SDNWorld Redux: Story Thread the First.

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Post by MKSheppard »

Fuckland Islands

The remnants of the Old Dominion invasion force dug in grimly into the sides of what little hills passed for high ground in the Fucklands. Their numbers had been reduced heavily by the initial Shepistani airstrikes which had started this whole war.

While the San Fuegan airstrike package had been savaged by the surprise appearance of Tian Xian Carriers amongst the OD's ships, the Fucklands had had no such help; with the Shepistani B-56s and KC-22s slipping past the damaged OD battlegroup to rain down death onto the island in the form of thousand pound bombs and from the Daisy Cutters that had been loaded onto a few KC-22s which had travelled amongst the bombers.

Most defenses on the island had been knocked out by the stand off missiles that had been launched earlier; so the KC-22s had near free reign to roam and drop their bombs....

Image
Photo of a Dasy Cutter detonating above OD Troops

After the savaging of the OD troops on that first day of the war; the other MESS nations had hurriedly flown in reinforcements via cargo planes to back up the OD forces in case of a Shepistani invasion. So far it hadn't come yet; but that didn't ease up the stress that each soldier felt as he scanned the sea's horizon for the shapes of landing craft...

Results
Troops in the Fucklands are tense/bored; and digging in wherever they can; most of the troops who were on the Fucklands on D-Day have been flown out as psychiatric stress cases and replaced with fresh ones.
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Post by Steve »

Jorge Velasquez Legislative Building
San Magdalena, Rosario Province
Republic of Cascadia
17 April 2009


The negotiations had dragged on for a month for Peter Wells, during which he had endured the fiery passions of the Sabika emissary Gensa Jurgens and the replacement of the hardline Col. Kevin Luntal of Coilerberg after the recent shakeup with a more amenable, and civilian, emissary - Jalal Heshan. Col. Luntal's replacement had prevented the peace talks from breaking down from the fiery old colonel's insistance that the two smaller countries limit not just the size but armament of their forces.

The arbitration process was mostly limited now to the fact that even Heshan did not feel he could amend his nation's demand that both Sabika and Omango be forbidden from purchasing jet aircraft Jurgens had steadfastly refused to render his nation's air force so feeble. Omango's emissary, Hadrian Kalesh, seemed far more accomodating, pressed by the deterioriating situation back in his homeland where the war had never been popular.

After some discussions, Wells now thought he had something of a solution to this impasse, possibly the final one to be jumped over before a peace treaty could be finalized.

"The nations of Sabika and Omango will not be permitted to field jet aircraft of aggressive capability," he began, "but they would be permitted to field a force of jets purely for self-defense against air attack, the models to be determined by joint agreement of your governments with the aid of advisors from the Cascadian Air Force to determine suitability for these intentions. Their air force stocks will be monitored by a joint commission to ensure only air-to-air missiles and weapon systems are procured. I believe such a term should be satisfactory for the purpose of easing Coilerburg concerns and providing their neighbors with air defense beyond ground-based capabilities...."
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Post by MKSheppard »

Armistice Agreement of Harper's Ferry

Be it so resolved that as of 2400 Hours, on [X] date; that the state of hostility between the Islamic Republic of Shepistan and the Old Dominion is terminated via armistice agreement, the terms of which are laid down as:

1.) MESS/OD forces to withdraw from the West Fucklands, returning it to Shepistani control.

2.) MESS/OD forces to withdraw from the Republic of San Fuego after an international oversight body consisting of the CSR/IRT/FUN/Cascadian nations arrives to oversee the peace and ensure the neutrality and independence of the San Fuegan republic.

3.) MESS/OD/Shepistani forces to withdraw from the territory universally known as 'Chesapeake', pending the arrival of a CSR/IRT/FUN/Cascadian peacekeeping and neutrality force to ensure that Chesapeake remains demilitarized.

4.) All Combatant forces to withdraw elsewhere to pre-war borders.

5.) That the Islamic Republic of Shepistan's military be limited to 80% of that of the Old Dominion, with independent auditors from the MESS and IRT having access to Shepistani budget documents to assure compliance.

6.) That MESS forces withdraw completely from the Old Dominion's Territories, and maintain no prepositioned depots of supplies. Exceptions are made for specialist units supporting the MESS Space Program, military liasons in the Hexagon and elsewhere, specialist schools, etc which require a presence in the Old Dominion (personnel training).

6.) That the rights of sovereignity claimed by the Old Dominion and the Islamic Republic of Shepistan over the disputed region known as 'Kanehewa' is indisputable and irrevokable.

Signed here at the Village of Peace, Harpers Ferry, along the DMZ, in the year of our Spaghetti Lord 3134.

General Al-Sheppard
/s/ Al-Sheppard
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by Lonestar »

Armistice Agreement of Harper's Ferry

Be it so resolved that as of 2400 Hours, on [X] date; that the state of hostility between the Islamic Republic of Shepistan and the Old Dominion is terminated via armistice agreement, the terms of which are laid down as:

1.) MESS/OD forces to withdraw from the West Fucklands, returning it to Shepistani control.

2.) MESS/OD forces to withdraw from the Republic of San Fuego after an international oversight body consisting of the CSR/IRT/FUN/Cascadian nations arrives to oversee the peace and ensure the neutrality and independence of the San Fuegan republic.

3.) MESS/OD/Shepistani forces to withdraw from the territory universally known as 'Chesapeake', pending the arrival of a CSR/IRT/FUN/Cascadian peacekeeping and neutrality force to ensure that Chesapeake remains demilitarized.

4.) All Combatant forces to withdraw elsewhere to pre-war borders.

5.) That the Islamic Republic of Shepistan's military be limited to 80% of that of the Old Dominion, with independent auditors from the MESS and IRT having access to Shepistani budget documents to assure compliance.

