SDNWorld Redux: Story Thread the Second

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

(OOC: Cowritten with Norseman)

Imperial Chronicles

The telegram arrived in the evening and was immediately forwarded to the desk of the Exarch. Decius looked at the telegram with widened eyes. "And they say the ending of slavery in Astaria is impossible. I would say this is a positive step in the right direction," said the Exarch.

"Is it enough?" the aide asked.

"Well, beggars can't be choosers. And quite frankly, it's time the CSR cease its grudge against Astaria. There's no use using so much munitions against a relatively strategically unimportant state."

"Their ambassador apparently wants to arrange a meeting in the next few days."

"Well, arrange something then. In the meantime, let's craft a proper statement."

======================================================================

Constantinople Times

Byzantine Government welcomes the reversal of a long standing Astarian slavery policy, pledges to aid the Astarian government in its transition

The Byzantine foreign ministry has issued a statement welcoming the Astarian decision to reverse a long standing policy of legalised slavery. The Byzantine Government urges parties with grevious with the Astarian government to settle their differences amicably and not resort to arms.

=================================================================================

A week or so later...

William Bainbridge was escorted into the meeting room. The ambassador of Astaria looked harried. A flurry of news, including the use of defoliants on Astarian agricultural land from mysterious foreign invaders using aircraft which the CSR obviously does not have, was a lot to take in within a short period of time. And now, he was here to present a plea for aid.

Decius sat on the couch and waited in the meeting room. A knock and the door opened. He stood and smiled and extended a hand to the ambassador. "Welcome Ambassador, a pleasure to meet you."

William Bainbridge eased a smile and said, "Thank you, Exarch. Thank you for allowing me to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine. Please, sit." Gesturing to the sofa, the ambassador sat on the opposite end of the sofa. After some formalities of coffee and other pleasantries, it was down to business. "I understand, you wish to talk to me about some issues of mutual importance."

Taking a deep breath, the ambassador began, "My government has instructed me to notify you of certain events, and to make certain requests upon your government. To wit I am to inform you of a recent attack by unidentified forces upon Astaria. This attack used Firebee drones to disperse defoliants and biological agents. Both of which were designed to attack our crops and livestock. In short a deliberate attempt to starve our entire nation.

As such we ask Byzantium, and all other civilized nations, to condemn this act, and join with us in an effort to ensure that such weapons will never again be used.

"However I am also asked to make two requests, first and foremost Astaria wishes to purchase surplus naval vessels, as well as naval patrol aircraft, surface to air missiles, and well there's a list of items.

"The second request is for a small mission to help us repatriate any former slaves that may have been taken illegally. This is a very delicate issue of course, but we feel that our state is best served by asking for the help of neutral nations. They will have full access to our records."

"Defoliants and biologicals?" Decius eyebrows arced. "There are only two possible nations that use defoliants as an offensive weapon. Shepistan is one, and then possibly Japanistan. But only Shepistan has openly used it, in Valeria, no less."

"My government does not want to speculate at this time," Bainbridge said.

"We have ships for ASW and planes for ASuW purposes. I will forward this to the Emperor for consideration. Note however that because of the nature of the.. political situation, arms alone are not going to solve the problem, let alone the CSR's reaction to our supplying you of weapons. With regard to your request to assist you to repatriate any former slaves, we believe we can work something out. Further, this attack on your lands is most disturbing. Do you need food aid?"

"That is under consideration my government. For the moment, we are assessing the damage. Another thing, we are concerned about the continued CSR aggression against our nation. Especially in as much as our government would have done its utmost to remedy the Star of Sweethaven incident, if given the chance."

Decius' face hardened. He himself was not too pleased by the CSR's belligerence at all. Privately the Byzantine Government had made his views crystal clear to the CSR that such belligerence is of little use, beyond salving a nation's pride. "I have indicated to the CSR that we do not approve of their actions against your state. In fact, this recent attack on your soil using defoliants will provide us with more ammunition to stop them from harrassing you. But as I understand it, you don't wish to talk to the CSR after what they have done."

"No, we do not."

Letting out a sigh, "I will see what can be done. For the moment, we will do our best to help your people."

"Thank you sir."

[PeZook]

FASTA bulletin

Mercury 2b launch given the go-ahead

Mercury 2b, a second mission in the Mercury 2 series of capsule tests, has been given a green light by FASTA administration.

The mission follows a semi-succesful flight of Mercury 2a, which carried a biological payload to orbit. The capsule orbited the Earth for four days, and de-orbited succesfully. However, guidance failure cause the spacecraft to land in Anatolia, rather than the projected landing site in the Mediterrenean. This caused extensive damage to the spacecraft - however, the biological payload survived the harsh landing, with only one of the three turtles losing an eye.

Mercury 2b will follow the previous mission by introducing orbital orientation tests. It will also be the first duration flight, to last for eight days, and will carry further scientific instrumentation in order to gather data about conditions in near-earth space.

This time, instead od turtles, fruit flies and bacteria, the capsule will contain two Golden Retriever puppies, Venus and Luna.


Venus (left) and Luna (right) at FASTA Animal Training And Conditioning facilities

First Japanistani satellite to launch on an Atlas-Sputnik rocket on February 12th

The first of three Japanistani satellites covered by the multilateral agreement permitting manned overflights of Japanistani territorry for the purpose of the Moon mission is scheduled to launched out of the newly comissioned Atlas-Sputnik Launch Pad B at the Jerusalem Space Center.

The satellite was produced entirely in Japanistan, and will perform Radar Search and Rescue Duties. Further two satellites, the JNE-1 Galactic Radiation and Background Observatory and the JNI-2 Infrared Observatory will be launched in March and April, respectively. The long launch turnaround is claimed to be a result of thorough quality checks performed on boosters, to ensure no payload loss during ascent.

Preliminary studies conducted into Soyuz capsule requirements

The Soyuz capsule - the next logical step in FASTA's trip to the Moon - has officially entered the drawing board, as FASTA officials comission initial studies into requirements and characteristics of the capsule. Real design work will have to wait until the Mercury spacecraft is tested and proven, and all basic systems are worked out.

