We try to kill SCP-682...

[Chirios]

Putting it in a room with 073 likely wouldn't do a damn thing to it, honestly. There's no indication at all that 682 would be capable of killing itself. It wasn't capable of killing 096, and 096 was incapable of killing it, though it did massive damage.

I think that might have been retconned out of existence. It isn't in the termination record definitely.

[SilverWingedSeraph]

Uh... yeah it is? Simon_Jester quoted it on the last page. Here, let me quote it for you again:

Item: SCP-096

Tissue Test Record:
N/A

Termination Test Record:
Containment tank containing SCP-096 was placed in SCP-682's cell. Personnel vacated vicinity and the tank was opened remotely.

Screams of the two entities continue for twenty-seven (27) hours, at which point the noise abruptly stops. Sonar-based video feeds reveal SCP-096 severely "wounded" and huddled in the southwest corner, apparently upset. Feed shows SCP-682 on the north end of the room, approximately 85% of its initial mass absent. Re-containment teams retrieve both entities with relative ease.

Further attempts to expose SCP-096 to SCP-682 cause it to turn away from 682, jumping in place while clawing at its face and screaming.

Both survived, neither was able to kill the other.

073 obviously wouldn't work for killing him, though it could potentially be hilarious to watch. Besides, 682 often doesn't show agression to other SCPs and is intelligent enough to figure out "Hey, my attacking this guy HURTS ME and doesn't hurt him at all!"

[Simon_Jester]

Putting it in a room with 073 likely wouldn't do a damn thing to it, honestly. There's no indication at all that 682 would be capable of killing itself. It wasn't capable of killing 096, and 096 was incapable of killing it, though it did massive damage.

It might just learn not to attack SCP-073 after inadvertently ripping its own head off three or four times trying to attack him. It is capable of learning to avoid or flee certain threats, such as SCP-524, "Walter the Omnivorous Rabbit," which started to nibble on it.

We also know that SCP-343 ("God") calls SCP-682 "not one of his" and is totally noninteracting with the reptile- cannot perceive it and passes right through it. Since it's reasonable to infer that 073's mark is 343's handiwork (though he has never confirmed or denied this as far as I know), it might not work on 682, which would be lethal to 073 and accomplish nothing.

Throwing SCP-682 at SCP-073's mark may also be a variation on the theme of allowing the irresistible force to meet the immovable object, which the Foundation is committed to preventing as a matter of policy, presumably for reasons of [DATA EXPUNGED].

[Sriad]

Problem number one is that they're storing it in Hydrochloric Acid, which as far as Strong Acids go, extremely fucking weak.

What they need to do is take a somewhat larger container, coat its sides in about a foot of Teflon and cycle Fluoroantimonic acid (20 quintillion--yes, with a q--times stronger than sulfuric acid) through the tank until no molecules are stuck to each other. Burn the shit as it comes out.

Sure the countryside for 20 miles in every direction will end up a toxic wasteland, but we clearly need to break out extreme measures.

[Chirios]

Uh... yeah it is? Simon_Jester quoted it on the last page. Here, let me quote it for you again:

Item: SCP-096

Tissue Test Record:
N/A

Termination Test Record:
Containment tank containing SCP-096 was placed in SCP-682's cell. Personnel vacated vicinity and the tank was opened remotely.

Screams of the two entities continue for twenty-seven (27) hours, at which point the noise abruptly stops. Sonar-based video feeds reveal SCP-096 severely "wounded" and huddled in the southwest corner, apparently upset. Feed shows SCP-682 on the north end of the room, approximately 85% of its initial mass absent. Re-containment teams retrieve both entities with relative ease.

Further attempts to expose SCP-096 to SCP-682 cause it to turn away from 682, jumping in place while clawing at its face and screaming.

Both survived, neither was able to kill the other.

073 obviously wouldn't work for killing him, though it could potentially be hilarious to watch. Besides, 682 often doesn't show agression to other SCPs and is intelligent enough to figure out "Hey, my attacking this guy HURTS ME and doesn't hurt him at all!"