6.) That MESS forces withdraw completely from the Old Dominion's Territories, and maintain no prepositioned depots of supplies. Exceptions are made for specialist units supporting the MESS Space Program, military liasons in the Hexagon and elsewhere, specialist schools, etc which require a presence in the Old Dominion (personnel training).

6.) That the rights of sovereignity claimed by the Old Dominion and the Islamic Republic of Shepistan over the disputed region known as 'Kanehewa' is indisputable and irrevokable.

Signed here at the Village of Peace, Harpers Ferry, along the DMZ, in the year of our Spaghetti Lord 3134.

For the Old Dominion
M.B. "Lonestar" Bucher
The Lord Fairfax

Brent Roderick Wythe
35th Lord Wythe
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Post by MKSheppard »

Elsewhere

The SSANs cruising under the waves slowly received the ELF code-letter groups which told them to break off all offensive operations unless fired upon.

Northern Beachhead

For the first time in days, the MESS troops could hear the sound of the wind whistling through the dead trees as the incessant artillery fire off in the distance slowly died off.
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by MKSheppard »

Armistice Agreement of Harper's Ferry, Amendment One

1.) That all prisoners of war being held by either side be repatriated within a reasonable time frame.

2.) That all human remains being held by either side be repatriated within a reasonable time frame.

Signed here at the Village of Peace, Harpers Ferry, along the DMZ, in the year of our Spaghetti Lord 3134.

General Al-Sheppard
/s/ Al-Sheppard
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by Master_Baerne »

Baernish Ministry of War
RoE Change - All Submarine Forces
FROM: Her Excellency Countess Truman, Minister for War
TO: All Submarine COs

Sirs and Madams,

The provision in your orders permitting engagement on reasonable suspicion had been rescinded, as Shepistan has just signed an armistice. Rules of Engagement are now PT-DEF 2

Baerne Invictus,
Countess Truman
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Post by Sea Skimmer »

Super Mega New Tokyo
Outside a Special Session of The Imperial Diet


Chrysanthemum Fuehrer Uesugi Kenshin was pleased as he strolled out of the building to meet the waiting cameras and questions of the obedient Japanistani press. The Shepistan aid package, bombastically named the Bulwark against Imperialism Fund had been resoundingly approved by the House of Peers, and had cleared the House of Representatives with a minimal of delay. As the voice of the Emperor it was Kenshins duty to ensure that vital legislature was passed, by any means necessary. The threat of barbarian gas bombing attacks however was enough to motivate even the most skeptical of the population into full scale support behind the new funding efforts.

“I am pleased to announced,” said Kenshin as the cameras closed in “That the Bulwark against Imperialism Program had been fully funded to the extend of 30 billion dollars over the next two years. Shepistan will be provided with an additional 30 billion dollars in loan guarantees for development and immediate aid.”

“And what of the Empires own defenses?” asked one reporter.

“This very evening,” replied Kenshin “The Diet will meet to consider the final draft of the Circle Blue Defence Buildup; certain departments have already be authorized to being soliciting bidding for projects. I can assure you; with this new funding the Emperor will have the proper tools with which to defend us all from the warmongering barbarians!”
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Post by Fingolfin_Noldor »

Shroom Man 777 wrote:At the Frequesquan Neutrality Conference

"Of course. The Sovereignty of Shroomania, its Mushroom Military and Parliament, have ratified the Continental Defense Plan. Also, we have made an about face in terms of defense spending. The budget has been upped to 3.7% of the total national GDP of Shroomania - bringing it to a startling 92 billion dollars.
Surely you can do better? We have upped our spending to about 6-8%, spending billions on our air defence systems, and air defence aircraft. We are building new warships to supplement our existing stock of warships. Perhaps we could interest you in our nuclear destroyers, which feature hypersonic missiles, or an enlarged Vertical Launch System.
"We are carrying out incremental upgrades of many of our systems, particularly in radar and command, control and communications systems, in concordance with the PeZookian-headed Continental Defense Plan - so that we may better coordinate with our allies in the SNC, and Canissia as well. We are also purchasing more fighters and more bombers, and are in fact working with PeZookia in producing more cruise missiles - many of which will be going to our submarine forces.
That will be excellent. Perhaps massive joint exercises are indeed in order.
"I've heard from some of my friends in the Mushroom Military," Melchett said slyly. "That Shroomania, and PeZookia, intends to use this submarine force as a kind of deterrent when certain new revolutionary advances in 'strategic systems' have been made. Of course, my friend, I am no expert military analyst - but rest assured that Shroomania has not been taking recent world affairs lightly, and we are in fact making sure that we are prepared to face any new situations with our pants on.
That is indeed interesting. Byzantium has been building more diesel and nuclear submarines, with the express interest in guarding our seas more vigilantly. We are building some new frigates that feature ultra sensitive sonar.

In fact, while we are on that topic, I have a proposal, I would like to request that we send ships under the Byzantine Salvaging Inc. to send salvage ships to the area in which I hear a Shroomanian supertanker sank. We are both heavily reliant on sea trade, and it will do us well to discover the cause of the sinking, and obtain evidence of it.
"Would it be acceptable to the members of the Slavic National Confederation, or at least Byzantium, if the Sovereignty of Shroomania was granted 'observer status' in the SNC?

"Shroomania is ethnically Germanglo-Saxon, not Slavic, but we believe that the SNC is quite a considerable force in the Old Continent and its members include our allies, PeZookia and Byzantium, as well as the CSR - who we are actively courting - and the USSR, which has been rife of surprising developments lately.