FASTA unmanned space exploration

FASTA currently conducts the following unmanned space exploration programs:

1) Lunar Orbital Reconeissance (LOR): a program to explore the Moon with unmanned probes, forming a map of the surface. Essential for chosing the landing site, and creating the equipment necessary for use during the manned landings.

2) Lunar Surface Landing (LSR): also a necessary element of preparation for the manned landings, the program will include several remote landings on the surface, to explore potential landing sites, gather data on the lunar environment and return samples of lunar soil.

3) Remote Planetary Exploration (RPE): involving the use of unmanned probes to explore other planets of our solar system.

[Lonestar]

MSA Launch Facility, Old Dominion

The Ares I launch vehicle lifted off, carrying Lowell Satellites 6 and 7 into orbit. Slowly but surely thought MSA Director Jim Hickam. In fact, the launch facility was something of a madhouse these past few months, with the various MESS Scientific institutions suddenly getting a massive influx of money, for as yet unclear reasons.

I bet that creep Blitzschlag has something to do with it.

The Royal Palace
"We had to bend and twist in unnatural ways, but we got Colonel Jones there." Said LTG Sharpe of the BMI. "I'm still not 100% convinced that those 'you-eff-ohs' were Shepistani."

"Don't be a fool, herr direktor," Dr. Blitzschlag said. "Zee Rock-chuckers are obsessed with their drones and zere bio-weapons. It is important that we comb zee country with a fine tooth and get samples."

You Livonian piece of crap Sharpe thought. "Doctor, I don't come down to your office and advise you on how to create crimes against nature, please don't tell me how to do my job…"

"Alright, knock it off." Lonestar said. "General Sharpe, any word yet on who exactly is stirring shit up in Kanawha?"

"Not yet, it seems to be same-old, same-old. The Mount Vernon dragoons found some interesting media at the insurgent compound West of Laeger; we have a list of targets of interest."

Lonestar scratched his chin. "Is Al-Garner ready?"

"He's pissed off at the size of the slice of pie, but yeah, he's ready."

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Official Communique to all SNC members and Shroomania

Recommend that an SNC meeting be held in Constantinople in 2 months. Do you all agree?

=======================================================================

Constantinople Times

Construction of Large Scale Fusion Reactor begins in Commune 1 in CSR

Construction of the Large Scale Fusion Reactor (LSFR) has begun, along with the laying of foundation of the Fusion Materials institute. The Fusion Material Institute will explore materials to be used in commercial fusion reactors. The goal of the LSFR is to study and experiment with plasma to pave the way for a commercial reactor. "Plasma is among the most misunderstood phenomena in the universe. The LSFR's scale will allow us to experiment with plasma in ways never before conceived," says a spokesman from the Nuclear Energy institute in Thessalonika.

[K. A. Pital]

Official Communique to all SNC members and Shroomania

Recommend that an SNC meeting be held in Constantinople in 2 months. Do you all agree?

Yes. The CSR delegation would be fully present, with the entire Council of the People's Commisars and the President attending.

[DarthShady]

Official Communique to all SNC members and Shroomania

Recommend that an SNC meeting be held in Constantinople in 2 months. Do you all agree?

Yes. The Premier will personally attend this meeting.

[Master_Baerne]

Baernish Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Private Communique
FROM: His Grace Duke James of Baerne, in consultation with Her Excellency Countess Domizia, Minister for Foreign Affairs
TO: The Kingdom of the Vineyards

We extend our deepest regrets over the recent attempt on King Brandon's life, and ask if the identity of the perpetrators are known and if assistance is required to bring them to justice?

[CmdrWilkens]

Royal Space Agency sets date for first launch

The Royal Space Agencytoday indicated that through its parent agency, The MESS Space Agency, it has confirmed a launch date for its first in what will eventually be a string of at least 20 weather, communications, and sceintific satellite launches in the coming year. All laucnhes will be made from the current MSA facility in the Old Dominion while joint Wilkonian, Shinra and Tian Xian funds are currently being used to procure land and begin construction of a new launch facility in MESSamerica. MSA officials commented on condition of annonymity that the first launch form the new facility could be possible by the first quarter of next year if all goes as planned.

[Karmic Knight]

New Sheoth Castle, Commonwealth of Vineyards

How an assassination attempt really boosted public support for even the most dubious project really made Brandon a happy Benevolent Despot. Brandon leaned back in his desk, smiling at the shin pain he had missed for about three years, the usual list of problems involving the assimilation, such as the lack of any definitive population size for the new provinces. This was exceedingly detrimental to the Vinish goal with her new territories, and it would almost assure a failure of Operation N/SK.

Brandon looked up at the now updated map of Frequesue he had on a whiteboard in his office. Many things had changed, the CFR, once a monolith of troubles was shaping into something resembling a stable region, so long as ethnic strife didn’t become a problem. The CSR had removed itself from next to the Vineyards, peacefully, amazingly enough. Strange shit went down in the Costa, and the FTO survived to live another year.

That last bit was the most surprising of all; the organization was still surviving, and succeeding, while one of the largest contributors was in political gridlock no less. Operations Golden Parachute, Scooby Snack, and 1947 all were now rendered moot, as the FTO would apparently live longer than some of its leaders.

Brandon picked up his phone; he needed his legislative branch to convene and set a precedent for centralization before the Articles of Union went the way of the Articles of Confederation. Not that option was a reality, but he was a very paranoid person.

“Yes sire?” the other line asked.

“Call a session of the Grand Assembly, we’ve go work to do.”

“Yes, sire.”

Baernish Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Private Communique
FROM: His Grace Duke James of Baerne, in consultation with Her Excellency Countess Domizia, Minister for Foreign Affairs
TO: The Kingdom of the Vineyards

We extend our deepest regrets over the recent attempt on King Brandon's life, and ask if the identity of the perpetrators are known and if assistance is required to bring them to justice?

