From: Center of Foreign Affairs, The Centrality
To: Contact and Diplomacy Division, The Refuge

To whom it concerns this:

We wish to reassure you that our proxies in the Outlands are in no shape to threaten your state, nor we will allow it. If you still have misgivings, we can discuss it.

---

An inhabitant from the Island of Cars.

To: Center of Foreign Affairs, The Centrality
From: Contact and Diplomacy Division, The Refuge

This is acknowledged. It is noted that Centralist Parties have been a component of Outlander politics for many decades, and that they have suffered a major setback in recent times. We have information that we would be willing to share on that topic.

We also have information that we would be willing to trade for other useful data, such as the method used to intercept our messages to Nova Atlantis. Our embassy is available for more personal communications.

---

DPDarkPrimus is my boyfriend!

SDNW4 Nation: The Refuge And, on Nova Terra, Al-Stan the Totally and Completely Honest and Legitimate Weapons Dealer and Used Starship Salesman slept on a bed made of money, with a blaster under his pillow and his sombrero pulled over his face. This is to say, he slept very well indeed.

To: The Refuge, Contact and Diplomacy Division
From: The Hon. Stepan Xiaowen, Commonwealth Ministry of Foreign Affairs

Regardless, their is no hard evidence linking the Commonwealth's government. What you have is speculation and an erronious link in regards involving demographics and foreign policy. The New T'au Conclave of Ethereals has denounced the actions of these Terrorists and to be frank, the Byzantines are not a political entity which avoids making enemies. Commonwealth Law Enforcement and the Unconventional Warfare Corps will act to aphrehend those responsible so they may be rehabilitated or otherwise neutralized and their threat to galactic stability be put to an end. Currently research is being made to provice a more survivable treatment and innoculation against the Nanoplauge, but we exert no control over the nanites nor the dispersal methods. These actions which you threaten us with serve no purpose to your interests and shall only serve to cause needless compromise of relations to a non agressive state.

---

HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
Heros of Cybertron-HAB-Keeper of the Vicious pit of Allosauruses-King Leighton-I, United Kingdom of Zoria: SD.net World/Tsar Mikhail-I of the Red Tsardom: SD.net Kingdoms
WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
http://zortropolis.myminicity.com/
http://zortropolis.myminicity.com/ind
http://zortropolis.myminicity.com/tra
Terran Sphere
The Art of Zor

From: Center of Foreign Affairs, The Centrality
To: Contact and Diplomacy Division, The Refuge

We are interested in your information regarding the Outlands Centralists, as well as other useful data. We have available info you may be interested in, but for security reasons we cannot disclose it in this message. We may present it in an encrypted format. Or do you prefer something else?

---

An inhabitant from the Island of Cars.

<Using the highest level encryption protocols>
TO: Olympic
From: Grand High Inquisitor Gregor Eisenhorn

Dear Sir/Mdm,

As per details given to Sidney Hank by the Sigilite, the Imperium is about to embark on a Crusade against a said described enemy on the North West side of the galaxy with significant amount of forces.

Regards,
Gregor Eisenhorn
Grand High Inquisitor
Imperial Inquisition of the God Emperor

NOTE: Similar messages passed to others along the trade lanes, but the navy will deviate off known lanes at some point

---

STGOD: Byzantine Empire
Your spirit, diseased as it is, refuses to allow you to give up, no matter what threats you face... and whatever wreckage you leave behind you.
Kreia

From: Aun'Tel'Tac O'ishii, High Ethereal of the United Man-Tau of the Outlands (UMTO)
To: The Right Honorable Jun Smith, Prime Minister of the Nova Atlantean Commonwealth of Worlds

It is with great sadness that I implore you, the Right Honorable leader of Nova Atlantis, the only nation that unconditionally welcomed the Tau after the genocide brought upon the Tau race by the hated Byzantium, to once more open your nations gates to the maligned and persecuted minorities of Man-Tau now suffering in the Outlands - not only at the hands of the Orthodox fanatics so supported by the cowards at Constantinople, but now the brute Bragulans who aided and abetted them in their persecution of our blood kin.