"You yourself sir have spoken of Old Continental neighbors aiding each other against potential threats, and we in Shroomania believe that increased cooperation, coordination and integration with our neighbors - many of whom are in the SNC - is imperative to this goal of mutual defense."
Stroking his beard, the Exarch replied, "From Byzantium's point of view, I do not see the Emperor objecting to your observer status. However, SNC rules through consensus, and Comrade Stas of the CSR often... has a last word on relations with Shroomania.

Yes, you can count on our support, though it will be put to a vote."
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

At the Frequesquan Neutrality Conference
Exarch Decius wrote:Surely you can do better? We have upped our spending to about 6-8%, spending billions on our air defence systems, and air defence aircraft. We are building new warships to supplement our existing stock of warships. Perhaps we could interest you in our nuclear destroyers, which feature hypersonic missiles, or an enlarged Vertical Launch System.
"Unfortunately, there's a firm hard cap set by those responsible for the budget in regards to military spending. Unlike the more ordered state of your government, where your Emperor is firmly on top and has the final say on military matters, for the Shroomanian government to function properly, some concessions and compromises have to be made, even by our Prime Minister.

"I'm sure you're familiar with the inner workings of our Parliament, maybe you've even caught one of the sessions live on pay per view TV," joked Melchett, referring to the oft-televised battle royales involving Shroomanian MPs. "However, the Mushroom Military is developing new defense systems. We are looking to doubling our strategic bomber force, to create a deterrent, and likewise when the fleet of Yer Mom-class guided missile submarines are completed, it will add another layer of formidability to our forces.

"We have been working on hypersonic missiles with PeZookia and... perhaps a naval upgrade program, in collaboration with Byzantium, may be in order?" Melchett offered with a smile. "However, I'm not in the MushMil, so I will have to pass on what we've discussed to my associates.
That will be excellent. Perhaps massive joint exercises are indeed in order.
"Perhaps. But I'd be wary of really massive joint exercises. Considering who is just a skip across the pond away from us, such a move may further intimidate and alienate them and force them into a position we may not want them to assume," Melchett replied, referring to Imperial Japanistan - which he was quite certain Exarch Decius would get. "Then again, this may be what we want. It will depend on how we carry it out. Massive joint exercises would require finesse and subtlety if one wants to send a message of strength without having to unnecessarily intimidate certain parties.
That is indeed interesting. Byzantium has been building more diesel and nuclear submarines, with the express interest in guarding our seas more vigilantly. We are building some new frigates that feature ultra sensitive sonar.

In fact, while we are on that topic, I have a proposal, I would like to request that we send ships under the Byzantine Salvaging Inc. to send salvage ships to the area in which I hear a Shroomanian supertanker sank. We are both heavily reliant on sea trade, and it will do us well to discover the cause of the sinking, and obtain evidence of it.
"It'll be difficult. The precise location of the Shroom Viking is unknown. If only FASTA had launched that proposed 'Global Positioning System' of theirs..."

Melchett pondered for a few seconds, before devising a cunning plan.

"Exarch Decius, I have a cunning plan. Why don't we have both our navies, and Byzantine Salvaging, work together to find the Shroom Viking while - at the same time - having a not-so-massive joint exercise under the cover of 'training in search and recovery operations'?"
Stroking his beard, the Exarch replied, "From Byzantium's point of view, I do not see the Emperor objecting to your observer status. However, SNC rules through consensus, and Comrade Stas of the CSR often... has a last word on relations with Shroomania.

Yes, you can count on our support, though it will be put to a vote."
"Ah, yes, General Secretary Stanislav. I hope that replying to letters sent by Shroomanian children will have warmed his heart and endeared him to my nation somewhat," Melchett said. "If Comrade Stas approves granting Shroomania observer status in the SNC, it would be a breakthrough in Crimson-Shroomanian relationships. We've been making progress in trying to achieve just that sort of thing, and it would be great if Byzantium could help in that.

"My friend, thank you, this conversation has been a most productive one for both our nations. If you'll excuse me, I have some matters to attend to, pertaining to another important international incident involving Shepistan and the Old Dominion," Melchett excused himself graciously, and Exarch Decius allowed him to do so. Before he left, though, Melchett had one last thing to say:

"By the way, I heard that you'll be seeing the San Doradoan delegate next? Please be nice, the Prime Minister is close friends with President Hank."


[OOC: Now that we've established stuff, we can scheme more privately Fingolfin!]



From: The Ministry of Shroomanian Homeland Affairs in Foreign Territories (SHAFT)
To: The Governments of the Old Dominion and the Islamic Republic of Shepistan


The cessation of hostilities between Shepistan and the Old Dominion is good news for those of us in the Sovereignty of Shroomania. However, though the war has ended, we are fully aware of the long and arduous process of recovery both your nations face in the wake of so much mutual destruction.

Roads and bridges have been bombed, factories laid to ruin, hospitals and orphanages burnt to the ground, dams busted, places of business and governance destroyed, and countless homes demolished. The material losses will be difficult to calculate, and even more so for the loss in human life.

Thus, in this time of peace, the economic and infrastructural reconstruction of both Shepistan and the Old Dominion is a pressing concern for those of us in Shroomania who wish for the speedy recovery of both of your nations and for the stabilization of the region.

The SHAFT would like to offer the services of Shroomanian companies, such as the MacMillan Megacorporation and the SchromKorp, in working for your governments in rebuilding your nation.

The Shroombender Corporation, Mushroom Meds, Funga Pharma, and other companies have already worked with your governments during the war to provide quality medical products to your wounded and injured, and have won contracts to continue doing so in the immediate post-war period.


