From: Katya Perry, Director, Wairen Bureau
To: Ludwig Gottlieb, Foreign Secretary of the Prussian Star League
BCC: Maxim Chernov, Second Technarch for Foreign Affairs

The King is displeased that negotiations between your nation and the Technocracy of Umeria have broken down over the Volksland issue. She wishes greatly that it can be resolved to satisfaction. Failure to do so may result in unpleasant consequences.

For the King,
// SIGNED //
Katya Perry

--

From: Katya Perry, Director, Wairen Bureau
To:Ravin Nostrum, Foreign Secretary of the Centrality

Tianguo would be interested in helping to resolve the xeno-pirate problem. We would be able to dedicate multiple cruiser and carrier squadrons to doing so. We would be able to do so for up to 1/2 Terran standard year.

For the King,
// SIGNED //
Katya Perry

---

"preemptive killing of cops might not be such a bad idea from a personal saftey[sic] standpoint..." --Keevan Colton
"There's a word for bias you can't see: Yours." -- William Saletan

From: Ravin Nostrum, Foreign Secretary of the Centrality
To: The Hon. James R. Hiromoto: Minister of Defense

We are interested in such information about the pirates you have been able to gather. How fast do you expect this Intelligence can be transmitted to our Intelligence service? Also, are you willing to send warships to aid us against the pirates? We do not like last-minute surprises.

Sincerely,

Ravin Nostrum, Foreign Secretary of the Centrality

---

An inhabitant from the Island of Cars.

From: Ravin Nostrum, Foreign Secretary of the Centrality
To: Katya Perry, Director, Wairen Bureau

We accept Tianguo's offer. Be aware that operations are expected to begin in June, so we would be pleased if your earmarked forces are ready by then.

Sincerely,

Ravin Nostrum, Foreign Secretary of the Centrality

---

An inhabitant from the Island of Cars.

From:
Maxim Chernov, Second Technarch for Foreign Affairs

To:
-Katya Perry, Director, Wairen Bureau [Tianguo]
-Ludwig Gottlieb, Foreign Secretary of the Prussian Star League
-HM Foreign Office [Altacar]

As of today, April 5, 3400, negotations with the Prussian Star League on the subject of the planet Volksland would appear to be making progress. In an effort to ensure that the interests of the Grand Trunk powers are met, the Technocracy of Umeria proposes the following:

-That a conference be held between the four main signatories to the Grand Trunk Accords: Tianguo, Umeria, Prussia, and Altacar. The goal of this conference will be to draw up an appendix to the Accords, specifically on the matter of Volksland.

-The opening Umerian proposal at this conference will be that a multinational force of light starships be used to secure the system against intrusion, while guaranteeing its neutrality in the event of hostilities.

-That the planet Volksland be declared a Prussian mandate, to be administered by Prussia, but with oversight from the other three Trunk powers: Tianguo, Umeria, and Altacar. Over the long run, this mandate will be governed with an eye towards the restoration of the planet's independence.

-That the conference convene in July on Altacar, as it is arguably the most neutral participant and the one least dependent on the fate of Volksland. If the Altacarans do not wish to host the conference, the Technocracy offers its own offices for the purpose, or is open to holding the meetings in Tianguo. At this time we are averse to holding the negotiations in Prussian space, but will consider doing so if it is the consensus of the other powers that this be done.

From the office of the Detective General of the SPS

The SPS will be sending a police task force of 12 ships to help in taking and assessing the pirate base. The navy informs me that they will have ships standing by as a reserve, but do not specify what shall be sent. The reserves will include an 80,000 man Army Group standing very close at paw hand for the taking of the planet.

Detective General Iudocus, Commander SPS

From: Grand Admiral Noslen Yeslah, Chief of Staff of the Navy
To: General Iudocus, Commander of the SPS

(tightbeam message)

Sir,

We accept your offer of a police task force. Be aware that operations on our side start in June, so it it best for you to be prepared by then. A rendevous location is also needed. Does Sector H-11 sound good for you?

Regards,

Grand Admiral Noslen Yeslah, Chief of Staff of the Navy

---

An inhabitant from the Island of Cars.

1 July 3400
General Transmission, Broadcast to all Sectors
From: The Refuge
Contact and Diplomacy Division


We formally and officially announce our presence. We are the Refuge. We have arrived to these stars from far distant ones in the hopes of living here in peace, prosperity, and happiness. To further these aims, we wish to open relations with all willing nations and peoples with the desire that all may share in the harvests of their labor and thought.

