Archinist's Last Stand

Only now, at the end, do you understand.

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Archinist
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Archinist's Last Stand

Postby Archinist » 2016-12-04 08:53pm

A knife man hunts down a man equipped with a dodgey car battery-welding setup that he carries around on him. He has 20 high amperage starting truck batteries strapped to his backpack and carries some giant welding ropes that he slaps together to create a massive spark. He must defend himself against a deadly knife man who hates him for accidentally burning down the neighborhood when testing his batteries and killing all his family and friends.

The battery welder man also has 4 car hunting spotlights mounted ontop of his shoulders and head, powered by an extra 6 smaller lion batteries. His back is also extremely strong. A GPS map on a screen is also draped around his shoulders and comes down in front of him, along with a thermal imaging camera with a range of 50 meters.

An electric man is also burrowed inside a normal house. But it is no normal house, there are live wires sticking out everywhere, huge baths of random salty water, and finally the electric man! The electric man holds a massive stab proof, bulletproof cable, flameproof that comes from the ceiling on a moving cable pulley that has access to all of the house and 100 meters beyond it.

The cable supplies enough electricity to move several trains all at once, and can provide this power forever. An electric fence also surrounds the property, although it is only 5 feet tall. The knife hates the electric man because he once hired him to fix a lampshade, but he overcharged him and weeks later the lampshade electrocuted his dog to the death.

The battery welder hates the electric man because he once paid him to wire all his batteries up to his house, but the electric man instead messed it all up and caused all the batteries to explode and catch fire, torching his house and later the entire neighborhood.

Who wins, if anyone?

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Re: Knife Man VS Welding Battery Man VS Electric Man

Postby muse » 2016-12-04 09:20pm

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ø¤ º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø
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Re: Knife Man VS Welding Battery Man VS Electric Man

Postby General Zod » 2016-12-04 10:46pm

Rocks fall, everybody dies! The end!
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Re: Knife Man VS Welding Battery Man VS Electric Man

Postby General Zod » 2016-12-04 10:48pm

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"It's you Americans. There's something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we'd be romping around naked on the stage here."

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Ziggy Stardust
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Re: Knife Man VS Welding Battery Man VS Electric Man

Postby Ziggy Stardust » 2016-12-04 11:29pm

If nothing else, I give Archinist credit for being one of the most enthusiastically bizarre trolls I've ever come across.

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Re: Knife Man VS Welding Battery Man VS Electric Man

Postby Broomstick » 2016-12-04 11:33pm

Archinist wrote:A knife man hunts down a man equipped with a dodgey car battery-welding setup that he carries around on him. He has 20 high amperage starting truck batteries strapped to his backpack---

Once again, I start reading an Archinist RAR! and come to a screeching halt at a certain point, unable to continue.

Do you have ANY fucking clue how much a car battery weighs?!?

Well, obviously not. Here's a hint: lead is a major component of car batteries. They are heavy as fuck.

Around 40 pounds, fuckwit, or about 18 kilos. And you suggest someone is carrying 20 of the fuckers in a backpack? (Clearly, you have no clue about the volume of space they occupy, either). That's about 360 kilos. Even if someone could physically lift that, putting it in a backpack would result in them falling backwards and winding up flailing around like an inverted turtle, only possibly more helpless.

Did not bother reading further.
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Re: Knife Man VS Welding Battery Man VS Electric Man

Postby Archinist » 2016-12-05 12:09am

Broomstick wrote:
Archinist wrote:A knife man hunts down a man equipped with a dodgey car battery-welding setup that he carries around on him. He has 20 high amperage starting truck batteries strapped to his backpack---

Once again, I start reading an Archinist RAR! and come to a screeching halt at a certain point, unable to continue.

Do you have ANY fucking clue how much a car battery weighs?!?

Well, obviously not. Here's a hint: lead is a major component of car batteries. They are heavy as fuck.

Around 40 pounds, fuckwit, or about 18 kilos. And you suggest someone is carrying 20 of the fuckers in a backpack? (Clearly, you have no clue about the volume of space they occupy, either). That's about 360 kilos. Even if someone could physically lift that, putting it in a backpack would result in them falling backwards and winding up flailing around like an inverted turtle, only possibly more helpless.

Did not bother reading further.


Well according to Google, a marine can carry around 130 lbs, so it's not that bad....

..and they could be lithium batteries, making them lighter...

..but if you kept reading, you would have seen the part where I said he had an extremely strong back...by which I actually mean he can magically carry the batteries by act of Qu. That is all.

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Re: Knife Man VS Welding Battery Man VS Electric Man

Postby aerius » 2016-12-05 12:20am

Were you always this dumb or have you been drinking Drano?
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Re: Knife Man VS Welding Battery Man VS Electric Man

Postby FaxModem1 » 2016-12-05 12:32am

Archinist wrote:
Broomstick wrote:
Archinist wrote:A knife man hunts down a man equipped with a dodgey car battery-welding setup that he carries around on him. He has 20 high amperage starting truck batteries strapped to his backpack---

Once again, I start reading an Archinist RAR! and come to a screeching halt at a certain point, unable to continue.

Do you have ANY fucking clue how much a car battery weighs?!?

Well, obviously not. Here's a hint: lead is a major component of car batteries. They are heavy as fuck.

Around 40 pounds, fuckwit, or about 18 kilos. And you suggest someone is carrying 20 of the fuckers in a backpack? (Clearly, you have no clue about the volume of space they occupy, either). That's about 360 kilos. Even if someone could physically lift that, putting it in a backpack would result in them falling backwards and winding up flailing around like an inverted turtle, only possibly more helpless.

Did not bother reading further.


Well according to Google, a marine can carry around 130 lbs, so it's not that bad....

..and they could be lithium batteries, making them lighter...

..but if you kept reading, you would have seen the part where I said he had an extremely strong back...by which I actually mean he can magically carry the batteries by act of Qu. That is all.


Then he's not a man, is he? We know and care about his limits about as much as we do about these guys:

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Creatures created by Q for one of his games, and just like the crew of the Enterprise, we don't want to play.
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Re: Knife Man VS Welding Battery Man VS Electric Man

Postby General Zod » 2016-12-05 01:22am

All it takes is a man with two hands to have a fighting chance.

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"It's you Americans. There's something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we'd be romping around naked on the stage here."

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Re: Knife Man VS Welding Battery Man VS Electric Man

Postby LadyTevar » 2016-12-05 01:34am

He Was Warned. Now, he pays the price for his stupidity. BANNED. PERMANENTLY.
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