Regards,
Melchett McMeistervater
Minister of SHAFT
Last edited by Shroom Man 777 on 2008-09-25 10:11am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Fingolfin_Noldor »

Shroom Man 777 wrote:At the Frequesquan Neutrality Conference
"Unfortunately, there's a firm hard cap set by those responsible for the budget in regards to military spending. Unlike the more ordered state of your government, where your Emperor is firmly on top and has the final say on military matters, for the Shroomanian government to function properly, some concessions and compromises have to be made, even by our Prime Minister.

"I'm sure you're familiar with the inner workings of our Parliament, maybe you've even caught one of the sessions live on pay per view TV," joked Melchett, referring to the oft-televised battle royales involving Shroomanian MPs. "However, the Mushroom Military is developing new defense systems. We are looking to doubling our strategic bomber force, to create a deterrent, and likewise when the fleet of Yer Mom-class guided missile submarines are completed, it will add another layer of formidability to our forces.
Guide missile submarines are incredibly expensive, which is why we never indulged in those. We considered a modified CSR Oscar II submarine, but the cost was just too high. Which is why we stuck with conventional warships, which can have the added advantage of serving as anti-air escorts.
"We have been working on hypersonic missiles with PeZookia and... perhaps a naval upgrade program, in collaboration with Byzantium, may be in order?" Melchett offered with a smile. "However, I'm not in the MushMil, so I will have to pass on what we've discussed to my associates.
Byzantium already deploys hypersonic missiles. On the naval missile side, we are working with CSR on a newer weapon that can be deployed on ships. But size is a problem. The ones we deployed on our bombers are too large. But that is given because of their speed and range. We might be able to deploy one in 2 years. Existing missiles are somewhat sufficient for our purposes.
"Perhaps. But I'd be wary of really massive joint exercises. Considering who is just a skip across the pond away from us, such a move may further intimidate and alienate them and force them into a position we may not want them to assume," Melchett replied, referring to Imperial Japanistan - which he was quite certain Exarch Decius would get. "Then again, this may be what we want. It will depend on how we carry it out. Massive joint exercises would require finesse and subtlety if one wants to send a message of strength without having to unnecessarily intimidate certain parties.
Quite frankly, after the bullshit Shepistan pulled, with no less a lot of Japanistani input, I am incredibly wary of Japanistan's actions, no less that they marshal a significant army that is right at Byzantium's doorstep. That and Shepistan's submarines, which has led our nation to identify submarine detection a priority, along with dealing with bomber swarms.
"It'll be difficult. The precise location of the Shroom Viking is unknown. If only FASTA had launched that proposed 'Global Positioning System' of theirs..."

Melchett pondered for a few seconds, before devising a cunning plan.

"Exarch Decius, I have a cunning plan. Why don't we have both our navies, and Byzantine Salvaging, work together to find the Shroom Viking while - at the same time - having a not-so-massive joint exercise under the cover of 'training in search and recovery operations'?"
That will be indeed possible. More so, when both our nations are decidedly neutral in the MESS-Shepistan conflict.
"Ah, yes, General Secretary Stanislav. I hope that replying to letters sent by Shroomanian children will have warmed his heart and endeared him to my nation somewhat," Melchett said. "If Comrade Stas approves granting Shroomania observer status in the SNC, it would be a breakthrough in Crimson-Shroomanian relationships. We've been making progress in trying to achieve just that sort of thing, and it would be great if Byzantium could help in that.
We'll do our best, probably at the next SNC meeting.
"My friend, thank you, this conversation has been a most productive one for both our nations. If you'll excuse me, I have some matters to attend to, pertaining to another important international incident involving Shepistan and the Old Dominion," Melchett excused himself graciously, and Exarch Decius allowed him to do so. Before he left, though, Melchett had one last thing to say:

"By the way, I heard that you'll be seeing the San Doradoan delegate next? Please be nice, the Prime Minister is close friends with President Hank."
Yes, I planned to. His Majesty expressed interest in visiting the FTO, but the FTO's performance has left me wondering if the FTO's obstinacy and sheer pandering to nationalism, will make such a visit of any worth.
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Post by Siege »

This… Is Station One, San Dorado’s News Source Supreme

Rocketday at the Rocketfields
Image

A busy day today at Camp Kittyhawk, as no less than three rockets were launched from the Rocketfields just southwest of San Dorado. First two Simoleon-D variant rockets pushed two FreeCom communications satellites into orbit. Then the Rocket Authority launched an experimental missile rumoured to be intended as a first stage of the Lucrelance heavy rocket that is under development by Ralson Aerospace.

Unfortunately it seems the engineers have their work cut out for them, as that missile exploded mere seconds after liftoff:

Image

In related news, the number FreeCom comsats to be launched has been scaled back from the originally planned 48 to 29 satellites. The backscaling of the network is the result of an agreement signed between San Dorado’s FreeCom and Shroomania’s budding Chanterelle Cornucopian Communications Corporation to jointly build a network composed of both satellites and stratellites.

The San Doradan/Shroomanian joint venture is expected to dramatically scale back the cost of the global communications network, whilst simultaneously greatly shortening the time it will take before the network is completed. An optimistic statement released by the joint venture, which thus far has no name, says that the network is expected to go ‘live’ by the end of this year.
Last edited by Siege on 2008-09-25 10:34am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

SCHROMKORP HIGH ALTITUDE RESEARCH PROJECT (SHAARP)

Image

The Hypersonic Cruise Missile had gone from prototype stage to production stage with remarkable speed. Due to cuts in the defense budget, the project had gone slower than its Byzantine equivalent, but with the ramping up of the Shroomanian and PeZookian defense budgets, the infusion of funds gave the project what it needed for its completion.

Though, to be honest, the missiles were actually ready for some time now - except that without an adequate source of funding, the missiles' creators had little incentive to mass-produce their designs. After all, if one was good at something, then why do it for free?

