Get your fill of sci-fi, science, and mockery of stupid people
* FAQ    * Search   * Register   * Login 
Want to support this site? Click

Quote of the Week: "A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within." - Will Durant, American historian (1885-1981)


All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 1228 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50  Next
Author Message
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 12:24pm
Offline
Jedi Council Member
User avatar

Joined: 2006-11-09 09:54am
Posts: 1984
Location: Wouldn't you like to know?
Baernish MinWar + Baernish MinState
File BMWBMS-7

TO: His Excellency Prime Minister Shroom the 777th
FROM: Their Excellencies the Ministers of War and State

//DECRYPT COMPLETE//

As one of the most influential members of the FUN, we felt your opinion should be asked before we deploy submarine forces to the Shadow Empire. It is our belief that the current anarchy pervasive to that nation is a threat to the stability of all Central Sea nations, and we offer our intelligence assets in the area to assist in whatever way they can.



Conversion Table:

2000 Mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds
Basic Unit of Laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower
453.6 Graham Crackers = 1 Pound Cake
1 Kilogram of Falling Figs - 1 Fig Newton
Time Between Slipping on a Banana Peel and Smacking the Pavement = 1 Bananosecond
Half of a Large Intestine = 1 Semicolon

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 12:35pm
Offline
Emperor's Hand
User avatar

Joined: 2002-07-18 06:08pm
Posts: 13237
Location: Poland
Atlantis, Conference Hall

Paul I wasn't feeling all that well. Sleepless nights and days spent on bickering and quarrels were taking their toll on his health - and every time progress seemed imminent, another obstacle found its way.

Still, he had to persevere. As he walked towards the speaker's podium, he surveyed everyone assembled. So many different agendas, so many plans and goals...it seemed like a bloody, uphill battle.

"Ladies and gentlemen, honorable representatives of the world. I would like to adress several serious matters which have arisen with regards to our Libertian proposals.

First of all, I would like to comment on the ITR's position. Frankly, I hope it was a joke - and if it was, it was in exceptionally poor taste", the King looked straight at the ITR delegation, "I find a corporate nation speaking about 'ivory tower bureaucracts' ironic, and mentions of tanks, gunships and ballistic missiles as weapons of 'defence' downright obtuse."

He rubbed his head. The throbbing headache didn't exactly make it easy.

"I have to second president Shinra's motio...", he blinked, staring at the podium. The world seemed to wave side to side, but it passed after a brief pause,"...Excuse me. I would like to second president Shinra's motion for the United Kingdom of Blackadder to fully disclose any information relating to Saddamistan's plans for Terra Libertia. Speaking frankly, opaqueness and deliberate obstruction gives root to assumptions and suspicions the world cannot afford."

The King gripped the podium tightly. His vision was blurry, and the headache became almost unbearable.

"I...",he said with obvious difficulty, "...I need to stress...the impor...importance of...of agreement on this issue..."

Various delegates shot worried glances towards each other. King Paul's bodyguards approached the podium, worried and unsure what to do.

"...the...necessity of inter...of international agreement is paramount...paramount...", the King took a sip of water with a trembling hand, "Is paramount for the safety of the aid workers and the Liber...topian...of the Libertopian pe...people..."

The headache overwhelmed him, exploding painfully. With a groan, the King collapsed to the floor, and the water glass slipped from his hand, landing on the expensive carpet.

(OOC: I'm taking a week-long break from the game for personal reasons. Sorry, but I won't be able to make frequent or long posts for the following days. We'll say it was a minor stress-induced stroke.)



Image
JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.


Last edited by PeZook on 2008-05-20 12:55pm, edited 1 time in total.
Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 12:48pm
Offline
FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
User avatar

Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
Posts: 19927
Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
LIVE on ShroomSatTV
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
SHADOW SHAKEDOWN

The Prime Minister of Shroomania has called on all his friends and allies in the Fungal Union of Nations to discuss the recent outbreak of civil war and anarchy in the Shadow Empire in the wake of Emperor Shady's assassination.

"I would like to meet with my compatriots and ascertain the situation of the Empire. We have to figure out how we're going to respond to this critical situation," the Prime Minister said. "I propose that the FUN's delegates should meet in Astoria, PeZookia. PeZookia is the closest FUN member to the Shadow Empire, and will thus play a crucial role in resolving this situation. While doing so, we also might as well pay King Paul a visit and see how well he's doing."


****


The Prime Minister looked at the telescreen, into the face of FIA Director Baylor. The Prime Minister despised that slimy mongrel, partially because the man was a goddamn lunatic, and partially because the man was a goddamn amoral lunatic. The Prime Minister and the FIA Director were two distinctly different kinds of lunatic, opposite flavors. Yet, the Prime Minister knew that the Director was one of his most useful thugs. Which was why he kept him.

"Tell the Baernish MinWar and MinState that they can deploy their submarines around the Shadow Empire. Covertly and stealthily," which was how submarine operations were always done. "Authorize no direct aggressive action. Tell them to sit tight, observe and listen. Likewise with their intelligence agents."

