Favourite SG-1 qoutes.

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2004-03-01 01:05pm

Excatly what the title says. What are your favourite Stargate Quotes?

A couple of my favourites:
COOMBS: We're dead Felger! We might as well be wearing red shirts!

and
FELGER: ..and you can go back to saving the world for the seventh time.
TEAL'C: 8th
O'NEILL: You keep count?

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-03-01 01:12pm

The one about how many times Teal'c has seen Star Wars.

SylasGaunt · Post by **SylasGaunt** » 2004-03-01 01:13pm

"Have you considered that the reason you've been passed over for promotion so many times is not because you are a human, but because you are a moron?"

Shortie · Post by **Shortie** » 2004-03-01 01:57pm

Daniel: "What happened to you?"
Jack: "Oh, I got into a little wrestling match with Carter."
Daniel: "Why...?"
Jack: "I guess she's got whatever Johnson's got. I had to drag her off to the infirmary."
Daniel: "What, did she start a fight with you like Johnson did with Teal'c?"
Jack: "No, she, uh, tried to seduce me."
Daniel: "Oh. You... poor man."

Carter: "This is incredible. If Daniel is right this artifact has been doing this since Neanderthals were still a dominant species on Earth."
Jack: "Ah, that takes me back."

Jack: I remembered something. There's a man. He is bald and wears a short sleeve shirt. And somehow, he is important to me... I think his name is... Homer.

Jack: Come to retrieve your vastly superior stuff? You know it'd be a lot more superior if it wasn't so easy to steal.

Jack: So... what do you want to do now?
Teal'c: I have read that there is a place where warriors do battle in Jell-O.
Jack: Call Daniel.

Jack: Jaffa jokes? Let's hear one of those.
Teal'c: I will attempt to translate one, O'Neill.
Teal'c: A Serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips.
He cracks up. Everyone else just stares.

Anise (hands him a silver ball): "Please squeeze this."
Jack: "What is it?"
Anise: "It will measure your strength. (he squeezes the ball) Your strength is five times that of a normal human."
Jack: "So, no increase, then, huh?"

Jack: We'll cross that bridge when it comes to it.
Bra'tac: No! The bridge is heavily guarded!

Jaffa: No Matter what you have endured, you've never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of.
Jack O'Neill: You ended that sentence with a preposition, Bastard!

Oddysseus · Post by **Oddysseus** » 2004-03-01 02:09pm

"...Magnets!"

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2004-03-01 02:21pm

"This is the point when I say something deep and profound......nothing comes to mind..." - O'Neill

"Oh I'm sorry...I'm not Captain Kirk. I'm Luke Skywalker." - O'Neill

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-03-01 04:08pm

Shortie wrote:Jack: So... what do you want to do now?
Teal'c: I have read that there is a place where warriors do battle in Jell-O.
Jack: Call Daniel.

Humans do battle in a ring of Jello. Get it right!

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2004-03-01 06:27pm

Also the cut scene from the ep where there in the glacier and Tapping gives the "im stuck on a glacier with macguyver" speech.

Also:
"Thats O'neill. Two "L"s there another o'neil in the air force, no sense of humour."

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-03-01 06:46pm

welcome to the darkside-Oneil to the Tokra

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2004-03-01 08:22pm

Jack : - If we don't get out of this soon I'm going to lose it, lose it, it means go nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of one's faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, WACKO! *whilst saying this he is arranging a smilie face with his dinner and making a mess of it with mustard and ketchup*

That is hte only line to consistently crack me up, other than...

Hammond : - We're holding our breath down here
Teal'c : - That would be most unwise general hammond.

Mr. Sinister · Post by **Mr. Sinister** » 2004-03-01 08:38pm

*Jack swinging golf club in gate room with Teal'c*
Hammond: COLONEL O'NEILL, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
O'Neill: *exasperated* In the middle of my backswing?!

God, I love that scene.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-03-01 09:00pm

I always liked the exchange with O'Neill and his adolescent clone. O'Neill is dropping him off at school.

O'NEILL: Oh yeah ... one last thing ...
CLONE: Don't worry, I wasn't gonna keep in touch.
O'NEILL: Yeah ... it'd be-
BOTH: Weird.

