Sci-fi lines that just hurt to listen to

[Junghalli]

Ok, you want another dumb line? "Ssssh!!! Lisssssooon!"

Ok, you need context for that one. It was Wing Commander the Movie where they reenacted Das Boot with Kilrathi destroyers depth-charging them. And they had to be quiet so the Kilrathi couldn't hear them on their space hydrophones.

Oh yeah that was hilarious.

[Batman]

Somebody apparently didn't get the point.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Space 1999 too much nuclear waste causes the moon to travel outside the solar system, at FTL speeds...

[Junghalli]

Somebody apparently didn't get the point.

To what does this refer?

[Freefall]

"An event was occurring that threatened the entire galaxy. A star was about to explode." - Spock, Star Trek 2009

Stars explode all the time. They're called supernovas. They don't destroy galaxies.

"The neutrinos have somehow mutated and are heating the earth's core!" - some guy from 2012

[Morbo voice] NEUTRINOS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! [/Morbo voice]

[Sea Skimmer]

"An event was occurring that threatened the entire galaxy. A star was about to explode." - Spock, Star Trek 2009

Umm, that line is dumb if taken literally but I'm pretty sure Spock meant the galaxy was at risk because of the destabilization and wars that would follow from the Romulans lashing out. Kind of like how Russia blowing up a US aircraft carrier would threaten the entire earth with nuclear war, even though the actual sinking doesn't affect anything but the men on the carrier directly.

[Metahive]

Actually Spock Prime meant that line literally, as in the resulting supernova would have eventually gobbled up the entire galaxy if he hadn't used the magical red matter to suck it into a black hole first. Yes, it's indeed as dumb as it sounds.

[Stofsk]

Can someone reproduce the script to provide context for that one line? Because SeaSkimmer's interpretation sounds reasonable.

EDIT While we're picking on Star Trek, let me provide that infamous line from a certain other franchise:

'It made the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs.'

[Metahive]

Transcribing from the movie:

SPOCK PRIME: "129 years from now a star will explode and threaten to destroy the galaxy"

Yeah, not very ambiguous.

[Stofsk]

Yeah fair enough.

[Sea Skimmer]

Actually Spock Prime meant that line literally, as in the resulting supernova would have eventually gobbled up the entire galaxy if he hadn't used the magical red matter to suck it into a black hole first. Yes, it's indeed as dumb as it sounds.

Wow, I only saw the movie once and that's way dumber then I thought, guess I just kind of rolled my eyes while the time traveling bit was being explained, it was a necessary but annoying step to take to have a die hard fan complaint resistant plot. I thought he was just late saving the one Romulan planet. Still it doesn't seem more offensive to the mind then say, the FTL mass evaporating superweapon in Star Trek Generations. For all we know whatever bullcrap makes time travel possible in Star Trek also can be eaten by stars giving them stupendous galaxy destroying firepower, the good thing is no attempt was made to explain it!

[Metahive]

Given all the funky physics in Star Trek I could buy an assymetrical gravity field around a black hole but this is just flat out lol.

It's actually presented as an honest-to-good literal crack that they shoot into the "event horizon" of the "quantum singularity" in the episode.



'cos as Neelis says, an event horizon is a really powerful energy field. Just like the horizon on Earth is, otherwise all the water would leak into the sky and that would be a bummer.

As a bonus, another Voyager classic, from the episode Learning Curve:

TORRES: "Get the cheese to sick bay!!!"

And yes, there's actually an article about cheese on Memory Alpha which references this episode. Wikis are weird.
http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Cheese

[Freefall]

Thanks Metahive. I knew I wasn't quoting exactly (only saw the movie once), but the sense was unmistakable in the theatre. It as a serious eyebrow raiser for me.

Oh, here's another;

"Borg queen."

Why oh why is Star Trek so easy to pick on?

[Metahive]

Umm, while I agree that introducing a Borg Queen was a wrong-headed move, citing stupid plot devices or twists isn't quite in the spirit of this thread, it should be actual lines containing wrongness or stupidity (or both) and ideally stick out even without knowing the context.

[adam_grif]

Re trek 2009:

If it was Romulous' star exploding, they would have had like under 10 minutes before the planet was destroyed. If it was not Romulus exploding, the explosion should have taken years to arrive. Kinda silly either way.

[Freefall]

Umm, while I agree that introducing a Borg Queen was a wrong-headed move, citing stupid plot devices or twists isn't quite in the spirit of this thread, it should be actual lines containing wrongness or stupidity (or both) and ideally stick out even without knowing the context.

Yeah, that just popped into my head at that point.

How about Sphere? These are just from memory, but I think they go something like:

"This species of snake is venomous enough to kill you in 20 seconds. But they're nocturnal. They're only dangerous at night." - said after pulling two obviously awake and moving venomous snakes off of Dustin Hoffman.

You know, it seems like there should be more from that movie, but I just can't think of any.