"Anything else, sir?" the Director looked impassive and rather bored.

"The Shadows have weapons. The Technocrats sold them some, and they might also have Beards. So tell the Baernish to be smart in deploying their subs. Put some behind Vanaheim, so if ever they have to execute cruise missile strikes, they won't be in range of any Beards."

"You think it'll actually come down to that?"

"Come on, Baylor. It did come down to that, two years ago. You were there, you saw how the Shadows tried to go after me," the Prime Minister replied.

"Yes, I was there," the Director nodded. During the Shadow-Shroom incident, Shroomanian intelligence was crucial in keeping the Prime Minister alive. Before Shroomania had even fired the first cruise missiles at the Shadows, there was already a brief but violent invisible war between both nations - an unsung battle between the soldiers and spies of both nations. "I'll tell the Baerns to deploy their subs and their men wisely. Is there anything else?"

"Send our man in."

"Yes, Prime Minister."


[OOC: Crap! Well, good luck, PeZook. Let's just say that the stress of the Libertian conference and this new Shadow thing finally made you go temporarily loopy - like me! :D]



Image Image Image
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 01:05pm
Offline
FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
User avatar

Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
Posts: 19927
Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
[OOC: Since the Libertian Conference is out-of-sync with "real time" in the game...]


Atlantis, Corridors of Power

"How is he?"

"I can't tell."

The Prime Minister was accompanying the PeZookian delegation, who were going with the Atlantean medical personnel carrying King Paul on a stretcher.

One of the Atlanteans was checking Paul's blood pressure with a sphygmomanometer, and the Prime Minister took Paul's wrist and felt for the pulse.

"It's erratic..." he could feel the pulses, and the 'ticks' of the BP apparatus' gauge. The ticking stopped.

"His blood pressure's low. 70/60 mmHgs."

"Christ," Shroom hissed. That was almost like the BP of pregnant ladies. Back in nursing school, when he first took the blood pressure of a pregnant woman, he was alarmed to find her BP so low. The norm was 120/80 mmHgs and Paul was by no means a pregnant woman. He turned to one of the Atlanteans and asked: "Where are you taking him?"

"To an ambulance," the paramedic replied. "Then we'll take him to the nearest medical facility."

"Okay," the Prime Minister moved aside, letting the paramedics and PeZookians go on without slowing them down. Despite his limited medical training, there was little he could help, and they were professionals. "Take good care of him"

"We will."

The Prime Minister stood there, watching as they hauled him out the exit and into a waiting ambulance. As the ambulance drove away, he turned and found the other world leaders standing by near him, expressions of concern on their faces as well.



[Oh, the (medical) drama!]



Image Image Image
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 02:10pm
Offline
Jedi Council Member
User avatar

Joined: 2007-09-15 10:46am
Posts: 1872
Location: Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina
Location: Unknown, somewhere in the shadow empire

The Emperor sat in a dark corner of the bunker, thinking of his next move. Mistress Elena was standing in the center of the room, the silence was broken by a young women entering the room. Shady recognized her as Elena's second in command, Talia.

[Elena] What news do you bring?

[Talia] Mistress it appears that General Karic is moving his forces from the capitol. He plans to attack our forces in the north.

[Elena] Shit. This isn't good news.

[Emperor Shady] Actually, this is great news.

[Elena] What do you mean?

[Emperor Shady] If most of his forces leave the city, he becomes vulnerable to our attack.

[Elena] But we will need help, the small force we have in the capitol is not going to be enough.

[Emperor Shady] We still have allies in this world. I am sure that FIA still has operatives within the empire. We must contact one of these operatives.

[Elena] What shall we tell them if we make contact?

[Emperor Shady] Tell them to inform Shroom and the other leaders of the FUN that i am still alive, but tell them to keep it a secret. I don't want to tip of the general. Also inform Shroom of the generals plan. If the FUN can deploy forces to the northern province and support our forces there it could buy us enough time to take back the capital.

[Talia] But my lord, we do not have enough troops to take the capitol.

[Emperor Shady] That is why we shall ask the FUN to deploy additional troops in the capitol.

[Elena] I shall deploy our agents immediately.

[Emperor Shady] Inform your agents to work quickly. The more time we waste, the higher the chance that the general discovers our location and the fact that i am still alive.

[Elena] Yes my lord.

The two women left the room quickly, and the emperor was left wondering whether his friend Shroom would be able to react quickly enough to save his life.

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 02:14pm
Offline
Padawan Learner
User avatar

Joined: 2006-06-20 01:32pm
Posts: 166
Location: Sweden
In a giant airship the Subway Excavation vehicle from the Bear Republic has finally arrived to New Gottland. The vehicle is on a trade system simular to "Lend Lease" to all that is FUN.
In New Gottland it is to connect all major cities and other places of interest in a network of tunnels/subways. "It's all part of the master plan" a New Gottlandish government official said. When asked to elaborat he claims that he never said it and asked the reporter to "go and misquote some other dumbass [official]".

