Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Only now, at the end, do you understand.

Moderator: Moderators

What should we do with him who is about to be banned?

Ban him
22
24%
Flush him
0
No votes
Nuke him
7
8%
Kill it with fire
14
15%
Sentence him to be Shroom's loveslave for all eternity
45
48%
I don't care how, who does it or what it takes, just get rid of him
4
4%
I am a sociopathic bigoted loser and I want to stay around so that I can get reamed some more by people whose level of intelligence I will never reach (Chocolate Kiwii option)
1
1%
 
Total votes: 93

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The Spartan
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by The Spartan »

Can I change my vote to, "Ban the shit out of him"?
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Formless
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Formless »

I say, when in doubt, Kill It With Fire. There is always room for doubt. ;^)
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Chocolate Kiwii »

Starglider wrote:
Chocolate Kiwii wrote:God, your like the dozen fat girls I have lent pencils to, who decided that that would be the indicator that I would stick my dick in their wrinkly pig-meat.
Ah, that gives me a great mental image, of how desperately you wish that even one of 'those fat girls' would make such an offer. No one except an Angry Young Virgin talks like that.
Right, because while I can't be clairvoyant you most certainly are.
Awwww...it's so cute. It doesn't want to go down in a glorious ball of fire, but instead sputter like a wet match stick. I know you feel the need to describe the opposition's career, sexual life and the rest as some peacock preening his feathers, but as they say try harder.
I have no such compulsion. I don't give a shit whats going on in you're life. All I am saying is that people who don't understand the relevance of GPA are generally Liberal Arts Students, and Unappreciated Geniuses. They all generally have the same delusion that they are going to be the next Steve Giles, or Bill Gates. Their talent is usually just mediocre, and they are setting themselves up for a great deal of disappointment once they realize the world outside the halls of their sheltered upbringing and academia does not give three-shits about mediocrity, or their potential value.
The Spartan wrote:Can I change my vote to, "Ban the shit out of him"?
I can appreciate that.

I feel like I owe the readers of this thread an apology. It was inconsiderate of me to jump in and ruin the fun of troll-bashing, and even more inappropriate to make this thread about me. It is clearly about this community, and the forum-goers who are concerned that the dialogue and interest of this place might be damaged by my presence. Though I can't quite see it, I can at least appreciate it.

It was ridiculous of me to channel my tantrum on the "Responsibility of Wealthy & Power" topic into personal insults, and hysterical depredations on the civilization of other board-members. Shroom Man 777, I apologize. Not just for implying that your culture was without value, or worthy of consideration. But also because I thought it appropriate to dredge up a grossly horrifying instance in your countries history, and parade it about as if it were some kind of weapon.

I also am deeply sorry for anyone else who may have read that thread, and assumed me sincere in committing atrocities on other human beings whose only desire is to live, and maybe eek out some small fortune of prosperity in this brutal world of ours. Even mockingly, I should not have done that, and should have been more considerate of people who know the ease with which people will ravage and butcher one another.

I feel a great deal of remorse, and shame for leaping to personal insults towards many of you when I was only challenged with delicate quips, and decidedly passive barrages of counters (Which I my behavior was certainly deserved of.)

Finally, I am contrite in my stealing of the precious time of moderators and administration whose sole duty is to guarantee the estimable and impressing dialogue engaged on in this forum.

I appreciate that I was not banned outright when I confided to Lagmonster my insincerity, and that I was in fact a troll.

I understand that my behavior was unacceptable, and in hindsight unworthy of my own abilities. I have shamed myself, and know that I am forever tarnished in the eyes of some parishioners. However, if given the opportunity I believe that I can be a more productive member of this forum, and share valueable insight and forethought to the various discussions here.
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Superman »

Starglider wrote:Ah, that gives me a great mental image, of how desperately you wish that even one of 'those fat girls' would make such an offer. No one except an Angry Young Virgin talks like that.
Oh come on... You don't think his mere presence causes the women around him immediately drop to their knees? It's not unheard of, you know. Ever hear of Elvis? Or the Fonz? You think adding kiwi to that list is really all that much of a stretch?

