Best "total bastard" of comics

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-01-30 06:05am

this can be a villian, or an anti-hero.

the coldest, cool as a cucumber, asshole who embodies "Total Bastard-dom" in comics

The bear's nominations
Ozymandius (The Watchmen, what's a few million people, my pet cat, and my best friends to save humanity)

John Constintine (Swampthing, Sandman, Books of magic), let's face it he's a jerk.

Cassiday (Preacher, Hi I'm an Irish vampire, drunk/former terrorist)

Peter Wisdom (graduate of the John Constintine school of scummy occult anti-heroes, mutant who used to be part of the govenment mutant killer team, also boinker of borderline jailbait Kitty Pryde)

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-01-30 08:57am

Constantine.

He's banged multiple women, made deals with devils so he could keep on smoking, and is looked up by the new Merlin as the *cool* guy.

LobsterZoidberg · Post by **LobsterZoidberg** » 2004-01-30 12:12pm

No Spider Jerusalem? Bah.

A Hunter S. Thompson style journalist armed with futuristic weaponry gets my vote. When your standard interview process involves using a bowel disruptor set for "gut horror" on your subject's guards, I think that counts for something

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2004-01-30 12:39pm

DAMMIT! How many times must we go through with this?!

Thanos w/ infinity gauntlet!!!

*snap* Half the universe DEAD. women children, dogs, cats, koalas, wallabies, duck-billed platypi, humans, Deadites, fish, birds, whales, elephants, girraffes, swallows, Xindi, Klingon, viruses, bacteria, roaches, rats, mice, cows, chickens, foxes, sloths, elephants, lions, tigers and *yes* even bears, oh my. A bigger asshole I could not imagine, especially given that he did it for some bony, rotten coochie he would never put his purple dick in.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-01-30 12:47pm

Guy Gardner, one of the lanterns with the funky yellow ring. major prick for being one of the guardians of the galaxy. though he did get dismissed from the corps as well i think.

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2004-01-30 02:24pm

Alan Moore's version of the Joker. From "The Killing Joke," one of the best comics I've ever read.

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2004-01-30 05:13pm

The Main Man himself, Lobo.

Khemri · Post by **Khemri** » 2004-01-30 06:19pm

Ghost Rider wrote:Constantine.

He's banged multiple women, made deals with devils so he could keep on smoking, and is looked up by the new Merlin as the *cool* guy.

That's what makes him cool.

and selling his soul to two arch devils and dishonering thus making his soul Lucifer's(not the real one it seems) not only allowed him to keep smoking, but effectivly made him pretty resistant to harm.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-01-30 08:04pm

So you thank Zazzanna is ever going to kick his ass for getting her dad killed, and leaving her after he banged her?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-01-30 08:07pm

I never liked Guy Gardner, either, and I've only read him around the Death o Superman/Return of the Supermen arcs.

Fucking asshole...

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-01-30 08:10pm

The Yosemite Bear wrote:So you thank Zazzanna is ever going to kick his ass for getting her dad killed, and leaving her after he banged her?

Zatanna?

Nah, she still has a soft spot for him....proving he must be truly something else in the sack.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-01-30 08:13pm

what can we say about a chick who talks backwards....

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-01-30 08:14pm

The Yosemite Bear wrote:what can we say about a chick who talks backwards....

And don't forget fishnets.

Seriously what makes her and Black Canary so damn sexy.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-01-31 03:50am

yeah, Wonder Woman would you mind bailing out Black Canary and Zatannna....

They got picked up AGAIN!

geeze can't a superheroine walk down the streat in black fishnets, and a coustome which leave little to the imagination without getting harrassed by the police.....

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2004-01-31 06:36am

Hmmmm, the Comedian, Frank Castle and the Russian should get honourable mentions too.

I mean the Punisher, he just really really really hates them doesn't he? Though he's quite nioce to the innocent, and doesn't go overboard with people who slightly go over the line.

The Comedian's just unsettling.

The Russian...well...

SAMAS · Post by **SAMAS** » 2004-01-31 06:47pm

Ghost Rider wrote:
The Yosemite Bear wrote:what can we say about a chick who talks backwards....
And don't forget fishnets.

Seriously what makes her and Black Canary so damn sexy.

B:TAS Zatanna: "And what would you want with a leggy brunette in nylons? or did I just answer my own question?"

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2004-01-31 07:20pm

Dark Schneider. End of story.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-01-31 08:46pm

Carnage gets points I think for being one of the most psycotic and evil guys. The only thing that keeped him from pulling off wiping out half the galaxy's population was that he isn't powerful enough.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2004-01-31 08:50pm

Captain_Cyran wrote:Carnage gets points I think for being one of the most psycotic and evil guys. The only thing that keeped him from pulling off wiping out half the galaxy's population was that he isn't powerful enough.

......Hmm. Good one. Carnage with infinity gauntlet. He wouldn't be trying to impress lady death, either..just pure malice. I can imagine him skipping down the street like a happy schoolgirl, tapping people at random on the shoulder and going

*dead, dead, dead, dead dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.*

Hey you!

"Who me?"

"Yeah! DEAD."

"ugh" *plop*

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-01-31 08:54pm

Chardok wrote:
Captain_Cyran wrote:Carnage gets points I think for being one of the most psycotic and evil guys. The only thing that keeped him from pulling off wiping out half the galaxy's population was that he isn't powerful enough.
......Hmm. Good one. Carnage with infinity gauntlet. He wouldn't be trying to impress lady death, either..just pure malice. I can imagine him skipping down the street like a happy schoolgirl, tapping people at random on the shoulder and going

*dead, dead, dead, dead dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.*

Hey you!

"Who me?"

"Yeah! DEAD."

"ugh" *plop*

That's another thing, he wouldn't snap his fingers and kill off all those people... oh no, he'd do it personally.

Vendetta · Post by **Vendetta** » 2004-01-31 10:37pm

See, the difference between these minnows and Spider Jerusalem?

He wouldn't stop at half, he hates everybody.

And, as he will tell you, being a Bastard works.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-01-31 10:43pm

Vendetta wrote:See, the difference between these minnows and Spider Jerusalem?

He wouldn't stop at half, he hates everybody.

And, as he will tell you, being a Bastard works.

Errr... Carnage wouldn't stop either... He'd kill everybody, personally, and slowly.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-02-01 03:06am

And since he has the time gem, it would only take him an eternity, but that's just half a second to you and me.