You're a super villian, how do YOU take over the world?

[The Yosemite Bear]

1. I need to get a nice cat to pet
2. come to think of it lots of cats
3. for reasons that will get me in trouble with some, build an army of Gynoids (Female androids)
4. Sell said Gynoids to rich sick fucks
5. Finance take over with above sales
6. Even evil has it's standards, have my android army kill those abusive sick fucks
7. feed cat finest rich fat Paedo pat'e then pet the cat again.
8. Just fuckin shoot Bond, no exposition, no death trap he can escape.
9. Spend money on Sith skilled mastermind kitties....

[Purple]

No, no and no! There have to be death traps. A good super villain just has to have death traps the hero can easily escape. It's part of the creed. Nothing is stopping you from stationing a platoon of infantry with machine guns on the other side of the only door thou. Or in my case, a bear sized genetically mutated platypus warrior.

[The Yosemite Bear]

watches as cuddles shocks a dog with force lightning....

really7

[khursed]

I appreciate that you've actually gone for the 'supervillain' part of the theme, as the resulting global North Korea style communist dystopia would indeed be a living hell for everyone left on earth, and you've got your delusional self-justifying doublethink down pat.

The way I see it, I'd be a benevolent dictator, however, as we all know, those are almost always self delusional fool who think their way is the only possible way, and thus will crush the spirit of the dream trying to achieve it.

All freedom instantly eradicated, extremely harsh laws abused by corrupt officials, well meaning plans completely backfires and massacres insane amount of people due to poor management and handling.

Thats the thing with those kind of endeavor, lets be honest, if your first step of world domination is to coerce the rest of the world to follow you by such an horrible mean, what are the honest chance you'll be a benevolent dictator? Odds are you're just going to pretend to be one while doing pretty much what the heck it is you want to do.

Power without consequence always seem to lead to abuse, corruption and evil.

[dworkin]

I've always been a fan of orbital mind-control lasers.

To finance them however, my goons and I shall have to rob banks. Because there just is no middle ground with supervillany.

[Lonestar]

Send them cruddy movies, the worst that I can find.

[FedRebel]

So... Given the basic "Evil Super Villan" set up, how would YOU take over the world? Trying to keep deaths and needless destruction of cities to a bare minimum.

EDIT: keep in mind, this isn't a "RAR" per-say, more a thought exercise on more 'elagant' methods of global conquest.

1.. Get solid dirt on the majority of politicians

2. Become president of the U.S.

3. Use the "dirt" as leverage to get my policies through, all the while being quite charismatic and charming.

4. Encourage 4/5th majority voting in much of America's Allies, and use the "dirt" I have on foreign politicians...plus old fashioned ballot stuffing to secure their admission.

5. With my second term near an end, I get the presidential term limit repealed and win a third term with ease.

6. In flagrant violation of treaty I launch a fleet of Orion's and use them to hold the rest of the world paralyzed in fear as I conquer the rest of the planet, country by country the 'old fashioned way.'

7. The world is now mine, and I am free to enjoy a life-term as "Sovereign President."

[SirNitram]

1. Use super-genius intellect to create megacorporation.
2. Usurp lesser megacorporations by lower prices and superior products(Remember, Evil Genius), as well as being less dickish.
3. Expand into global finance.
4. Begin lending to goverments.
5. Use leverage of debts to enact policies I desire.
5b. Simultaneously increase public perception by using mountain of money to assist struggling countries/regions.

6. I now effectively control the globe, hidden behind layers of control. No one knows to target me. Also, I have more money than GOD.

[Thanas]

Gain shapeshifting ability.

[lordofchange13]

Gain Molecular Man's power and demand everyone to follow me or i blow up the sun.

[jollyreaper]

Send them cruddy movies, the worst that I can find.

lalala

[jollyreaper]

One question would be why would I want to take over the world? What's my motivation here? Most supervillians are along the Joker's speech, the one about a dog chasing a car. They wouldn't know what to do once they did take over, plans aren't really thought through at all.

Supervillians tend either want to destroy the world or take it over. Those who want to take it over either are 1) misaimed altruists whose plans for what's best for us are not fun 2) fanatics whose plans are not in our best interest and of course are not fun or 3) so psycho nothing they say makes even evi sense.

1) Would be the benevolent tyrant, standards of living would be better, people would have a hard tiem condemning him for being evil even if he did terrible things because the world is a better place. But more likely than not he would intend to be a benevolent tyrant and become the fanatic. Hitler saw himself as the benevolent tyrant. 2) Fascist and communist governments usually decay into this. Hellish, nasty, the only people enjoying themselves are the assholes who put themselves in charge. 3) Khmer Rouge, pretty much fucking crazy is the only way to describe them. It's like the whole goddamn country was turned into a giant suicide cult. Completely insane. Usually you have to stick with comic books to find this kind of insanity carried out on a national level. The whole movement was axe-crazy, drowning babies in bathtubs batshit insane.