I'm actually starting to enjoy how he randomly drops these little "facts" about himself (having the world's best gpa, how he's the Elvis of fat chicks, etc.) throughout the course of unrelated discussions. I almost want to try it... except I really don't want to be a lying douchebag that everyone would laugh at. :D
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Ghost Rider »

Awwww...it's so cute. It doesn't want to go down in a glorious ball of fire, but instead sputter like a wet match stick. I know you feel the need to describe the opposition's career, sexual life and the rest as some peacock preening his feathers, but as they say try harder.
I have no such compulsion. I don't give a shit whats going on in you're life. All I am saying is that people who don't understand the relevance of GPA are generally Liberal Arts Students, and Unappreciated Geniuses. They all generally have the same delusion that they are going to be the next Steve Giles, or Bill Gates. Their talent is usually just mediocre, and they are setting themselves up for a great deal of disappointment once they realize the world outside the halls of their sheltered upbringing and academia does not give three-shits about mediocrity, or their potential value.
I enjoy the particular armchair analysis. Really, this one has to be a freshman at a community college at best? Perhaps some idiot at a high level advanced course in a high school somewhere? But I digress, the idiot's jab with the liberal arts program is funny one, because he wants to demonstrate soon that he's in some hard science course. Continue your jabbering, it's at least making this making it a fun topic in this particular forum.

And mister 3.4 GPA? The word *Whats* is not what you are looking for. What's or what is would be the proper usage!
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Superman »

Awwww...it's so cute. It doesn't want to go down in a glorious ball of fire, but instead sputter like a wet match stick. I know you feel the need to describe the opposition's career, sexual life and the rest as some peacock preening his feathers, but as they say try harder.
I have no such compulsion.
LOLOL

I'm almost tempted to post every case of him doing it from this thread alone. Some of them are pretty funny, especially how he tries to be subtle about it.

And btw, does this sound familiar at all? Of course I'm not claiming to be qualified to diagnose anyone of anything. I just find it to be amusing. :)
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, need for admiration, extreme self-involvement, and lack of empathy for others. Individuals with this disorder are usually arrogantly self-assured and confident. They expect to be noticed as superior.
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Formless
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Formless »

Really, this one has to be a freshman at a community college at best?
I wasn't this stupid when I joined the board and this just about describes me now (well, except I'm a sophomore). Shoot a little younger. Freshmen at a highschool dropout, I'm betting.
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Chocolate Kiwii »

I'm actually starting to enjoy how he randomly drops these little "facts" about himself (having the world's best gpa, how he's the Elvis of fat chicks, etc.) throughout the course of unrelated discussions. I almost want to try it... except I really don't want to be a lying douchebag that everyone would laugh at. :D
I was unaware that 3.4 was in the "Best" bracket of GPA.
What can I say, obese women are a great deal like obese men. Lustful for what they won't get.
As far as lying is concerned, I know the truth about me and so do the people important in my life.
I enjoy the particular armchair analysis.
That is not armchair analysis. That is a consistency I have experienced.
Really, this one has to be a freshman at a community college at best?
Jr.
But I digress, the idiot's jab with the liberal arts program is funny one, because he wants to demonstrate soon that he's in some hard science course.
I do not have to be in a hard science to not be a slack-ass. There are a great many people who actually take liberal arts because they genuinely wish to enrich themselves, and strive to have a wide plethora of knowledge in their educational background. However there are also a large number of students who don't actually care about their education and just slide into the major with which they can get away with the least amount of work but still have a diploma after their four year snooze. Unfortunately it is by it's vague and fluid nature easier for students to fake their way through liberal studies, and soft sciences with last minute cramming, the use of obfuscation through vagueness and wishy-washy completion of assignments, parroting, and collaboration, than it is to do so in studies which require you to apply and understand everything you learn to advance up the hierarchy and towards the goal.

As far as my own background, the only persons it is of relevance to is my employers, as well as my own satisfaction.
Continue your jabbering, it's at least making this making it a fun topic in this particular forum.
I'm so glad I could brighten you're day.
And mister 3.4 GPA? The word *Whats* is not what you are looking for. What's or what is would be the proper usage!
Thank you for pointing that out. I should continue to work to polish my grammar. While we are on the subject, I am sure you know it is improper to begin a sentence with "And". Working together, I am sure we will both blossom into the best writers we can be.
I'm almost tempted to post every case of him doing it from this thread alone. Some of them are pretty funny, especially how he tries to be subtle about it.
Please do.
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Wyrm »

Voted.

Oh wait. This ain't the Senate. Drat.

Thing is, Kiwii, you have severely misread the Zeitgeist of the board. This is not a board that allows any kind of bullshit to go unanswered, no matter how trivial the matter (I've seen one thread crisping someone who claimed there was only one true way to cook rice, for fuck's sake), and people who maintain those positions despite a murder of crows descending and pecking those positions to death are similarly pecked to death. Your apologies two posts up do not impress me, as you revert to the same smarmy behavior in your very next post.