Part of the program's success was due to the fact that the projectiles were tested using the SHARP's trademark Giant Guns.

Image

And now, the Giant Guns' designs were for sale as well, just like the Hypersonic Cruise Missiles.


Results:
We get hypersonic missiles!
You can buy HUEG GUNS to blow up people across the border from you! MAKE YOUR ORDERS KNOWN!
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Post by Steve »

(OOC: Moved to Comment thread.)
”A Radical is a man with both feet planted firmly in the air.” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism." - Sir Winston L. S. Churchill, Princips Britannia

American Conservatism is about the exercise of personal responsibility without state interference in the lives of the citizenry..... unless, of course, it involves using the bludgeon of state power to suppress things Conservatives do not like.

DONALD J. TRUMP IS A SEDITIOUS TRAITOR AND MUST BE IMPEACHED
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Post by Fingolfin_Noldor »

Imperial Chronicles

Exarch Decius headed over to President Hank's suite with his retinue. Approaching the door, he met with the President's guards and was allowed to walk into the suite.

"Good Morning, Mr President. Happy Birthday by the way. The Emperor sends his greetings as well."
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Somewhere in Sargonia, USSR


"It is historic event, first ever since the glorious reunification!"

"Welcome to the Running of the Shroom! The Running of the Shroom is an ancient Sargonian tradition in which Shrooms would be captured, starved and robbed of most of their precious Shroom Gold (Which is usually stolen from innocent Shadow people to begin with) and then released down certain streets for the public to chase, taunt, injure and make Sexy Time with!"

"The Running of the Shroom is a great day to take the family out and the Sargonian tourist season opens just one day before the event. The Running of the Shroom was a religious celebration, but now it's just done for a good fun time. Chasing Shrooms out of their roadside nest of Pennies is a common tradition, but only recently has there been a return to organized Shroom-killings ever since Moustache Hero Man Joe Itler!"

"The Shroom is considered as much of a pest in Sargonia as they are worldwide. Sargonia's eastern borders touch Shroomtown, meaning that the Shroom is far more prevalent in Sargonia than anywhere else in the post-holocaust world. The Shroom is well known for stealing the children and money of Shadow families, creeping into their houses at night having changed'd its form into some small animal suck as a Cockroach before tearing the walls down and fleeing with anything of value. While some claim this is simply a cover-up for the drunken rampagings of Shadow Paedophiles, they're probably just drunk themselves. The Shroom, in its natural state, closely resembles a tall green demon with long horns, a prominent nose and oversized extremities."

"Many Shroom also wear a "Shroom Lid". Shrooms need their Shroom Gold to transform, so any Shroom being run is deprived of this (Requiring weeks of haggling by the most experienced bankers) so they cannot escape. If you see it on a wanted poster, it's probably a Shroom."

"Hey, take look at those Shrooms! Their big noses! They steal everyone's money!"

"Everybody get ready! The Running is about to start! One... two... three... Here. We. Go!"

"Oh my God! This year's Shroom is a big one, and he's not alone! There is a Shroom-Wife, everyone! The Running of the Shroom has two Shrooms! Look at them go! Shadow people are running from them, taunting at them and throwing pennies at them! Mr. Shroom and Mrs. Shroom are racing each other to the top of the hill to find their Shroom Gold! Look at them go! Who will beat the other to the Shroom Gold bait?!"

"Now we have Shadies chasing the Shrooms! They have pitchforks! Haha! Run Mister Shroom! Run faster or else they'll stick those torches in you!"

"Oh no! What is this? What is Mrs. Shroom doing? Can she... is she... what is she doing? Oh my! She is doing it! She is doing it! I can't believe me! Never before have I seen this in my life!"

Image

"Mrs. Shroom is laying a Shroom Egg! She is throwing off her attackers by laying a Shroom Egg!"

"Quick children! Beat that Shroom Egg and kill it before a Shroom Chick hatches!"

"That's good! Kill it with fire!"

"Oh, look at this! Shadow soldiers from Sarajevo look like they want to join in on the Running of the Shroom! Welcome Shadow soldiers from Sarajevo! May President Shady suck all the blood from the Shrooms and make sure not even a lizard can live in the ruins of the Zagor Empire!"

"Wait... why are the Shadow soldiers beating us with sticks?!"

"THE GLORIOUS PEOPLE'S DEMOCRATIC UNION OF SOCIALIST SHADOW REPUBLICS DOES NOT TOLERATE POISONOUS IDEOLOGIES! ANTI-SHROOMITISM WILL BE PUNISHED! BEAT THEM WITH STICKS! BEAT THEM HARDER!"

"Oh no! They have sticks! Those dogs from Sarajevo! Bastards! Ouch! Stop hitting me with that!"

"This is the worst Running of the Jew ever! Come back next year, maybe it will be better then! Goddamn Sarajevo dogs!"

"PACIFY THEM AND DETAIN THEM! SORT OUT THE MEN FROM THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN, AND THE ELDERLY FROM THOSE SEXUAL DEVIANTS. SEND THESE PEOPLE TO THE CAMPS FOR DE-EDUCATION AND MANDATORY SCREENING FOR SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES."

"Whores!"