Image
Promo Picture, courtesy of the Bear Republic

In the spirit of cooperation New Gottlands top chef is travelling to Emporer Colin court to learn him the secret behind the Gottish specialty, the fermented Baltic herring. (of course, there is no the Baltic sea here, but that is just a minor setback solved using some similar fish).Large quanitis of Gottish aquavit is also transporterd to the Bear Repulic as well as several veteran herring lovers to make the experience as genuine as possible.

Image
New Gottlands veteran herring lovers, ready to kick ass!

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 02:22pm
Offline
FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
User avatar

Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
Posts: 19927
Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
Somewhere in the Central Sea
Two days ago



"The Shadow Empire is in a state of civil war."

"The forces of General Karic has taken over the government and has closed the nation's borders. They will shoot down any foreign ships or aircraft attempting to enter the Shadow Empire."

"Obviously, that does not apply to us."

Image

"General Karic is currently engaging in a protracted battle against the forces loyal to Emperor Shady. He may dead, but his supporters are certainly not."

"Caught in between this crossfire are our people. Shroomanian nationals, FUNites, and foreigners who have not been evacuated by the time the General closed the nation down."

Image

"We have attempted to communicate with the loyalist forces of the late Emperor Shady. Unfortunately, General Karic has taken over the Shadow Empire's communications grid. We cannot get through to them."

Image

"Before the communications blackout, we received a transmission from our Shadow Empire FIFAs (Fungal Intelligence Female Agents). They are still alive, and they may have important information pertaining to the Shadow situation."

Image

"You'll have two mission objectives. First, establish contact with the FIFAs and extract as much information as you can from them."

"Second, you are to link up with the loyalist forces of the late Emperor Shady. You are to coordinate with the resistance in preparation for a future FUN Force intervention."

"What's the insertion method?"

"We'll approach the Shadow coastline by sub."

"And then?"

"We'll launch a one-man SDV (swimmer delivery vehicle)."

Image

"After the SDV gets as close as it can, dispose of it."

"From there on, you'll have to swim."

Image

"The last known location of our FIFAs was Sarajevo, the Shadow capital. It's not too far from the coastline, so you are to proceed inland and rendezvous with the FIFA at their safehouse."

"Anyone going with me?"

Image

"As usual, this will be a one-man infiltration mission."

Image

"Weapons and equipment OSP (on-site procurement)?"

"Yes."

Image

"This is a top-secret black op."

"Don't expect any official support."

Image

"Until the time is right, that is."

"Green smoke shall be the signal for the SAF."


[OOC: On that note, I'm gonna have to sleep soon. Basically, after this, I'm sure Solid Shroom shall be able to hook up with the FIFAs/WITCHes and then work with Shady. Basically, the resistance will coordinate with the FUN and - if all things work well - the SAF's F-22s are gonna come in at the nick of time and bomb the living shit out of General Karic. Those gay pilots are gonna be Big Damn Heroes!]



Image Image Image
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 02:42pm
Offline
Rabid Monkey
User avatar

Joined: 2002-08-23 01:20am
Posts: 12464
Location: The glorious Sun-Barge! Isis, Isis, Ra,Ra,Ra!
ATLANTIS CONFERENCE

A hasty recess was called as King Paul was evacuated by ambulance to the nearby medical facility.
Image

In the Conference Hall, people quietly shuffled away papers or talked in low voices among themselves. King Arik exchanged a glance with Miss Samira, who frowned, and nodded her head. She was right-- there was no progress to be made here. He cast a disappointed look over at the UKB delegates, but they were wrapped up in their own concerns.

"Let's go," he said, and he and Miss Samira walked out. In the hall they met Miss Katerin.
"Any word from the Red Techs to our offer?" Arik asked her.
"None at all," she said.

"Then we're not wasting another moment here," Arik said. They got in their limousine and went to the airport, boarded the zeppelin, and took off for Canissia.

"Priority message, sir," Colonel Rassnar said, "Rather disturbing." He handed Arik the printout. The leader of Canissia read it, and re-read it.

Increased terrorism across a variety of disparate radical groups... King Paul collapses... Emperor Shady... bizarre political footsie among the UKB and Saddamistan...

"Colonel, call home and tell them we're going into emergency lockdown. Something is up, and this could be the start of a major UKB-Saddamistan push. Put us at DEFCON 3."



Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 03:04pm
Offline
FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
User avatar

Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
Posts: 19927
Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
Somewhere in Sarajevo
Yesterday

Image

Time was running short. It had taken him two days to reach Sarajevo, avoiding all the General's patrols in and around the capital. The place was well-defended, but something was off. The soldiers were mobilizing - preparing to move out to somewhere else.

Image

It looked like they were getting ready to attack a major resistance encampment, to the north, by the look of things.

Solid Snail blew smoke out of his cigarette - which was useful in detecting hidden laser traps.