I voted for you to be Shroomy's love slave, because it amuses me.

(And do not PM me. Any PM by you to me will be immediately posted to this thread. You have no expectation of privacy with me. You have been warned.)
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Superman »

Chocolate Kiwii wrote:I was unaware that 3.4 was in the "Best" bracket of GPA.
It's not the best, but it might as well be from the context in which you brought it up.
It would be a impressive achievement if I were capable of such an act. But I'm not. I can do other neat things though. Like maintain 3.4GPA, play Saxophone, Guitar, and Harmonica, I'm a pretty good cook, I'm learning to draw, I'm studying for a degree in Medical Technology after which I will continue onto Biomedical Engineering, I have friends and family that love me, I volunteer, people feel I'm worthy of their confidence, I maintain a pleasant relationship with most of my X's, I can jump rope for an hour straight, I am an outspoken socialist and anti-theist, I accept my failures and move on, I work to correct my flaws, I eat healthy (No soda Since Last New Years!) and have a consistent and reasonable sleep schedule, and I have been called a generous and passionate lover. Oh! And I'm civicly consciences and involved.
Do you must masturbate in front of a mirror every night? Holy crap you are fucked up. lol

Not that this matters, because you're really just attention whoring and acting out, but even if everything you wrote there were 100% true (heh), you'd still be just as much of a douche. It's not what you say you do, or have acheived, or whatever, it's that you say it at all. Like you're consumed with constantly having to remind everyone of how great, smart, and desired you think you are. It almost makes me think of those fundie preachers that are consumed with crusading against gay folks, like it's all just a big way to try and convince everyone "I'm not really gay," but, surprise, they eventually get caught with a male hooker...
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Havok »

Chocolate Kiwii wrote:I feel like I owe the readers of this thread an apology. It was inconsiderate of me to jump in and ruin the fun of troll-bashing, and even more inappropriate to make this thread about me. It is clearly about this community, and the forum-goers who are concerned that the dialogue and interest of this place might be damaged by my presence. Though I can't quite see it, I can at least appreciate it.

It was ridiculous of me to channel my tantrum on the "Responsibility of Wealthy & Power" topic into personal insults, and hysterical depredations on the civilization of other board-members. Shroom Man 777, I apologize. Not just for implying that your culture was without value, or worthy of consideration. But also because I thought it appropriate to dredge up a grossly horrifying instance in your countries history, and parade it about as if it were some kind of weapon.

I also am deeply sorry for anyone else who may have read that thread, and assumed me sincere in committing atrocities on other human beings whose only desire is to live, and maybe eek out some small fortune of prosperity in this brutal world of ours. Even mockingly, I should not have done that, and should have been more considerate of people who know the ease with which people will ravage and butcher one another.

I feel a great deal of remorse, and shame for leaping to personal insults towards many of you when I was only challenged with delicate quips, and decidedly passive barrages of counters (Which I my behavior was certainly deserved of.)

Finally, I am contrite in my stealing of the precious time of moderators and administration whose sole duty is to guarantee the estimable and impressing dialogue engaged on in this forum.

I appreciate that I was not banned outright when I confided to Lagmonster my insincerity, and that I was in fact a troll.

I understand that my behavior was unacceptable, and in hindsight unworthy of my own abilities. I have shamed myself, and know that I am forever tarnished in the eyes of some parishioners. However, if given the opportunity I believe that I can be a more productive member of this forum, and share valueable insight and forethought to the various discussions here.
If this is sincere, and you can somehow manage to shut the fuck up and stop responding (hint hint) maybe the staff will see fit to only temp ban you. There is no rule against being stubborn and thickheaded, as long as you eventually get it.
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Ghost Rider »

The best part of Havok's statement is the honesty and that it was a last try. If you had shut up CK, and let it be? A title really...maybe a temp banning since you just could not stop. Now? Who cares. You've shown yourself as a two faced fucktard who just couldn't let another jab through.
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Sorry for the late hit, but I worked the past two days. I vote 'nuke his ass' since it's a suitably extreme variant of 'Kill it with Fire' to suffice in this case.
Superman wrote:Do you must masturbate in front of a mirror every night? Holy crap you are fucked up. lol
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Superman »

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote: I demand a retraction at once!
Shit, sorry man! Done and done. He's definitely no mirror masturbator. And I know how I would feel if someone said kiwi pees in the sink. Clearly he does none of these. :D
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Chocolate Kiwii »

Thing is, Kiwii, you have severely misread the Zeitgeist of the board. This is not a board that allows any kind of bullshit to go unanswered, no matter how trivial the matter (I've seen one thread crisping someone who claimed there was only one true way to cook rice, for fuck's sake), and people who maintain those positions despite a murder of crows descending and pecking those positions to death are similarly pecked to death. Your apologies two posts up do not impress me, as you revert to the same smarmy behavior in your very next post.
Well there is obviously only one proper way to cook rice.