From: Commonwealth Internal Security Division, Operation JFK
To: The Duchy of Baerne
The Commonwealth appreciates your sympathy. We have a likely suspect detained and currently being questioned, if it turns out to be a multinational conspiracy, we will contact the Duchy of Baerne in specific and the FTO in general to try and stamp it out. If the Duchy has any skilled interrogators, and wouldn’t mind losing their services for the next few weeks or so, the Commonwealth would appreciate their services in extracting information from the capture assailant.

[Shroom Man 777]

FUN FORUM FIVE
The Super Sirnoth Shindig

The FUN conference was being held in a grand reception hall built specially for this event. It was made of fine marble, with brightly painted Corinthian columns. The gardens outside had all manner of exotic flowers, which would be changed daily.

His citizens would have their own misconceptions of hierarchies based on who arrived when. Therefore, he'd built the entrance with many doors, enough for several dozen to enter side by side. With the appropriate amount of fanfare, the various leaders would enter, each following a standard bearer carrying the respective national flag. That saved the trouble of publicly announcing them (with the ranking the order would imply), while ensuring that everyone was aware of their identities.

That was the first problem out of the way. Now he just had to make sure there weren't other difficulties. The night's events seemed harmless enough. After the reception, there was the feast. All the dishes were cut into tiny pieces that spoons and forks could easily handle. Therefore, the absence of knives would have a logical explanation. A logical explanation besides "So the attendees couldn't stab each other."

Afterwards, the guests would relocate to the conference chamber upstairs. There, they would discuss various matters concerning FUN, FASTA, and probably many other acronyms Setzer had never heard about.

Too bad King Paul couldn't make it, Shroom thought as he made his grand entrance, alongside Alison and Melchett McMeistervater. They were also accompanied by the PeZookian delegation, which was missing the King but had PeZookia's foreign minister... that guy with the crazy name no one could pronounce. There was also that Zoran guy, from the Shadow Union. And that hardass from the Crimson Star Republic, that guy who had that shouting match with that woman from San Dorado... whatshername... Cate Blanchett? Or something.

Shroom couldn't remember their names, so Alison reminded him.

As she did so, the other folks went over to their own tables, Melchett met Exarch Decius to plan for the various naughty activities they'd do after the FUN Forum while the scheming CSR and USSR people began scheming their schemes and planning their perfidious plots.

Eventually, it was just the Prime Minister and his aide in a sea of strange and unfamiliar faces, with wigs on their heads.

But Shroom didn't mind, and neither did Ali. They both had awesome outfits.



And, to Shroom's pleasant surprise, he did see some familiar faces. Particularly, pretty faces from the Red Orchid services.



"Prime Minister!" Alison protested. "Wipe your mouth."

Official Communique to all SNC members and Shroomania

Recommend that an SNC meeting be held in Constantinople in 2 months. Do you all agree?

"Cool," Melchett McMeistervater answered Exarch Decius.

"From this communication, you can infer that Shroomania is officially an SNC observer," the Exarch said with an air of dignity. "Now, Melchett, what have you been up to?"

"Well..."

"Yes?"

"Remember the last time?"

"Yes," the Exarch raised an eyebrow.

"Well, the last time, my novelty breasts were gold plated, right?"

"...yes," Exarch Decius sighed silently.

"Well, this time, I've given them diamond-studded nipples."

"...indeed. Rather immodest, but certainly eye-catching," the Exarch surrendered. "So, this time, Vinish or Byzantine? Or maybe some Crimson vodka?"

"How about something different, like tequila?" Melchett offered eagerly. "Canissian Spicks."

"Deal."

"I'll tell mein Fuhrer... I mean, Prime Minister."

[Lonestar]

Brickhall

"It isn't everyday, " Fleet Admiral Saldana grinned "That we get to commission a new SSN. The Hammerhead is the first new major fleet combatant to be added in years, and the first of the 4-SSNs ordered three years ago to be commissioned."


"No wonder you're in such a good mood. Surprised that the Lord Fairfax didn't go down to Norfolk…" Air Marshal Shultz said.

"The trip he is on is important." Chancellor of the Exchequer Chiu said. "Now, you wanted to talk about the EFV program?"

"Ah, yes." Saldana said. "The Program manager is telling me that some changes to the design are being implemented to reduce the instances of breakdowns the 3 prototypes have exhibited. We can take the money to order a revised prototype from the funds authorized, but I am required to inform…"

"Fine." Chiu moved the print outs around on the table. Most of the fellow members of the MESS had expressed great interest in purchasing the EFV once it was mature, and would inject quite a bit of money into the country. "How's work on those frigates going?"

"Slow. The Rapidan will be finished within a year, but as you know our primary limitations in regards to speed are the various electronics that have to be brought together. It'll even be worse once work gets underway on the new CGN class. We may be trying to cram too many new technologies with the whole 'New Horizons' family…"

"But probably cheaper than designing our own stuff. Economy of scale and all that." Chiu said.

"Yessir."

"Hmm..anything else?"

"As you know, repair work on the Lord Fairfax is going to take 3 years…and the Bulwark is due for a major overhaul next year. For about 8 months a carrier will be unavailable to the ODN. We were thinking of, ah, requesting that an allied CVN makes several port visits to the OD during the timeframe."

"I'll pass it along to the Lord Fairfax…Air Marshal?"

"Nothing to particularly report. The Lord Fairfax got out pretty quietly…the VC-25 is still on the runway at Langley, although I can't imagine he's having a good time on that C-17…."

[Siege]

This… Is Station One, San Dorado’s News Source Supreme

President returns to the Palace
President Sidney Hank today returned to the Presidential Palace after a two-week vacation spent in a private mansion in the Kirkwood Mountains. “I’m back, fitter than ever, and ready for the election year” said a short statement released by the Presidential Press Agency. Rumors of a burn-out, then, seem greatly exaggerated…

Blockade Breakers enter active service
The 504th Tactical Bomb Squadron “Blockade Breakers” has entered active service with the SDAF. The fourth squadron to be equipped with the F-111XL, its primary tasks will be to deliver tactical airstrikes to enemy targets as well as act as ‘missileer’ interceptors of potential enemy bomber groups.

