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Marina "Ten Assassination Attempts Per Week" O'Leary

She goes boating, there's a MESS destroyer trying to kill her. She goes hiking, there are special forces units from ten different countries hunting her. She tries to cook dinner, she checks the pots for bombs.

Post-nuclear slapstick!

Sure you want to do that? Way I imagine it, there's an unofficial pact between the nations of the world to leave her alone -- it's the crazies who try to attack her, as well as a surprisingly large number of ex-special forces personnel who were "discharged".

As for why there's a pact -- do you really want to put her on trial? She was not the one who launched the nuclear war -- only the one who carried out the last orders from the Shepnukistani civilian command structure to the best of her ability -- remember that the FUN's leadership would then face credibility problems in any such trial, due to the use of cobalt bombs.

Anyway, I'll be writing in part 2 of the interview, the definitive history of the war.

PeZook wrote:Marina "Ten Assassination Attempts Per Week" O'Leary

She goes boating, there's a MESS destroyer trying to kill her. She goes hiking, there are special forces units from ten different countries hunting her. She tries to cook dinner, she checks the pots for bombs.

Post-nuclear slapstick!

Pfft. My Crusaders are armed with shotguns and rifles and RPGs. If need be, they'd go after with my prototype 120rpm Metalstorm weapons just to be doubly sure she's dead.

MKSheppard wrote:Sure you want to do that? Way I imagine it, there's an unofficial pact between the nations of the world to leave her alone -- it's the crazies who try to attack her, as well as a surprisingly large number of ex-special forces personnel who were "discharged".

As for why there's a pact -- do you really want to put her on trial? She was not the one who launched the nuclear war -- only the one who carried out the last orders from the Shepnukistani civilian command structure to the best of her ability -- remember that the FUN's leadership would then face credibility problems in any such trial, due to the use of cobalt bombs.

Anyway, I'll be writing in part 2 of the interview, the definitive history of the war.

FUN's leadership? There isn't much left of FUN's leadership, unless you count that loon for a monkey in Shroomania as a leader.

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:FUN's leadership? There isn't much left of FUN's leadership, unless you count that loon for a monkey in Shroomania as a leader.

*cough* Comrade Stas and company *cough*

MKSheppard wrote:

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:FUN's leadership? There isn't much left of FUN's leadership, unless you count that loon for a monkey in Shroomania as a leader.

*cough* Comrade Stas and company *cough*

Comrade Stas currently resides in a cyrogenic solution, in a Mausoleum.

MKSheppard wrote:Sure you want to do that? Way I imagine it, there's an unofficial pact between the nations of the world to leave her alone -- it's the crazies who try to attack her, as well as a surprisingly large number of ex-special forces personnel who were "discharged".

I don't actually want to go after her (Meh, she's gonna be dead soon enough, anyway), but I'm sure that plenty of people would.

And, well...nobody's gonna stop them. I mean, there's plenty of AK rifles in the world, right? And you can easily buy night-vision goggles and RPGs and light mortars and rent an airplane and parachute down into Saddamistan at night to shell her home with thermobaric rounds. Who can control such people?

And that death letter you found with one of them is a fake you planted. That's our story and we're sticking to it.

PeZook wrote:That's our story and we're sticking to it.

Exactly.

Hey, is an aging John Shroombo still alive, ala Old Snake?

MKSheppard wrote:

PeZook wrote:That's our story and we're sticking to it.

Exactly.

Hey, is an aging John Shroombo still alive, ala Old Snake?

Erm... last he was seen, he was on Zablania, which you.. incidentally irradiated?

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:Erm... last he was seen, he was on Zablania, which you.. incidentally irradiated?

He doesn't live on it. He could have retreated to somewhere else; and comes out of aging retirement to find his father, BIG SHROOM!

MKSheppard wrote:

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:Erm... last he was seen, he was on Zablania, which you.. incidentally irradiated?

He doesn't live on it. He could have retreated to somewhere else; and comes out of aging retirement to find his father, BIG SHROOM!

Well, there are only so many places for him to have fled to... especially with the Cobalt dust flying around.

MKSheppard wrote: He doesn't live on it. He could have retreated to somewhere else; and comes out of aging retirement to find his father, BIG SHROOM!