I'd say the scariest one of these to be in is something like a 2. The 3's would tend to burn out quickly. The worst 2 I can imagine would be one where the entire society basically is like Kafka meets Saw. The masters have it setup well enough so that it won't collapse, the lights will stay on and trains run, but at the upper levels the goal is pretty much to psychologically torture and destroy people. Stalin delighted in pitting one subordinate against another. Random purges keeping everyone on their toes but it's not any genuine interest in rooting out the disloyal, it's simply to increase fear for fear's sake because the masters are sick fucks.

[Jaepheth]

I imagine a gray goo scenario, but controlled by me.

Basically, I invent nano robots that are interfaced directly to my brain; extending my consciousness into their network. Then, I patiently wait for them to replicate; covering every surface on earth in a transparent film of nano machines.

Once this is accomplished I use them to announce to every man, woman, and child that I am now their new god. To prove my power; every murderer (as witnessed by my omnipresent nano-eyes), politician, and religious leader instantly drops dead from a sudden case of devoured by nano-machines for raw material.

People will then be free to live their lives in the manner I dictate.

[PeZook]

Taking over the world as it is now is an awful lot of work for little gain. I therefore construct a colony ship, stock it with my very own cybernetically controlled personality cult and leave Earth, releasing a deadly bioengineered plague behind to make sure no pesky Earth Alliance warships will find my new utopia in the future.

This new world will be named for me, controlled by me, and of course will ultimately descend into hellish drug-controlled tyranny designed for one purpose: to rearrange the galaxies to spell out my name.

Anything else is terribly droll and down to earth.

[Connor MacLeod]

Poo flinging chimpanzees. LOTS of Chimpanzees. Except I replace their skulls with clear., bulletproof glass domes and human brains so as to improve the tactical value and/or accuracy of the poo flinging.

And then I make them ride bicycles:

[vengence]

Free internet!

[mr friendly guy]

Can the supervillain forge their own power ring and power battery? I can forge my own Green Lantern corps, but evil. Just have androids program to obey me. If anyone thinks to reprogram the android I hold the trump card. The power ring can't be used against me and I can turn if off anytime.

To carry out my plan I would most probably fake an alien invasion requiring my new <insert colour here> corps to save the day. Gradually I start taking over from there. First as governmental advisors on dealing with alien threats, and then moving onto more day to day stuff.

That being said, if I could do all this, why the hell would I want to take over the world in the first place? Its not like I am Vandal Savage, oh wait did I just spoil things?

[DudeGuyMan]

If I have to be a supervillain, I'd rather be General Zod. Then I just make sure everyone knows that I will be watching, and if they do anything I don't like, they will get one chance to fix it before I throw them into the sun.

They can still have their little presidents and prime ministers. They can still pass whatever laws they like, and even have elections if that makes them happy. That sort of shit is beneath me. But if I pick up the phone in my Fortress of Evil and tell the US government that I want them to declare today National We Love General DudeGuyMan Day and ban record producers from using Autotune, those things had better happen. Else one Senator per hour is going into the sun until they do.

[Purple]

Motivation you say... What is my motivation? How about this. A genius inventor gone mad. I would be a kind of genius inventor like Tony Stark or Mr Fantastic. But since its the real world, I would not own my own company but get stuck working for others. Finally after many years of being sick of other people getting all the rewards of my hard work I would snap and set out on my own by making a mind control device to control the board of directors of the company I work for. After that, see my old plan.

As a bonus, when someone like Mr. Bond comes after me I get to play the poor scientist who was just doing his job and point him at the evil chairman. By the time he finishes with him and realizes I am the real bad guy I shall be in my fortress on the moon burning my name into Eurasia with a doom laser.

[aussiemuscle308]

i can understand why we've never had a super hero, but why have we never had a super villain? surely there's people in positions of power that have delusions of world domination?

A combination of mind control and superior commerical products.

you'll get further with inferior commercial products. ask Bill Gates!

[Purple]

i can understand why we've never had a super hero, but why have we never had a super villain? surely there's people in positions of power that have delusions of world domination?

Like these guys?

[Ted C]

Well, barring the use of mind control technology to easily achieve the desired obedience, the threat of horrifying destruction is a good way to achieve compliance without actually have to do much destroying.

Using the solar flare example, I would want to notify astronomers around the world that I was going to demonstrate my ability to devastate large areas of the world at will, then I would trigger a flare that would be a suitable near-miss. That lets everyone know that I mean business and can carry out my threat. All that's left is to arrange for the appropriate transfers of power and wealth, or actually wipe out a continent with a solar flare, if the foolish governments of the world continue to defy me.

As Don Corleone put it: "I'll make 'em an offer they can't refuse."

[The Yosemite Bear]

I still saycats, and clones...

[Sephirius]

I win the republican nomination and presidential election in 2016, and proceed to enforce my neoconservative hegemony on the world. But I'd especially make the Philippines a US protectorate, just to make Shroom lose it even more than he already has.