You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

FAN: Discuss various fictional worlds that don't qualify for SF.

Moderator: Steve

User avatar
U.P. Cinnabar
Sith Marauder
Posts: 3662
Joined: 2016-02-05 08:11pm
Location: Aboard the RCS Princess Cecile

Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2017-12-28 12:46pm

Eternal_Freedom wrote:
2017-12-26 12:37pm
Neither, it's the Sword in the Stone, not Excalibur, they're different weapons.
Oh. I suppose I just take it home then. Less of a find than an intact book of Brehon law.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

User avatar
Gandalf White Wizard
Posts: 14626
Joined: 2002-09-16 11:13pm
Location: A video store in Sydney, Australia

Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Gandalf » 2017-12-29 11:11am

If I actually get to the throne, I claim it in the name of the Indigenous Peoples of Australia.

Then I'll get Briggs to read this on the BBC:


“I Burnum Burnum, being a nobleman of ancient Australia do hereby take possession of England on behalf of the Aboriginal People.

In claiming this colonial outpost, we wish no harm to you natives, but assure you that we are here to bring you good manners, refinement and an opportunity to make a Koopartoo – “a fresh start.”

Henceforth, an Aboriginal face shall appear on your coins and stamps to signify our sovereignty over this domain.

For the more advanced, we bring the complex language of the Pitjantjajara; we will teach you how to have a spiritual relationship with the Earth and show you how to get bush tucker.

We do not intend to souvenir, pickle and preserve the heads of 2,000 of your people, nor to publicly display the skeletal remains of your Royal Highness, as was done to our Queen Truganinni for 80 years. Neither do we intend to poison your waterholes, lace your flour with strychnine or introduce you to highly toxic drugs.

Based on our 50,000 year heritage, we acknowledge the need to preserve the Caucasian race as of interest to antiquity, although we may be inclined to conduct experiments by measuring the size of your skulls for levels of intelligence. We pledge not to sterilize your women, not to separate your children from their families.

We give an absolute undertaking that you shall not be placed into the mentality of government handouts for the next five generations but you will enjoy the full benefits of Aboriginal equality.

At the end of two hundred years, we will make a Treaty to validate occupation by peaceful means and not by conquest.

Finally, we solemnly promise not to make a quarry of England and export your valuable minerals back to the old country Australia, and we vow never to destroy three-quarters of your trees, but to encourage Earth Repair Action to unite people, communities, religions and nations in a common, productive, peaceful purpose.

Signed – Burnum Burnum”
From there, who knows.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"

- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin

Emperor's Hand
Posts: 30114
Joined: 2009-05-23 07:29pm

Re: You find the Sword in the Stone (RAR)

Post by Simon_Jester » 2017-12-29 12:15pm


There have been times in the past when I did not like Gandalf, for one reason or another. Nothing relevant or for that matter memorable, but I just wanted to mention it to add context when I say...

Today, I like Gandalf. :D
This space dedicated to Vasily Arkhipov

Post Reply