Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

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Zor
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Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by Zor » 2018-01-11 12:13am

In this scenario in season one of voyager Neelix gets eaten by a horde of angry tazmanian devils. But his role as chief Fry Cook is soon filled as Q drops off this guy and his family to Run Voyager's kitchen...
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What happens?

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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by Simon_Jester » 2018-01-11 02:53pm

Who is this person and can you describe him?

What percent of his brainpower does he keep in his magnificent mustache?
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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by Zixinus » 2018-01-11 03:49pm

Probably more than Nelix does. And probably endanger the ship less often.
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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by Tribble » 2018-01-11 10:16pm

From glancing at Wiki, Bob knows how to cook, doesn't claim to be a "survival expert" and has experience in dealing with the public and raising a family... ya even when on crack he's probably still better than Neelix.
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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by Avrjoe » 2018-01-12 03:38am

I have been a fan of this site for a long time. I was a long time lurker and big Star Wars vs. Star Trek fan. Despite this, I never joined until posts like this drew me in.

Zor, your more serious RAR posts are thought provoking. As a RPG player and GameMaster, they've given me ideas I've spun off for my own campaigns. Humorous one offs like this have provoked laughter.

My roommate is a big Bob’s Burger fan, and Voyager is his favorite Star Trek series. I have consulted get him to evaluate this scenario. Personally, with my limited experience with Bob’s Burgers, I would say the Belchers would be a breath of fresh air. They would be amazed by many of the advanced technologies in a way that would remind the crew of how good they have it. Bob would gripe about not getting paid but, being issued replicator rations would appease him. He’d probably then promptly lose them in a betting scheme. (Likely to Tom Paris.) Linda would join Janeway's early series Victorian romance holo-dramas - and probably take it too far. The children would run amok out of boredom with no playmate existed until the later seasons.
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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by Simon_Jester » 2018-01-12 08:07am

Well, at least Starfleet has more collective knowledge about reining in kids aboard ship than a typical modern navy does. Sure, Voyager didn't bring families and children along on their mission, but I'm sure they have people who served aboard the Galaxy-class and otherwise have institutional experience with that.
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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by Zixinus » 2018-01-12 08:54am

Kids can be preoccupied and will actually mostly obey orders. Nelix will endanger the ship while doing his job.
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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by TheFeniX » 2018-01-12 12:18pm

Zixinus wrote:
2018-01-12 08:54am
Kids can be preoccupied and will actually mostly obey orders. Nelix will endanger the ship while doing his job.
Bob's kids?..... heheh...hahahaha! No. Considering the shit they get into and how often Voyager seems to want to blow itself up on a given day..... I'd watch "Bob's Mess Hall."

Bob himself is actually not that bad, but Linda and the kids could possibly push even someone like Tuvok into Ragekill mode. Tina aside, Bob's family is... pretty rough. Louise herself is a sociopath, though I guess that's what happens when you give someone that young adult reasoning, but none of the empathy. She's also incredibly good at manipulating people and I don't think the Voyager crew could handle someone like her. They're all to stupid or gullible, aside from maybe Seven.

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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by TheFeniX » 2018-01-12 05:08pm

Actually, thinking about it: wrangling Louise would by far be the hardest part of dealing with a Burger Joint in the mess hall. Just from the first episode, it being possibly the best and funniest one out there, within a few minutes of leaving her alone, she had renamed the burger of the day "The Child Molester" (it comes with candy) and later in the same episode gets Bob into a whole heap of shit to show off in Show and Tell by saying they get their meat from the Mortuary next door. As the situation continues to spiral out of hand, she is constantly egging on everyone in what seems an attempt to destroy her own family.

She seems to understand the amount of shit this will and did get Bob into, but doesn't seem to care. Even though it's likely she's doing it solely for Bob's attention as him (or anyone else) not giving her 110% of their attention makes her act out in levels beyond another malcontent like Bart Simpson, but not quite to Eric Cartman levels. She's not really evil, but seemingly understands consequences enough to know "this is bad, but who cares" but possibly not enough to understand the end result "I could get my dad thrown in jail." She is disturbingly good at stirring up the worst in people.

Gene OTOH is just an annoying little bastard but none of it seems malign. He just thinks he is that funny and worth paying attention to and doesn't even seem to understand the concept that he can be annoying. He causes damage out of a complete lack of understanding of reality.

Bob himself would likely get along quite well with the Voyager crew. He's laid back, seems to be an above average line chef, and doesn't just talk all over his customers like Nelix did. This is when he's not forced to ignore his customers because his family is seemingly attempting to destroy him.

Linda's "Peggy Hill" like nature is exasperating. I doubt she would be all that popular. And Tina is Tina. As the buttmonkey, she elicits a few laughs and more than enough sympathy. Provided the Voyager crew doesn't mind child labor, they could give Tina some rash medication and have her help mom and dad. Gene can be kept busy in any number of ways, but Louise will need to be treated as a Borg-level threat.

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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by Isolder74 » 2018-01-12 07:39pm

I have said anything yet as I'm not too familiar with Bob's Burgers.

Given how terrible Neelix is at cooking and managing a food sr=ervice operation, it can only be an improvement. The only problem might be his trouble diversifying his menu to accommodate many Starfleet personnel's preferences for vegetarian diets.
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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-01-13 12:35am

I'm sure the ship's computers have recipes for vegi burgers somewhere in their rusty innards.

Some of which might actually be good.

The problem is what's he going to use for meat, since replicator use is so restricted, and he's unfamiliar with what DQ animals make good eating.
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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2018-01-13 12:36am

Also, I'm sure Taz would find Telaxian long pig indigestible.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
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Re: Voyager gets a new cook (RAR!)

Post by Solauren » 2018-01-15 08:44pm

Bob does a decent job in the kitchen, and probably adapts to life on Voyager pretty well.
If his real memories ever come back, damn well keep him on the ship to avoid a trail of upset female aliens wanting to kill Voyager.... :angelic:

Regardless, his family ends up some sort of psychiatric medicine.
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