Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

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Marcus Aurelius
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Marcus Aurelius » 2010-08-12 08:25pm

Raxmei wrote:But could a Jedi win Bella's heart? Should she go for necrophilia, bestiality, or the guy from Tatooine who knows Jedi mind trick. Go team Skywalker!

Who cares? It's obvious that Jabba the Hutt is the right one for Bella! Like Darksider wrote, "my boyfriend is my only defining trait"

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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Solauren » 2010-08-12 09:28pm

Bella would be a good match for a Sith Lord. I'm sure she actually likes the abuse...

I can't believe I actually wrote that. I can't believe i'm going to post it...

But I did and am :angelic:

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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Isolder74 » 2010-08-12 09:30pm

Darksider wrote:
Raxmei wrote:But could a Jedi win Bella's heart? Should she go for necrophilia, bestiality, or the guy from Tatooine who knows Jedi mind trick. Go team Skywalker!


Given that Luke ended up marrying a feisty redhead who was just as combat-capable as he was and was once an elite Imperial Assassin, what makes you think he'd even be interested in little miss "my boyfriend is my only defining trait?"


Bella wouldn't last 5 mins trying to do any kind of boyfriend stealing of Luke Skywalker! Mara Jade would take her out so fast her head would spin! Callista would own Bella too....

How did this sort of debate start in the first place? Are Twilight Fans the next Trektards or something so insecure that they can't stand fans of anything else other then their pet franchise?
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Star Wars 888 » 2010-08-12 11:03pm

Isolder74 wrote:
Darksider wrote:
Raxmei wrote:But could a Jedi win Bella's heart? Should she go for necrophilia, bestiality, or the guy from Tatooine who knows Jedi mind trick. Go team Skywalker!


Given that Luke ended up marrying a feisty redhead who was just as combat-capable as he was and was once an elite Imperial Assassin, what makes you think he'd even be interested in little miss "my boyfriend is my only defining trait?"


Bella wouldn't last 5 mins trying to do any kind of boyfriend stealing of Luke Skywalker! Mara Jade would take her out so fast her head would spin! Callista would own Bella too....

How did this sort of debate start in the first place? Are Twilight Fans the next Trektards or something so insecure that they can't stand fans of anything else other then their pet franchise?


The Jedi Order is far more powerful than Twilight vampires, yet still this guy claimed that 2 vampires could conquer the Star Wars Galaxy.

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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Darksider » 2010-08-12 11:29pm

Isolder74 wrote:
Bella wouldn't last 5 mins trying to do any kind of boyfriend stealing of Luke Skywalker! Mara Jade would take her out so fast her head would spin! Callista would own Bella too....


Considering he's in his late twenties to early thirties by the time he marries Mara, I foresee Luke being a little creeped out at a teenager obsessing over him. Their first conversation would probably go something along the lines of:

*waves hand* "you are not interested in me. You want to check yourself into a reputable psychiatric treatment facility and get help for your obvious relationship issues."


And it would work too. Remember, the Force has a strong influence on the weak-minded.
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Setzer » 2010-08-12 11:53pm

Edward said he can't read Bella's thoughts, and the most logical conclusion (based on observable evidence) is that she doesn't have any. Bella would need to get a lot more brains to qualify as weak minded.
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Raxmei » 2010-08-13 12:02am

What about the other Jedi named Skywalker from Tatooine? He's single by the end of the prequels.
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Isolder74 » 2010-08-13 02:06am

Raxmei wrote:What about the other Jedi named Skywalker from Tatooine? He's single by the end of the prequels.


What size of box will they need to clean up the mess left over? Vader is not someone I'd call even slightly emotionally stable post RotS, at all. She's annoying and you have to think about just how long it would take for her to piss Vader off while near him!
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Marcus Aurelius » 2010-08-13 05:08am

Isolder74 wrote:
Raxmei wrote:What about the other Jedi named Skywalker from Tatooine? He's single by the end of the prequels.


What size of box will they need to clean up the mess left over? Vader is not someone I'd call even slightly emotionally stable post RotS, at all. She's annoying and you have to think about just how long it would take for her to piss Vader off while near him!


Considering the outfit though, Vader would make an even better Master for an S&M relationship than Jabba. I mean, doesn't he look exactly like someone who lives in a dungeon? He could also spank Bella with a light saber.

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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Imperial528 » 2010-08-13 10:57am

Fairies and piss-poor werewolves versus Star Wars? No contest. If it were actually possible for it to happen, I think the most likely outcome would be one of these two scenarios:

1. Shuttle pilot pulls a Tarkin and "accidentally" lands on waiting twilight "forces".
2. Imperial forces disembark, one-sided slaughter occurs, only Imperial loss results when Vader kills the officer in charge for not sounding British during moments of dialogue.

Problems will arise for twilight from square one, mostly because of SW weapons: plasma. Plasma would easily set fire to a person or wolf, and that makes it worse for the "vampires" since according to the book cutting the "vampires" to pieces and/or burning them are the only ways to permanently kill them. (I got this information from a rather good video on youtube in which a few people destroy the book in the way described.)

Seriously, there is no reason to believe the creatures in twilight would be a problem to anyone with a shotgun or a pistol who was not ambushed. And just for laughs: A friend of mine did some research (due to confusion on how there are supposedly vampires in twilight, yet the only attribute of a vampire they show is drinking blood) and found it is most likely that the supposed "vampires" are actually a type of fairy (explains sparkles) which is carnivorous (explains drinking blood) and has a low tolerance to the sun (explains pale skin). I think the name of this breed of fairy started with a g, but I can't remember.


