We try to kill SCP-682...

[SpaceMarine93]

What if you have a large lizard like creature, which have super-strength, speed, reflexes, nigh-invulnerability via an insanely adaptive regeneration factor, and absolutely hates Every Single Lifeform on the face of the Earth?

You get SCP-682

In the Lovecraftian and terrifying universe that the SCP foundation is set in, of all the eldritch, utterly dangerous and just-plain-wrong horrors, creatures, objects, artifacts and other memorabilia that the SCP Foundation attempts to secure, contain and protect Humanity from, none other is far more threatening and dangerous than the creature designated SCP-682.

To clarify, it is a large, vaguely reptile-like creature of unknown origin. It appears to be extremely intelligent, and above all extremely resilient to almost any form of damage. Its physical body grows and changes very quickly, growing or decreasing in size at it consumes or sheds material. SCP-682 gains energy from anything it ingests, organic or inorganic. SCP-682's regenerative capabilities are staggering, as is its ability to change its body and adapt to anything thrown at it, and it is so resilient SCP-682 has been "seen moving and speaking with its body 87% destroyed or rotted.", and much more. The creature had to be contained in a bath of very corrotive acid just to prevent it from escaping, and it had yet to die from it.

What made it so incredibly dangerous is that this thing absolutely hates every single creature on Earth, and desires nothing more than to kill all humans, every single last one of them. Apparently everything alive on Earth (with a few exceptions) is so horribly, gut-wrenchingly disgusting and wrong that SCP-682 can't help reacting by trying to make us all stop existing ASAP. And since it is nigh-invulnerable, if it had its way it would meant the end of the world.

The SCP foundation had tried everything to remove the monster from existence, throwing everything they had, including many of the most deadliest and dangerous SCP monsters and artifacts they collected, to try and kill it, without success. So here's the game: Can YOU think of a method to destroy it?

Rules:

- Propose any way to kill, neutralize or permenantly contain this thing, ANY POSSIBLE WAY. Preferably something that could be found in real life now or the near future, but feel free to try anything. Start your proposal with "Test:".

- Feel free to browse the SCP Foundation website and use any SCPs you like to kill it.

- If a previous entry proposed a method to kill it, try pointing out how SCP-682 may be able to counter it. Write it as "Result:".

- For bonus, propose more than one idea, make it as awesome as realistically possible and add funny comments by faux SCP researchers after it.

For more information:

The SCP Foundation and all its horrors - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/

SCP-682 - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-682

SCP-682 termination log - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/experiment- ... -oc108-682

My proposal:

Test - Drop a few grams of antimatter in a Penning Trap container, produced at CERN and delivered via a scud missile, directly onto SCP 682, after an attack with laser beams from several modified Boeing YAL-1 planes and bombardment with every type of biochemical weapon ever invented. The idea is to destroy as much of the creature as possible, overtax the regeneration system and guiding its adaptation to desirable directions before the anti-matter coup-de-grace.

[Nephtys]

The entire point of SCP-682 is that it can't be killed. Uninteresting topic.

I'd rather be more interested in economical containment methods for SCP-173. Or what you'd use SCP-914 for.

[SilverWingedSeraph]

Black hole. Neutron star. REGULAR star. You know, something with huge amounts of gravity that outputs massive amounts of energy. Sure, you either need to move one of those things to Earth or move it to one of those things, and that is a problem, certainly. But if that doesn't kill him, fuck knows what will.

Or just some of the other SCPs, some of which are just as or more obscene in one way or another, and just too lazy, malevolent, bored to try killing it or to care. Ideally, throw it in a room with SCP-073 and let it tear itself to death. Probably wouldn't actually kill it, but would be hilarious.

[Mr Bean]

SCP is modeled on Wolverine at his most wankish if I remember my internet history. Simple idea, what if we took Wolverine, but made him a monster who hated all humans and liked to eat his prey alive. At his most wankish Wolverine was unkillable as is SCP 682. That's the whole point is to create a unkillable monster than can only be contained and not destroyed, remove that aspect and it's just a big lizard who likes killing people. Per SCP history the've tried everything from all conventional methods (Burning, shooting, poisoning, radiation) to shooting it into the sun or dumping it into deep space or an alternate dimension and it keeps ending up back on earth. The point of 682 is of the unkillable boogyman.