He still hadn't found the FIFAs. Their safehouse had been abandoned, not a good sign. If he couldn't locate them, if they were dead, then the mission might as well get scrapped.

"Huh?"

Image

One of the patrols was coming close. He had to hide.

Image

In a barrel.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of gunfire.

Image

The soldiers were being attacked by rebels.

Image

The rebels struck with precision, destroying the soldiers' mode of transportation. No doubt the attack was meant to stop their mobilization, to halt them before they could move out and advance northwards.

Image

Solid Snail decided to enter the fray, emerging from his drum barrel and striking, opening fire on the General's soldiers.

Image

It was quick and clean. And after that, he found his objective. The Fungal Intelligence Female Agent, and her partners in the Resistance.



Image Image Image
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 04:26pm
Offline
Keeper of the Schwartz
User avatar

Joined: 2003-02-13 04:21pm
Posts: 12610
Location: The third best place to live in the country.
NMCC, The Trigon, Austin

"The Yellow Rose strike group is underway and reports no difficulties, they should be at Adrianopolis in two weeks." CNO Oscar Saldana said. "They will arrive at JTF-3's AO a week after that, and the Texas CSG will remain on station for two weeks before returning to the LSR." Saldana clicked the power point slide, which just had the listing of the strike group on it.

LRS Yellow Rose
LRS San Jacinto
LRS Jim Bowie
LRS Dallas County
LRS Texas City
LRS Houston
LRS San Antonio
LRS Sugarland

"Any updates on that spill in the Eastern Sea?" Lonestar asked, then took a sip of Dublin Dr Pepper.

"The Poseidon reports that is it definitely radiation that did it. So far the races do not match any MESS fuel or known Omsk fuel."

"Saddam." It wasn't a question.

"No doubt, but nothing we can bring to court, yet. We're still tracking down where those empty containers came from."

"Wonderful. Air Force?"

"If the Goddamn Fortean Times don't stop sneaking around the Midland Missile Range..."

There was laughter in the briefing room.

"That bad, Scott?"

"Worse." CSAF said. "They're more annoying than Jim Hanks. You know what he said when I told him that BLACK COLT was just a technology demonstrator and is only be able to lift 400kg?"

"What?"

" 'That's fine. Ah'reckon humans organs weigh less'n that.'" Shultz rolled his eyes. More laughter.

Lonestar stood up. "Well, if that's all..."



ImageImage
"The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles."

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 05:42pm
Online
Yankee Capitalist Air Pirate
User avatar

Joined: 2002-07-03 11:49pm
Posts: 35396
Location: Passchendaele City, HAB
DDDF: Deutch-Danish-Dusseldorf-Fregency News
SADDMISTAN ‘MAY EXECUTE FOREIGN JOURNALISTS’; ‘DEBT BONDS’ LIBERALTOPIA REFUGEES !


Three international journalists who survived mining and shipwrecking to come ashore on a Saddamistani island may now face the death penalty in a rare show trial by the Revolutionary Court of Saddam according to sources in the Saddamistan judiciary ministry. The Revolutionary Court is a ten judge tribunal formally headed by the great dictator himself, though Saddam has only once sat in the courtroom, during the infamous closed door trial of his own psychotic son, the now deceased “Butcher of East Aden”. If this report is true then the journalist’s fates may be known within just a few days.

Today however a Saddamistan Magistrate Court in New Brasra, a city far removed from the Allah Spitbar Island shipwreck site, ruled on the status of the Liberaltopia refugees and ships crew. The Court declared without any apparent evidence or presence of any Liberaltopia that all were collectively guilty by default for the crimes of trespass, defacing and littering the land and others. The sentence it is reported, will be a sentence to a work camp digging irrigation canals for all above the age of 8, to repay Saddamistan for all expenses incurred in the matter, prior to deportation. This punishment has been likened to a form of debt bondage by several international commentators.



"This cult of special forces is as sensible as to form a Royal Corps of Tree Climbers and say that no soldier who does not wear its green hat with a bunch of oak leaves stuck in it should be expected to climb a tree"
— Field Marshal William Slim 1956

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 06:15pm
Offline
Jedi Master
User avatar

Joined: 2006-08-18 11:27pm
Posts: 1441
Location: COOBIE YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS
ENCRYPTED TELEGRAM - POINT OF ORIGIN: ASHFORD CITY, DUCHY OF LANGLEY - DESTINATION: FARBANTI, SHROOMANIA

TO: His Excellency Prime Minister Shroom the 777th
FROM: Marshal Kyoshiro Todo, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Langley Armed Forces

I believe that the current situation in the Shadow Empire poses a grave threat to the stability of the entire FUN, and I ask your permission to base aerial and naval assets in your nation to assist in any efforts taken to pacify the Shadow Empire and restore its rightful government.



I ship Eino Ilmari Juutilainen x Lydia V. Litvyak.