Results:
Positive results for the Shadows curbing hate crimes and suppressing Anti-Shroomites.
Last edited by Shroom Man 777 on 2008-09-25 10:58am, edited 3 times in total.
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
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Post by Siege »

At the Frequesuan Neutrality Conference
Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:"Good Morning, Mr President. Happy Birthday by the way. The Emperor sends his greetings as well."
"Good morning Mr. Exarch", the president returned the greeting, vigorously shaking Decius' hand. "And thank you for the well-wishes." He gestured toward a set of comfortable couches. "Please, have a seat. Can I offer you something to drink? I have to admit I'm curious as to what it is you wish to talk about."
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Post by Fingolfin_Noldor »

SiegeTank wrote:At the Frequesuan Neutrality Conference
Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:"Good Morning, Mr President. Happy Birthday by the way. The Emperor sends his greetings as well."
"Good morning Mr. Exarch", the president returned the greeting, vigorously shaking Decius' hand. "And thank you for the well-wishes." He gestured toward a set of comfortable couches. "Please, have a seat. Can I offer you something to drink? I have to admit I'm curious as to what it is you wish to talk about."
Sitting down in front of the President, the Exarch begun, "Well for starters, Mr President, the Byzantine Emperor is concerned about the... nationalistic hardliners within the FTO. As much as some of the anti-colonialism is understandable, some of it borders on irrational. Further, the Emperor is also concerned with the constant military drain on the FTO. Given that some members aren't contributing at least proportional to what they can commit, we anticipate some friction in the future. Surely the FTO can get its act together, without looking... exasperated at times?"
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Post by Coyote »

WAR IS OVER!

In a last-minute action that has proven to be a domestic turnaround for King Arik, the war between Shepistan and the Old Dominion has ended in an armistace.

"I am grateful that the warring parties involved at the heart of this conflict have come to an agreement," the King is quoted as saying at a press gathering that was hastily called at the Seaside Palace.

Image

The terms of the peace treaty are mixed. Shepistan is allowed territorial soveignty over disputed islands, which many criticise as a reward for imperialism and aggression. However, they also agree to maintain a military that is at 80% of Old Dominion military strength, a fact that will be verified by MESS weapons inspectors.

"This is an imperfect treaty, to be sure," an anonymous officiel at the Foreign Ministry said, "But it is a treaty, and it gives us something solid to hold Shepistan to."

Many questions remain unanswered, however-- among them, how involved was Japanistan in supporting the Shepistani war effort, under the guise of neutrality? Unverified reports of at-sea replenishment of munitions are rife, and many remain skeptical of Japanistan's claims of providing only "humanitarian aid".

Other critics demand to know why Shepistani officers and political leaders will not be indicted on war crimes for engaing in unrestricted submarine warfare.

"The ecological damage alone from the destruction of the Shroom Viking is sufficient to warrant a tribunal," said Minister Myra Foxglove, of the Greens Party. Defense Minister Ral Tenn, however, points out that unrestricted submarine warfare is a price of war.

"It is ugly and I don't like it, but certain conventions have been in place for years to deal with it. Shepistan communicated the areas where unrestricted submarine warfare was going to be taking place, and warned ships to stay out unless they were involved. They asked for trade routes and made an effort to coordinate so as to avoid unrelated casualties. There are many criticisms that can be legitimately levelled at Shepistan, but this isn't one of them."

However, the National Assembly wants to call a special session to review the charter of the MESS alliance, and many seek assurance that Canissia will not be dragged into another border dispute between Shepistan and the Old Dominion.

King Arik, who has been a stalwart defender of the MESS alliance, has been taking a number of domestic political hits lately for his unquestioned support of the Old Dominion, and the manner in which Article 3 was hastily called for by the Old Dominion, and the manner in which the King responded without chance for review.

It has been rumored that King Arik wanted to avoid a repeat of the 1970's conflicts, in which the Old Dominion and Shepistan had a brief war in which Canissia stayed largely aloof from. The Old Dominion criticised Canissian King Allin at the time, saying he was not upholding the agreement.

"Avoiding war is always a good idea," King Allin was quoted, to the consternation of many in the MESS at the time and, at the time, called for a review of Canissian MESS commitments. Even in Canissia proper, the move was seen as unwise, since it gave the appearance that Canissia wanted the collective security without any obligations or responsibilites in return.

"We've shed the accusations of the past," King Arik said in the press conference earlier today. "We've upheld our promise; now we need to review what went right, what went wrong, and what we need to adjust for the future."

One thing that universally went right, and is lauded as a great victory, was the use and performance of robotic warfighting equipment in extracing the besieged paratroopers from LZ Ellis. The performance of the robots has resulted in a massive groundswell of support for more robotic research and funding, something King Arik has been calling for over the last several months.

While public opinion has been deeply negative of the King during the course of the war, the spectacular robot victory in what was literally the last days of the conflict, followed by an armistace, seems to have erased, or at least bandaged over, much of the previous criticism. The King's gamble on robot warriors has been vindicated in the eyes of many, and his leadership --previously in question-- seems to have emerged in a positive light.

Time will tell if the long-term benefits live up to the immediate sense of post-war relief, but for now, the King appears to have regained some of the social approval he's been losing.
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Post by Lonestar »

Virginia Pilot
The War is over...what now? OP-ED by the Lord Wythe

We have a peace, if we can keep it. This brief, bloody war, which saw coalition units at the gates of Al-Philli is over, and at first glance it seems as if nothing was gained. There were no territorial gains(indeed, the main territorial gain, West Fuckland Island, has been returned to Shepistan), the murderer of the foreign minister was not returned, and MESS air attacks performed worse than expected against the Shepistani air defense network.

So, what have we gained? First and foremost, we have wrung guarantees restricting the size of the Shepistani to 80% of our own, with MESS auditors keeping a close eye on Shepistan's budget. In return, no major combatant units from other MESS nations are to be permanently stationed in the OD in peacetime. We like those odds.

West Chesapeake, the relatively flat tidewater region that saw II Corps tearing up towards Al-Philli on, will be placed under the control of a international observer group, which will improve our own security.

Finally, as 'too soon' this may seem, we gained a look at the changes Shepistan has been making to their military since the last war, and we will be able to alter our own planning accordingly.

So what next?