We, the Man-Tau of the Outlands, may be the product of artificial mutation, but we nonetheless have our rights as sentient beings - rights now trampled by those powers who now parade their forces wantonly in Outlands space, heedless of the continued persecution of our kind, our emergent species that has so quickly become endangered by their uncaring callousness or, worse yet, their outright maliciousness. We look to Nova-Atlantis as a beacon of hope, as a nation that so welcomed the forlorn masses of Tau refugees centuries ago and adopted the ways of the Greater Good, as it is now our hope that your nation accepts our plea of asylum and grant us respite from the unending persecutions we are forced to endure. We do not wish to be pitied, we do not wish to be 'cured', we only wish to be free and accepted in a place without the hatred and hostility that have become the only things we know in this harsh universe.

Please, Right Honorable Jun Smith, you are our only hope. Help us... for the Greater Good.

---

shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

Commonwealth Foreign Ministry announcement in the Outlands

In Light of recent events in the Outlands and the actions promoted by various Byzantine hate groups, victims of the transformative nanoplauge from the former Outlander Commissions shall be accommodated at several asteroid facilities. These facilities shall be under quarantine for public health and safety purposes for the time being.

On the same note, the Commonwealth additional aid shall be provided to non Byzantine aligned communities in the Former Outlands, including food, medical supplies and manufacturing equipment to help rebuild capacities which have been ravaged by in-fighting.

---

HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
Heros of Cybertron-HAB-Keeper of the Vicious pit of Allosauruses-King Leighton-I, United Kingdom of Zoria: SD.net World/Tsar Mikhail-I of the Red Tsardom: SD.net Kingdoms
WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
http://zortropolis.myminicity.com/
http://zortropolis.myminicity.com/ind
http://zortropolis.myminicity.com/tra
Terran Sphere
The Art of Zor

Message delivered to Karlack Aspect at BEEEF

To: Karlack Aspect
From: The Ambassador

Greetings. We wish to propose a most interesting alliance opportunity. While we generally despise biological creatures, we find your molding of biology into the semblance of machinery noble. Your desire for planets with rich biospheres to consume coincides very well with out capability to utilize planets that would be inhospitable even to a hearty race such as yourself. We find ourselves realizing that if you do succeed in devouring the galaxy that there is still plentiful room for us to coexist.

The terms as we see them our simple. Let us cooperate. Every speck of biological life you desire is yours. The lifeless rocks are ours. We will both feast to our hearts content and anything that stands in our way will be crushed. We will happily oblige any existent alliances you have and seek to ally ourselves with them as well.

We offer our backing to give you uncounted worlds to infest. We hope you see the benefit of this.

With gleeful sincerity
The Ambassador

---

A teenage girl is just a teenage boy who can get laid.
-GTO

We're not just doing this for money; we're doing this for a shitload of money!

To: The Chammaran Heirarchy and the coalition Forces
From: the Rt. Hon. Jun Smith, Prime Minister of the Nova Atlantean Commonwealth of Worlds

While it has taken some time for the commonwealth to come to this conclusion, on behalf of the Commonwealth i shall voice our support for your cause against this Multiuniversal Empire of Happiness. Like the Barbarians did nine centuries ago, the MEH poses a threat to the stability of the galaxy and to what has proven to the commonwealth to be a valued trading partner and friend. We will be willing to provide direct military support in the coming fight.

---

HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
Heros of Cybertron-HAB-Keeper of the Vicious pit of Allosauruses-King Leighton-I, United Kingdom of Zoria: SD.net World/Tsar Mikhail-I of the Red Tsardom: SD.net Kingdoms
WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
http://zortropolis.myminicity.com/
http://zortropolis.myminicity.com/ind
http://zortropolis.myminicity.com/tra
Terran Sphere
The Art of Zor

To: All who may be concerned
From: Emperor Tiir Jet, emperor of the Neo-Taiidani Empire

The Conclave and the Imperial military has decided that the current war going on with the MEH is irrelavant to the interests of the Taiidani people. We, however, may send humanitarian aid if the situation becomes bad enough.

Oh, and greetings. We have returned after our period of isolation.

-NTE diplomatic comminique

(OOC: I got retconned in. The upper half of the ESR is now NTE space.)

OOC: This happens after Kierger is rescued and returning to the Centrality, but he doesn't make this message. Obviously I need to finish that storyline, but I'm trying to keep up with the planned MEH-stomp.

Tightbeam message to MEH

From: The Centrality
To: MEH

Relations with your polity are hereby terminated from this moment on. You know the reason why. We have decided to apprehend your ambassador and give him a proper diet as well as a rigorous excersise regimen. We told you we would burn your calories. Also, have you lost some ships in the last few days? We've heard it's ship season today. We assure you that the hunting is just starting.