Image
ImageImageImage
Phantasee: Don't be a dick.
Stofsk: What are you, his mother?
The Yosemite Bear: Obviously, which means that he's grounded, and that she needs to go back to sucking Mr. Coffee's cock.

"d-did... did this thread just turn into Thanas/PeZook slash fiction?" - Ilya Muromets


Last edited by Shinn Langley Soryu on 2008-05-20 08:14pm, edited 1 time in total.
Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 06:35pm
Offline
Jedi Council Member
User avatar

Joined: 2006-04-30 12:49pm
Posts: 1945
Location: Back in NOVA
In a rare public statement the government of Indhopal issued a call on Sadaamistan to show mercy in the case of the journalists and relaese the libertopian refugees. They offered to have a chartered ship take the Libertopians off of Sadaamistan's hands.

Such a statement is very rare for Indhopal, who normally attempts to remain neutral and keep its head down.



SD.net World MK1: Indhopal
SD.net World MK2: 2nd. Republic of Indhopal
SD.net World MK3: Republic of Chilitina

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-20 08:31pm
Offline
Mostly Harmless Nutcase
User avatar

Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
Posts: 35211
Location: Dave's Not Here Man
Atlantis, Xanadu Castle Complex

ok, Colin thought, when Q had left the cabin he had put Q in charge of repairing Xanadu Castle, and making it fit place for hosting an international delegation. He wasn't sure where in those instructions had moving the whole Kane Estate from the Bear Republic to Atlantis (though she had repaired the erosion problem, tended the gardens, repopulated the Zoo, and a few other things. Hopefully Q. wasn't Jelouse of the other Q, because she had also turned the "Posiden Room" complex into her own personal Roman pleasure dome, and abducted about thirty Mushroom Marines to be her "Body Servants", while she relaxed by the pools and baths. Other then wearing egyptian loin cloths and catering to her physical whims they were allowed to do what ever they pleased.

Well, he had been planing on building something, however the Kane Estate was a super expensive, national treasure, that no one really could afford to maintain properly....


Bear Republic News: Entire Kane estate Disappears!!!!
though heavily damaged by neglect as well as the 2008 disasters, the Entire Estate of Publisher/Radio Magnet Charles Foster Kane, dissappeared at 1205 or 0005 military time. "One minute it was there and onother minute it wasn't."- Said a Bear Republic Ranger. It wasn't alone, Across the Republic a suprising number of land scape artists, 4 star restuarant cooks, and other Hotel maids have all been reported missing in the last 24 hours.



Image

The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-21 12:02am
Offline
The Patrician
User avatar

Joined: 2002-07-04 01:18am
Posts: 10288
Location: 32ULV
Forbidden City Times
CSGN and UNREP ship delivered to Tian Xia

The PCUs Tireless and Wave Knight have been delivered to the Tian Xia Navy for acceptance trials. They will likely be commissioned next year. The F-35B that makes up a principle component of the Tireless' planned aviation complement will not be in service until then as well.

Stage seperation test successful for the Starbooster project

A mated pair of Starboosters were successfully lofted into the atmosphere, where they seperated before each making a landing. Several more tests are planned before the Starboosters are moved to Atlantis for final tests before commercial availability. Lockmart Corp has already gotten payloads for the full-up test launches.

Lockmart Corp awarded contract for large solid fuel rocket

Lockmart and Peace Dept officials have refused comment.

Sections of Hotaka-dake National Wildlife Refuge closed to public

Ministry of Interior has defered comment to the Peace Dept, which has similarly refused comment.

OOC: nope, not back into the swing of things, still going to be posting sporadically at best.



"preemptive killing of cops might not be such a bad idea from a personal saftey[sic] standpoint..." --Keevan Colton
"There's a word for bias you can't see: Yours." -- William Saletan

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-21 12:12am
Offline
Glamorous Commie
User avatar

Joined: 2003-02-26 12:39pm
Posts: 17383
Location: 差不多先生
Red Technocracy's CLIT leader speaks out

Image

- Saddamistan, the repressive nation where hatred of women is common, once again confirmed it's brutal and cruel nature by indicting and claiming to execute people who are harmless refugees!



Misereor

A short story of humanity's first contact

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-21 03:11am
Offline
FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
User avatar

Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
Posts: 19927
Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
Shinn Langley Soryu wrote:
ENCRYPTED TELEGRAM - POINT OF ORIGIN: ASHFORD CITY, DUCHY OF LANGLEY - DESTINATION: FARBANTI, SHROOMANIA

TO: His Excellency Prime Minister Shroom the 777th
FROM: Marshal Kyoshiro Todo, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Langley Armed Forces

I believe that the current situation in the Shadow Empire poses a grave threat to the stability of the entire FUN, and I ask your permission to base aerial and naval assets in your nation to assist in any efforts taken to pacify the Shadow Empire and restore its rightful government.