Friendship and alliance will be met in kind, as will hostilities. Neutrality will be respected, so long as no harm may come of indirect or unintentional means.

The Refuge claims four sectors of space (locations and coordinates to be included at the end of the transmission). The three colonies are open to all who come in peace. Missions of diplomacy or national interest should arrive at the Grand Junction. The Prime Refuge is not to be visited except with express permission of the Contact and Diplomacy Division, although neutral vessels will be allowed to pass through hyperspace under a military escort, and only after registering at the Escort Stations at either end of the hyperspace lane. Any unauthorized attempts to access Prime Refuge will be met with lethal force.

Major nations will be contacted individually to request an acceptance of a diplomatic and first contact delegation to open relations between the nation and the Refuge. Minor nation-states and extra-governmental associations and businesses may contact Refuge officials at Grand Junction for negotiations or requests for agreements.

The Refuge
Contact and Diplomacy Division

Addendum: Coordinates of Prime Refuge and three colonies

---

DPDarkPrimus is my boyfriend!

SDNW4 Nation: The Refuge And, on Nova Terra, Al-Stan the Totally and Completely Honest and Legitimate Weapons Dealer and Used Starship Salesman slept on a bed made of money, with a blaster under his pillow and his sombrero pulled over his face. This is to say, he slept very well indeed.

[General form request, sent by tight-beam to the nation in question and to most nations, with some minor alterations made as needed]

To: [Relevant party of nation]
From: The Refuge
Contact and Diplomacy Division

Salutations and wishes of well-being from the Refuge:

The Refuge wishes to send a diplomatic and first contact party to your nation in order to open formal relations and discuss the possibilities of embassies, trade, and other matters of state. We request permission to send a delegation. They can arrive by warp gate or by hyperspace.

The diplomatic party will arrive with a military escort. Our party must be treated with the respect normally given to foreign officials and ambassadors. Any attempts at harm, mistreatment or coercion will not be met lightly.

We will bring gifts for an exchange with the hopes that we may mutually benefit each other.

May our future contacts be fruitful and lead to ever-greater friendship, understanding, and gain.

- The Refuge
Contact and Diplomacy Division

* * *
[Example of alterations to the general form letter from transmission to the Bragulan Star Empire]
The Refuge does not include any human or near-human species...We are particularly interested in your vegemite.

* *
[Most major exception to the above]

To: The Emissaries of Xylyx
From: The Refuge
Contact and Diplomacy Division
Department of Theological Defense

It is of the utmost importance that we speak with your nation as soon as possible. A diplomatic and contact team, including an AI Mind core, will be sent to discuss matters. We would prefer to send the team by warp gate, but if this is refused we will send one by hyperspace. Refusal to accept any of our ambassadors by any means or failure to return the full diplomatic and contact team unharmed and unaltered will be considered an act and an effective declaration of war.

-The Refuge
Contact and Diplomacy Division
Department of Theological Defense

---

DPDarkPrimus is my boyfriend!

SDNW4 Nation: The Refuge And, on Nova Terra, Al-Stan the Totally and Completely Honest and Legitimate Weapons Dealer and Used Starship Salesman slept on a bed made of money, with a blaster under his pillow and his sombrero pulled over his face. This is to say, he slept very well indeed.

[swept-to-tightbeam, hypercast on diplomatic frequencies, received @ n3.54.657.3400+]
(Signal sequence #e24871/1387, relay:)

To: The Refuge

The United Solarian Sovereignty hereby grants your request to send a delegation by warp gate, and confirms that your party will be treated with the courtesy befitting their standing as diplomatic envoys.

Upon arrival at the Solaris Stargate your delegation will be assigned a priority starlane towards the Sovereign Center Skyhook on Solaris Major by Solaris Local Control. You may not deviate from this course. Any attempt to do so will be viewed as a hostile act.

Your transmission indicated your mission will arrive with a military escort. Be advised that this escort may not under any circumstance exceed 200 galactic standard units. Surpassing this limit will be viewed as a hostile act.

We are looking forward to opening formal relations with you.

xOLYMPIC

---

SDN World 2: The North Frequesuan Trust
SDN World 3: The Sultanate of Egypt
SDN World 4: The United Solarian Sovereignty

There'll be a bodycount, we're gonna watch it rise
The folks at CNN, they won't believe their eyes

5 July 3400

To: The Refuge
Diplomacy and Contact Division
From: The Shinra Republic
Department of Foreign Affairs

We welcome your diplomatic and first contact team, and will afford your party a priority AAAA-1 for the Midgar Warp Gate. Please be advised that under current Republic law, transit through the Midgar Warp Gate is normally limited to a single ship of {$150}. However, a special waiver has been granted for your diplomatic team and military escort of no more than four (4) ships totalling {$250}.