Yes, we have attacked you, for reasons you obviously are aware of. For those same reasons, the Centrality declares war on your so-called "Multiversal Empire of Happiness. The sun shall set over your empire, and the Black Star will take its place, over the ruins of your capital! Soon, you will witness the righteous fury of our ESPers, and avenge the suffering of our special brethren!

Farewell.

---

An inhabitant from the Island of Cars.

Sent by encrypted warp-gate transmission under standard Inhumanist League protocols
From: The Office of the Envoy to the Nations and the council of international law
To: OMINOUS central coordination
CC: The Emissaries
re: Legalities and objectives

First of all we would like to remind all nations that space that has lazily assigned as part of the MeH holdings includes minor outposts and worlds that have existed prior to the MeH's arrival. As such we have to strongly recommend limiting our operations to both the specific sectors and against only those targets that self identify as part of the Empire of Happiness. THIS includes the Emissaries stated plan of isolating a26,27 and b27, and your false claims of owning this space are worthless in the light of international law.

Secondly, as a bulwark against claims of illegal war being waged for no reason except plunder we recommend seizing military archives in MeH space to use as evidence of xenocidal plans. In addition the arrest of advisors know as saints has been recommended, as well as standing recommendations for the seizure of the MeH's military AI(s) or backups as they present themselves.

As for the plans for the occupation of the MeH, the EUC is considering increasing it's expected manpower pool for the next economic year.

Finally, we would like to remind all nations that unwanted actions against the populous are likely to provide unwanted attention amongst the human nations of the Galaxy, and is counter to the charter and intent of the Inhumanist League.

By your leave,
Ailill

PS1: I will be making the transition to the fleet rally point prior to the campaigns start and am wondering if your nations would empower my office with the power to accept the unconditional surrender of the meh on behalf of all the Nations of OMINOUS?

PS2: The department of Exobiology and Sentience studies has made available certain un-released studies of the MeH's population. By the definitions of the United Commons it would appear that the populace has failed one significant portion of the test of sentience, ie the ability to lie has been found lacking. We do not know if the sample was unfairly inferior. If some evidence of state level suppression of lying becomes evident during the invassion and occupation we would appreciate it if it is forwarded to study group.

BRAGULAN RESPONSE to THE EOGHAN ENVOY OF NATIONS AND THE COUNCIL OF INTERNATIONAL LAW
From the People's Department of Limited Foreign Interaction and Human Affairs


It would perhaps be more in keeping with the inhumanist cause if representatives from the constituent nations of the OMINOUS be present together with your excellency to accept any surrender from the MEH, to share the moment of victory between comrade-nations of inhumanity.

---

shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

Federated Ascendancy Diplomatic Communique
From: His Excellency M Jacques Dupont, Acting Minister for Foreign Affairs
To: Neo-Taiidani Empire

To whom it may concern,

The Ascendancy is pleased to welcome yet another nation to the galactic stage. As befits neighbors, we wish to establish closer relations with the Empire, and request permission to send a delegation for the purpose of negotiating permanent diplomatic relations.

In friendship,
Jacques Dupont, Minister for Foreign Affairs

EDIT:

Addendum: The Ascendancy apologizes for the unacceptable mistake made by the former Acting Minister for Foreign Affairs. How a man in such a position managed not to realize that the Empire has been in its present location for centuries escapes us, but rest assured that it will not be repeated. Please consider our request amended to permission to send a delegation to negotiate closer diplomatic relations.

---

Conversion Table:

2000 Mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds
Basic Unit of Laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower
453.6 Graham Crackers = 1 Pound Cake
1 Kilogram of Falling Figs - 1 Fig Newton
Time Between Slipping on a Banana Peel and Smacking the Pavement = 1 Bananosecond
Half of a Large Intestine = 1 Semicolon

From: The Government of the Centrality
To: Coalition Against The MEH

Greetings to all members of the coalition,

As you may know already, our state has declared war on the Multiversal Empire of Happiness, and has begun movilization against said nation. Already our first units are taking their positions near the MEH's borders, and more are on their way. Our intentions are to join this coalition in its efforts to defeat the MEH. Hopefully you will accept.

So says the Central State.

---

An inhabitant from the Island of Cars.

