Make Wonder Woman Not Suck (Rewrite)

[Havok]

Per this thread and the points GR cites here...

In the end, she's more right then not.

If we define heroes by their opponents? She's lower then many D listers. She has no villain worth of note, even when they did Superfriends. I mean for christ sakes, her two top entries are a cat-lady and a sorceress that turns men into pigs.

If we define heroes by their goals? She's dumber then most villains who have world changing powers wanting to rob banks. She wants to beat the bad people in the world into accepting peace and justice.

If we define heroes by what they represent? She's pretty much T&A.

Wonder Woman as a character has only been kept alive because DC/WB do not want to lose the liscence to something they may be able to cash in on. She got shoehorned into their so called trinity, and as a character no one really knows what to do given her origins are pretty much BSDM queen/submissive.

Opponents, Goals and Represents ...do a rework on Wonder Woman that makes her more relevant to the DCU and give here a good reason to be in DC's "Trinity" besides just being an old female character.

You have open reign in this, from costume to back story to invisible jet.

[Majin Gojira]

A poster on Insanejournal (formerly on Liverjournal) has been doing a retrospective of the best elements (and pointing out the stupid too) of the Wonder Woman Mythos.

I've been toying with the concept of Wonder Woman for a while now (and like filtering her mythos through the Stargate for shits and giggles).

Beyond that, de-sanitizing the Amazonian culture is step 1.

As a rule, I dislike Lady Land stories for either beind bigoted stories or just fucking retarted. Here, it's just fucking retarted.

I'd keep more of the magic involved, but lose the immortality angle and reduce it to longevity. (I dislike immortals, what can I say). I'd make the Amazons a bit darker and violent, but still largely an Athenean offshoot (as opposed to a full blown Spartan Warrior Cult. This. Is. Not. Sparta.). Still, frame them a bit like the Harryhausen High Fantasy movies, full of Gods, monsters and so on. Themyscira could be hidden from the world to prevent men from getting to the Hellmouth they live over and have been burdened to protect (IE: Pandora's box) akin to the recent animated film.

One of the biggest overall changes I'd make is remove the Ambassador to Man's World angle.

My take on the big 3 of the DCU is that of the stages of Americana. Bruce is the Old Blood. Clark is the Second Generation Immagrant.

Diana will be "Stepping off the boat" but not in "I don't understand how your technology works duhr..." crap. More "Hey, America sounds awesome, I want to go!" aspect. I'm hate utopias as a general rule.

Those are the big changes I'd make. Minor changes include dropping the Bathing Suit in favor of Practical Fucking Armor of Athenean Design (Corinthean Helmets are awesome and you know it!). Ignoring the invisible jet, let her get some godforged weapons and arms.

But that's just off the top of my head. I could be rambling.

[rhoenix]

Caveat: I haven't read any of the Wonder Woman comics, and saw maybe one or two episodes of the TV show as a kid. I'm pretty much just going from Wikipedia and the Megan Fox Hates On Wonder Woman thread for inspiration.

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Their island was that of Aeaea, Circe's ancestral island where the wayward Amazons were given a home to live, and thrive. They fled, following the Great Malady that killed almost all of their men, and had robbed them of so many fine warriors, scholars, and the wise. The great Circe found them, and drew the frightened and hurt people to her bosom, giving them a new home that would be forever theirs to live in peace, undiscovered by the outside world.

The Amazonian people thrived, their health greatly improving as a result of Circe's food, drink, and care. The rate at which new children were born to the people began to slow over the years, then decades, then centuries; however, the Amazonian people were aging more slowly, and remaining more vital for many more years. Soon, the mark of a true practitioner of any art was being dedicated to the field for at least twenty five years, and then soon enough, a century.

The simple act of a Boeing 707 flying over the island triggered what some on the island dubbed "The Time of Troubles." This time was so named not because the outside world had necessarily encroached on their paradise, but because those on the leadership council began to feel that their continued isolation was not in their best interests - especially if others in this world were making wonders such as large metal birds that flew higher than any bird. Soon enough, a decision on what to do about all this was made, and announced to the Amazonian people. This one single decision inspired more debate and more consternation than any other in their history, for it was a decision not about whether or not to initiate contact, but under what circumstances.

