Pacific Rim: substitution tournament

[TithonusSyndrome]

The four principal Jaegers featured in Pacific Rim are forcibly taken to modern earth and forced to fight in walled-off populated centers by Q, but without their in-film crews: instead, they are placed in an elimination tournament with duos from other fictional settings.

First, fighting in a walled-off London, Gypsy Danger is arranged to fight Striker Eureka, but with the former being crewed by Beavis and Butthead, and the latter being crewed by Mark Corrigan and Jez Usborne from Peep Show, respectively. At the same time, New York is also walled off by similar force fields so as to facilitate a fight between Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon, but the first is crewed by Ilana Wexler and Abby Abrams of Broad City and the second is crewed by Ricky and Bubbles of Trailer Park Boys. All Jaeger operators will be utterly convinced by Q that their lives are in mortal danger if they forfeit or throw the match, and that the opposing Jaeger is being crewed by whatever the specific operators in question are most disgusted or concerned about so as to motivate them. The victors of both matches will be transported to Tokyo and walled in by force fields for a final match with similar conditions, for a winner-takes-all finale showdown.

Who wins each match?

[NecronLord]

Wasn't Crimson Typhoon objectively the strongest?

[TithonusSyndrome]

I don't think so, but I just looked it up and apparently it requires three operators instead of two, which is something of a fortunate coincidence as I can just expand the stable of operators to Ricky, Bubbles and Julian from Trailer Park Boys. If I had to pick an "objectively strongest" Jaeger based on what the wiki says, Striker Eureka appears to be the newest and most advanced one.

[Kingmaker]

I take it we're assuming drift compatibility?

Wasn't Crimson Typhoon objectively the strongest?

It's never explicitly said which is 'strongest', but Striker Eureka is the most advanced of the five in the movie.

Incidentally, Crimson Typhoon requires a crew of three, not two, so Ricky and Bubbles are going to have a bad time.

edit: one-upped by simulpost

[TithonusSyndrome]

Yeah, drift compatibility, no adverse health risks from standard operating activity, etc. If there's some technical detail I've missed about Jaeger operation that these crews run afoul of and can't possibly deal with, Q has obviated it in the interests of seeing the fight go through.

[Q99]

It's never explicitly said which is 'strongest', but Striker Eureka is the most advanced of the five in the movie.

Incidentally, Crimson Typhoon requires a crew of three, not two, so Ricky and Bubbles are going to have a bad time.

They do have stats in an artbook, speed/strength/armor f each. Striker's solidly the best by a good margin. Crimson and Cherno and Gipsy have pretty similar totals with Gipsy only slightly behind (Cherno was conceived of originally as a mark IV in the script, then changed, which may explain why it has the same stats as a mark IV- chalk it up to upgrades, maybe). The old mark 1s (Ronin, Romeo, and Coyote) are on a lower level than them by a similar gap.

That said, it's pretty clear pilot level is crucial. There's a good reason why a mark 1 is one of the last ones standing. Plus that doesn't take weapons into consideration- some weapons are going to be better or worse against other jaegers. Like, Crimson Typhoon's spinning blades may not be very effective against Cherno's armor... but it's plasma gun may be (it has one with three times the power of Gipsy's in it's biggest arm.... but also, a set 7 second charge time).

It'd also help if I knew, well, any of these characters aside from B&B ^^

[TithonusSyndrome]

If the weapons systems have a highly user-friendly UI and can be deduced basically on intuition, they'll matter; if not, Q isn't going to inform anyone how to use them or even that they exist in the first place. That's for them to discover.

As for some very basic background on the characters:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peep_Show_(TV_series)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broad_City

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trailer_Park_Boys

I tried to preserve the international spirit of Pacific Rim in my choices.

[Vendetta]

Well, Beavis and Butthead would be unable to curtail their usual tendency to fight, especially when they became aware what was in each other's heads, so Gipsy Danger would beat itself into scrap, can't comment on the other characters though.

[TithonusSyndrome]

If Q convinced them that Winger was piloting their opponent, I think they'd be able to focus long enough to commit.

[Q99]

If the weapons systems have a highly user-friendly UI and can be deduced basically on intuition, they'll matter; if not, Q isn't going to inform anyone how to use them or even that they exist in the first place. That's for them to discover.

A major point on that, due to the fact in the movie the Gipsy crew never got around to a weapon check thanks to drift failure, Raleigh was unaware that GD had been given new swords.

I mean, Mako freaking out did use one weapon by accident, so they could stumble upon them, but odds are pretty good they'll end up fighting just HtH. A Jaeger's a fairly complex machine with a lot of options that need training.

I suspect Cherno may be the best Jaeger in this situation. Heaviest armor, very straightforward approach.

[TithonusSyndrome]

Best Jaeger, maybe; but I doubt Abby is prepared for the unfiltered contents of Ilana's head. Like, at all.

[Q99]

If a duo can't drift, then they'll stagger around, stop moving occasionally, maybe fall over.... most people can probably move some, it's the fighting that's hard.

[TithonusSyndrome]

Well we're assuming drift compatibility here, so what else is required? The issue I see for the two of them is that Ilana is, in spite of being by far the more socially successful and outgoing member of the duo, sort of obsessed with her bestie to the point of a sort of quasi-sexual-but-still-platonic fixation. If she senses anything in Abby's mind that might imply some possibility of reciprocation, it could distract her completely - or motivate her to win the fight, who knows.

The bigger issue, however, is just the fact that Ilana is so uninhibited, promiscuous and has extremely high and extremely particular sexual standards. Abby might find access to Ilana's mind and all the high-octane filth within it to be a bit much to handle.

[Kingmaker]

Even if we assume drift compatibility, it seems unlikely that any of these characters have the mental discipline to actually operate at Jaeger instead of getting stuck in flashbacks (the Random Access Brain Impulse Triggers mentioned before the first drifting sequence).

[TithonusSyndrome]

Let's file that under "a technical detail I missed that Q has fixed in order to let the fight proceed", then. I don't expect them to fight very well, of course, and some of them are going to be better coordinated than others, but Q still wants a fight and intends to have one.