OAN thank you at least for reminding me of the SCP website, had a lot of fun reading the SCP entries of people at least as deranged as Eric Cartman of horrible ways to die via unknow methods. I've always thought the SCP idea would be a ready made horror style X-files show because of the Classes, Agents, Doctors and Administrators setup. Might make that into it's own topic.

[SpaceMarine93]

This thread was intended for the lolz...

[Eternal_Freedom]

This thread was intended for the lolz...

Well, I geuss you're just not funny.

[SilverWingedSeraph]

Well, I geuss you're just not funny.

This.

The Experiment Logs of the numerous attempts to kill 682 are fantastic, though. Especially the one involving SCP-826 and a 12-page story entitled "The Generally Nice, Friendly Thing That Can And Will Kill SCP-682 Permanently if it So Much As Spots That Damn Lizard." That's my favourite one so far.

[mr friendly guy]

If the method doesn't have to be found in real life(only that its desirable to be found in real life), then whats to stop some wise guy coming with things like
Swords to plowshares, demat gun, lots of spheres of annihilation,time manipulation which causes it to age or grow younger (seen in things like Doctor Who), or singularity weapons (eg Andromeda, Doctor Who etc).

[SilverWingedSeraph]

Well, in the SCP universe, they've tried almost everything to stop it, short of feeding it into one SCP that's thousands of times denser than a black hole, and they didn't attempt that one because they were worried it would make it even stronger. It seems most attempts to kill it in any manner only partially destroy it, and then usually it adapts to whatever was being used against it and sometimes mimics the effects as well.

Any attempts to send it into another dimension have resulted in it eventually returning after what seemed like a success.

And then they shoved him in a box wherein the fundamental constants such as the gravitational constant, the speed of light, Theta, Lambda, etc can be altered. And despite twisting and turning the nobs and dials in ways that would make anything else disintegrate, turn into a black hole, explode into ions, etc, it still survived. It is basically a walking, talking, murdering no-limits fallacy, which is why this thread is so pointless.

[lordofchange13]

Because of the serious nature of this thread there are 3 possible ways to destroy the creature:Chuck Norris, Timelords, and Black Alice.

[Anarchist Bunny]

Because of the serious nature of this thread there are 3 possible ways to destroy the creature:Chuck Norris, Timelords, and Black Alice.

Don't forget Super Sayjin 2 Gohan.

[Chirios]

Introduce it to Dr Clefs proposal for SCP-001.
Let Abel loose into it's cage at the same time as letting Cain loose into its cage.

[Chirios]

Missed the edit window: introduce it to SCP-002.

[Simon_Jester]

Now, being able to laugh off SCP-536 is just cheating. Hmph.

[The Vortex Empire]

Why not show it a photo of SCP-096? There's no way to kill 682, but this'll at least be a good fight.

[Simon_Jester]

They tried that.

Termination Test Record:
Containment tank containing SCP-096 was placed in SCP-682's cell. Personnel vacated vicinity and the tank was opened remotely.

Screams of the two entities continue for twenty-seven (27) hours, at which point the noise abruptly stops. Sonar-based video feeds reveal SCP-096 severely "wounded" and huddled in the southwest corner, apparently upset. Feed shows SCP-682 on the north end of the room, approximately 85% of its initial mass absent. Re-containment teams retrieve both entities with relative ease.

Further attempts to expose SCP-096 to SCP-682 cause it to turn away from 682, jumping in place while clawing at its face and screaming.

[Chirios]

They could try the book thing again, except with better wording this time.

The problem with the original wording was the use of the word "will", which could be construed as "attempt". "Can" also leaves the possibility of failure, since just because it "can" kill something doesn't mean that it will succeed. Better wording of the book title would create a more efficient creature to kill SCP 682. Something like:

"The Day SCP-682 died.