ENCRYPTED TELEGRAM - POINT OF ORIGIN: FABRANTI, SHROOMANIA - DESTINATION: ASHFORD CITY, DUCHY OF LANGLEY

FROM: Prime Minister Shroom the 777th
TO: Marshal Kyoshiro Todo, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Langley Armed Forces

Agreed. Basing rights granted to the Duchy of Langley. The Comona Island Air Base (in an island just to the north of Vulpesia) shall be temporarily allocated for Langley forces for the duration of the crisis.



Image Image Image
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-21 03:37am
Offline
_______
User avatar

Joined: 2003-01-05 02:36am
Posts: 12391
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida, USA
((OOC: A post-dated transcript of a conversation between the Sultan and President Shinra, before the Atlantis conference))

--BEGIN--

[Sultan] "Greetings, President Rufus."

[Shinra] "Greetings. And we thank you for rescinding the Jihad, and we acknowledge it has cost you much. If you could, would you give us a quick update on the situation?"

[Sultan] "Yes, President Rufus, thank you for your help.

"We currently have occupied and secured the western half of the nation. Including Al-Freedom. The traitor Zahedi has most of the eastern half. He has about 20,000 men, mostly local people who are very familiar of the lands there. We currently have only about 8,000. Both sides have modest amounts of armor and artillery and each a small squadron of Mig-23s. Some ProTec men have begun setting up over here."

"Unfortunately, I don't know what ProTec is doing, they found us." The Sultan was slightly embarrased. "What we need now, is to end this pointless civil war of ours, I strongly favor a vast force to kill the traitor and his troops. But I think there has been too much people dead.

"I am willing to negotiate. But this negotiation might need to be carried out on a neutral land."

[Shinra] "Understood. I will certainly bring it up. But now I have to go attend the conference. Stay safe."

--END--



Image
"How can I wait unknowing?
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)

"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-21 03:45am
Offline
_______
User avatar

Joined: 2003-01-05 02:36am
Posts: 12391
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida, USA
Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:
Imperial Chronicles

"The Greater Good." The Emperor laughed. "As a God-fearing man, I would tell you that Good is only as good as how man makes it. Sometimes one has to do a little evil to achieve some good, unfortunately.

At this point of time, I think either we do something or sit back and watch the disaster unfold. The only problems I foresee in military intervention, is that as with all historical problems, backing one horse and not the other, can only invite a blow back effect."


"Indeed. I did talk with the Sultan, prior to my attendance here. He feels that we should at least offer a negotiation to the Jihadists, to be carried out on neutral ground.

"Of course we have no way of knowing if they'll accept, but at least we can tell ourselves we tried, right?"

====================

Outside Atlantis Conference Hall

Shinra Republic Chief of Staff Brian Sinclair was walking back to the guest quarters after the recess was called. He noticed Arik and his staff gather together in a limousine and leave, shook his head, and continued on. He felt bad for King Paul, not only for the fact of his illness, but because his effort to forge some international coalition to help Terra Libertia was simply falling apart.

I wonder what the President will make of all this.



Image
"How can I wait unknowing?
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)

"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-21 05:06am
Offline
FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
User avatar

Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
Posts: 19927
Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
Somewhere over the Central Sea
Today

Image

Tanker: "That's it, that's it... steady... steady... slowly, come on. Easy now, slide it in.... that's it! Good job, Mobius 1. Refueling in progress."

Tanker: "Alright, we're done here. Go back to your mission, Mobius 1."

Tanker: "Good luck."

Image

AWACS: "Mobius 1, this is SkyEye - I'll be your AWACS for today."

AWACS: "Heading south, 200 KMs from Shadow airspace."

AWACS: "What's this?"

Image

Unknown: "Volk-19, this is control. We've got something on radar. Your orders are to intercept and shoot down any foreign aircraft attempting to enter Shadow Empire airspace. You know what to do."

AWACS: "We've got incoming bogeys. Two... three... no, four. Four Shadow MiG-21 Fishbeds. Looks like the General was serious about that no-fly zone."

Image

Volk-19: "Weapons systems on. We've got a target. Looks Shroomanian."

AWACS: "That's it, they're hostiles. They can't see you, but they sure as hell can see me and they're gunning for it. I'm peeling off before they can get me in range."

Image

AWACS: "Alright Mobius 1, you're cleared to engage."

AWACS: "Mobius 1, engaging."

Volk-19: "We've got enemy radar spike!"

AWACS: "Mobius 1, Fox 3."

Volk-19: "Evade!"

Volk-20: "It's all over my ass!"

Volk-19: "Volk-20, evade!"

AWACS: "Missile shot trashed. He dodged it... must've been trained by our own TOP GUNs."

AWACS: "Watch your six, Mobius 1. These guys aren't nuggets."

Volk-19: "Volk-20, are you alright?

Volk-20: "I'm fine."

AWACS: "Mobius 1, Fox 2. Fox 2!"

Volk-21: "He's firing again!"

Volk-19: "Volk-21, Volk-22, he's got you on radar. Move!"

Image

Volk-22: "I'm hit!"

Volk-19: "Eject, Volk-22! Eject"

AWACS: "Mobius 1, splash one bandit. Make that two."