My apologies, I was thinking about 76.

[Simon_Jester]

I don't think SCP-076 could kill him, although he could make a credible attempt. He's not actually more lethal than SCP-096; he's just hellaciously good in a fight, not a supernatural being of pure YOU SEE MY FACE YOU DIEEE!

As to the acid thing, looking through the discussion thread, one of the 'senior scientist' authors on the site says that hydrochloric acid specifically seems to induce a torpor-like state in the creature, as opposed to the heightened adaptation-state SCP-682 undergoes when under attack by more... formidable means. Using a different acid might just cause 682 to grow a Teflon coating.

[Zixinus]

Question: what about dumping the sucker into a considerable pool of liquid nitrogen, dump some more atop of him and then water?

[Simon_Jester]

Honestly, I don't think that would work at all. Dumping him in a liquid nitrogen bath might render it more or less inert, granted. But dumping the water on... well, you'd get a good deal of freezing and shattering, but I don't think it would actually bemore effective than some of the other chemical attacks we've seen tried- and chunks of SCP-682's body mass that weigh in at five to ten percent of the total are still capable of regenerating the whole.

One point I'd like to make is that 682 isn't, according to the guy who wrote the article, just a reptile. It's something else, some kind of entity with a nature outside our universe. That's why futzing with physical laws doesn't kill it: its existence and ongoing survival are not dependent on superficial details of physical law, or on the presence or absence of some environmental factor like food or air.

[Zixinus]

The idea is that to use liquid nitrogen to freeze it and water to KEEP it frozen.

At this point, physical destruction is simply futile. Mental domination of some sort would be only bet here.

[Sriad]

As to the acid thing, looking through the discussion thread, one of the 'senior scientist' authors on the site says that hydrochloric acid specifically seems to induce a torpor-like state in the creature, as opposed to the heightened adaptation-state SCP-682 undergoes when under attack by more... formidable means. Using a different acid might just cause 682 to grow a Teflon coating.

After reviewing the experiment log this seems to be the case.

Maybe processing it in SCP-914 (rough setting), though they'd probably be reluctant to risk damaging the device.

The paradox seems to be that using exotic or extreme attacks runs the risk of granting 682 exotic abilities, extreme immunities, or destroying the original but creating a reproduction.

[SilverWingedSeraph]

I honestly wouldn't want to put SCP-914 anywhere near SCP-682.

It'd probably figure out a way to put itself through on the "Very Fine" setting.

[Simon_Jester]

The idea is that to use liquid nitrogen to freeze it and water to KEEP it frozen.

At this point, physical destruction is simply futile. Mental domination of some sort would be only bet here.

The question is whether SCP-682 actually ceases to function at low temperature, like a normal lifeform. I kind of doubt it.

After reviewing the experiment log this seems to be the case.

Maybe processing it in SCP-914 (rough setting), though they'd probably be reluctant to risk damaging the device.

SCP-682 is too large to fit in SCP-914's input tray. Reducing it to a size small enough to permit this would be very difficult in its own right.

Hmmm. I had an idea for an SCP-914 test.

Name: Dr. ████████ with Dr. ████ assisting.
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: Five cylindrical 500g pellets of elemental uranium.

Setting: Rough
Input: 500g cylindrical uranium pellet.
Output: 500g cylindrical pellet, apparently made of lead. Output was significantly larger than the uranium pellet. After applying neutron diffraction and careful sampling, the output was found to be a 429.6g hollow lead canister containing ~70g of pressurized helium gas. This is consistent with total radioactive decay of the uranium sample into stable isotopes.

Setting: Coarse
Input: 500g cylindrical uranium pellet.
Output: 127x irregular uranium pellets, masses ranging from 20 grams to just over one gram. Painstaking reassembly by Level One research personnel reconstructed the original cylindrical shape from the fragments.

Setting: 1:1
Input: 500g cylindrical uranium pellet.
Output: 500g cylindrical thorium pellet.