Stratellites Arrive
Shroomanian megacorporation MacMillan today delivered a number of Stratellites to San Dorado. Ordered last year, the stratellites will function as permanent all-weather AEW&C platforms for San Dorado and will be towed into position and integrated into the integrated defense network of the city-state over the coming months.

Corporate Elections Approach
All across San Dorado citizens are readying themselves for Democracy Day. Come the fourth of July, all citizen-shareholders will have their four-yearly chance to directly affect the course of the corporate state by electing the Director they think is best suited to represent their district on the Board of Directors. As always, the rapidly approaching Democracy Day also heralds an increase in corporate scheming as the paid puppets of San Dorado’s various megacorporations jockey for pole position in the most important districts…

[Coyote]

Seaside Palace, Canissia



King Arik Coyotus-I looked over the morning reports, as usual. All the Astaria folders were now yellow-- if Canissia had been involved directly they would have been red, but since it was of peripheral interest to the RPRC it was simply yellow. The King glanced over the information and shrugge dit off. It wasn't even worth a yellow, as far as he was concerned. There were no Canissian ties to Astaria, there were the usual look-outs for Canissian citizens kidnapped by Astaria but those were ongoin concerns and nothing particularly new.

The slave state was largely ignored by Canissia, considered a sick aberration among modern nations. Business was barred from investing there, and investments in overseas businesses that did work there was also barred. It was as isolated from Canissia as was possible, so the thought of the slaveocracy going down in flames was, for Canissia, a spectator sport at best. No one had believed the too-obvious attempt to frame the MESS with some of the earlier attacks-- it hadn't even made much of a dent in the blogosphere.

Of primary importance to the King was the Canissia folder. It showed the THEL program proceeding apace; in fact the entire coastline of Canissia was blanketed in THEL coverage now. The project now went to increased coverage of likely routes-of-approach, and layered protection for cities and seaports, and mountain ranges that would lead to the interior.

The blinding lasers were also goin in, as were increased Patriot SAMs. Some Air Force Generals were pushing for the purchase of S-400s from the CSR, which Arik thought might be a good idea... but then, why use S-400s when a swarm of drones would do the trick, and make it more difficult for counter-measures? He signed his approval to a limited purchase, but only in conjunction with an increase in spending for drones.

The Air Force now had a full wing of nothing but drone interceptors. They were proving to be cheaper than manned aircraft, and increasingly difficult tests had shown them to be resilient to EMP and other means of jamming and countermeasure. Even if the drones were cut off from their central control point, their autonomous programming took over and they maneuvered their way to their targets automatically anyway-- and with more evasion and skill than any dumb missile or BOMARC "javelin-on-a-rocket".

Still, he had to break the news about the HERV virus, and he was not looking forward to that.

Let them have their little wars for awhile longer, he thought, as he set aside the folders to see go watch HEUG KITTENS with his children.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Imperial Chronicles

"So what is the next step? I would say that the next 24 Air Defence Legions are nearly ready for commissioning. They have been delayed because of the constant restructuring of existing units. Existing Air Defence Regional Commands have grown steadily as well. Defence of our shores should be complete when we commission the new Legions, along with the coastal defence artillery units. Further, I expect more AEW&CSI stratellites to be commissioned soon, along with more AEW&CSI aircraft," said one general.

"I would say the next step is to adopt the mobile LAS-ER system from Tian Xia. We only need to study the control systems really. Our people here are more than capable of coming up with our own equivalent systems. Couple those with SLAMRAAM and we should be fine."

"What? Just how many systems do we wish to employ? The S-400 system, coupled with the Patriots, which is over kill already as it is. Do we have the budget? What of this MALI system from Tian Xia? I say we should adopt 6 batteries per legion."

"The MALI system? Well, I agree on that. I was hoping to either replace some of the existing Patriot systems with mobile LAS-ER. Not too difficult for us to adopt; we already use the land based LAS-ER system from the start. And those are slated for upgrades soon."

"Replacing the Patriots? I guess we could schedule that over the years, though I question the need. We need to focus on the next steps. For the next step in our air defence system, we ought to consider something close to a BOMARC. We have expertise in developing drones. What we ought to consider are high endurance drones, that have their own collective management system and radar system. These drones are autonomous, hover in the air after mass deployment, and they will aim and simply ram themselves against a target."

"That.. is going to need quite a bit of work."

"Some work has been laid down by our allies and I should say we ought to have our people conduct studies of the system."

"Well, I guess we can allocate some funding on the studies of such a system."

[Siege]

Diplomatic Communique, Priority Two

TO: Ministry of Trade, Royal People's Republic of Canissia
FROM: Office of Iago Morgan, General Directorate of Finance, Economy and Industry
SUBJECT: Drone Project/THEL program

Salutations!

For some time now the Corporate Republic of San Dorado has followed, with great interest, the trend toward automatization within the Canissian military. Always looking for further ways to enhance the defensive capabilities of our own armed forces, and taking into account the more than pleasant cooperation between our two nations over the course of the Canissian THEL program, San Dorado would like to inquire whether it would be possible for us to acquire some of your armed air defense drones. It is our belief that such autonomous craft could greatly enhance the security of the airspace of our city-state.

Was cordially signed, on behalf of the Board of Directors,

Director Iago Morgan, DIFEI

[Master_Baerne]

From: Commonwealth Internal Security Division, Operation JFK
To: The Sovereign Duchy of Baerne
The Commonwealth appreciates your sympathy. We have a likely suspect detained and currently being questioned, if it turns out to be a multinational conspiracy, we will contact the Duchy of Baerne in specific and the FTO in general to try and stamp it out. If the Duchy has any skilled interrogators, and wouldn’t mind losing their services for the next few weeks or so, the Commonwealth would appreciate their services in extracting information from the capture assailant.

We are pleased to offer the services of BIS Special Agent Robert Parr, an expert in interrogation techniques. He ought to arrive in New Sheoth within five days.

