Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

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Zor
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Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by Zor » 2018-02-28 03:48pm

In this scenario one day in your hometown a huge top shaped spacecraft a kilometer and a half descends from the sky and hovers 4 km above the ground. Shortly after hundreds of boxy vehicles about twelve meters long and three meters across fly out under escort by a group of four 60cm long discs each. These touch down and out of each runs several dozen Corgis...
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The Corgis have a strange looking collar and dog jackets in colder climates, but are otherwise normal. They are all friendly dogs that get along well humans, especially children. For food the ship launches outhouse sized dog food dispenser terminals and keeps them supplied. The Disc shaped robots proceed to follow them about keeping a loot out for them. The Corgi's collar has a shield generator, nothing short of a fair bit of automatic fire from guns or an RPG is getting through it. Moreover if anyone attempts to kill a Corgi the disc shaped bots will intervene. They can fly at speeds of up to 200km/h, go from 0 to 200km/h in 5 seconds, have a shield generator comparable to those on the Corgis and have a G-Projector: a device which can project Gamma Rays either as a flash or a tight graser beam, either way it's maximum output is about 50kj. They are programmed to hit the offending anti-corgite with gamma rays until they've been neutralized. They are programmed to hit the offending anti-corgite with gamma rays until they've been neutralized. The ship has a factory which produces 500 tonnes of Dog Food and up to 300 Corgi-Defense Drones a Day.

What do you do?

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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2018-02-28 05:28pm

The Queen is an alien, confirmed? :D
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by FaxModem1 » 2018-02-28 10:47pm

How do they react to snausages and being told that they're a good boy, with receiving pets between the ears?
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by Imperial528 » 2018-03-01 07:31am

These drones have grasers?

Grasers?!?

I hope these things don't go off in a densely populated area or have a more discriminate weapon. The potential for collateral damage is insane here.

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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by LaCroix » 2018-03-01 08:24am

Continue with my life and ignore these stray dogs that are taken care of by the ship?

Last time I cast a glance, the fields I grow my fucks upon are barren, so why should I care about something that does not interfere with me, at all.
A minute's thought suggests that the very idea of this is stupid. A more detailed examination raises the possibility that it might be an answer to the question "how could the Germans win the war after the US gets involved?" - Captain Seafort, in a thread proposing a 1942 'D-Day' in Quiberon Bay

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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-03-01 11:57am

Aside from realizing that the Queen has a new bodyguard, George and Catherine have new playmates, and negotiating an agreement for them not to shit in my yard, I live and let live.

(Ya know ya didn't, no ya didn't, no ya diiidddn't)
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by Tribble » 2018-03-01 02:28pm

would the shield generators be able to withstand collisions with vehicles? How would the defence drones react if a corgi stepped onto a highway and it was about to be struck by a car? Would they destroy the vehicle and/or occupants to protect the corbi, even if it was an accident?

Also, are we required to feed the corgis or will they be led to the food? If we fail to feed the corgis, would we be punished for it?
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by Simon_Jester » 2018-03-01 02:40pm

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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-03-01 03:10pm

Tribble wrote:
2018-03-01 02:28pm
would the shield generators be able to withstand collisions with vehicles? How would the defence drones react if a corgi stepped onto a highway and it was about to be struck by a car? Would they destroy the vehicle and/or occupants to protect the corbi, even if it was an accident?

Also, are we required to feed the corgis or will they be led to the food? If we fail to feed the corgis, would we be punished for it?
I think they feed themselves.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law

"The Constitution's a piece of paper. A kick in the head is a jolt."
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"Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty."
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-03-01 03:11pm

How do they relate to Earth dogs? Will the cats see them as a threat?
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law

"The Constitution's a piece of paper. A kick in the head is a jolt."
—Stanley "Ray" Kowalski
"Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty."
---NRA motto

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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by CetaMan » 2018-03-03 06:25pm

How intelligent is the system running the disks? Presumably it gets annoyed when the discs are captured or dissected and tries to prevent it? If not then we begin harvesting the power sources and technology from the disks, including the personal shields. Begin eventual adaptation of man-portable grasers and shield generators along with modification of other weapons derived from the tech.

