At the Frequesquan Neutrality Conference
Exarch Decius wrote:Surely you can do better? We have upped our spending to about 6-8%, spending billions on our air defence systems, and air defence aircraft. We are building new warships to supplement our existing stock of warships. Perhaps we could interest you in our nuclear destroyers, which feature hypersonic missiles, or an enlarged Vertical Launch System.
"Unfortunately, there's a firm hard cap set by those responsible for the budget in regards to military spending. Unlike the more ordered state of your government, where your Emperor is firmly on top and has the final say on military matters, for the Shroomanian government to function properly, some concessions and compromises have to be made, even by our Prime Minister.
"I'm sure you're familiar with the inner workings of our Parliament, maybe you've even caught one of the sessions live on
pay per view TV," joked Melchett, referring to the oft-televised battle royales involving Shroomanian MPs. "However, the Mushroom Military
is developing new defense systems. We are looking to doubling our strategic bomber force, to create a deterrent, and likewise when the fleet of
Yer Mom-class guided missile submarines are completed, it will add another layer of formidability to our forces.
"We have been working on hypersonic missiles with PeZookia and... perhaps a naval upgrade program, in collaboration with Byzantium, may be in order?" Melchett offered with a smile. "However, I'm not in the MushMil, so I will have to pass on what we've discussed to my associates.
That will be excellent. Perhaps massive joint exercises are indeed in order.
"Perhaps. But I'd be wary of
really massive joint exercises. Considering who is just a skip across the pond away from us, such a move may further intimidate and alienate them and force them into a position we may not want them to assume," Melchett replied, referring to Imperial Japanistan - which he was quite certain Exarch Decius would get. "Then again, this may be what we want. It will depend on how we carry it out. Massive joint exercises would require finesse and subtlety if one wants to send a message of strength without having to unnecessarily intimidate certain parties.
That is indeed interesting. Byzantium has been building more diesel and nuclear submarines, with the express interest in guarding our seas more vigilantly. We are building some new frigates that feature ultra sensitive sonar.
In fact, while we are on that topic, I have a proposal, I would like to request that we send ships under the Byzantine Salvaging Inc. to send salvage ships to the area in which I hear a Shroomanian supertanker sank. We are both heavily reliant on sea trade, and it will do us well to discover the cause of the sinking, and obtain evidence of it.
"It'll be difficult. The precise location of the
Shroom Viking is unknown. If only FASTA had launched that proposed 'Global Positioning System' of theirs..."
Melchett pondered for a few seconds, before devising a cunning plan.
"Exarch Decius, I have a cunning plan. Why don't we have both our navies, and Byzantine Salvaging, work together to find the
Shroom Viking while - at the same time - having a not-so-massive joint exercise under the cover of 'training in search and recovery operations'?"
Stroking his beard, the Exarch replied, "From Byzantium's point of view, I do not see the Emperor objecting to your observer status. However, SNC rules through consensus, and Comrade Stas of the CSR often... has a last word on relations with Shroomania.
Yes, you can count on our support, though it will be put to a vote."
"Ah, yes, General Secretary Stanislav. I hope that replying to letters sent by Shroomanian children will have warmed his heart and endeared him to my nation somewhat," Melchett said. "If Comrade Stas approves granting Shroomania observer status in the SNC, it would be a breakthrough in Crimson-Shroomanian relationships. We've been making progress in trying to achieve just that sort of thing, and it would be great if Byzantium could help in that.
"My friend, thank you, this conversation has been a most productive one for both our nations. If you'll excuse me, I have some matters to attend to, pertaining to another important international incident involving Shepistan and the Old Dominion," Melchett excused himself graciously, and Exarch Decius allowed him to do so. Before he left, though, Melchett had one last thing to say:
"By the way, I heard that you'll be seeing the San Doradoan delegate next? Please be nice, the Prime Minister is close friends with President Hank."
[OOC: Now that we've established stuff, we can scheme more privately Fingolfin!]
From: The Ministry of Shroomanian Homeland Affairs in Foreign Territories (SHAFT)
To: The Governments of the Old Dominion and the Islamic Republic of Shepistan
The cessation of hostilities between Shepistan and the Old Dominion is good news for those of us in the Sovereignty of Shroomania. However, though the war has ended, we are fully aware of the long and arduous process of recovery both your nations face in the wake of so much mutual destruction.
Roads and bridges have been bombed, factories laid to ruin, hospitals and orphanages burnt to the ground, dams busted, places of business and governance destroyed, and countless homes demolished. The material losses will be difficult to calculate, and even more so for the loss in human life.
Thus, in this time of peace, the economic and infrastructural reconstruction of both Shepistan and the Old Dominion is a pressing concern for those of us in Shroomania who wish for the speedy recovery of both of your nations and for the stabilization of the region.
The SHAFT would like to offer the services of Shroomanian companies, such as the MacMillan Megacorporation and the SchromKorp, in working for your governments in rebuilding your nation.
The Shroombender Corporation, Mushroom Meds, Funga Pharma, and other companies have already worked with your governments during the war to provide quality medical products to your wounded and injured, and have won contracts to continue doing so in the immediate post-war period.
Regards,
Melchett McMeistervater
Minister of SHAFT