As the Chairman of the House of Burgesses Committee on National Defense, I am announcing a new 5-year restructuring and recovery plan for the Old Dominion armed forces.

(1)The number of F-39 Griffins will be brought up to 400, a procurement total of 247.
(2) The
Lord Fairfax will be extensively repaired and upgraded, the total costs reaching up to $3bil.
(3) 44 F/A-18Fs to replace and augment the carrier wings.
(4) Retain goal of maintain a F-22 wing of 65 planes.
(5)Decommission all Chieftain MBTs. The Total number of Leopard 2A6 tanks will be 1100.
(6)Begin development and acquisition of bunker-busting munitions, specifically, the Tian Xia bunker buster warhead for the ATACMs will be affixed to the ATACMS-ER missile.
(7)The size of the active army shall shrink from 600,000 to 400,000. Many of the new Citizens being inducted will instead join the Citizen Construction Corps to help with recovery.
(8)Expedite launch of the Lowell GPS constellation.
(9) Three new FFGs to make up existing surface combatant losses.
(10)Deployment of a point-defense system for bases and important civilian areas. At the moment the Chesapeake Arms Phalanx-D will be the interim system, a new system, tentatively titled Skyshield, is under development. The Canissan THEL is also being looked at.
(11)The "New Horizons" system of MESS weapons systems will be invested in more.

The next few years will be hard, but with the help of the CCC and our MESS allies, we expect a rapid recovery.
"The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles."
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Post by Siege »

At the Frequesuan Neutrality Conference
Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:Sitting down in front of the President, the Exarch begun, "Well for starters, Mr President, the Byzantine Emperor is concerned about the... nationalistic hardliners within the FTO. As much as some of the anti-colonialism is understandable, some of it borders on irrational. Further, the Emperor is also concerned with the constant military drain on the FTO. Given that some members aren't contributing at least proportional to what they can commit, we anticipate some friction in the future. Surely the FTO can get its act together, without looking... exasperated at times?"


The President pondered this question briefly. Then he responded, quietly but passionately. "I think whether our nationalism is irrational or not is largely a matter of perspective. You allude to the colonial past of our continent… Look where colonialism got us: we are a continent of broken nations, whereon but a handful of regions can by rights be called free and prosperous.

And now, just as we begin to take our first steps forward, just as those few prosperous nations come together to help those who were less fortunate… Just as we begin to drag ourselves out of the mud by our own hair, we see a resurgence of naked imperialism, complete with wars and the wholesale annexation of territories.

We are not seeing this resurgence just on our continent. One has to only look at Velaria to find out it is a world-wide trend. The world is repeating the mistakes of the past. And to be frank, this to us is deeply disconcerting.

What you see as irrational nationalism we see as a response to provocation, to annexation, to wars we do not want, and antagonism we do not need. Have we made mistakes? Yes, undoubtedly. Have we acted irrationally? Perhaps – no, almost certainly.

But from our point of view, we are being confronted - again - by Great Powers whose sole language is Power, who care nothing for our wants and needs, and who want nothing of us but concessions, concessions, concessions.

Mr. Exarch, Frequesue is tired of conceding. We have conceded for centuries – we have conceded our freedoms, our treasures, our blood and sweat and tears to foreign Powers who did not care for us. Well, we care for us. And we are tired of being exploited and ignored and pushed around. And confronted with a world in danger of sliding back into darker times, we feel we have to say, no, not this, not again. The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!

And sometimes, Mr. Exarch, perhaps that message is too forceful, or worded poorly, or spoken at inopportune moments, or perhaps it is heard by the wrong people. But it is heartfelt, and sincere, and surely that must count for something when it reaches the ears of just men and women.”

Briefly the President paused. Then he continued. “Concerning proportionality of resources contributed to the FTO, we certainly do not wish to fault nations who bring less to the table than we. Not all of us are as rich, or as prepared to commit, or even as capable of committing to actions that may see brave soldiers return home in caskets.

Though of course you are right when you say there is plenty room for improvement: indeed we would prefer not to look exasperated in the eyes of the world ourselves”, the President smiled. “Certain is that our decision-making process needs to be reviewed so we can jointly respond to situations that come up at a less than glacial pace – frankly, we ourselves are looking with interest to the San Magdalena Peace Conference, as this is the first time a single nation, Indhopal, represents the entire FTO on an international level. If that works out to our mutual satisfaction I could imagine building off that to appear more resolved in the future.

Still, for an alliance that has existed for less than two years, we think we have already taken formidable strides forward. Our joint naval task force is a success. Our peace keeping mission in the CFR is finally making progress. We are even reaching out into space! All things considered, I am quite proud of what the FTO has achieved. We have proven that it is possible for our nations to come together for the common good. To the Old Continent this may not seem like much. But for Frequesue, it is unique.”
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SDN World 4: The United Solarian Sovereignty
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There'll be a bodycount, we're gonna watch it rise
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Post by Coyote »

Offshore Katangwan Free State:
Construction Begins!





Image

Construction begins on a new offshore oil rig just a few miles off the coast of Katangwa, in Katangwan territorial waters. The oil rig, called "Equatorial Star", is a joint venture between Canissia and Katangwa to tap the rich oil deposits that lie off the coast of the Velerian state.

"This is the beginning of a glorious new dawn, a dawn for both our peoples," Colonal Johan S'vimbi was quoted during th eopening cermonies. As part of the agreement between Canissia and Katangwa, the oil rig must employ at least 50% Katangwan natives among its work force. Training has already begun on a variety of oil-rig related jobs.

"Like a lot of things with the Katangwans, we have to couch everything in ritual terms," said one Canissian civil trainer, "Drilling pleases the Oil Gods; maintenance and repair pleases the Machinery Gods, that sort of thing. It works, but it can seem a bit odd to us at first."