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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Oni Koneko Damien » 2010-08-13 12:15pm

Imperial528 wrote:Fairies and piss-poor werewolves versus Star Wars? No contest.


Whoa whoa whoa!

You leave fairies out of this, asshole! I will not have their good name sullied by association with a bunch of fruity, emo-tastic psuedo-vamps just because they have the shared trait of occasional sparkliness!
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Connor MacLeod » 2010-08-13 05:48pm

Re: 9000 mph. moving at 9000 mph means that you're moving at hyper-velocity, meaning that there will be significant thermal and sonic boom going on (something like Mach 12). That is not going to be stealthy or something you want to do if yuo want to fit in. You also cannot achieve those via simple foot motion (friction wouldnt allow it. Mike covered this on bullet-dogding years ago.)\

Just because some twit makes a calculation does not automatically make any calc reasonable. Assumptions that go into them matter as much as the math does, and more need to realize this.

BTW as far as Force TK goes and whether it can be "dodged" I suppose that depends entirely on how it works, how quickly it works, and how it is intended to be dodged (move out of the way, teleport, go insubstnatial, etc.) Good luck with people figuring that one out.

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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Imperial528 » 2010-08-13 09:14pm

Oni Koneko Damien wrote:
Imperial528 wrote:Fairies and piss-poor werewolves versus Star Wars? No contest.


Whoa whoa whoa!

You leave fairies out of this, asshole! I will not have their good name sullied by association with a bunch of fruity, emo-tastic psuedo-vamps just because they have the shared trait of occasional sparkliness!


You're right. Fairies are better than them. Come to think of it, piss and dirt is too.

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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby j.eller » 2010-08-19 12:04pm

Imperial528 wrote:
Problems will arise for twilight from square one, mostly because of SW weapons: plasma. Plasma would easily set fire to a person or wolf, and that makes it worse for the "vampires" since according to the book cutting the "vampires" to pieces and/or burning them are the only ways to permanently kill them. (I got this information from a rather good video on youtube in which a few people destroy the book in the way described.)



I can't help but think that a lightsaber fills both roles of cutting and burning quite nicely XD
And another thing: all the Jedi would need to do is force choke or levitate the 'vampire' and they'd be helpless - if they're not in contact with the ground how are they gonna run or jump at ridiculous speeds, even assuming that they could (which I don't)

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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby lordofchange13 » 2010-08-19 02:00pm

What would realy happen is darth vader hears about the twilight vampire's, and he 'not being abille to stand anyone else being a bigger emo then him' sends in boba fett to kill them. Boba flyes over the rainy forest town in his slave one untill he sees edward talking about giting shiny in the sunlight jumps out of his ship, and blasts edward a fewtimes kill he's a soldering heap (if i remember right vampires in this universe only die from being burned) laughes out "total emo assholes". bella walkes "you just killed my totally not gay boyfriend, you whant to go out?" he stares at her for 5 secounds "HELL NO" and lights bella with his flamethrower.
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Swindle1984 » 2010-08-19 07:57pm

I keep holy water, a wooden stake, silver crucifix, and silver bullets from bulletforge.com on hand in case I run into supernatural douchebags of some sort.

And I agree, the vampires in Twilight aren't vampires, they're some sort of fae.
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby lord Martiya » 2010-08-20 03:20pm

Swindle1984 wrote:And I agree, the vampires in Twilight aren't vampires, they're some sort of fae.

I hope they're not even fae. I mean, if they were the other fairies would be really embarassed and pissed, and if ancient fairy lore taught something is that you do NOT provoke a fairy.

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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Oni Koneko Damien » 2010-08-20 09:30pm

Swindle1984 wrote:I keep holy water, a wooden stake, silver crucifix, and silver bullets from bulletforge.com on hand in case I run into supernatural douchebags of some sort.


If true, this is one of the lamest things I have ever heard.
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Oni Koneko Damien » 2010-08-20 09:42pm

You know, I've been thinking about it, it would almost make a lot more sense if Meyerpires were a type of fae, and it wouldn't really be a big slam against the fae. Taken certain folklore, fairies are portrayed as evil little bastards with no sense of empathy, who view humanity as little more than meatpuppets to entertain them.

Now stack that up against Meyerpires, in particular Edward:

- He glitters.
- He fucks with peoples' minds (glamour)
- He is supernaturally attractive.
- He is a demonstrated sociopath, time and again.
- His followers forgive even his greatest crimes, and he mocks them for it.

Edward is actually the spitting image of one of the Lords and Ladies. I'm tempted to say the entire Cullens family are a bunch of fae having the time of their lives fucking with this little town and laughing their asses off over the fact that people seem to think they're vampires.
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Sarevok » 2010-08-20 09:50pm

^^
Someone should write a fanfic about that.

Did I just suggest Twilight fanfic ?
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Re: Star Wars vs Twilight strange debates

Postby Oni Koneko Damien » 2010-08-20 09:54pm

Sarevok wrote:^^
Someone should write a fanfic about that.

Did I just suggest Twilight fanfic ?


I think it would be better classified as a Twilight-revamp/reimagined. And to be perfectly honest, my next big writing project will be taking Twilight, keeping the general plotline and characters, and altering everything else to see if I can transform it into something redeemable.
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Ephemeral Pie: Because not all role-playing has to be shallow.
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