »

General Zod wrote:What if we started using World War 2 analogies?

"The Germans sent the Argentinans to the furnace."

"They shoved them into the gas chambers head first!"

"The Argentinians rolled over like France!"
Tasteless, to say the least. In general it's rude to describe actions committed by A to B in terms that bring up reprehensible parts of the participants' histories.

Another example: "Those [Washington] Redskins sure scalped the Packers today!"
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by Simon_Jester »

Lagmonster wrote:As an aside, I tried to think of the most common colloquialisms used to describe sports victories and losses, and the most common ones I came up with also refer to violence. Take the one you hear on every sports program: "Team A beat Team B", which I don't think any English speaker today would take to mean that one team's players were physically assaulted. We made that word have different meanings, and we're on the way to doing the same thing with words and phrases like "screwed", "wiped out", "kicked out", "knocked out" and "robbed", all of which can communicate different things when part of different sentences.
I think the key is that these are mostly somewhat 'generic' terms for causing harm to an enemy.

While "screwed" refers to a specific sexual activity in theory, it's an elliptical reference that can easily be overlooked if we don't want to think of it as sexual. Thus the difference between saying "wow, the car dealership really screwed him" and "wow, the car dealership really sodomized him." Even though in theory the two verbs could refer to the same act, in practice... they don't.

The catch is that "rape" is the primary verb we use for sexual assault. If you hear the word 'rape' in a sentence, most of the time that person is talking about sexual assault. Thus, "raped" brings up analogies to (and associations with) sexual assault much more easily than "screwed" does.

In my honest opinion we shouldn't use 'curbstomp' for this kind of thing either, because a 'curbstomp' is (literally speaking) an extremely brutal form of assault. Basically it involves having all your teeth shattered and driven into your mouth and having the back of your head stomped on. It also has a history of being used in the context of racist violence both in real life and in fiction.

When we say "the German soccer team raped the Brazilians" or "curbstomped" them, we're implicitly saying that rape and shattering people's teeth against cement curbs are the acts we associate with people who win at sports. And everyone loves a winner, right?
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by Napoleon the Clown »

I think one very important thing to keep in mind with regards to the casual use of rape and other forms of sexual assault is that they are treated lightly to begin with and they happen constantly no matter where you go. Odds are very good that you personally know someone who has been a victim of sexual abuse in one form or another.

Combine the two, and you might get an idea as to why some frown on casually using the word rape to describe a one-sided victory. Making a conscious decision to rape someone (vs being too stupid to understand that if your partner is hammered, they may not be able to properly consent, and so on - this does not mean the act stops being wrong, of course) rarely is about sexual gratification. Control and dominance is kind of the fucking point. Rape is treated lightly as it is, using it to describe a heinous act that many millions of women in the US alone have been subjected to is just bad form. And quite a few more men than you may necessarily expect.

Think of it this way: Would you crack jokes about genocide to someone who had to flee a genocide attempt, such as a Holocaust survivor? Or someone who had to go through any other attempted genocide. Would you crack wise about lynching around someone who had the... pleasure of dealing with the days when that happened to blacks quite a lot? Would you make tasteless jokes about [insert slur here] to someone you know to be a transwoman or transman? "But I would never make light of rape around a rape victim!" How do you know someone has been raped, unless they've shared it with you?


And that's basically the logical reason I can see for not using rape lightly. It's a rather serious, ongoing problem and treating it like no big deal isn't gonna help any.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by mr friendly guy »

Simon_Jester wrote: When we say "the German soccer team raped the Brazilians" or "curbstomped" them, we're implicitly saying that rape and shattering people's teeth against cement curbs are the acts we associate with people who win at sports. And everyone loves a winner, right?
I usually think of the terms rape and curbstomp in this context to also indicate the magnitude of the defeat. Unlike say the phrase team A beat team B, doesn't tell us how much they won by. Team A curbstomped team B would imply a thrashing. Which as it turns out, thrashing also refers to physical violence. Which arguably might be offensive to people who have been assaulted.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by biostem »

I would argue that by the logic of this topic, any use of violent acts as metaphor for achieving victory over another person/group, should be dissuaded as well;

"We slaughtered them"
"We murdered them"
"We beat the sh&t outta them"
etc.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by mr friendly guy »

I think in these cases, one has to be careful in the context. Using another example the word chink means weakness, but when you put it with a capital C, its a derogatory insult against Chinese people.