Volk-20: "Volk-21 and 22 are gone. He's cutting us down!"

AWACS: "Good job, Mobius 1. Enemy threat level down by 50%."

Volk-19: "Goddamn Shroomanians... this guy's TOP GUN trained. We can't take him - we can't even see him!"

AWACS: "Mobius 1, you have one missile left, then you'll have to switch to gun."

AWACS: "Wait, something's happening."

Image

Unknown: "Volk-19, do you copy?"

Image

Unknown: "Return to base immediately. Volk-19, do you copy? You're getting killed out there."

Image

Volk-19: "Understood. Aborting mission. RTB."

Volk-20: "Let's get out of here."

AWACS: "They're falling back, Mobius 1. Looks like you took on the entire Shadow Air Force and won."

AWACS: "Those Shadow pilots were TOP GUN trained like you. If their voices sounded familiar, that's probably because you've played beach volleyball with them in North Point. But this is war, Mobius 1, and even our friends can become enemies. We have to do our jobs, even if it means making them crash and burn on their asses."

AWACS: "Now that they know we're dangerous, I think we've both had enough action for one day. Mobius 1, RTB."



Image Image Image
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-21 05:17am
Offline
Emperor's Hand
User avatar

Joined: 2006-05-15 10:36am
Posts: 11496
Location: At the Helm of the HAB Star Dreadnaught Star Fist
RogueIce wrote:
"Indeed. I did talk with the Sultan, prior to my attendance here. He feels that we should at least offer a negotiation to the Jihadists, to be carried out on neutral ground.

"Of course we have no way of knowing if they'll accept, but at least we can tell ourselves we tried, right?"


"Negotiation? Sounds like an idea. I think we should give that a chance first and see how it goes. Maybe the entire civil war can be construed to be an issue of .... indiscretion?" The Emperor laughed lightly.

"Alright. Let's try that route first. Hopefully better things come out of it."

The two shook their hands with smiles and then proceeded about their own business.



Image
STGOD: Byzantine Empire
Your spirit, diseased as it is, refuses to allow you to give up, no matter what threats you face... and whatever wreckage you leave behind you.
Kreia

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-21 07:06am
Offline
Jedi Council Member
User avatar

Joined: 2007-09-15 10:46am
Posts: 1872
Location: Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina
Location: Shadow Empire, Capital City Sarajevo, Resistance safehouse

Talia was looking at Solid Snail, she was quite impressed by the Shroomanian agent. He was just standing there, smoking his cigarette, not caring much for the way she was looking at him.

[Talia] We appreciate your help out there.

[Solid Snail] No problem. Now, tell me whats going on here?

[Talia] I have instructions for you from the emperor.

[Solid Snail] The Emperor! I thought he was dead.

[Talia] He isn't. We managed to keep him alive. But that wont last long with out your help.

[Solid Snail] Tell me what needs to be done.

[Talia] The situation here is quite grim. The forces of General Karic control the capitol and most of the country. Those still loyal to the emperor control the northern province. The General is mobilizing his forces to attack the loyalists. We have been trying to slow him down, but there is only so much we can do. You must make contact with the FUN forces, so they can deploy reinforcments to the northern province, and to the capital.

[Solid Snail] And where is your emperor?

[Talia] He is in an underground bunker beneath the city. We were unable to move him to a more secure location. You must inform your government of what is happening.

[Solid Snail] Alright, anything else.

[Talia] Yes. You must help us save the emperor. The Generals forces discovered his location half an hour ago. I have information that the fighting is fierce, our forces need help.

[Solid Snail] You can count on me. Tell me about this bunker.

[Talia]There is only one entrance to the bunker and it is through the city sewers. As for the sewers they have several entrances and most of them are under the Generals control.

[Solid Snail] Lets go.

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-21 08:48am
Offline
FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
User avatar

Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
Posts: 19927
Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
Sarajevo

Image

To save the Emperor and the nation, they had to contact the FUN Force to deploy forces to the northern province and to the capital. And to contact the FUN Force, they needed access to the Shadow communications grid currently under General Karic's control.

[Talia] "I have a disc that contains information pertaining to the General's troop movements and deployments, it won't be a matter of difficulty to upload these files and send them to your people."

[Talia] "But it will be useless. The ShroomSatTV hub won't work if the General's forces are still jamming the entire country. How can the FUN possibly receive the transmission?"

[Snail] "We have our ways."

And those ways involved several Baernish submarines currently patrolling the waters around the Shadow Empire, and the Yer Mom, the submarine that launched Snail and his SDV. The Yer Mom had surveillance equipment, and reconnaissance UCAVs in the air. It was less of an all-seeing eye and more of an all-hearing ear, or an all-smelling nose.

[Talia] "The BBC building was trashed when the General threw all journalists out of the country. Those who didn't go, those who wanted to maintain their journalistic integrity, he had them shot."

[Snail] "..."