A Triat was picked, with strict orders to go out and meet the people of the world, and learn more about them; but to not ever return to Aeaea, lest their paradise be lost. The Triat was composed of the finest warrior Aeaea had seen, named Echendis; the best diplomat and stateswoman the island had, named Diana; and the most successful huntress, named Ertemis. They would communicate back with the people of Aeaea using the well-preserved rings Circe had given their leaders so long ago to communicate with each other during the great emigration to Aeaea, reporting back regularly.

The last their people saw of the wayward Triat was of them crossing the boundary surrounding the island, swiftly appearing to be mere fading shimmers, as dreams fading into the morning sunlight. All the island talked of was their trip, what they might find, and what might find them. Most were more worried about such good teachers being gone than about something happening to the three; such a thing was unthinkable. After all, did not their wounds heal soon after being made? Were they not much stronger and tougher than they once were?

The best laid plans have a common theme of going awry early on, and this was no exception. After the Triat emerged in an unfamiliar land, greeted soon by men holding strange, short tubes cradled in their arms. As Diana was trying to talk with the men, Echendis withdrew her spear to hold it to her side, to show that they were armed as well. Hot, stinging things began to strike them from the short tubes the men carried, one going right through Echendis' eye, killing her instantly. Ertemis and Diana made their escape the best they could, Ertemis using every trick she knew of to throw off their pursuers, but her skills were challenged in this place filled with sand. Their first sorrowful message to Aeaea spoke of Echendis' passing, but their determination to go on.

Not a week later, Ertemis ran afoul, ironically, of a feature of the land that she was not familiar. She was deeply familiar with so many ways in which the earth itself had secrets, but among them was not quicksand. Much stronger and much tougher than an ordinary woman, she fell into a patch while out hunting one night. Diana began to worry after two hours passed of her friend and compatriot not coming back, but was not prepared for the horror of seeing her friend's spear near the wet patch of sandy ground.

Three weeks later, when it came time to give the report back, Diana could not entirely hide her grief. During her report though, she decided that she would press on. She was somewhat derided by her sisters for choosing to also train in more fields than just Diplomacy, but she was quite competent as a warrior as well as a huntress; she was certainly not the equal of Echendis or Ertemis - but she knew the basics.

She made many more reports as she travelled, eventually bringing her to a place she had heard stories of throughout her travels; a place that was both the home of freedom and the home of slavery; the home of the brave and the home of the afraid; the home of the privileged and poor: America. The great contradiction as a country seemed to call to her, and all the stories she had heard of this place only confirmed her suspicions.

====

As I now envision them, Echendis would have worn a short leather skirt that would not impede her movement, her clothing functional instead of attractive. Ertemis would wear long leather pants to help ease her passing through the wilderness, her clothing would be suited as such. As a diplomat, Diana would originally have worn more flowing robes and clothing. After she reached America however, she would have worn some of Echendis' and some of Ertemis' clothing, as she thought of herself as chasing both of their purposes as well as her own; the mission must go on. Gone are the more flowing clothing, replaced by the armored top, sword, and leather skirt that Echendis wore, as well as Ertemis' spear and cloak.

The island of Aeaea was taken from Homer's The Odyssey, and was indeed the island where Circe lived. It seemed fitting as a new home for the Amazonians given some random "we need to leave home now!" event.

[Steve]

Well, for one thing, Wonder Woman's Greek mythology origins should play the important role in her background. Go ahead and keep Themyscira around with Queen Hippolyta, though perhaps make it where Diana's not the creation of clay given life by the Gods but a natural daughter of Hippolyta (if you want to up her power level, have her daddy be a God. Or maybe not her father but a second mother, Greek mythology's got enough weird stuff that you could probably swing something like Athena granting Hippolyta the daughter she craved by impregnating Hippolyta with an embryo combining Hippolyta's egg with one of her own). She should be written as the outsider, not entirely comfortable with the things she sees in the world, and believing she has a responsibility to improve the world where possible (a perceived responsibility that can get her in trouble sometimes in various stories). Not necessarily to bring World Peace but to increase the peace of the world, to protect the weak from the strong who would oppress them or make war on them.