We look forward to establishing contact and friendly relations with your government.

William Wright
Secretary of State

BRAGULAN BROADCAST TO THE REFUGE, CONTACT AND DIPLOMACY DIVISION
From the People's Department of Limited Foreign Interaction and Human Affairs

By the grace of the great Imperator Darvyl S. Byzon I, the Bragulan Star Empire grants the Refuge permission to send its diplomatic first contact party to mighty Bragule. The delegation is advised to travel by warp gate, as it is the most expedient method, and they shall be welcomed with the traditional Bragulan courtesies extended to those who come to mighty Bragule in peace, as they shall be granted the peace of Bragule in return.

For health reasons, the Refuge delegation is instructed to follow the attached security protocols* expected of foreign space transits to the Imperial world-throne. Violation of these protocols will be counterproductive to cosmopolitical comradeship and kinship.

The Bragulan Star Empire anticipates making first contact with your polity and your proletarian peoples, who you have noted to be greatly inhuman, and welcomes their arrival and added inhumanity to known space. Further arrangements and discussions on specific matters of interest shall be take place after the arrival of your envoy, where cordial and peaceful dialogues will hopefully bear fruit and begin relations between our two great inhuman nations.


*Attached protocols, detailing specific route to Bragule and military ship-force limitations (nothing more than 200 points).

---

shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

From: The Centrality's Center of Foreign Affairs, First Contact Section
To: The Refuge's Contact and Diplomacy Division

Greetings,

We are the Centrality. We share your desires of diplomatic relations, and thus we will accept the safe passage of your assigned diplomatic party. We hope that our relations will be cordial.

Sincerely,

Tagdef Borlon, Secretary of Foreign Affairs
Ravin Nostrum, Foreign Secretary of the Centrality
Lagis Fronte, Director of First Contact Section

---

An inhabitant from the Island of Cars.

From:
Dr. Michael O'Connell, First Technarch
Dr. Maxim Chernov, Second Technarch for Foreign Affairs

To:
The Refuge's Contact and Diplomacy Division

The Technocracy of Umeria greets the Refuge. Though we are remote from the region of space you occupy, we are prepared to welcome your diplomatic and first contact parties to the best of our ability, should you desire to send such parties. If there are any accomodations you would like made for your envoys in advance, such as environmental conditions that diverge from those optimal for humans or fixed provisions of communications bandwidth, we would appreciate advance information on your preferences.

Given the distances involved a warp gate transit would seem in order. For the sake of a smooth warp transfer and easy traffic control, we would like advance warning of the planned warp transit at least twenty kiloseconds* in advance. We here in Umeria have had recent, needlessly awkward experience of the consequences of unexpected gate transfers.

We would like to inquire as to whether you would prefer to power the transition from your end, or whether you would care to send us the necessary data to power the transition from our end.**

*Appendix defining the "second" in terms of readily measured physical constants is attached as a courtesy, just in case there was any question. Twenty kiloseconds is about six hours.
**Realistically, the Refuge will almost certainly power the transition from their end, rather than sending the Umerians technical readouts on their warp gate; I imagine you need to know certain details about a warp gate to activate it remotely. The Umerians' data is a matter of public record, which is why the Bragulans were able to pull that trick with the gunskimmer. If the Refuge needs to know anything, the Umerians will send it 'off screen' in a future message.

---

[Author's Note: Since this is of unusual importance, the First Technarch put his signature on it too. Also note that mass constraints on the use of warp gates make restrictions on the tonnage the Refuge sends to escort their envoys largely superfluous from the Umerian perspective, so unlike most others we do not feel any real need to arbitrarily impose limits beyond that point. If they can throw a militarily significant force a thousand light years over a pair of warp gates, better we find out now during the courtesy visit than later]

FROM:
Franz Hoffman, Reichskanzler

TO:
The Refuge's Contact and Diplomacy Division

The Prussian Star League accepts your offer of diplomacy and first contact. We will greet you to the best of our ability, and accept the safe passage of your diplomatic and military vessels.