SCP-682 walked into a room. It immediately started dying of something it didn't understand, but which was completely and utterly incapable of harming humans or any Earth based life form. As SCP-682 died, it tried to heal, but it's healing ability stopped working. It tried to adapt and found that it permanently couldn't. SCP-682 died that day, for the rest of eternity."

Or if that doesn't work:

"The Day SCP-682 was Permanently Incapacitated.

SCP-682 walked into a room. It's flesh dropped off. It tried to heal but it couldn't. It tried to adapt to stop it's flesh from falling off, but the room adapted to it's new healing ability. This continued for the rest of time."

Also, they could try introducing SCP-682 to that reality warping girl that Dr Clef tried to kill, can't remember the number right now. She could probably just blink the thing out of existence.

[Simon_Jester]

They tried that too.

Termination Test Record:
Story is put between SCP-826, and placed into large, empty room ██m X ██m X ██m in dimension, with a remotely operated doorway large enough to send SCP-682 through. SCP-682 is brought in front of the entryway securely. Once researchers clear the area, door is remotely opened, exposing a green pasture similar to the one described in the story. SCP-682 is reluctant to go through, so D-682-32 is sent through as "Bait". 682 follows through doorway, whereupon the doorway closes behind them. 30 minutes later, SCP-682 bursts back through the door it was sent through, somewhat worse for wear, killing ██ researchers and ██ agents in the process. Recovery personnel describe the story's pasture as having become a "Battleground", featuring impact craters with enormous body parts scattered around. Parts are thought to be from the story's "Thing". Recovered story is retitled "The Generally Nice, Friendly Thing That Tried To Kill SCP-682 Permanently But Failed" , and is noticeably thicker, with 209 individual pages that detail an epic battle between the two monsters.

Additional attempts to coax SCP-682 into SCP-826 have been met with non-compliance on SCP-682's part.

[Jedi Commisar]

Bolo

[Zixinus]

If it cannot be killed, could it be used to permanently destroy certain unwanted SCPs?

Aren't there any efforts to permanently incapacitate it or do something like bury it in a ton of concrete?

[Simon_Jester]

Many of the unwanted SCPs are things that 682 will ignore (inanimate objects) or that might be used as weapons (which you don't want to give to 682, for obvious reasons).

As to incapacitation, any condition you can put it in for an extended period of time, it can be damaged into nonfunctionality, but whatever bits of it remain have always so far 'adapted' to the point where you hit equilibrium and cannot damage it further- it may lose 80% of its mass, but the remaining 20% is now regenerating the damage or fire-resistant enough or whatever that you can't finish it off.

It's normally stored in a big tank of sulfuric acid which keeps it pretty much incapacitated (acid-damaged and weakened by being dissolved as fast as it can regenerate), so yes they try to permanently incapacitate it; the problem is that it's got ridiculous no-limits adaptation capability. Burying it in a ton of concrete might work- but then again, it's strong enough that it could conceivably break its way out of being entombed in concrete over time, or make its way out before the concrete sets.

They've never tried nuking it, so far as I know, probably because of the fear of what happens if it adapts to that (somehow). As long as they can keep it contained, even at ongoing cost and loss of life, it's not worth the risk of them trying and failing through some half measure.

I would have probably tried shooting it into space by now, assuming a rocket heavy enough to take its containment tank full of acid and loft it up to solar escape velocity; then it becomes deep space's problem, not mine. Though even that could be troublesome, since the heaviest objects we've ever boosted to solar escape velocity were the Voyager probes, which tip the scales at about 3/4 of a ton, and any safe-ish containment measure for SCP-682 is going to be heavier than that.

And the obvious objection to that is the risk of a rocket failure- falling from great heights, asphyxiation, and being bathed in fire are only temporary inconveniences to the beast, and it would be really troublesome to recapture the beast after it falls out of a rocket. Sort of like the objection to firing radioactive waste into the Sun.

[Ahriman238]

First I'm indebted to SpaceMarine for giving me a fun new universe to read/play with.