FROM: Office of the High Minister of the Imperial Ministry of the Ambassadory, Pfhor Prime
TO: The Inhumanist League
CC: Diplomatic Offices of all Known Inhumanist League Members [Bragulans, Chamarrans, Eoghans, Idurans, The Refuge]

-------

Most Respectful Greetings,

We of the Pfhor Empire, after much deliberation, have decided to formally request membership in this new, auspicious organization of like-minded peoples. We hope that together, we can accomplish what our nations individually could not, and collectively safeguard our futures in a galaxy that promises to grow ever more perilous with each passing year.

To this end, and futhermore with the interest of establishing cordial diplomatic contact with peoples that we hope shall soon become our friends and allies, we are dispatching diplomatic fleets to each of your nations in a week's time. These fleets shall each consist of one Light Cruiser, two Frigates, and two diplomatic yachts, with those vessels capable of bearing troops carrying a full complement of Imperial Guards.

Do not be alarmed at this; the Empire does not seek war with your nations. We merely take the safety of our diplomats with the utmost seriousness, and ask that you do the same.

When our ambassadors have arrived, they are prepared to discuss the future relationship of our respective nations, the possibility of establishing permanent embassies and cultural exchange programs, any grievances you feel your people may have with the Empire, and any other matters your diplomats may wish the bring up at this time.

If you do not wish for us to send such a fleet to your nation at this time, or are not listed as the recipient of such and wish to host our ambassadors, please correct our error posthaste.

Again, we would like to express our admiration of all of your varied peoples and cultures, and our desire to remain in friendly contact.

In the Emperor's Name,
High Minister of the Ambassadory Hlsfard of the Pale, 5th Duke of the Palelands

-------

BRAGULAN RESPONSE TO THE OFFICE OF THE HIGH MINISTER OF THE IMPERIAL MINISTRY OF THE AMBASSADORY
From the People's Department of Limited Foreign Interaction and Human Affairs

Bragule will receive the Pfhor diplomatic fleet and will send them coordinates to an approved de-militarized meeting zone in the Bragulan Star Empire.

It is the belief of the great Imperator, Darvyl Sagatantron Byzon, Happy Friend of All People, that the Pfhor and the Star Empire have mutual interests in both regional Koprulu Zone affairs and the greater galactic cosmopolitical situation and can work together for make benefit both our glorious nations.

Let us together work for a more prosperous future for our great and noble peoples in their long march to create cosmic harmony between all nations!

---

shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

To: The Ambassador
From: The Karlack Swarm

...

We see the benefit. This matter needs to be discussed further. A meeting shall be arranged. Name your conditions for an adequate location.

...

BRAGULAN MESSAGE TO THE OFFICE OF THE HIGH MINISTER OF THE IMPERIAL MINISTRY OF THE AMBASSADORY OF PFHOR PRIME
From the People's Department of Limited Foreign Interaction and Human Affairs

Bragule cordially invites the diplomatic warships of the Pfhor to the Bragulan Star Empire. The specific coordinates are as follows:

- Bolshaya Chernovyi, antispinward edgespace quadrant, Space Sector X-27 adjacent to the Wilderspace Apexai Dead Sector (W-27) -

While our good peoples discuss a bright and prosperous future of mutual cooperation to work for common interests and against common threats, we also offer an opportunity for your diplomatic warships to engage in exercises and maneuvers with Bragule’s Kosmoflott Grozhyskhov stationed in Bolshaya Chernovyi. Should this offer be accepted, the Pfhor may bring a slightly larger amount of diplomatic warships for its fleet. The exercises will be held in the antispinward Wilderspaces of the Apexai deadzone.

---

shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

FROM: Office of the High Minister of the Imperial Ministry of the Ambassadory, Pfhor Prime
TO: The People's Department of Limited Foreign Interaction and Human Affairs

We are delighted to have this opportunity to engage in exercises with your Navy. We shall send a detachment of warships from Battle Group Seven, one of our finest fleets, with our diplomatic vessels.

May this meeting foster a new age of friendship between our peoples.

In the Emperor's Name,
High Minister of the Ambassadory Hlsfard of the Pale, 5th Duke of the Palelands

WIDE-BAND HYPERWAVE
FROM: ADMIRAL JOSBEK, COMMANDING FEDERATED ASCENDANCY OMINOUS FORCES
TO: SOLDIERS, SPACERS, CITIZENS OF THE MEH

MEHmen! Your plight is bleak indeed - fleets smashed, planets bombarded, Goddess impotent against the forces of OMINOUS. Surrender is your only option if you wish to save your worlds and your lives. Know that the Federated Ascendancy will accept the surrender of any local or planetary government, any military unit, or any private citizen, and extend its protection to that government, unit, or citizen.