The phrase "we found a chink in the Klingon's shields" would most probably be just a description of a weakness in the shields. When some idiot journalist used the word "the chink in New York's armor" or some such line to describe a lost by the New York Knicks doesn't sound so bad. Until you remember at this time the Knicks were on a high because of a great contribution from Jeremy Lin. The chink (while using a small c) is arguably a play on words with the other derogatory meaning. So just a little bit can change the context.

Referring back to the OP, then using the word rape in the context of team A raped team B is in a similar manner to "we found a chink in the Klingon's shields". But it only takes a little bit to change the context, so one should use the word with care.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by mr friendly guy »

biostem wrote:I would argue that by the logic of this topic, any use of violent acts as metaphor for achieving victory over another person/group, should be dissuaded as well;

"We slaughtered them"
"We murdered them"
"We beat the sh&t outta them"
etc.
I know this is most probably silly, but I can't help it. Taken to extremes we might have commentators barred from using the word murder in the following context...

"And a murder of Crows tie the ball up." This refers to Australian Football League where one of the teams is the Adelaide Crows. I have heard the term murder of crows used by commentators to describe this when their players gather around in numbers. My mother found this humourous when she first heard it. However murder is actually the correct collective noun for describing a group of crows (the bird) so they extended it to describe the football players playing for the team which shares the same name as the bird.

Theoretically relatives of murder victims might get offended. :D
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by biostem »

mr friendly guy wrote:
biostem wrote:I would argue that by the logic of this topic, any use of violent acts as metaphor for achieving victory over another person/group, should be dissuaded as well;

"We slaughtered them"
"We murdered them"
"We beat the sh&t outta them"
etc.
I know this is most probably silly, but I can't help it. Taken to extremes we might have commentators barred from using the word murder in the following context...

"And a murder of Crows tie the ball up." This refers to Australian Football League where one of the teams is the Adelaide Crows. I have heard the term murder of crows used by commentators to describe this when their players gather around in numbers. My mother found this humourous when she first heard it. However murder is actually the correct collective noun for describing a group of crows (the bird) so they extended it to describe the football players playing for the team which shares the same name as the bird.

Theoretically relatives of murder victims might get offended. :D
In the context of Crows, "murder" does not mean killing - just as saying that there's a kink in a network cable has nothing to do with someone's particular intimate practices. I was very specific in the sayings that I mentioned.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by General Zod »

Oh, here's another one. How about "They molested the Argentinians like a priest with a choir boy."
"It's you Americans. There's something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we'd be romping around naked on the stage here."
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by AniThyng »

TheFeniX wrote:That's because you don't see the real depictions of violence in most movies.
Yeah see, so far as I can tell, it is actually possible to describe a depiction of a murder or annihilation in a way that a movie critic might even describe as "artistic" and "tasteful". You can even do it with consensual sex. But a "tastefully" depicted rape? That's not happening (as far as I know). So yes, I stand by my statement that we find depictions of rape (and rape itself, as a crime) to be much more despicable than straight out murder.