[Steve]

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer


President Garrett leaves for Old Continent tour

ADAMS, CAPITAL DISTRICT - President Garrett departed Geoffries-Landston International last night to begin the long-awaited state visit to the Old Continent, making him the first sitting Cascadian President to leave the continent since President Hayes attended the 1947 Peace Conference to end the Second World War. The President and First Lady, with their eldest and youngest children accompanying them, will visit a succession of Old Continent capitals, starting with Stasograd where the President is expected to meet with Crimson leader President Stanislav. No formal itinerary has been posted for the President's trip save for his destinations. He is expected to visit the capitals of all four Slavic Confederacy nations as well as Neve Tikvah and Farbanti.

[MKSheppard]

Somewhere in the Caymans Part One

"You should have waited before launching an attack on the Astarian agricultural system," rumbled Stanislav, as President Garret nodded in assent.

"My analysts assured me that the time was ripe for the optimal effects on their backwards system." replied Sheppard.

"Shows how much your analysts know -- jack and shit." came the reply from the doorway as Lord Fairfax; aka Lonestar aka M. Bouchier, entered. "Can we get this over with? I have more important things to do than to hang around with a rock-chucker."

Stas sighed. What moron had thought it was a great idea to put those two in the same room. "We still have one more participant to arrive. Then we can get down to the serious buisiness."

At that moment, a man wearing a pink tutu entered. "The Minister of Mercenaries, Shroomanian Republic has arrived!" he shouted.


The Shroomanian Minister of Mercenaries

Everyone in the room suppressed a mental shudder.

"Now that we're all here; let us begin." intoned Stas.

"Why are we all here? Don't you guys all hate each other?" asked the MinMerc, obviously befuddled. He'd only been told that an important meeting was to take place with the president of the CSR.

"We're here, because we hate slavery more than we hate each other," remarked President Garrett. "Otherwise, you'd never see the Shepistani and Old Dominion leaders in the same room."

To Be Continued....

"So..." began the MinMerc hestitatingly, "I assume you are in need of the services of Shroomwater, the Shroomcats, Shroomanian Solutions Incorporated, and Shroomanian Outcomes Limited?"

"Actually," began Lonestar. "We have a pending lawsuit in Shroomanian courts, proving that the MESS was first with MESSwater, and that Shroomwater is clearly a derivative name hoping to steal the success that the MESS has built with their MESSwater brand of moral mercenaries."

"You can go fuck yourselves and cry into the bleeding breasts of your goddamned WHORES!" shouted the MinMerc, causing Stas to wince. Goddamned Shroomanians.

Surprisingly, it was Sheppard who saved the meeting. "Ah, what we need you for is to help support Operations GOLD MINE and CHAOS. Due to the treaty of friendship between Japanistan and Astaria, if we were to attack Astaria formally to depose it's government and eradicate slavery, Japanistan would declare war on us all, and come to the defense of the goddamn slavers. So we must do it from the shadows."

"So it's you guys who are behind the recent attacks in Astaria?"

"Something like that," replied Garrett. "Although Lord Fairfax here is a recent inductee into the circle, like you."

"Recent events have proven that we need mercenary support for our various destabilization operations following unexpectedly heavy losses to Astarian defenses," began Sheppard. "Thus, we would like to hire the Shroomcats and the Shroomhawks to provide the necessary air support."

The MinMerc's face lit up. "The Shroomcats and Shroomhawks are the world's finest mercenary squadrons, flying the most advanced F-16s and F-18s in the world, and will take on any mission for a price! Though, I must admit that it shall be easier to get the Shroomcats' leader, James Shroom, to take on this mission; you know how damned moral he is. The Shroomhawks are much easier; they only care about the money."

"Excellent. Now that we have arranged for air support for our operations, let us discuss what shall come next in regard to the Slavers," continued Sheppard.

"You're gonna kill them all," replied Lord Fairfax, causing Sheppard's face to slighly droop. "How did you know about the Final Contigency Option?"

"Ain't that hard to predict what a rock-chucker will do when he fails."

Sheppard glared at Lonestar for several seconds. "Nevermind, we'll discuss the FCO later."

Watching the tense exchange between the two leaders, Garrett interrupted to keep the meeting on track. "What's next on our timetable is keeping the pressure on Astaria to encourage them to follow through completely with the abolition of slavery. As for the FCO, I don't like it that much; but we'll discuss it when we get around to it, as my colleague said."

Steve paused and drank from a conviently placed crystal tumbler to refresh his throat. "Our current objectives are to maintain the covert aid we have to anti-Astarian and anti-government groups in their so called 'Alliance' in Southern Veleria, and to establish what intelligence sources we can inside Astaria itself."

"Like unleashing biological weapons onto their agricultural system? Typical rock-chucker logic," muttered Lord Fairfax.

Steve rubbed his temples at that and glared at Sheppard, along with Stanislav.

"The Shepistanis authorized that independent of the other partners before recent events overtook the need for such...extreme measures. Though, I must admit that the Shepistani logic behind it that they explained to us when we confronted them about it was impeccable; we know that the Astarian economy simply does not work; and if we can cause even a partial collapse of their agricultural sector; that places enormous pressure on the Astarian leadership -- they cannot maintain their autarky and independence from everyone else if they have to import foodstuffs enmasse from foreign countries. That gives us an opening in that we wouldn't have had otherwise."

"It also expends capital that the Astarians cannot replace easily," added Sheppard. "If they have to spend capital on importing foodstuffs to prevent their population from starving, that is less capital available for the importation of slaves from around the world."

"Secondly," added Sheppard, "the Astarians themselves are not saints. They used widespread anti-crop agents against the resistance to them in South Veleria, and what's good for the goose is good for the gander."

"No more of these goddamn extreme measures," rumbled Stas. "If you do something like that again without consulting us, we will fuck you up."

Lonestar watched the exchange with interest. Some sort of lever we can use to splinter the CSR into the MESS' orbit regarding Shepistan?

"Uh, what other measures are you going to take, that aren't uh, extreme?" asked the MinMerc in a plaintive voice. Do I want to know what these people don't consider extreme? he thought.

"Before our colleague here upset our plans," began Stas, "One measure that was proposed was to cut off Astarian trade from the world via the mining of their ports and sinking of their merchantmen. Now that Astaria is suffering from a partial agricultural collapse, such a method would be seen as....inhumane. So we shall not do it. But it shall be held as a contigency."