Theoretically we now have an unlimited meat source if a way to jam the collar signal is found, or we subvert the syetem through other means. IE its effectively a challenge of governments on who can co-opt the tech fastest, and society receives a huge tech boost over time.

Could also just stick all the Corgi's in a box, moving them into a secure location probably doesn't count as harming them.

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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by Zixinus » 2018-03-06 09:26am

So... the aliens treat our entire planet as a doggy daycare center now?
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by SolarpunkFan » 2018-03-09 10:05am

I have a massive weakness for dogs. So I'd probably get killed by a drone whilst trying to snuggle some of these corgis. :P
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by Zor » 2018-03-09 03:49pm

SolarpunkFan wrote:
2018-03-09 10:05am
I have a massive weakness for dogs. So I'd probably get killed by a drone whilst trying to snuggle some of these corgis. :P
The drones are smart enough to distingish between someone having fun with a Corgi and someone who's trying to do one harm.

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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-03-09 06:00pm

SolarpunkFan wrote:
2018-03-09 10:05am
I have a massive weakness for dogs. So I'd probably get killed by a drone whilst trying to snuggle some of these corgis. :P
I dread what will happen, when someone gets it in his head to address the leader of an alien race as "has him been a good boy? Huh? Has hims been a good boy?!"
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law

"The Constitution's a piece of paper. A kick in the head is a jolt."
—Stanley "Ray" Kowalski
"Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty."
---NRA motto

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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by SolarpunkFan » 2018-03-12 01:04am

Zor wrote:
2018-03-09 03:49pm
The drones are smart enough to distingish between someone having fun with a Corgi and someone who's trying to do one harm.

Zor
Yays for getting to snuggle space corgis! :luv: :P

(Would this be considered a junk post? I don't know how much it adds to the discussion, if at all.)
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by Sky Captain » 2018-03-14 05:00pm

I'd think it is probably some sort of weird alien science experiment. One thing is certain, you don't want to mess around with beings who can arm camera drones with grasers.

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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by Zixinus » 2018-03-16 04:17pm

You definitely don't want to mess around a being or society that sees Earth and the one thing they think is "hey, doggy park for our pet corgis!". I mean, that is just a deeply frightening statement of their capacity, wealth and our regard for humanity in one go.
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by SolarpunkFan » 2018-03-17 03:01pm

Sky Captain wrote:
2018-03-14 05:00pm
I'd think it is probably some sort of weird alien science experiment. One thing is certain, you don't want to mess around with beings who can arm camera drones with grasers.
Though it might ask the question: would this be an example of The Visitors scenario?

As an aside, I've realized that this scenario seems to have a few shades of some Simak works (the aforementioned The Visitors and City) and maybe some Roadside Picnic and Stanislaw Lem works as well.

So this may not end so well for us. Or maybe not end so sane for us. :wtf:
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-03-17 03:37pm

Earth will go to the dogs, no matter what.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law

"The Constitution's a piece of paper. A kick in the head is a jolt."
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"Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty."
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by FaxModem1 » 2018-03-17 05:35pm

U.P. Cinnabar wrote:
2018-03-17 03:37pm
Earth will go to the dogs, no matter what.
:) :wtf:

That was bad and you should feel bad.
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-03-17 05:36pm

The funny thing is, I don't.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law

"The Constitution's a piece of paper. A kick in the head is a jolt."
—Stanley "Ray" Kowalski
"Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty."
---NRA motto

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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by FaxModem1 » 2018-03-17 05:45pm

U.P. Cinnabar wrote:
2018-03-17 05:36pm
The funny thing is, I don't.
They should put you in the doghouse for that joke.
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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-03-17 05:46pm

:lol:

Completely blindsided by that.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law

"The Constitution's a piece of paper. A kick in the head is a jolt."
—Stanley "Ray" Kowalski
"Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty."
---NRA motto

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Re: Corgi Colonization (RAR!)

Post by Raw Shark » 2018-03-20 09:47pm

I have only two questions:

What the fuck are you smoking, Zor, and will you pass that shit this way?

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