I suppose one could say not showing anything but a closed door or shadows and screaming is the equivalent to say, godzilla smashing up san francisco, and you >know< hundreds if not thousands of undepicted people are DYING, and Godzilla is a PG-13 movie with childrens toys made for it!
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by AniThyng »

salm wrote:So only if the usage of the word rape is mainstreamed enough it will be ok to use it? The people who use it before and actually make it mainstream are bad?
Isn't that the point of the article? That if we casually throw the word "rape" around as a synonym for complete and utter defeat it is mainstreaming it and diminishing its impact? It's already far too late to do the same for annihilate, that's for certain.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by Simon_Jester »

mr friendly guy wrote:
Simon_Jester wrote:When we say "the German soccer team raped the Brazilians" or "curbstomped" them, we're implicitly saying that rape and shattering people's teeth against cement curbs are the acts we associate with people who win at sports. And everyone loves a winner, right?
I usually think of the terms rape and curbstomp in this context to also indicate the magnitude of the defeat.
Except that 'rape' and 'curbstomp' refer to specific, agonizing forms of physical assault that almost invariably cause profound physical or mental scars.
Unlike say the phrase team A beat team B, doesn't tell us how much they won by. Team A curbstomped team B would imply a thrashing. Which as it turns out, thrashing also refers to physical violence. Which arguably might be offensive to people who have been assaulted.
Whereas 'thrashing' is nonspecific. There is no specific type of beating we think of as a "thrashing" or specific class of people we call "thrash victims." Thus, we are not directly invoking the image of a specific brutal physical assault to the image of success and victory in sports.
biostem wrote:I would argue that by the logic of this topic, any use of violent acts as metaphor for achieving victory over another person/group, should be dissuaded as well;

"We slaughtered them"
"We murdered them"
"We beat the sh&t outta them"
etc.
The versions that refer to specific, graphic types of maiming or killing... yes those should not be used as analogies. Same reasoning. Ones that are less specific present less of a problem.

The point here is that yes, when you say "totally defeating a rival sports team is like raping them," you have to consider the message you're sending to people around them. There are people who will take that message seriously and conclude that raping someone is a form of victory and dominance over that person.

Arguably using words like "defeating a rival sports team is like murdering them," causes the same problem. But this is less credible, because we have a universal concept of what murder means. We know that winning a game isn't the same as murdering your opponent... but a lot of men in America do NOT realize that raping your opponent isn't the same as winning a game.
mr friendly guy wrote:"And a murder of Crows tie the ball up." This refers to Australian Football League where one of the teams is the Adelaide Crows. I have heard the term murder of crows used by commentators to describe this when their players gather around in numbers. My mother found this humourous when she first heard it. However murder is actually the correct collective noun for describing a group of crows (the bird) so they extended it to describe the football players playing for the team which shares the same name as the bird.

Theoretically relatives of murder victims might get offended. :D
Except that, again, the word is being used in a linguistically correct way, AND the choice of word ('murder') is again, one that is nonspecific. I'm not making a sinister, brutal statement like "and then Germany stabbed Brazil in the eyes" or something, I'm abstracting out the details of what happened and why, for the sake of public consumption.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by LadyTevar »

Elheru Aran wrote: Another example: "Those [Washington] Redskins sure scalped the Packers today!"
I've actually heard that said by a sports reporter.

Rape should not have been used to describe what happened in that game. Curb-stomp, beatdown, bulldozed, etc., but not rape. But that is only my opinion and worth just as much.
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SAMAS
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by SAMAS »

Elheru Aran wrote:
General Zod wrote:What if we started using World War 2 analogies?

"The Germans sent the Argentinans to the furnace."

"They shoved them into the gas chambers head first!"

"The Argentinians rolled over like France!"
Tasteless, to say the least. In general it's rude to describe actions committed by A to B in terms that bring up reprehensible parts of the participants' histories.

Another example: "Those [Washington] Redskins sure scalped the Packers today!"
Which has in fact been used before, when a writer wants to use themed adjectives in his or her reporting for humorous purposes (right alongside "the Pirates plundered", "the Giants stomped", the Bears mauled", etc...). The reason you don't hear much complaining about is because most of the offense is apparently in the "Redskins" part as it is.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by Thanas »

No, I don't think it is okay to use rape. I do think it is okay to use curbstomp and murder.

Why?

Because only one of the three perpetuates rape culture.
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Re: Is it ok to use the word rape synonymously with curbstom

Post by Dr. Trainwreck »

Three cheers for Napoleon and Thanas. Saying "but we use violent metaphors all the time!" misses the entire point.
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