"You know," added Steve. "We can form a multinational anti-slavery task force, and insist on searching all the ships that ply the waters between South Veleria and Astaria. The Cascadian Navy is in position with excellent ports leased from our Velerian allies as well as our own ports, to execute that approach."

"I can support such a task force," injected Sheppard, causing everyone to look at him. "With what?" replied Lonestar. "Your goddamn surface fleet blew itself up in harbor or was sunk during the One Week War."

After staring at Lonestar for a fraction of a second, Sheppard continued. "I realize that the Shepistani navy cannot support such an effort in the traditional sense; but if the Astarian navy..."

At the mention of that, snorts of laughter swept through the room. "...tries to intervene with force, why then, they shall suffer sudden and inexplicable magazine explosions, no doubt brought on by improper handling of munitions."

"Indeed," replied Stas as he raised a glass. "My lookouts no doubt will issue impeccable and utterly reliable reports stating that said Astarian ships exploded in the magazine areas."

"Sounds all good and dandy," replied Lonestar. "But how are you going to get the people to revolt against their own government? MESS intelligence reports that virtually all anti-government groups in Astaria and Veleria are small scale and incompetently led."

"We've handled that end, Mr Fairfax;" replied Stas. "May I introduce you to Colonel Hugo Shroomvez, formerly of the Astarian Paratroop Force?"

Everyone turned to watch as the man wearing the traditional red beret of the Paratroopers entered the room.



As the man entered, Steve smirked slightly.

"Mister Shroomvez here was one of the few die-hard abolitionists in the Astarian military, which is incredibly conservative and anti-revolutionary," continued Stas. "He was forced to retire after twenty years of service with the insultingly low rank of Colonel because of his views, and shortly after he retired, several attempts were made on his life. For his own safety, he fled to the Crimson Star Republic."

"Where no doubt, he was inculcated in the proper theories of international socialism and marxism?" questioned Lonestar.

"Indeed he was. He shall be the revolutionary vanguard of the ALF and establish a more just government in Veleria."

"Wait, how come you're all shit hot to help a goddamned commie march into power?" asked Lonestar, pointing at Sheppard and Garret in turn.

"Because, my dear Domino, us Shepistanis know how it is to be slaves to an overclass for hundreds of years before revolting and gaining our freedom..." began Sheppard before he was interrupted by Lonestar. "That's bullshit, and you know it. The Knights of the Dominion along with the Powhatan Confederacy were only brought over because of Shepistani attacks on the Colonists..."

"Shut the hell up you two," muttered Steve. "I may not like communism, but it's infinitely superior to the system that currently rules over Astaria."

"Uh, it's really been nice listening to you guys banter; but what the hell is the Final Contigency Option?" shouted the MinMerc; trying to reinterject himself into the debate.

"I shall let the General here answer that question," replied Steve, with a look of disgust on his face, showing how much he approved of the FCO.

Sheppard stood up with a new light in his eyes that was slightly disconcerting to everyone in the meeting.

"The FCO is the ultimate fall-back option if all of our efforts fail to bring about revolution and the abolition of slavery within Astaria. An ultimatum shall be issued to the government of Astaria; I believe it's Tab G in the folder on the table."

As both the MinMerc and Lonestar reached for the folder, Sheppard coughed.

"Sorry. Heads of State only. I think it's about time you left to arrange the contracts with the Shroomcats and Shroomhawks."

"Bastard, fucking BLEEDING BASTARDS OF WHORES!" shouted the MinMerc as he was escorted out of the room by a bodyguard.

Lonestar picked up the folder and began to read once the room was Secure.

The Shepistani Government Demands that the Astarian Government:

1.) Abolish All Slavery, Indentured Servitude, etc immediately and recompense all former slaves/servants with $250,000 Shroomanian Dollars.
2.) Sign the Treaty of Ustinov (see Tab H), thereby preventing slavery from ever regaining a hold in Astaria.

These demands are not negotiatable.

Failure to comply shall mean a State of War exists between Astaria and Shepistan.

"Treaty of Ustinov, eh?" muttered Lonestar as he flipped ahead.

Treaty of Ustinov

Be it resolved that:

1.) The Astarian Government be Dissolved.
2.) That all lands formerly controlled by the Astarian government be split up and ruled by interim governments under the oversight of the Crimson Star Republic, Cascadia, and Shepistan.

"No fucking redrawing of land borders," Lonestar said outloud. "That's one of the principles of the MESS....I think...or is Free Booze for all leaders at MESS meetings? I forget."

"Fine, we'll just rule it via a trumvirate."

"What about South Veleria?" asked Steve. "Would it be kept as the sovereign territory of whatever successor government we establish in Astaria after the interim oversight period by us, or does it go independent?"

"I honestly don't know. The FCO is kind of sketchy on the details. My staff always figured we'd work out the details after the event," replied Sheppard.

"Typical rock-chucker logic. So, what happens when the Astarians reject this? You just KNOW they will." asked Lonestar.

"Tabs J and K," replied Sheppard right away.

Army House, Shepistan
_____, ______ 20__

My countrymen, I come before you tonight to announce a grave couse of action.

"Recently, the rogue nation of Astaria, known throughout the world as a brutal slaveholding nation, declared it's intention to never abolish slavery and claimed that they would live up to their state motto;
'Freedom or Death', and that they would make whatever sacrifices that would be necessary to prevail in any conflict with Shepistan.

My fellow Shepistanis, at ____ hours Zulu, we are calling them on their motto.

We only expect them to die.

To the brave men and women of the Shepistani armed forces; who are about to embark upon the Great Crusade to wipe out the vile repugnance that is Astaria from our earth; Good Luck! And let us beseech the blessing of the Almighty Sphagetti Monster upon this great and noble undertaking!

"I think it's kinda cute how you have everything all laid out, and only need to fill out the dates and hour of attack. Very Shep-like." remarked Lonestar.

"Thank you."

Steve slammed down his tumbler, the noise sounding like a gunshot. "I would rather endure a decade long war to liberate Astaria, with the deaths of thousands of Cascadians on my conscience than to see genocide committed," he declared.