As far as killing, if 536 (the variable constants chamber) couldn't kill the thing, i doubt nukes are going to do the job. I more favor encasing it with concrete and dumping it in the ocean, shooting it into the sun, or just into the empty void. Even if it can adapt to survive these, that it doesn't mean it will develop the ability to escape and/or return to earth.

For that matter, since they can apparently keep it somewhat contained (most of the time, with great loss of life every time it tries to escape,) and mentioned feeding it vast qualities of meat, why not try keeping it imprisoned but stopping the food?

Could borrow from classic Superman. Send it forwards in time to the end of the universe, or back far enough to see if the Big Bang will kill it (though that latter has some risks...)

Sometimes simple works better. At least 4 of those attempts involved them trying to find a "genie" to wish 682 away.

Oh, and if all else fails. Time Lords destroy the universe and ascend for the win.

[Simon_Jester]

Ahriman, they don't necessarily feed it- they keep it submerged in an acid bath and it doesn't starve away.

The fact that acid neutralizes it and flamethrowers can (usually) hurt it and reduce at least parts of its body to a dead state is promising. You see, cutting SCP-682 in half results in two SCP-682s (though if you damage one, the other will eat it and reabsorb the mass)- but cutting small pieces off 682 doesn't seem to have the same effect, and burning bits of it to ashes certainly doesn't. So there is a limit. You might be able to just vaporize it all at once with a high enough flux of X-rays, giving it no time to adapt. So a nuclear fireball, or being caught in a supernova or the like might physically destroy it: that could hit every cell in its body at once with a vaporizing dose of penetrating radiation and leave it no time to adapt or recover, because there's nothing left but ash.

However, while this might work, it might also not work, and if it does then you're really screwed. One of the limits on the Foundation's attempts to destroy SCP-682 is that it tries to avoid using any method that might result in enough collateral damage to let it escape.

Dumping into the ocean is a stupid idea, because the thing doesn't need to breathe- if it ever breaks out of the concrete, you've guaranteed it will escape beyond your reach. Shooting it into space is, in my opinion, better (though with risks, see above). Launching it into interstellar space is actually easier than launching it into the sun; you need about 30 km/s of delta-v to drop something into the sun, but only about 10 to 15 km/s of delta-v to get it up to solar escape velocity.

[Chirios]

They tried that too.

Termination Test Record:
Story is put between SCP-826, and placed into large, empty room ██m X ██m X ██m in dimension, with a remotely operated doorway large enough to send SCP-682 through. SCP-682 is brought in front of the entryway securely. Once researchers clear the area, door is remotely opened, exposing a green pasture similar to the one described in the story. SCP-682 is reluctant to go through, so D-682-32 is sent through as "Bait". 682 follows through doorway, whereupon the doorway closes behind them. 30 minutes later, SCP-682 bursts back through the door it was sent through, somewhat worse for wear, killing ██ researchers and ██ agents in the process. Recovery personnel describe the story's pasture as having become a "Battleground", featuring impact craters with enormous body parts scattered around. Parts are thought to be from the story's "Thing". Recovered story is retitled "The Generally Nice, Friendly Thing That Tried To Kill SCP-682 Permanently But Failed" , and is noticeably thicker, with 209 individual pages that detail an epic battle between the two monsters.

Additional attempts to coax SCP-682 into SCP-826 have been met with non-compliance on SCP-682's part.

I remember, though I forgot about the "additional attempts" bit. That still doesn't get around my use better wording idea. Perhaps there's a way to move SCP-826 to meet SCP-682 instead of the other way around?

If that doesn't work try getting it to attack SCP-073. Slightly less ethical but, if - as it seems - the only thing that can kill 682 is 682, then coercing it into attack 073 would likely result in its death. Plus I'm pretty sure Cain would be willing once the terms were understood, namely the eradication of a creature that has dedicated itself to destroying humanity.

[SilverWingedSeraph]

Putting it in a room with 073 likely wouldn't do a damn thing to it, honestly. There's no indication at all that 682 would be capable of killing itself. It wasn't capable of killing 096, and 096 was incapable of killing it, though it did massive damage.