FROM: Her Excellency Countess Gloriana Proeliam of Gray Peak, Her Ascendant Ladyship's Minister for Foreign Affairs
TO: The Refuge, Contact and Diplomacy Division

Gentlebeings;

The Federated Ascendancy welcomes the Refuge to the galactic stage; peaceful nations are few and far between in these troubled times, and we welcome the presence of another. Your diplomatic mission shall of course be granted transit rights through the Firmament Warp gate.

Countess Proeliam, etc.

---

Conversion Table:

2000 Mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds
Basic Unit of Laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower
453.6 Graham Crackers = 1 Pound Cake
1 Kilogram of Falling Figs - 1 Fig Newton
Time Between Slipping on a Banana Peel and Smacking the Pavement = 1 Bananosecond
Half of a Large Intestine = 1 Semicolon

GENERAL BRAGULAN BROADCAST
From the People's Department of Limited Foreign Interaction and Human Affairs

In the name of the mighty Imperator whose generosity knows no bounds, and in concordance with his policies of glasnot and bragstroika stated in the Fifty Year Plan, the glourious Star Empire of Bragule invites all of its friends - representing independent entities and great comrade-nations alike - to partake in the latest Bragulan Economic Exposition Extravaganza of Friendship (BEEEF) held within an undisclosed and secure location deep inside the fortified bowels of Bragulan territory.

The Bragulan Economic Exposition Extravaganza of Friendship (BEEEF) will showcase not only the latest and greatest in superior Bragulan products for exportation, but will also be a place where aliens, strange foreigners, independent entities, and great comrade-nations alike can offer their own produces, should they be judged worthy of the Empire and Imperator.

The Bragulan Economic Exposition Extravaganza of Friendship (BEEEF) is a wonderful place for the formation of comradely contracts and direct dealings. The Bragulan Star Empire recommends that visitors bring their families and children with them to the BEEEF to learn the wonderful marvels of Bragulanity!

All species from all nations are invited.

---

shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

FROM: Her Excellency Countess Gloriana Proeliam, Countess Proeliam; Board of Directors of Vinhive Fleet Yards, Firmament
TO: People's Department of Limited Foreign Interaction and Human Affairs of the Bragulan Star Empire

The goverment of the Federated Ascendancy wishes to extend its congratulations on the excellent idea of the BEEEF, and announces that it shall, assuming no objection, send an official delegation/exhibit.

In cooperation with Vinhive Fleet Yards, the government of the Federated Ascendancy is pleased to announce that this delegation/exhibit will be accompanied by the return of two formerly-Bragulan warships captured from pirate forces, as a gesture of goodwill.

With the best of wishes,
Countess Proeliam
Vinhive Board of Directors

---

Conversion Table:

2000 Mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds
Basic Unit of Laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower
453.6 Graham Crackers = 1 Pound Cake
1 Kilogram of Falling Figs - 1 Fig Newton
Time Between Slipping on a Banana Peel and Smacking the Pavement = 1 Bananosecond
Half of a Large Intestine = 1 Semicolon

BRAGULAN BROADCAST TO HER EXCELLENCY COUNTESS GLORIANA PROELIAM, COUNTESS PROELIAM; BOARD OF DIRECTORS OF VINHIVE FLEET YARDS, FIRMAMENT
From the People's Department of Limited Foreign Interaction and Human Affairs

The Bragulan Star Empire welcomes the Federated Ascendancy's official delegation/exhibit to the BEEEF.

Though there will be no refunds for the returned formerly-Bragulan warships captured from pirate forces, the Bragulan Star Empire nonetheless thanks the Federated Ascendancy for this gesture of goodwill towards not only the Bragulan Star Empire, but also towards the environment.

As per the Imperator's doctrines of environmental friendliness, the returned ships will be recycled in an ecologically healthy manner - as environmentally friendly Bragulan technologies will also be displayed in the BEEEF.

The BEEEF is scheduled for the last quarter of FY3400 and will display various Bragulan themes to audiences and spectators, first of which being Bragulan environmental friendliness.

---

shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

June 11, 3400

From: Maxim Chernov, Second Technarch for Foreign Affairs
To: Ravin Nostrum, Foreign Secretary of the Centrality

In light of the unexpected scale of resistance by the Zebesian Pirates, the Technocracy of Umeria has concluded that this is a matter of greater importance to the interstellar community than the Council had previously believed. To express our support of operations against the pirates, and as a gesture of international goodwill towards our co-belligerents against them, we are dispatching the Second Intervention Task Force.*

Outfitting and flight time constraints mean that TF IV4 will arrive on or about July 1; when it does arrive, it will also be carrying the Sixth Strike Corps, composed of four combined-arms Strike divisions.