Still, oil and gas reserves offshore make it worthwhile for the Canissian endeavour to go through. Many projects were stalled during the recent MESS/Shepistan War, but as the war concludes and budget is freed up, King Arik has decided to prioritize investment projects such as oil and gas, rather than continue with the military projects originally planned.

"This will provide revenue for the Katangwans," the King said, "Revenue that will go a long way towards alleviating our costs for their infrastructure. Once we start seeing a positive return on the investments, we'll be able to pick up funding for other things down the road."

Greens Party Minister Myra Foxglove signed off on the project, stating that while she disliked oil and gas energy sources, she admitted that the Katangwans have little choice in determining what natural resources they have beneath their shores.

"We can use the oil and gas, but they need the revenue from it, desperately," she said. "I have received a written promise from the King that the money from this will go to creating a green economy in Katangwa, and money will be prioritized to schools and an electrical power grid and commuter services rather than standard, old-style cars and trucks."

Colonel S'vimbi says he doesn't care what sort of infrastructure is built in Katangwa.
"My people have suffered for so long, they need investment and opportunity. This will provide it."
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Post by Steve »

Vancouver Herald

ARMISTICE IN SHEPISTAN

WILLIAMSBURG, OD - After weeks of furious fighting and aerial operations Shepistan and Old Dominion have confirmed an armistice agreement that has brought an end to the fighting. The terms include MESS withdrawal from West Fuckland and San Fuego and international oversight to enforce neutrality in San Fuego and the disputed region of the Chesapeake, as well as limits on the size of Shepistani forces and MESS forces assigned to the Old Dominion.

Celebrations were muted in the capital of the Old Dominion, with some exceptions. Reports from other regions of the Dominion confirm that the attitude of the citizenry seems to be mostly relief combined with uncertainty to the future - not a great surprise given the long history of war between these two countries.


Cascadian Senate cuts defense increase sought by House

ADAMS, CAPITAL DISTRICT - The Senate has passed its own defense budget for 2009 with approved projection to 2013 instead of approving the large House increase to $75 billion by 2012. The resulting defense budget will only permit an increase to $68 billion by 2013. Budget analysts have stated that such a smaller increase still includes funding for acquiring an order of modern main battle tanks for the Army and for the initial planned acquisition of the SF-10D strike fighter and the previously approved force of thirty navalized JSF fighters, as well as a small order of STVOL aircraft for Cascadia's fourth amphibious operations ship. However, the House's idea of the funding for a faster increase in capability to the National Air Defense System is likely to be reduced to a more conservative level, particularly given the Senate's budget remarking on the desire to go ahead with the CVA-04 project.

President Garrett is expected to make a final determination of which budget to support within the next two weeks.
”A Radical is a man with both feet planted firmly in the air.” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism." - Sir Winston L. S. Churchill, Princips Britannia

American Conservatism is about the exercise of personal responsibility without state interference in the lives of the citizenry..... unless, of course, it involves using the bludgeon of state power to suppress things Conservatives do not like.

DONALD J. TRUMP IS A SEDITIOUS TRAITOR AND MUST BE IMPEACHED
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Post by Setzer »

10 KILLED IN CAR BOMBING

A mining camp in the Hecate mountains was the target of Gilean terrorists today. One of the employees had stepped into his car for the commute home, when the vehicle exploded. Forensics investigations are ongoing, but they have revealed that the bomb incorporated high quality explosies, as opposed to the usual improvised devices.

NEW SECURITY MEASURES IN EFFECT

The recently nationalized Argus corporation has pioneered new developments in Sirnoth Law enforcement. As of the current date, they have constructed a network of some 1,325,000 CCTV cameras throughout Sirnoth. Half of these incorporate facial recognition software.
A planned AI brain is being developed, allowing for constant surveillance at all times.
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Post by Siege »

(OOC: More grimdark! More!)

Welcome to San Dorado

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“Two hundred and sixty dollars! That’s outrageous!” Blanchard almost screamed at the taxi driver. The cabbie looked back impassively. Rain uncaringly pattered down on the roof of the car.

“Them’s the rates, pal. Check the meter.”

Blanchard just knew that wasn’t correct, but he was tired and angry and frustrated. His business trip to Canissia had not gone well, and he was down to his last five hundred. He shuddered with rage. If he didn’t get that contract, he’d be bankrupt. He and Nancy would have to live in a shack in the Sprawl. And now this scumsucker was trying to rip him off for his last few dollars.

“You sure you’re not charging me out-of-towner’s rates? I’m not a tourist you know.”

The big driver looked at him with contempt. Blanchard knew that all he saw was a small, pudgy man, a failure, a fool. The driver had slipped some brass knuckles over his fingers.

“You gonna pay, pal, or am I going to take out of your hide?”

Hastily Blanchard fumbled inside his jacket. The cabbie leered in triumph. “Wait a minute! I’ve got it right here, sir. Please don’t hit me!”

The driver laughed contemptuously. Blanchard pulled out his .45 Oppressor. The driver went pale when he saw the gun.

“Here you are”, Blanchard said, and unloaded the magazine into the driver’s face.

He stepped out of the cab, laughing hysterically as the booming echoes of the gunshots died away. “Keep the change!” he said. He walked away. The rent-a-cops at the corner store didn’t touch him. Nobody glanced at him. Maybe they were just trying to avoid his eyes.
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SDN World 2: The North Frequesuan Trust
SDN World 3: The Sultanate of Egypt
SDN World 4: The United Solarian Sovereignty
SDN World 5: San Dorado
There'll be a bodycount, we're gonna watch it rise
The folks at CNN, they won't believe their eyes
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