Shroom 777th: No, John! I am your father!

Shroombo: NOOOOOOO!!!

You know, cloning experiments would explain why he's named Shroom 777th

Come to think of it, Snake II should have grown by now. Ought to be 40 or so. A few of them. Mixed with Varangian Guard training regiment, he'd be one tough soldier.

PeZook wrote:You know, cloning experiments would explain why he's named Shroom 777th

We have to wrap up that plot point.

MKSheppard wrote:

PeZook wrote:You know, cloning experiments would explain why he's named Shroom 777th

We have to wrap up that plot point.

How about Snake II vs Shroombo?

There's also still SOLID SNAAAAAAAIL!

Goddamn.

You know what, I think we could've ended with PeZook's post. It WAS closure. They're coming to get Shroom back to his senses. The AIs know they're gonna get deactivated, but can't do anything. Shroom is told that he has guests.

Fin.

That's really all there is. A slightly ambiguous but definite ending. No need to ruin it by explaining how exactly this-and-this happens, and how Shroomy makes a long-winded speech to the world or something. Eh.

I say we finish that plot point and have one of the Shrooms strangle Marina. Maybe Shroom the 777th himself.

Donuts.

Shroom Man 777 wrote:There's also still SOLID SNAAAAAAAIL!

Goddamn.

You know what, I think we could've ended with PeZook's post. It WAS closure. They're coming to get Shroom back to his senses. The AIs know they're gonna get deactivated, but can't do anything. Shroom is told that he has guests.

Fin.

That's really all there is. A slightly ambiguous but definite ending. No need to ruin it by explaining how exactly this-and-this happens, and how Shroomy makes a long-winded speech to the world or something. Eh.

I say we finish that plot point and have one of the Shrooms strangle Marina. Maybe Shroom the 777th himself.

Donuts.

There are plenty of Snakes around. I impregnated a number of females with his sperm.

And to think that he was just some goon who got gunned down in a log cabin...

Shroom Man 777 wrote:And to think that he was just some goon who got gunned down in a log cabin...

It's an interesting way of ensuring the survival of your genes: Have a cool nickname. He's one of the most reproductively succesful men ever thanks to the fact he's had the same nickname as a videogame character

I've been thinking about part 2; which will have some flashbacks to the war; etc, and I think I've got a brilliant image for the Wilkonian IADS control center:

Basically, some senator or whoever was visiting the place when the war broke out, and I use him as a sort of "stand in" to explain how the thing works.

"How can you see those Nukistani F-22s?"

"Sir, F-22s may have the radar cross section of a sparrow; but Sparrows don't move at Mach 2 and that high."

"Oh."

"They're just so damn hard to keep track of though; they flicker on and off our screens like ghosts..."

MKSheppard wrote:

Coyote wrote:Really, Shep, face it-- you had a wargasm all over Canissia because we were close, not because we were a threat.

During the New Years' Nuclear Scare, you shelled my coastline with superguns, and also launched a nuclear attack against Shepnukistan.

It wasn't nuclear, I mentioned that several times. I shelled hinterland primarily as a PSYOP strategy against your populace. I never launched nukes at you or the Saddamis during that.

It's nothing personal, really. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, with the wrong crowd.

I know, in a way it doesn't bother me because obviously Canissia's location does make it a threat in a roundabout way; allies can launch from our territory and I can also stage a conventional invasion force with ease, so I'm not overly wrapped around the axle about it.

In the next game, I suggest you ask that your nation be placed very far away from Shepistan, and that you eschew great power alliances.

Well, I'll hope to be far away, but I'll do my own foreign policy, heh!

As a bit of a reminder, the Wiki Page needs a big update.

Zor

Coyote wrote:It wasn't nuclear, I mentioned that several times. I shelled hinterland primarily as a PSYOP strategy against your populace. I never launched nukes at you or the Saddamis during that.

Despite the employment of "special" TLAMs?

MKSheppard wrote: Despite the employment of "special" TLAMs?

"Special" as in "made for a special purpose". In this case, IIRC, they were lacking a warhead.

This is the final piece of evidence ; You're such a nukeophile that you perceive everything through the filter of nuclear warfare

I know that's a joke, but "special weapons" almost invariably refer to nuclear ones.