You get a year's "Vacation" in the Discworld! (RAR?)

[Crossroads Inc.]

SO! Q in his devious way has teleported you into the middle of the Discworld into the middle of the great city of Ankh-Morpork. You have been teleported at a point of time just a year before the events in the newest book Raising Steam (Mostly because not everyones read the book yet)
Your "Mission" is simply to survive for a Single year.
At the end of that year, your "reward" will be to take with you any trinkets you can carry that you obtained during your stay.

Now you will not be sent unprepared on this trip…
Q has been merciful and you arrive with a leather ruck sack that contains the following:
1: One "Emergency" wrist watch, contains a small button that, should you feel in mortal danger, or simply wish to chicken out, you can press the button and return home instantly to the time point you left.
2: Six Hundred "Ankh-Morpork" dollars. 550 of these in new Paper Notes, and 50 in single dollar coins. (for an idea of the rate of usage, in one book it was said, a person could live "quite comfortable" on just 30$ a month)
3: One Icongraph With one weeks worth of paint.
4: One Highly accurate map of the Discworld as well as one Magical map of the city That can show the location of any shop or service that is asked of it.
5: One chity with a years of "protection" against the Guild of Thieves (some restrictions may apply)
6: One "Magically powered" Laptop with 20Gigabytes of memory, unfortunately no internet access (it is also protected from harm or theft. Only you can turn the device on, and if seen by someone else, it will appear as a simple book of equal size.)

SO!!!
You have quite a host of items to service and aide in your stay.
You do not need to stay in the city of Ankh, but have the whole of the Discworld to explore during your years stay.
What shall YOU do?

[Batman]

Given that Ankh-Morpork already has me (and, after a fashion, Clark) in the form of Vimes and Carrot I press the button in the secure knowledge that the city is already in good hands.

[Zixinus]

Go see a good local witch and ask for advice.
Among other things, what sort of work can I qualify to take on, especially aided by the laptop. They are usually pretty good with that stuff and wouldn't be overtly shocked by the whole "from another universe" thing. Also, maybe what sort of items would be worthwhile transporting back to the Discworld. Oh, and how to avoid the local dangers (that the books forgot to mention) and where to find good place to stay until I figure myself out.

What? Witches, as far as I can figure out, are there for these sort of things in the Discworld. They deal with the everyday supernatural stuff. I qualify.

As for traveling outside of Anhk-Morpork, I have no idea. As we are before Raising Steam, travel is more dangerous due to the lack of trains. Though I might still try because I dislike crowded cities.

XXXX sounds interesting and I am curious what Australia is like (well, the Disc's version of it anyway).

Maybe get myself one of those less-chatty magic swords. I always wanted one and they might give me a good protection for when I'm traveling about. Will be curious how they'll work in my world if I make it that long.

[bilateralrope]

Going to a Witch could be helpful. But they might give you the most practical piece of advice there is: Push the button, go home where it's safe.

[Zixinus]

Considering I am in Ankh-Morpork with a Thief-guild chitty, I should be fairly safe in as long as I don't do something stupid (like start a fight with a troll or with anyone really). Especially with the now-strong City Watch.
I just have to learn what "something stupid" would mean that isn't obvious to me. Once then I'd be about as safe as if I were home.

If Twoflower could tour the city (when it was at a much worse time) with utter cluelesness, I should be fairly fine.

And if a witch advises the button, I'd point out that it's good for an individual to broaden their horizons and I can press the button at any time (well, almost). Witches visit and broaden their horizons all the time.

[Crazedwraith]

Safe answer: I push that button before narrativium takes hold and I get involved in wacky hijinks. This is the discworld wacky hijinks will always ensue. (though you never know push the button and wacky hijinks may follow you home)

[Purple]

First buy a knife. A good sharp one that can slice someones arm clean off. Next I would find a nice cafe to sit in. Something pleasant with decent music and maybe a panoramic view. I would order tea for two and sit. Once the tea arrives, proceed to use my knife in order to meet with the one I admire most. Death.

[Mr Bean]

First buy a knife. A good sharp one that can slice someones arm clean off. Next I would find a nice cafe to sit in. Something pleasant with decent music and maybe a panoramic view. I would order tea for two and sit. Once the tea arrives, proceed to use my knife in order to meet with the one I admire most. Death.

I assume the knife is for getting the 4cc of mouse blood. The Rite of AshkEnte only requires three small sticks and the 4cc of mouse blood. Or a small egg and two sticks.

[Enigma]

1) Secure lodgings.
2) Find a decent weapon. Nothing big, nothing fancy. A plain sharp knife and a sharpening stone.
3) Tour the city and inquire about a decent and affordable place to eat. Obviously avoid eating anything from Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, unless he learned to actually cook good food in the later novels. Doubt it.
4) Once I'm bored of the city, I'd probably check the surroundings.
5) Either I get bored and press the button or I'd wait the year out and head home.

Basically, I'd be an armed tourist.

[Purple]

First buy a knife. A good sharp one that can slice someones arm clean off. Next I would find a nice cafe to sit in. Something pleasant with decent music and maybe a panoramic view. I would order tea for two and sit. Once the tea arrives, proceed to use my knife in order to meet with the one I admire most. Death.

I assume the knife is for getting the 4cc of mouse blood. The Rite of AshkEnte only requires three small sticks and the 4cc of mouse blood. Or a small egg and two sticks.

I am not that much of a Pratchett fan to know what you are talking about. Only like read one of his books (Mort) and watched that one Hogfather movie. But dam, am I a fan of the reaper. So the knife I figured was for some creative suicide method. Like say stabbing my self until dead.

It's not like it's something I wouldn't do anyway one of these days. Might as well make the best of it.

[Crossroads Inc.]

1) Secure lodgings.
2) Find a decent weapon. Nothing big, nothing fancy. A plain sharp knife and a sharpening stone.
3) Tour the city and inquire about a decent and affordable place to eat. Obviously avoid eating anything from Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, unless he learned to actually cook good food in the later novels. Doubt it.
4) Once I'm bored of the city, I'd probably check the surroundings.
5) Either I get bored and press the button or I'd wait the year out and head home.

Basically, I'd be an armed tourist.

Probably the best route to go Although not sure I'd feel at home with a Knife...

Also, as an amendment, I think I'd change the time scale to just AFTER "Raising Steam" instead of before. I was thinking not everyone may have read the book... But then again if your IN this thread, you probably have