"Genocide, huh?" muttered Lonestar and he flipped to Tab K.

If it wasn't for Blitzschlag's heavy indoctrination of him in all aspects of warfare, extending to monstrosities against God, he would have vomited. But instead, he only thought Blitzschlag would love to see this, and reached up for his reading glasses; which he really didn't need, but contained a micro pinhole camera, and took a snapshot of the Shepistani Biological Attack plan on Astaria while pretending to adjust his glasses.

"Hum, Shroompox, Shroomthrax, Shroombola, Shroomburg Hemorrhagic Fever? You rock-chuckers don't screw around."

"No we don't," replied Sheppard.

"Which is why we must not fail," declared Stanislav with all the gravity he could muster. "Otherwise...."

Results
Rough Agreements on which course to take against Astaria
Blitzschlag gets an early christmas
Shroomanian Mercenaries get early christmas

[Setzer]

"I trust you've all been adequately fed and watered, so now let us get to business." Normally the reception would have gone on for a few more hours before the Conference proper started, but Setzer was more then a little concerned by the situation in Astaria. "You probably already know that the Astarian government recently passed several bills intending to abolish slavery. Despite this, its enemies continue to cite slavery as a cassus belli. I was content to ignore the situation as long as I was sure they simply wanted to destroy slavery, but the recent air attacks by Shepistan seems to indicate that they and several others are just using abolition as a smokescreen, giving them a convenient excuse to carve up Astaria like cake. The question is, can a diplomatic solution be reached, or will FUN be forced to take more drastic measures?"

[PeZook]

FUN conference, Sirnoth

"You probably already know that the Astarian government recently passed several bills intending to abolish slavery. Despite this, its enemies continue to cite slavery as a cassus belli. I was content to ignore the situation as long as I was sure they simply wanted to destroy slavery, but the recent air attacks by Shepistan seems to indicate that they and several others are just using abolition as a smokescreen, giving them a convenient excuse to carve up Astaria like cake. The question is, can a diplomatic solution be reached, or will FUN be forced to take more drastic measures?"

Mateusz Buczynski, PeZookian Foreign Minister, spoke up after hearing the Sovereign's question.

"PeZookia stands strongly opposed to any attempts at forceful regime change in Astaria. It is our opinion that such measures never work out, and more often than not result in broken governments which serve nobody's interests.", the Minister took a sip from his water glass

"Frankly, the current Regent is our best hope at reforms. Any regime change can only make the situation worse."

Unoficially, the Minister thought that taking a "hard stance" in favor of Astaria could reasily result in the FUN's own governments being toppled. But he wouldn't say it out loud with half the world watching.

[Setzer]

"The important thing is, can we prevent violence against Astaria without coming off as pro slavery?"

[PeZook]

"The important thing is, can we prevent violence against Astaria without coming off as pro slavery?"

"I believe so, yes, provided we take propaganda action now - so as to make our populations used to the idea."

[PeZook]

Secret Military Area 8

"Shepistani bioweapons present a grave threat: their current belligerence with regards to Astaria indicates a frightening willingness to jump straight to WMD use over relatively minor grievances.", general Stachurski, head of PeZookia's civil defence program was finishing his presentation. Around the large conference table, several high officers of the PeZookian military were gathered.

"Relatively minor? They're a bunch of slavocrats, for fuck's sake!"

"Their government has destroyed the institution utterly, however. Shepistani authorities rejected the measure - and we have some reason to suspect the recent bioweapon attacks on their agricultural system may have been organized by Shepistan. Fortunately, they were mostly ineffective."

"Do you think they will try something like this again?"

"It is a frightening possibility. Of course, Astaria isn't the reason for this meeting, merely an illustration of an underlying point."

"Yes...", the Minister Of Defence interjected, "...the December 2009 strategic assessment."

"Exactly. Shepistan has an active bioweapons program, and their agents include cocktails of very nasty diseases. If they are used, PeZookia has no way of retaliating...except for one. The Navy submitted a report about the Buzzkill missile, and how it can be modified to carry chemical warheads."

"So we can threaten their coastal cities, at least."

"Unless we go one step further."

Silence fell in the room. Everybody knew what general Stachurski meant, but nobody wanted to say this.

"Draw a study, at least.", the Minister finally ordered

Result: PeZookia will deploy chemical weapons on its SSGNs in order to threaten Shepistani coastal cities.

PeZookia is also (secretly) considering developing its own bioweapons to destroy Shepistani population in case the rock-chuckers release their WMDs.

[Siege]

The Shroomanian Sentinel

Whilst most of the continent’s attention seems to be focused on Astarian troubles or Byzantine up-arming, some of our more intrepid readers may have noticed that on the other side of the world our favorite ex-colony is preparing itself for elections. Although, elections? What’s this ado about shareholders? And why is their ‘President’ also called ‘CEO’?

To answer these and other questions, this week the Shroomanian Sentinel delves into the whacky world of…

San Dorado Politics

Citizen-Shareholders
Every citizen is a shareholder. That is to say, every citizen holds at least one share of San Doradan stock. At birth, a citizen must receive at least one share from either parent. If the parents have only one share each, then the child is awarded one share from the Reserves. Citizens can buy more shares on the SDSE, or be awarded many more shares over the course of their lives in bonuses and dividends. They are free to sell these shares to any other citizen or back to the corporation, as they please. They may not sell shares outside the corporation without special permission, which is never given.

Among other things, every share entitles that citizen to one vote in San Dorado’s many elections and referendums. Since it is obviously impractical for every citizen to vote on every issue, the citizens elect representatives to speak for them on the Board of Directors. This is done every four years.

Elections
San Dorado’s territories are divided up into 76 electoral districts. Each district covers a certain geological area. These areas can range in size from one city block, as is the case in some of San Dorado City’s most densely populated urban areas, to relatively vast expanses of land, like in the Kirkwood Mountains on the southern border. Regardless of its size or number of votes, each district sends one representative to the Board of Directors.

