The Culture vs Cthulhu

BlkbrryTheGreat · Post by **BlkbrryTheGreat** » 2003-11-16 03:25am

Seeing as how, from what I know of them, they are polar opposites, who wins and why?

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-11-16 11:05am

Depends on whether or not Minds are affected by Cthulhus' insanity inducing prescence.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-11-16 11:09am

DPDarkPrimus wrote:Depends on whether or not Minds are affected by Cthulhus' insanity inducing prescence.

Well... as I understand it, Cthulhu causes people to go insane by causing them to suddenly realize just hwo little they matter in the order of things. A Culture mind woudl already comprehend that, and just downright wouldn't care, so I'm not sure it would.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-11-16 12:07pm

I thought they went insane because they were suddenly confronted with a 5-10 story tall demon who was hell bent on destroying the human race, but then that's just my take.
Either way Gridfire wins.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-11-16 02:47pm

The body is destroyed, but the spirit lives on....

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-11-16 05:05pm

The spirit gets to deal with the culture drone that sublimed shortly there after.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-11-16 05:30pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:The body is destroyed, but the spirit lives on....

Don't know about that. Was Cthulhu just a priest who happend to get some power form the Gods, or was he an actual Elder Thing?

Tatterdemalion · Post by **Tatterdemalion** » 2003-11-16 06:08pm

If Cthulhu only rises when the stars are right, then the Culture only has to do some creative demolition work on the right solar systems. Chalk this up as a win for the Culture.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-11-16 06:16pm

Tatterdemalion wrote:If Cthulhu only rises when the stars are right, then the Culture only has to do some creative demolition work on the right solar systems. Chalk this up as a win for the Culture.

Bah, I can see the mythos being a good diplomacy scheme in the future.

"Join us... or we feed you to a giant squid head monster after you're mind is broken."

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-11-16 06:35pm

Cthuluhu gets hired for something by SC...

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-11-17 04:25pm

NecronLord wrote:Cthuluhu gets hired for something by SC...

ACtually... I can see that... *begins considering warped and demented fanfics...*

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-11-17 04:44pm

But what could the Culture possibly offer Cthulhu that would pursuade it to work for them? (Please assume that they would actually have to fulfill their offer.)

Smiling Bandit · Post by **Smiling Bandit** » 2003-11-18 09:00am

Don't know about that. Was Cthulhu just a priest who happend to get some power form the Gods, or was he an actual Elder Thing?

A little of both, actually. He is an evil Elder Thing, but he's also an evil high priest.

But what could the Culture possibly offer Cthulhu that would pursuade it to work for them? (Please assume that they would actually have to fulfill their offer.)

Obviously, Cthuhlu is in desperate need of a hug. He must have had a very bad childhood, so we're going to help him get his life back in order, start a vegetarian diet, and pay for weekly psychotherapy.

BlkbrryTheGreat · Post by **BlkbrryTheGreat** » 2003-11-18 04:08pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:But what could the Culture possibly offer Cthulhu that would pursuade it to work for them? (Please assume that they would actually have to fulfill their offer.)

Survival....

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-11-18 04:33pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:But what could the Culture possibly offer Cthulhu that would pursuade it to work for them? (Please assume that they would actually have to fulfill their offer.)

The souls of the damned!

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-11-18 06:00pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
DPDarkPrimus wrote:But what could the Culture possibly offer Cthulhu that would pursuade it to work for them? (Please assume that they would actually have to fulfill their offer.)
The souls of the damned!

That doesn't sound very ethical.

Post by **fgalkin** » 2003-11-18 06:41pm

NecronLord wrote:Cthuluhu gets hired for something by SC...

The new ambassador to the Affront?

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-11-18 06:51pm

fgalkin wrote:
NecronLord wrote:Cthuluhu gets hired for something by SC...
The new ambassador to the Affront?

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Well, that would remove problems with eating the weird food...

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-11-18 07:29pm

Cthulhu would probably fuck up a few culture vessels and eat a lot of people, but otherwise he's a minor irritation who can be blasted out of existance every now and then.

Nyarlathotep on the other hand would be a true challenge.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-11-18 07:46pm

weemadando wrote:Cthulhu would probably fuck up a few culture vessels and eat a lot of people, but otherwise he's a minor irritation who can be blasted out of existance every now and then.

Nyarlathotep on the other hand would be a true challenge.

Like I said, if he becomes a problem 5 or six humans and/or drones sublime and cluster fuck it.

The new ambassador to the Affront?

Lol, probably the best idea yet. Cthulhu might change sides though.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-11-18 08:06pm

What about THE COLOUR OF SPACE?!

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-11-18 08:08pm

SyntaxVorlon wrote:
weemadando wrote:Cthulhu would probably fuck up a few culture vessels and eat a lot of people, but otherwise he's a minor irritation who can be blasted out of existance every now and then.

Nyarlathotep on the other hand would be a true challenge.
Like I said, if he becomes a problem 5 or six humans and/or drones sublime and cluster fuck it.

Errrr... No. Cthulhu can be physically destroyed, but he reforms in a matter of minutes. Not really the best thing.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-11-18 08:10pm

weemadando wrote:
SyntaxVorlon wrote:
weemadando wrote:Cthulhu would probably fuck up a few culture vessels and eat a lot of people, but otherwise he's a minor irritation who can be blasted out of existance every now and then.

Nyarlathotep on the other hand would be a true challenge.
Like I said, if he becomes a problem 5 or six humans and/or drones sublime and cluster fuck it.
Errrr... No. Cthulhu can be physically destroyed, but he reforms in a matter of minutes. Not really the best thing.

That's why subliming is involved. When you can become a God, you can handle some uppity high priest.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-11-18 08:30pm

weemadando wrote:
SyntaxVorlon wrote:
weemadando wrote:Cthulhu would probably fuck up a few culture vessels and eat a lot of people, but otherwise he's a minor irritation who can be blasted out of existance every now and then.

Nyarlathotep on the other hand would be a true challenge.
Like I said, if he becomes a problem 5 or six humans and/or drones sublime and cluster fuck it.
Errrr... No. Cthulhu can be physically destroyed, but he reforms in a matter of minutes. Not really the best thing.

Errr... No. To give an explanation of the Sublimed, a spiecies that the Culture were dealing with had a small portion of their race sublime for what seemed like no apparent reason. It was soon discovered, that these Sublimed had created an entire Afterlife for their (original?) spiecies. Subliming is often refered to as the "Hit the fuck-it-all button" (IIRC, paraphrased quote. Excession I think, when a drone (Chrut Lyn, IIRC) is explaining the history of the Affront. Their nearest neighbors sublimed, and I think she described it as such, adding that it was quite a rude thing to do, although it may have been when the Affront ambassador was talking with the sublimer cultists)