Going back to Star Trek, well, this one isn't exactly stupid either (especially given context), but it always made me smile, particularly with the straight delivery Gates McFadden gave it;

"If there's nothing wrong with me, maybe there's something wrong with the universe." - Dr. Crusher

[Metahive]

Here:

BETH: "They're Belcher's sea snakes, Norman They're the most poisonous snakes in the world, but they're nocturnal. They're only dangerous at night."

So, what this without doubt very educated person wants to say is that eating those snakes at night should be avoided under all circumstances. What, are those some sort of reverse-moguai snakes?

Here's a link to the full script if you wish to browse:

http://sfy.ru/?script=sphere_final

[jollyreaper]

"An event was occurring that threatened the entire galaxy. A star was about to explode." - Spock, Star Trek 2009

It's every bit as dangerous as he said. JJ Abrams was planning to use that exploding star as a pretext for his new Star Trek reboot.

[jollyreaper]

Actually Spock Prime meant that line literally, as in the resulting supernova would have eventually gobbled up the entire galaxy if he hadn't used the magical red matter to suck it into a black hole first. Yes, it's indeed as dumb as it sounds.

Wow, I only saw the movie once and that's way dumber then I thought, guess I just kind of rolled my eyes while the time traveling bit was being explained, it was a necessary but annoying step to take to have a die hard fan complaint resistant plot. I thought he was just late saving the one Romulan planet. Still it doesn't seem more offensive to the mind then say, the FTL mass evaporating superweapon in Star Trek Generations. For all we know whatever bullcrap makes time travel possible in Star Trek also can be eaten by stars giving them stupendous galaxy destroying firepower, the good thing is no attempt was made to explain it!

The Nero motivation was even dumber than the nova. If he's back in time, he could travel to the Feddies, show some advanced tech and drop a few lines of future history that's about to happen to establish his bona fides, then as for assistance evacuating his people a few centuries early. His wife isn't dead, she's never been born. And he's the savior of his people. It's not like blowing up his planet in the future erases it through the entire timeline.

The only thing that could have been dumber is if Nero was handcuffed to a pipe and one of his men tossed him a hacksaw so he could get free. Five minutes later they come back and he's grasping a bleeding stump, severed hand on the floor.

"What the fuck just happened?"

"You gave me the hacksaw. I cut myself free."

"Yeah, but you were supposed to cut the chain!"

"Oh. You know, that does make more sense."

[Kristoff]

"The neutrinos have somehow mutated and are heating the earth's core!" - some guy from 2012

In his last DVD Dara O'Briain has proposed two equally ridiculous substitutions:
"The electrons ... are angry!"
and
"The light from the sun... *snif snif* it's gone off..."

And one that in his opinion would make the movie better - "The Latinos have mutated and are heating up the planet!"

[TOSDOC]

The Black Hole: Dr. Kate MacRae talking about her ship's mission, "Searching for habitable life."

Either she meant habitable planets, or the humans of the future have adapted themselves to living the life of fleas on gigantic aliens.

[FSTargetDrone]

"Flying through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy!"

I'm not sure why it hurts to listen to it, but I can't watch that without going 'ugh' a bit. Maybe it was one of those things Harrison Ford didn't really want to say and it showed? It just didn't come out well.

Sciencey too that exchange is a bit of a bother. Really, what are the odds of actually bouncing off a star? But you can pretend hyperspace works that way and its ok. The line itself though, ugh.

Remember, he's trying to impress a farm boy.

[Sea Skimmer]

The Nero motivation was even dumber than the nova. If he's back in time, he could travel to the Feddies, show some advanced tech and drop a few lines of future history that's about to happen to establish his bona fides, then as for assistance evacuating his people a few centuries early. His wife isn't dead, she's never been born. And he's the savior of his people. It's not like blowing up his planet in the future erases it through the entire timeline.

Going back in time put Nero in a different timeline. He could save his wife in the new time line but she's already dead in the old one, and since the new time line is different he has no way of knowing if she will even exist hundreds of years later when he'd already be dead anyway.

The only thing that could have been dumber is if Nero was handcuffed to a pipe and one of his men tossed him a hacksaw so he could get free. Five minutes later they come back and he's grasping a bleeding stump, severed hand on the floor.

"What the fuck just happened?"

"You gave me the hacksaw. I cut myself free."

"Yeah, but you were supposed to cut the chain!"

"Oh. You know, that does make more sense."

You realize most handcuffs are made of steel too hard to go through with a single hacksaw blade right? Hacksaws will not just cut through anything.

[The Yosemite Bear]

I can't remember how many small hacksaw blades and dremmel disks I've broken just doing 40k.

[Junghalli]

The Black Hole: Dr. Kate MacRae talking about her ship's mission, "Searching for habitable life."

Either she meant habitable planets, or the humans of the future have adapted themselves to living the life of fleas on gigantic aliens.

It might make some sense in the context of habitable planets, since it'd be pretty easy to imagine planets that have life but aren't habitable to humans. It could have referred to life with compatible biochemistry.