---

*Author's note: This is a much heavier formation than the ones we fielded before, with an naval offensive point value of 1120 points and 40 points of ground troops attached. This brings our contribution more into line with that of, say, Tianguo. By the time they get there and are ready to do anything, though, much may have happened.

FROM: The Karlack Swarm
TO: The People's Department of Limited Foreign Interaction and Human Affairs

A representative of the Swarm shall attend. Due to our nature and the galactic view of our species, It will be a humanoid representative, so as to not frighten the Bragulan guests or cause any unduly incident.

Please inform us if any special arrangements for our presence are needed.

***

From: Ravin Nostrum, Foreign Secretary of the Centrality
To: Maxim Chernov, Second Technarch for Foreign Affairs

We plan to reinforce our forces as well. Another Task Force of similar composition to the one present at H-12 will be sent, as well as a Vice-Admiral to command both. Since we are nearer to the battlefront, we expect this task force to arrive late in June, due to logistical reasons.

---

An inhabitant from the Island of Cars.

BRAGULAN BROADCAST TO THE KARLACK SWARM
From the People's Department of Limited Foreign Interaction and Human Affairs

The Bragulan Star Empire coldly* welcomes the Karlack representative to the BEEEF and encourages the Swarm to showcase its various innovative and interesting products to the rest of the galaxy. A special stall will be provided to the representative with inverse osmosis systems, to prevent any occurrence of... spore allergies and hay fever amongst sensitive guests.

As the BEEEF presents the Swarm with a wonderful opportunity of peacefully interacting with representatives from the rest of the galaxy, the Bragulan Star Empire will assure that the Swarm is placed in a prominent place in the BEEEF's program.


*In Bragule, cold is good! So "coldly welcomes" = "warmly welcomes" in human terms!

---

shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

FROM: Mistress of Bragulan affairs Satia Kithandra on behalf of House Kithandra, Chamarran Hierarchy.
To: The People's department of limited foreign interaction and human affairs, Bragulan star empire.

In light of the new last Caturday plan the Chamarran Hierarchy will with the Benevolent permission of the Imperious Imperator send both representatives and exhibitions of Hierarchy exports to attend the Glorious BEEEF.

---

STGOD SDNW4 player. Chamarran Hierarchy Catgirls in space!

BRAGULAN RESPONSE TO THE MISTRESS OF BRAGULAN AFFAIRS
From the People's Department of Limited Foreign Interaction and Human Affairs

The Bragulan Star Empire will glowingly* receive the good Chamarran representatives and exhibitions for the BEEF. In the spirit of friendship and camaraderie amongst the glourious Star Empire's comrade-nations, the Chamarran representatives and exhibitions allocated position shall be placed beside that of the Karlacks' for the occurrence of beneficient proximally co-existent mutualisms!



[*Glowingly is another positive term for Bragulans, derived from the positive connotations glowing thermonuclear radioactivity has for Bragulans.]

[ ]

---

shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

GENERAL CENTRALITY BROADCAST
From the Center of Foreign Affairs
1 August 3400

[Dr. Nuvo Vindi-like voice]

We are pleased to host and announce the 1100th ESPer Tournament, where ESPers compete in a variety of activities! Sports, Gymnastics, Combat... we have it all! And even better: ESPers from outside the Centrality are allowed to enter...THE TOURNAMENT! The rules are very simple, of course:

- No killing! Blood we may tolerate, but murder results in instant arrest and expulsion!
- No cheating! We despise cheaters, though the punishment is a tad lighter compared to that for murder! Which is saying it mildly!
- Don't be late! If you fail to register in time, you have no further business in the Centrality and will get the boot if you stay for too long!
- Read the List of Forbidden Stuff in the Centrality before you arrive! That way the police will not arrest you for contraband!
- Mind your own business! We do not want problems for whatever place you came! This especially applies to those hostile to the Centrality!
- There are other rules, of course, but those are in the Tournament Rulebook, so acquire that when you can!

We hope you ESPers out there recieve this message and come to participate! We are waiting for you! Toodles!

EDIT:

Oh, wait! The Tournament is in planet Faust, capital of Dovan Sector. That is N-9 for the less-enlightened ones! That is all!

---

An inhabitant from the Island of Cars.