Villain wise have Ares as her main opponent, but not in the "punch him" way. Lex Luthor is Superman's iconic foe because he's someone Superman simply can't punch around (well, save for certain developments and storyline of sometimes debatable quality). He's the symbol of corrupt power to Superman's "Truth, Justice, and the American Way". Superman uses his power to save lives and help others while Luthor uses his power - in the form of his incredible wealth - to corrupt others and increase his own personal power while appearing to be a benevolent captain of industry. He's not a bank robber or even someone like Parasite or Brainiac that Superman can ultimately overcome with superior force because many people don't even see him as a villain, they don't know what he really is.

In this vein, as cool as the recent animated movie's final battle was, Ares needs to be someone that is untouchable for Diana. She can't wrap the lasso around his neck and toss him around. He's a fucking God, after all, a son of Zeus himself. An innate force of the universe, embodying the tendency of sentient beings to fight with one another for reasons grand and petty, a tendency that Diana is trying to protect the innocent from. Rather you can use other entities and beings from Greek mythology or of original creation who are agents of Ares in the world. You could even rework some of the supervillains she has to be given their abilities by Ares as part of his attempts to deal with Diana.

If you want to show Diana as having diplomatic skills, throw in Olympian politicking with Athena and/or other Olympians in constant opposition to Ares and any supporters he has. Let Diana perhaps outwit Ares in that arena as her way to win victories over him.

Any agreement? Opposition?

[Shroom Man 777]

I'd agree on that, Steve. Create a modernized Greek Myth, a modern gritty urbanized fantasy with Ares as one of her prime villains in the form of a Greek Lord of War - something like what's been played with in the DTV and in JLU. Incorporating Greek mythology and global geopolitical whatsits will make Wonder Woman stories of a greater scale and scope, more epic! Part modern political thriller, part sword and swash-buckling fantasy involving gods and monsters and ancient powerful artifacts in a ridiculous comic book world full of awesome!

Hell, maybe we can even throw some Stargate homages for Majin's sake. One of the old mythological figures could be an alien pharaoh and shit - a fucking Goa'uld. Ancient astronauts, obscene paleotechnology and archeoweaponry being used by all sorts of ahistorical shitpieces. Fuck it, we can go into some real God of War shit with the Colossus of Rhodes being an obscene marble mechanical monstrosity with all sorts of mechanisms and shit!

EDIT:

Her costume should be totally Xena-style. Xena's outfit isn't so revealing, but still gives us a good view of her titties and her legs while resembling some kind of armor.

[avatarxprime]

As far as including the Gods goes, the ancient myths provide a nice way for both Diana and her mother to be powered. Hippolyta is a daughter of Ares, so Diana is his granddaughter, add in some god-made clothing and you get all the power she needs. That can add to the story.

The Amazon's first Queen was a consort of Ares and their second was his daughter but since he's a man they rejected him and went with Athena as their Goddess of War. Athena specializes in planning, strategy and diplomatic aspects of war rather than straight up kill or be killed. This informs the Amazonian culture where despite being incredibly warlike they maintain a great amount of peace.

As part of preparations for rule and just an Amazonian pursuit of knowledge (one of Athena's big deals) Amazonian royalty take a sojourn to "Man's World" to learn how the other half lives. Since Amazons are so very long lived the last time this happened was centuries ago, but now it is Diana's turn since she is next in line for the throne. Granted protective armor blessed by Athena and weapons blessed by Artemis she sets out to learn. She sees how much war and pain is present in the world and decides stay here so she can try to spread her Amazonian philosophy on war/life to the rest of us in an attempt to help us find our way to peace.

Ares of course doesn't like this and sends agents to muck everything up for her, although he doesn't directly fight since that is his granddaugher after all. Besides, Athena is out there watching over Diana as well so Ares has to act through proxies and subordinates which allows us to bring in Olympian politics.

As far as her outfit goes I'd think something like this or this would work. I favor the first one because it's more similar to Athena's style. Also here are two Amazonian armor reference pictures. The first one is actually Queen Hippolyta vs Hercules.

[Tsyroc]

One of the things the comics toyed with was that Diana's father might be Herakles, either from when Hippolyta had willing relations with him or when he captured her and raped her.

Going that route could add all sorts of drama to the character's back story as well as provide a different reason for her strength being greater than the other Amazons. Whether it's based on her being Herakles daughter or the grand daughter of both Ares and Zeus. The later would seem to really tie in well with the "close" relationships the Greek gods had with each other.