Setting: Fine
Input: 500g cylindrical uranium pellet.
Output: 500g heavy metal pellet, intensely radioactive. Analysis revealed the pellet to be 99.3% plutonium-239 by mass, and 0.7% uranium-235.

Setting: Very Fine
Input: 500g cylindrical uranium pellet.
Output: 500g cylindrical pellet, significantly denser than uranium and extremely radioactive. Pellet glows blue in air, consistent with high levels of Cherenkov radiation. When placed in a [DATA EXPUNGED], the output was found to be capable of [DATA REDACTED]

[Zixinus]

The question is whether SCP-682 actually ceases to function at low temperature, like a normal lifeform. I kind of doubt it.

Killing it? Unlikely. Put it into an active state of hibernation/tupor? Maybe, perhaps an alternative to the acid treatment?

[Ahriman238]

Looks like they tried mind control once already. 682 first went into a trance state, then was able to resist commands, then developed mind control powers of it's own that wore off 2 weeks (and several gruesome deaths) later.

A telepath the SCP keeps around refuses to have anything to do with 682. I think the mindfuck is off the table.

[Enigma]

Why not let 682 cast its shadow onto 17 and see what happens?

[Enigma]

I'm reading down the SCP list and I came upon SCP 24, the "Game Show of Death". Throw 682 with some other class D schmuck and see if 24 will send its guardians after 682 for breaking the rules.

[Darkevilme]

Why not let 682 cast its shadow onto 17 and see what happens?

The Tried that.

Item: SCP-017

Tissue Test Record:
Sample “swallowed” by SCP-017 without incident.

Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 exposed to SCP-017. SCP-682 issues several sounds at extremely high volume, damaging several recording devices. Sound extends across several wavelengths, reported as “the most god-awful roar” by staff. SCP-017 appears to stumble, then return to a far corner of the containment area. SCP-682 attempts to break containment of both SCP-682 and SCP-017. SCP-682 suppressed by Agents, and removed. SCP-682 states, “You foul bags of tissue; you don’t [DATA EXPUNGED]”

Notes: It is unclear if SCP-682 somehow damaged SCP-017, or communicated with it. Analysis of the recorded sound is ongoing.

It didn't work for reasons of [DATA EXPUNGED].

[Enigma]

I'm surprised that they did not re-designate 682 to 48 and wait for the inevitable.

[The Vortex Empire]

Very good chance that would just cause it to escape.

[Ahriman238]

Feed it to Cthulu? Make it listen to boy bands until it finds a way to self-terminate? Call one of the many alternate realities and see if they have a better idea? Find an SCP that utterly anihilates anyone who doesn't pass a secret character test?

If we're willing to risk containment, time to try the nuke, black hole, and Train Ticket to Nowhere plans.

Damn, even locking it in a room with Dr. Clef didn't work. Maybe try giving Jack Harkness as long as he needs to figure it out in combat?

Use a "erases from all of time" weapon. Feed it Cajun food. Feed it to a giant Rubber Ducky. Send it to the Mirror Universe and let the (more) evil SCP try and deal with it. Send it to whatever reality has Super Sentai/Power Rangers and let them try and deal with it. Send it to the Lovecraft Mythos, they've (debatably) dealt with worse. Give it a book that sucks it into an internal world. Appeal to 40th dimensional god-like beings to pull it from the 4-D universe and flip it around so it comes back inverted in every way up to and including dying easily and loving the world with all it's heart. Send Shroomy into it's cell with a knife and let the dickstabbing orgy begin. Build a 12" gun underground, specifically to demolish it's cell and everything inside, include all the death dealing technology you can, cannister and cluster munitions, white phosphorus and any SCP effects. Include the Super Ball, so the shell will bounce back and forth across the cell, and each time it passes hits 682 a dozen different ways. See how many attacks it can cope with.

[Simon_Jester]

Tried that.