Once every four years on the fourth of July, AKA Democracy Day, all the citizens make their way to the great Stockhouses, where they present their shareholder’s certificates. These are tallied with records, and the citizens are given a voucher for as many votes as they have shares. They can then use these votes to elect the candidate of their choice. The votes are tallied by auditors from DIFEI, and the candidate who receives the highest number of votes in each electoral district is voted onto the Board of Directors.

Once on the Board of Directors, the representative has a vote in any legislative decision equal to that of the total of the votes in the electoral district that elected him or her. Of course, those who represent the rich and heavily populated regions such as San Dorado City command many more votes than those from the thinly populated regions between San Dorado’s three main cities. That is not to say that these Directors have no power. In any tightly found contest on the Board, every vote can count, and when tough decisions are in the balance, these small stockholders can win many concessions during the bargaining.

In theory, any citizen-shareholder can stand for election and thus, any San Doradan can become President. This is a major part of San Doradan mythology.

The President
Pnce the elections for the Board of Directors are over, the Presidential elections begin. This is a time of great maneuvering among the Directors as the various candidates threaten and cajole, promise and compromise as they seek the reward of the ultimate office.

The President is elected from the Board of Directors, by the Board of Directors, and has many wide-ranging executive powers relating to corporate finance and security. The most important power is being able to appoint the Directors to their Directorates. One of the most common ways of becoming President is by promising high office to those who support you.

Cracks and flaws
The most obvious flaw in San Doradan democracy is that there are far more shares than there are voters, and that individual citizens are free to sell all but one of their shares. (They are free to sell that last share too, but if they do, they cease to be citizens and become mere denizens – legal residents without a say in politics.) These shares can be bought p by other individuals. This means that there are electoral districts where up to 90% of the vote is controlled by a single individual or group of individuals.

There are plenty of examples of wealthy individuals electing themselves to the Board of Directors. In fact, most of the most influential Directors on the Board are such individuals. Conversely, there are still areas where the mass of citizens still control their own shares and which elect representatives to speak for them – but these areas tend to be of less importance.

The Corporate State and Megacorporations
Although it’s common knowledge that San Doradans generally hate communists, their own government at first glance looks not entirely unlike that of the CSR itself, in that it owns controlling shares in a veritable multitude of companies – or do the companies control it?

San Dorado has literally thousands of subsidiary corporations. These are corporations, registered on the San Dorado Stock Exchange, of which the corporate state owns a controlling interest: 51 or more percent of the shares. They are, for all intents and purposes, state-owned companies. Of course it is perfectly legal for San Dorado citizens to start their own business quite apart from the corporate state. San Dorado does not own these private businesses. They remain under the control of their founders unless the corporate state buys them out – which it usually will if the business grows large enough.

All these subsidiary corporations are controlled by the DIFEI sub-bureau known as the Trust. The Trust is basically a register of all San Dorado-controlled companies. It ensures that all the guidelines created by the General Directorates are passed on to the appropriate companies, and in theory, it sees that they are obeyed. This is only a theory, since there are far too many companies to be directly supervised. Often violations of the corporate guidelines only come to light when another subsidiary complains about unfair competition or when a citizen complains to the local Director about malpractice.

So how is this different from the CSR, where the government owns most of all business too? Where it gets fuzzy is that the CEO’s of the biggest state-controlled megacorporations – corporations such as Standard Oil and Universal Motors – are so rich and influential that they, with the help of their corporations, are in turn able to elect themselves onto the Board of Electors. In fact, the Directors occupying the five most important spots in the corporate hierarchy are also the CEOs of San Dorado’s biggest megacorporations: Director Daphne Sinclair is CEO of SinTEK, Director Iago Morgan is CEO of Morgan Finance International, Director Helena Skye is the brother of CEO Adrian Skye of Universal Motors, and finally President Sidney Hank is CEO of Standard Oil.

The only one missing from this list is Director Sam Ralson, who is the CEO of Ralson Concerns Ltd. Ralson Concerns is the only megacorporation of which the state does not own a majority but a minority of the shares: 49 percent versus the 51 percent owned by Sam Ralson, the founder of the corporation, himself.

All this means that the state runs the megacorporations, whilst the megacorporations run the state. And the richest CEOs have enough clout to buy their way to the Presidency…

[Coyote]

Daily Sun-Telegraph


MAJOR SUBWAY/SHELTER EXPANSIONS PLANNED



The Interior Ministry today announced a major expansion into the nation's underground network of subway shelters and tunnels. The announcement was mad ein a press release given by Interior Minister Viktor Krahn (Libertarian Party, Canceron).

"What we're looking at is a major expansion of the underground system," IM Krahn said earlier today, "We've seen usage of biological weapons in Astaria and talk of a nuclear test recently, and so this has sparked an interest in overhauling our Civil Defense network to handle potential problems."

Since new technology allows "bunker penetrating" warheads to threaten some tunnels closer to the surface --and since some potentially hostile nations have no qualms whatsoever about inflicting mass civilian casualties with weapons of mass destruction-- the new network of tunnels will be deeper underground than before.

"They will, of course, be sealed, fed filtered air, and draw off of underground water sources," Interior Minister Krahn said, "Power will be geothermal, and full hospitals equipped specifically to deal with biological, chemical, nuclear and radiological threats will be equipped there. And, of course, this network will serve as a subway network as well for long-range, high-speed express travel from one end of Canissia to another."

The obvious strategic benefits of a high-speed rail link that is underground appeals to military planners, who are once again left out of the budget for major procurements, except for force maintenence and training.

"This will be a subway for not just high-speed passenger movement," said General Marcus Sams of the Royal Canissian Air Force, "but for high-speed troop movement in the event of emergency, medical evacuation from strike zones, and will also have an extensive network of freight trains that run underground to provide uninterrupted flow of materiel."

The cost will be high, and at the moment is classified and under review. But easing the initial costs will be the usage of the Chunnel Digger, the expensive machine once used to dig the Channel Tunnel linking Shroomania and Canissia.

"We're getting a good return on this machine, seeing as how we only thought it would be used one time, for the Chunnel," said Minister Krahn, "But now we have some job security for it, and our geologists."