Why exactly would I PM you? I don't think you have made any accusation for me to address privately, and I don't remember having any previous interaction with you. But if you are just saying that to tickle your fancies, whatever.
Superman wrote:
Chocolate Kiwii wrote:I was unaware that 3.4 was in the "Best" bracket of GPA.
It's not the best, but it might as well be from the context in which you brought it up.
It would be a impressive achievement if I were capable of such an act. But I'm not. I can do other neat things though. Like maintain 3.4GPA, play Saxophone, Guitar, and Harmonica, I'm a pretty good cook, I'm learning to draw, I'm studying for a degree in Medical Technology after which I will continue onto Biomedical Engineering, I have friends and family that love me, I volunteer, people feel I'm worthy of their confidence, I maintain a pleasant relationship with most of my X's, I can jump rope for an hour straight, I am an outspoken socialist and anti-theist, I accept my failures and move on, I work to correct my flaws, I eat healthy (No soda Since Last New Years!) and have a consistent and reasonable sleep schedule, and I have been called a generous and passionate lover. Oh! And I'm civicly consciences and involved.
Do you must masturbate in front of a mirror every night? Holy crap you are fucked up. lol

Not that this matters, because you're really just attention whoring and acting out, but even if everything you wrote there were 100% true (heh), you'd still be just as much of a douche. It's not what you say you do, or have acheived, or whatever, it's that you say it at all. Like you're consumed with constantly having to remind everyone of how great, smart, and desired you think you are. It almost makes me think of those fundie preachers that are consumed with crusading against gay folks, like it's all just a big way to try and convince everyone "I'm not really gay," but, surprise, they eventually get caught with a male hooker...
I'm not gonna sit here and say I have the most awesome of academic achievements ever, but I can grab scholarships, relevant institutions pay attention, my record bodes well for my drive in the future and I am personally proud of my accomplishments in educations especially considering what a shitty high-school student I was.

I gotta say, that my above post seems totally appropriate if crudely boastful of me in the context that Serfina accused me of having no worth-while accomplishments. Even so, that post has nothing to do with your ridiculous claim that I make suggestions, and proclamations about how other people live their lifes. Face it, your resentment towards me led you to presume that I had said something I had not. It's not a big deal, people misappropriate attributes to others ALL the time.

I HAVE masturbated in front of a full length mirror, and onto a hand mirror a number of times: but I fail to see what tha. . .Oh. I see what you did there. The implications. . .You know what? I'm not sorry, or ashamed of that. I worked my ass off for my body, and I love it.

As far as that last thing about me being a herald to my own awesome, I have no idea what you are talking about. How is comparing Ghost Rider to obese women, and announcing my positive qualities to a challenge that I did not have any make me an evangelical to myself?

Look; I'm not saying there aren't traits you can pick apart about me, but this just ain't one of them. It just seems sad that you would run with one you pulled from your rear as oppossed to exploring some of my more obvious failings and inadequacies.
I know how I would feel if someone said kiwi pees in the sink.
Every now and again I piss in the shower, that is kind of like a sink for my meat.
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Dalton »

GET THE FUCK OUT!
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Havok »

Welp, bye bye.

What took you so long? Crate of bananas fall off a truck?
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Ghost Rider »

I'd say it wasn't a large enough KK sacrifice.
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by The Yosemite Bear »

not to me too, but the quality of trolls, and the quality of show trials around these parts has gone way down hill since the GOD of the first couple of years around this place. why can't we have a deadman walking period like we did with trek destroyer?

Also who amoung the trolls had the most Sock puppets, I remember Diemios had a lot of puppets but I'm beging to think after recent events that TD may have replaced him for that "Honour"
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Ghost Rider »

The Yosemite Bear wrote:not to me too, but the quality of trolls, and the quality of show trials around these parts has gone way down hill since the GOD of the first couple of years around this place. why can't we have a deadman walking period like we did with trek destroyer?