[Talia] "The tunnel network stretches all over the city. Emperor Shady was a very paranoid man, so with these 'sewers', you can actually reach almost any part of the city."

[Talia] "Here we are."

[Snail] "Normally, it would be ladies first, but I'm sure you'd understand if I went ahead."

[Talia] "By all means."

Image

[Snail] "There are sentries posted. They're armed with five-five-sixers, and pineapples."

[Talia] "Is there a way of going through without them noticing us?"

[Snail] "Yeah."

Image

[Snail] "Follow me."

Image

[Talia] "The satellite uplink is upstairs. Come on."

[Snail] "Okay."

[Talia] "It's in this room."

[Snail] "Hold on."

[Talia] "Right. Snails first."

Image

[Talia] "A soldier!"

[Soldier] "Huh? Who was th- urk!"

Solid Snail snapped the soldier's neck.

[Snail] "Right. We better work fast, before his buddies come looking for him."

[Talia] "I'm on it. I'm sending the FUN Force the locations of the General's SAM sites, and the position of his forces. Transmit to Astoria, come on."

[Snail] "You better hurry..."

[Talia] "Just a little bit more.... there. We're done."

[Snail] "And we're out of time."

[Soldiers] "Freeze!"

Image

[Talia] "Shit."

[Soldier] "Shut your mouth, witch!"

[Snail] "Talia, get down!"

[Soldier] "What the - hey!"

Image

It was time Snail introduced them to CQC - close quarters combat.

Image

Hand to hand was the basis of all warfare.

Image

He struck hard and fast -

Image

- and shot them all in the face.

Bang.

"Come on, Talia. We're done. Let's get out of here."



Image Image Image
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-21 12:04pm
Offline
Jedi Council Member
User avatar

Joined: 2006-04-30 12:49pm
Posts: 1945
Location: Back in NOVA
ProTec's operations in the Sultanate had really picked up speed. ProTec had been providing regular intel reports to the Sultan's men, based primarily on radio intercepts, with the help of informers and some agents on the ground. A select few of the Sultan's men, mainly his bodyguards, had also received some training.

There was a small amount of direct actions being undertaken by ProTec as well. Mostly small teams were neutralizing infiltrators and saboteurs in the Sultan's territory that were undertaking and planning attacks. Sniper teams were also sent to eliminate enemy leadership, mostly mid-level, if the intel was good enough. These sorts of operations had the utmost secrecy with no official records being kept and reports on them being delivered in person.



SD.net World MK1: Indhopal
SD.net World MK2: 2nd. Republic of Indhopal
SD.net World MK3: Republic of Chilitina

Top
 Profile  
 Post subject:  PostPosted: 2008-05-21 12:30pm
Offline
FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
User avatar

Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
Posts: 19927
Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
SOFIA
Shroomanian Office - Fungal Intelligence Agency

"Our man has accomplished his primary mission objective."

"Good," the director replied. "And the second objective?"

"He is no doubt coordinating with the loyalist resistance. He will have to work with them to designate targets for the impending airstrikes."

"Yes... the Mushroom Military and the FUN Force can apparently mobilize all of their air assets. But what of their ground forces?"

"They can't deploy any boots on the ground. The closest we have are the PeZookian GROMs. They're good, but they're only 200 men. Not even 300."

"They may be Spartans for all I care, but they won't be enough," Director John Baylor concluded. "Risto, do you have a line to Syndromia?"

"Syndromia?"

"Yes," the Director interlaced his fingers. "After most of us left Syndromia, some opted to stay behind - for a fee."

"Mercenaries. You're thinking..."

The Director grinned, and turned to look at the flatscreen TV. The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel was on, and coincidentally, it had a very relevant program...

Image



FUN Force HQ, Qudlivun
Midnight

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being here at this late hour."

"As you know, the situation in the Shadow Empire has been critical this past week. Just hours ago, one of our pilots engaged multiple Shadow fighters over the Central Sea, near the Empire's borders."

"A significant portion of their military has been taken over by the coup forces. To what extent, we didn't know... until now."

"A FIA operative in the Shadow Empire has sent us vital information regarding the disposition and deployment of General Karic's troops. With this information in hand, we are currently planning for an all-out air attack to pacify the General's forces before they can eliminate the loyalist resistance."

"We know that the Shadow Empire has, in the past, purchased weapons systems from the Red Technocracy and other OMSK nations. With their diamond industry, they were able to amass the funds needed to acquire a disproportionate amount of firepower for a nation of their size."

"Thus, it is crucial to eliminate their surface-to-air defensive capabilities before we can truly commence an all-out air-to-ground assault. We do not want any of our birds to be shot down while providing close-air-support to the loyalist resistance."

"Before the SAF and Langley send their F-15s and F-16s, our F-22s must take down all of their defenses - fighters, SAMs, Blackbeards, everything."

"For this vital mission, we will be relying on the SAF's 118th Tactical Fighter Squadron - Mobius."

Image



Image Image Image
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!

Top
 Profile  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 1228 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group