Luke Starkiller · Post by **Luke Starkiller** » 2004-03-01 10:07pm

Mr. Sinister wrote:*Jack swinging golf club in gate room with Teal'c*
Hammond: COLONEL O'NEILL, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
O'Neill: *exasperated* In the middle of my backswing?!

God, I love that scene.

That whole episode is hilarious.

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2004-03-01 10:11pm

Howedar wrote:The one about how many times Teal'c has seen Star Wars.

I have never heard of that one.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-03-01 10:16pm

Luke Starkiller wrote:
Mr. Sinister wrote:*Jack swinging golf club in gate room with Teal'c*
Hammond: COLONEL O'NEILL, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
O'Neill: *exasperated* In the middle of my backswing?!

God, I love that scene.
That whole episode is hilarious.

I recently saw that episode for the first time, and love it.

My favourite was when Jack submitted his resignation to Hammond so he could make out with Carter.

Speaking of quotes, Sci-Fi is playing the episode with that one Apophis' kid from Abydos (or whatever), which would be good if 90% of the kid's dialogue didn't consist of fortune cookie pop philosophy...

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2004-03-01 10:27pm

MARTY: A top-secret government program involving instantaneous travel to other solar systems by means of a device known as a stargate.
O'NEILL: Sounds like a good idea for a TV show - if you're into that sort of thing.

TEAL'C: We have caught nothing. We are fishing.

O'NEILL: Bullet-point summaries. General, I realize the format of my reports is of vital importance and if you'd like some day we can get together and talk about fonts and margins.

HAMMOND: There seems to be a vast evil conspiracy among the Tollan Curia, whose apparent goal is to give us everything we ever wanted.

O'NEILL: Well technically I haven't sent it yet but if I get a chance again, I'm sure going to fill it with a lot more detail.
CARTER: Well you were probably trying to limit the causality violation by keeping it simple.
O'NEILL: I wonder whose idea that was?

MARTY: Okay, scene 23 takes place on another planet, so you think aliens eat apples?
PROPS GUY: Why not? They speak English.

DIRECTOR: So, three shots disintegrates them. I'm going to pretend you didn't say that, because that is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say.

DIRECTOR: You're out of phase.
CARTER CHARACTER: So, how come I don't fall through the floor?

O'NEILL: You sure you want to be in there?
SILERS: Not really sir.
O'NEILL: I wasn't talking to you.
...
O'NEILL: Shake it off, Sparky.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2004-03-02 04:53pm

JACK : "Thursday is no good for us."

GoldenFalcon · Post by **GoldenFalcon** » 2004-03-02 06:52pm

[After Shifu says rhetoric to Hammond.]

O'NEILL: "If I may, Sir, I think what he means is the wick is the center of the candle, and, ostensibly, a great leader, like yourself, is essential to the... whole ball of wax. Basically, what it means is that it's always better to have a big long wick..."

TEAL'C: "Have you not read the Bible, O'Neill?"
O'NEILL: "Oh, yeah, yeah... Not all of it. Actually, I'm listening to it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends."

And a whole lot more...

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2004-03-02 09:15pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote: I recently saw that episode for the first time, and love it.

My favourite was when Jack submitted his resignation to Hammond so he could make out with Carter.

Speaking of quotes, Sci-Fi is playing the episode with that one Apophis' kid from Abydos (or whatever), which would be good if 90% of the kid's dialogue didn't consist of fortune cookie pop philosophy...

What episode is that?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-03-02 09:55pm

Episode 417, "Absolute Power."

Ma Deuce · Post by **Ma Deuce** » 2004-03-02 10:05pm

Carter (to Daniel): "You don't think the Colonel kept a telescope on his roof to spy on the neighbors, do you?"
O'Neill: "Well, not initally"

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2004-03-02 11:13pm

Daniel: I need to see a doctor!
Guy: This hospital is closed!
Daniel: But I need to see a doctor! I've been electrocuted!
Guy: Electrocuted?!
Daniel: Yeah, it felt alot like this!
*Daniel zats the guy*

Thag · Post by **Thag** » 2004-03-03 12:07am

O'Neill: "Apparently, they want to talk to it. For the record, I'd like to blow it up."

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2004-03-03 12:43am

I like the O'Niell on the Wormhole Xtreme episode.

"Cut!"
"What do you mean it's not a real show?"

Invader ZIm · Post by **Invader ZIm** » 2004-03-03 01:41am

Jack: "Oh, look everybody! He's got Combs!"