Also who amoung the trolls had the most Sock puppets, I remember Diemios had a lot of puppets but I'm beging to think after recent events that TD may have replaced him for that "Honour"
Trekdestroyer is a poor one since his one claim to fame was being a kissass retard as well as his giant and useless signatures. Also his sock puppets are usually easy to find and he does have some very unusual contradictory views when let to roam for about ten or twenty posts.

Dan the Ninja man was by far more amusing as a troll and especially on the way down to the sewer in his actions.
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Ilya Muromets »

I've just watched this whole thing without comment since I know where this is going.

Just like to ask, though: is he banned yet?
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Chocolate Kiwii wrote:It was ridiculous of me to channel my tantrum on the "Responsibility of Wealthy & Power" topic into personal insults, and hysterical depredations on the civilization of other board-members. Shroom Man 777, I apologize. Not just for implying that your culture was without value, or worthy of consideration. But also because I thought it appropriate to dredge up a grossly horrifying instance in your countries history, and parade it about as if it were some kind of weapon.

I also am deeply sorry for anyone else who may have read that thread, and assumed me sincere in committing atrocities on other human beings whose only desire is to live, and maybe eek out some small fortune of prosperity in this brutal world of ours. Even mockingly, I should not have done that, and should have been more considerate of people who know the ease with which people will ravage and butcher one another.
I really don't get you. In posts like here and here and here you weren't acting like a colossal prick and actually seemed reasonable or something, with actual-factual discussion taking place. But in other posts, you were acting complete ass and that just pissed people off and after things got out of hand, you just ended up showing everyone that you were, well, a complete ass. And that's how we ended where we ended up in, here.

Maybe the guy should get a CT and some punitive measures, but we'll see how he shapes up over time? After all, if he does turn out to be a sincere shit, he can always be banned later after an even greater showing. Right now, I just think this sad incident was just one big fat clusterfuck and we should see how it turns out afterwards.
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Ghost Rider »

Ilya Muromets wrote:I've just watched this whole thing without comment since I know where this is going.

Just like to ask, though: is he banned yet?
Well when and if it's moved to Parting Shots...we'll know :).
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Ilya Muromets »

Chocolate Kiwii wrote:It was ridiculous of me to channel my tantrum on the "Responsibility of Wealthy & Power" topic into personal insults, and hysterical depredations on the civilization of other board-members. Shroom Man 777, I apologize. Not just for implying that your culture was without value, or worthy of consideration. But also because I thought it appropriate to dredge up a grossly horrifying instance in your countries history, and parade it about as if it were some kind of weapon.

I also am deeply sorry for anyone else who may have read that thread, and assumed me sincere in committing atrocities on other human beings whose only desire is to live, and maybe eek out some small fortune of prosperity in this brutal world of ours. Even mockingly, I should not have done that, and should have been more considerate of people who know the ease with which people will ravage and butcher one another.
I dunno, this apology think stinks of insincere sarcasm to me. There's just something about the wording of it. Maybe it's just me, but seeing the other previous troll behavior, this just smacks of laying-it-thick, smarmy "apology."
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Re: Show Trial for Chocolate Kiwii

Post by Patrick Degan »

Chocolate Kiwii wrote:Here is an idea: You see that top left corner just beneath the title of the board your in. No, further down. The where it repeats the name of the board in bolder letters. Ya, that "New Topic" button. Turns out. . .You can totally click it. You can click it and make your very own thread. A thread in which you can circle criticize and bitch-piss about the failings of our species to your hearts content! Hell, you know because of the mercurial and paradoxical nature of humanity; you'll probably even get people who are posting on my thread about our "Glorious Awesomeness" posting in your thread about our "Degenerative Lameness!" Hey! I like to bitch as well, I'll probably come in and join you. Swear to god! Go, go now. Try it.

Oh, and please excuse my circle-jerk. It's just that, it seems a pretty common occurrence in modern society to bitch endlessly about our inadequacies and failures of ourselves and our peers. I-AM-SSSOOO sorry, for trying to breath in a little bit of optimism, and pride in our species by celebrating our achievements. I'm so stupid, and wrong. God, I hope you can some day forgive me for my horrible lamitude.
Get rid of the imbecile.
When ballots have fairly and constitutionally decided, there can be no successful appeal back to bullets.
—Abraham Lincoln

People pray so that God won't crush them like bugs.
—Dr. Gregory House

Oil an emergency?! It's about time, Brigadier, that the leaders of this planet of yours realised that to remain dependent upon a mineral slime simply doesn't make sense.
—The Doctor "Terror Of The Zygons" (1975)
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