[Ahriman238]

Feed it meat... with hidden peanut butter. Because it would be hilarious if after years of trying increasingly exotic ways of killing the beast, it turned out to have a peanut allergy. For tha matter, it could hurt to try exposing it a vast variety of foodstuffs, radioactive elements, or generally every substance knwon to man on the off chance that one of these things is kryptonite to 682.

[Chirios]

I was about to suggest waking up 239 and seeing if she could do it, but then I realised she probably isn't going to want to help the Foundation after what they did to her.

Also, to those suggesting that 343 is God, I'd like to point out that the same thing has been said about 239. The issue hasn't been settled yet.

[Enigma]

Why not introduce it to 53 and see if 682 dies of a heart attack.

[Ahriman238]

Why not introduce it to 53 and see if 682 dies of a heart attack.

...

and, yep. Already tried.

SCP-682 introduced to SCP-053 containment area. SCP-682 appears to be very confused, and shows no sign of being affected by SCP-053. SCP-053 appears to be afraid of SCP-682, and hides behind a chair in her containment area. SCP-682 lowers itself to the ground, resting its head on the floor. SCP-053 approaches SCP-682, and after several seconds of hesitation, briefly touches SCP-682 before rapidly returning to her hiding place. SCP-682 does not react in any way. SCP-053 approaches SCP-682 and pats its head, causing it to exhale through its forward nostrils. SCP-053 claps and hops in place several times before embracing the head of SCP-682. For the remainder of the testing period, SCP-682 appears to be in a very docile state, with only two low-level escape attempts being made. SCP-053 is observed to bring toys and other items to SCP-682, and makes several drawings on its forward carapace with crayons.

Staff entering at the end of the test phase are immediately attacked by SCP-682, resulting in two deaths and five injuries. SCP-682 contained and moved to separate containment unit. SCP-053 observed crying for several minutes after SCP-682 is removed.

Notes: The reaction of SCP-682 is notable for several reasons. First, it is one of the few incidents where SCP-682 has come in contact with biological tissue and not entered a “rage” state. Second, it has raised questions as to the physical make-up and composition of SCP-053, in regards to the lack of response of SCP-682. Third, it has provided a possible solution to long-term containment. However, approval for the mutual containment of two highly dangerous SCP items in a single containment unit is not likely.

Somehow, 682 seems to know what at least some of the other SCPs are. It never attacks things that destroy whatever attacks them. And similarly displays relevant knowledge to protect itself from other SCPs at times.

They also tried to induce a heart attack once by means of SCP-807 (magic plate turns any food placed on it into an absurdly high-cholestrol, fatty and fried version, makes the scent and flavor of this food nigh-irresistable. Anyone who consumes food placed on 807 suffers a heart attack exactly 3 minutes later, no matter how small the quantity.)

A "682 special" (10 kg of rotten meat and sharpened bone splinters, 10 L of rancid mayonnaise, 1 L potassium cyanide, and 1 kg morphine hydrochloride, combined into a solid mass then transmuted via SCP-807) was dumped into the testing room.

SCP-682 devoured "special", then began loudly demanding more. Nine minutes later, SCP-682 collapsed.

After forty-five minutes of observation, SCP-682 had not moved. Two D-Class personnel in anti-807 environment suits were sent in to verify that SCP-682 was in fact terminated; D-class were equipped with further "specials" in case SCP-682 required further distracting.

"Specials" were placed on ground in front of SCP-682's head; in response, SCP-682 opened its eyes and began gnawing weakly on nearest "special".

D-Class personnel began touching SCP-682, believing that it had been rendered harmless; at this point, SCP-682's skin ruptured in at least eleven locations, releasing ultra-high-pressure (estimated 2.7 MPascals) jets of blood in all directions. Contact with SCP-682's blood breached the integrity of the anti-807 environment suits, and both D-class personnel were contaminated.

D-Class personnel began [DATA EXPUNGED]; by the time SCP-682 had finished consuming the second "special", its skin had healed over and both D-class personnel had terminated. SCP-682 then devoured the third "special" with the same speed and enthusiasm as it had devoured the first.