Darth Vader vs 5000 monkeys

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2002-08-30 04:33am

Vader has his saber, but all 5000 monkeys have rusty butcher knives, are full of PCP, and think Vader is a giant bananna. Discuss.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2002-08-30 10:39am

two words: Monkey Burgers

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-08-30 11:51am

Even better: System Shock 2 monkeys.

5000 SS2 monkeys vs Vader.

I'll give it to the monkeys.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-08-30 01:02pm

The monkeys all start throwing crap at Vader. Vader uses his lightsaber to deflect the crap back at the monkeys.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-08-30 01:58pm

Vader wins unless of course those monkeys are Dave's specially trained rabid battle monkeys (TM) from the depth of his monkey pit.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2002-08-30 02:02pm

Cpt_Frank wrote:Vader wins unless of course those monkeys are Dave's specially trained rabid battle monkeys (TM) from the depth of his monkey pit.

So THOSE were the monkeys that attacked me...DAMN YOU DAVE!!!

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2002-08-30 03:25pm

i would say that vadar is able to make all the monkeys think they each one of them is a bananna and they all end up trying to eat one another... vadar wins

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2002-08-30 04:06pm

Monkeys attack group of "red shirts" behind Vader that just beamed in.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » 2002-08-30 05:05pm

To answer this question it depends on how powerful the Jedi are. If you used the examples of the force that GL has given us, eventually all of the weight of the monkeys will crush Darth Vader after a lot of monkeys are sliced in half. If we use Kevin J. Anderson's version of the force, Darth Vader will hold out his hands and blow all of the monkeys away (reference Dark Saber, you all know what I am talking about, right?) If we use Timothy Zahn's viewpoint of the force, all of the monkeys have force blocking powers that will negate Darth Vader's force skills. DV lasts one minute at most.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-08-31 01:11am

Vader would probably use the force to keep them away, and then slay them all. If they were David's Rabid Killer Monkeys, they could win if they all attack at once.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-08-31 04:28am

However, I doubt Dave has 5000 rabid battle monkeys at his disposal.
They require an awful lot of training and such, he won't have much more than a few hundred at most.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-31 08:36am

If we use Timothy Zahn's viewpoint of the force, all of the monkeys have force blocking powers that will negate Darth Vader's force skills. DV lasts one minute at most.

When you say dumb things people call you an idiot its a well know fact amoung non-idiots

This board happens to be increabily Pro Zahn-Crisitism him at your own risk, Infact the best SW writer poll awhile back turned in a result of 49-0-0-0 for Zahn(Stackpole, KJA, and AA where the other three writers), considering we have 52 memebers thats saying somthing

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2002-08-31 08:55am

Have you guys ever *seen* an angry monkey? And I'm not talking about lemurs, here, I'm talking about Chimps and 'tangs. Vader would account for himself well, but he's not going to take out 5000 angry, drugged up monkeys.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-08-31 09:04am

The moneys dead unless they're Dave's monkeys. Even with the vast numerical advantadge a standard monkey is nothing compared to the Dark Side of the force.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2002-08-31 11:46am

Vader would use the Force to summon 5000 typewrites, the monkeys would then begin to write the works of Shakespear (Bean

) while DV escapes.

If they were Daves rabid battle monkeys, they would too smart and well trained to write with the type writers. No they would instead hurl them at the Sith lord until he was bludgeoned to death by them.

So it depends on the monkey, I guess.

David · Post by **David** » 2002-08-31 11:57pm

Cpt_Frank wrote:However, I doubt Dave has 5000 rabid battle monkeys at his disposal.
They require an awful lot of training and such, he won't have much more than a few hundred at most.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-09-01 05:07am

Btw Dave good you returned to that avatar that was the best one you've had so far.
So, how many mokeys do you have? How much time do you spend training them?
And if you have trained several, can they train other moneys too (which in turn will later train further ones)?

FireNexus · Post by **FireNexus** » 2002-09-01 06:32am

It is also important to know exactly how much PCP is in each monkey. At medium plateaus, PCP can make you very aggressive and erratic, but the more PCP you take, the more dissociated and ineffectual you become.

I say 5,000 monkeys win, though. Vader's a tough dude, and would take a good number with him, but he isn't a God.

David · Post by **David** » 2002-09-01 02:55pm

The number of monkeys I have can best be explained by the equation ~

12^33 x 4566 = 535 ( pi5322)/0

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2002-09-02 10:14am

Commander LeoRo wrote:To answer this question it depends on how powerful the Jedi are. If you used the examples of the force that GL has given us, eventually all of the weight of the monkeys will crush Darth Vader after a lot of monkeys are sliced in half. If we use Kevin J. Anderson's version of the force, Darth Vader will hold out his hands and blow all of the monkeys away (reference Dark Saber, you all know what I am talking about, right?) If we use Timothy Zahn's viewpoint of the force, all of the monkeys have force blocking powers that will negate Darth Vader's force skills. DV lasts one minute at most.

Hey welcome to the board! Beware; don't bash Zahn here,

it's not a smart move.

I know you might have said it as a joke but just in case I will let you in on a little secret....

Zahn's invention of the yslamari, wasn't to stop 'the superman effect', he did that with Luke always wondering how far he could go, and if he was up to training Leia and her children as well as Yoda and thus not make Obi-Wan's mistake. Also C'boath was Luke's foil in the piece making it impossible for 'the superman effect' to take hold.

The yslamari were created for Thrawn's ultimate bid for power, they served that purpose. Thrawn's victory depended on it. Unfortunately other EU writers have just killed it to death.