Vive l'Ascendance!
Tav Josbek, Admiral of the Ascendant Starfleet

---

Conversion Table:

2000 Mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds
Basic Unit of Laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower
453.6 Graham Crackers = 1 Pound Cake
1 Kilogram of Falling Figs - 1 Fig Newton
Time Between Slipping on a Banana Peel and Smacking the Pavement = 1 Bananosecond
Half of a Large Intestine = 1 Semicolon

WIDE-BAND HYPERWAVE
FROM: GRAND ADMIRAL NOSLEN YESLAH, COMMANDING CENTRALITY COALITION FORCES
TO: SOLDIERS, SAILORS, CITIZENS OF THE MEH

People of the MEH!

The days of your Empire are ending! Your fleets have been smashed! Your armies have been devastated! Your planets have become war zones! Your so-called Goddess cannot protect you from the might of this Coalition! Therefore, those who wish to save themselves from becoming casualties, surrender! We are not savages! Any citizens, military units, or any local or planetary governments who surrender shall be treated fairly and safely! And we urge you, Leader of the MEH, to surrender unconditionally, or face death!

Long live the Central State!
Noslen Yeslah, Grand Admiral of the Central Navy

---

An inhabitant from the Island of Cars.

Long Range Hyperburst
Wideband, Public Channels

The United Solarian Sovereignty offers the right to seek and to enjoy asylum to all persons civilian and military fleeing the Multiversal Empire of Happiness. Those capable of reaching its sovereign territory will be protected from any and all persecution by coalition belligerents.

This offer extends to organic as well as robotic and computronic lifeforms.

The warp flux coordinates of the Tannhauser Gate can be found attached to this message...

xOLYMPIC

---

SDN World 2: The North Frequesuan Trust
SDN World 3: The Sultanate of Egypt
SDN World 4: The United Solarian Sovereignty

There'll be a bodycount, we're gonna watch it rise
The folks at CNN, they won't believe their eyes

Open Channel Transmission
From: The Refuge, Contact and Diplomacy Division, Local Powers Liaison
To: Emir of Emirs Hani Salaam al-Mussawi of the United Araynist Emirates


Our greetings to you and your fledgling nation. It is an unfortunate consequence of our rapid and abrupt entrance in the galactic scene and need to secure our own borders that we have had to neglect our closest neighbors.

This current course of affairs cannot and should not be continued. We wish to begin open diplomatic relations with your nation, and are willing to send envoys to begin talks and accept same to our own facilities at Grand Junction.

As a sign of our goodwill, we are as of this moment allowing free passage through our territories of all pilgrims on Hajj to the Black Asteroid, which we understand is an object of great religious significance to your peoples and many others. Should you decide to decline our offer, we will still grant free passage to the pilgrims unless advised otherwise. We do ask that this privilege not be abused for the avoidance of tolls for regular trade shipments; we will revoke it upon repeated violations of our goodwill.

We await your response and hope that our nations may begin an age of cooperation and mutual benefit.

---

DPDarkPrimus is my boyfriend!

SDNW4 Nation: The Refuge And, on Nova Terra, Al-Stan the Totally and Completely Honest and Legitimate Weapons Dealer and Used Starship Salesman slept on a bed made of money, with a blaster under his pillow and his sombrero pulled over his face. This is to say, he slept very well indeed.

From the Office of Hani Salaam al-Mussawi, Emir of Emirs of the United Araynist Emirates
To the Refuge, Contact and Diplomacy Division, Local Powers Liaison

The United Araynist Emirates shall accept your offer graciously and with thanks, and it would be a supreme pleasure to receive your envoys and in turn to send envoys of our own to your lands. May Allah and the Prophet Muhammad, blessed be his name, take notice of your acts and bring divine fortune to your nation and your people for the kindness you have extended to the pilgrims partaking in the Space Hajj to Makkha. We shall do our utmost to ensure that none abuse the hospitality of the Refuge and, in return, we shall open our space to civilian traffic from your nation, our ports shall welcome your travelers in peace, and the Emiratis will render aid to any stricken Refugee ship that is in our space.

It is the hope of His Excellence the Emir of Emirs Hani Salaam al-Mussawi that peace and stability shall reign in all the nations of the Outlands.


As-Salāmu `Alaykum

---

shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!