The new HP book. (Major fucking spoilers)

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The new HP book. (Major fucking spoilers)

Post by Gandalf »

I was wondering, who dies and why?


Edited the title, given the mine and Dorsk's posts ~ Crown
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Post by Brother-Captain Gaius »

We had an interesting debate over the exact meaning of "HP" a couple weeks ago in the IRC. Are you referring to HP Lovecraft? Hewlett Packard? "Humping Pussy"? High Power?or Harry Potter... :P
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Post by Gandalf »

I meant Harry Potter, sorry.
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Post by Brother-Captain Gaius »

I know, I know, just messin' with ya. Or something.
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Post by Admiral Johnason »

The book was just released 21 minutes ago where I live and I won't get it till 10 AM.
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Post by Gandalf »

Admiral Johnason wrote:The book was just released 21 minutes ago where I live and I won't get it till 10 AM.
somethingawful.co* apparently already has that info. I just needed verification.

The book was released 6 1/2 hours ago here.
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Post by Macross »

Surprise Surprise, it was Colin Creevy. :roll:

Ever since JK Rowling said that a fan of Harry's would die, Colin has had a big fat target painted on him. He might as well have been wearing a red shirt.

He died saving Harry for Voldemort.
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Post by Macross »

^^Just Kidding *Damn Lack of an edit button.* Been reading the book all night, and hit the submit button by mistake. :oops:

Actually it was Sirrius Black is the one who gets it.
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Post by Darth Gojira »

JediNeophyte wrote:We had an interesting debate over the exact meaning of "HP" a couple weeks ago in the IRC. Are you referring to HP Lovecraft? Hewlett Packard? "Humping Pussy"? High Power?or Harry Potter... :P
Heh. I remember an old archnemisis of mine who couln't stand the mere MENTION of Harry Potter, so we referred to the books and their hero as HP. Not surprisingly, he wanted a bio on *Saint Andrew*(!?!) to replace it. He also thought that the Narnia series was perfect in every way. I swear, of all the ADD, ADHD, austistics, or bipolars in the school, he was the most cracked.
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Post by Vympel »

Haven't read Harry Potter, don't ever plan on it. I'm too old for it to 'work' on me. When I was younger though, I did enjoy reading the Narnia series.
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Post by Spanky The Dolphin »

I also liked the Narnia series as a kid.

But I probably never would have read Harry Potter when I was younger. Books with silly mish-mash junk never interested me, even then, so I probably would have thought they were dumb...
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Post by Dorsk 81 »

Does is it start out with Harry having a dream about falling into Voldemorts arms? [Snip. Vympel]
So how and why does Sirius die? I got told sooo many things, I got told it would be Hagrid, then Hermionie, then Dobby.......I hate the rumors flying around trying to confuse people, I bet J.K starts them just to through people off, good idea though.
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Post by Spanky The Dolphin »

[Snip-Vympel]
Anyway, that might be a violation of the Discussion of Illegal Activities clause...
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Post by Dorsk 81 »

STOP IT- Vympel.
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Post by Spanky The Dolphin »

No, you dimbulb, I meant that on this board, talking about stuff that is illegal is not allowed. That is all.
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Post by Dorsk 81 »

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:No, you dimbulb, I meant that on this board, talking about stuff that is illegal is not allowed. That is all.
Noted.
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Post by Crown »

Well I for one am continued to be impressed with Rowling's consistancy and clever writting. I read it cover to cover in 11 hours, and I was most impressed, although I did at one point wonder what the whole point of Harry going to school was, since he learns all the neat stuff by studying outside of class ...

Mind you, I still enjoyed the read, although I felt a bit robbed with the death in the book, I honestly thought it would be long and drawn out kind of affair, but just like Goblet of Fire it was quick. I had to re-read just to make sure I didn't skip a paragraph somewhere.

Vympel I highly recommend the books for some nice, light, cute reading. They are very entertaining.

Oh yes, well done Ms. Rowling! Bravo!
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Post by Dorsk 81 »

Crown wrote:Well I for one am continued to be impressed with Rowling's consistancy and clever writting. I read it cover to cover in 11 hours, and I was most impressed, although I did at one point wonder what the whole point of Harry going to school was, since he learns all the neat stuff by studying outside of class ...

Mind you, I still enjoyed the read, although I felt a bit robbed with the death in the book, I honestly thought it would be long and drawn out kind of affair, but just like Goblet of Fire it was quick. I had to re-read just to make sure I didn't skip a paragraph somewhere.

Vympel I highly recommend the books for some nice, light, cute reading. They are very entertaining.

Oh yes, well done Ms. Rowling! Bravo!
So does it start off with a dream? Come on! Theres a spoiler warning! Tell all.....well, not all, just the plot, please!?
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Post by Crown »

Dorsk 81 wrote:
Don't think I've read the REAL version, so does it start off with a dream? Come on! Theres a spoiler warning! Tell all.....well, not all, just the plot, please!?
Nope no dream, it starts much like the blurb on all the amazon and book websites; 'The hottest day in summer ... '

I think that you might be refering to Goblet of Fire or a botched copy thereof.
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Post by Vympel »

Thanks for the ludicrous editing spree I just had to go on, people. :evil:


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Post by Dorsk 81 »

Crown wrote:
Dorsk 81 wrote:
Don't think I've read the REAL version, so does it start off with a dream? Come on! Theres a spoiler warning! Tell all.....well, not all, just the plot, please!?
Nope no dream, it starts much like the blurb on all the amazon and book websites; 'The hottest day in summer ... '

I think that you might be refering to Goblet of Fire or a botched copy thereof.
Nah, I read the others. The one I read was obviously a fake then and a pretty crap one as well that made hardly any sense, like a snake through Lupins chest the turned out to be a grenade full of baby snakes :roll:
*sigh* Ah well, I'll get the REAL thing later on then.....I hope.
So what the plot, in the fake one the order of the phoenix was a bloodline that could save ppls lives. It was really crapply explained as well. I half thought it was real because it was only on where I got it *note to Spanky: does not mention where!* only put it on today and the date seemed right.
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Post by Crown »

Dorsk 81 wrote:Nah, I read the others. The one I read was obviously a fake then and a pretty crap one as well that made hardly any sense, like a snake through Lupins chest the turned out to be a grenade full of baby snakes :roll:
*sigh* Ah well, I'll get the REAL thing later on then.....I hope.
So what the plot, in the fake one the order of the phoenix was a bloodline that could save ppls lives. It was really crapply explained as well. I half thought it was real because it was only on where I got it *note to Spanky: does not mention where!* only put it on today and the date seemed right.
Errr, yes well no, that was a fake...
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Post by Dorsk 81 »

Crown wrote:
Dorsk 81 wrote:Nah, I read the others. The one I read was obviously a fake then and a pretty crap one as well that made hardly any sense, like a snake through Lupins chest the turned out to be a grenade full of baby snakes :roll:
*sigh* Ah well, I'll get the REAL thing later on then.....I hope.
So what the plot, in the fake one the order of the phoenix was a bloodline that could save ppls lives. It was really crapply explained as well. I half thought it was real because it was only on where I got it *note to Spanky: does not mention where!* only put it on today and the date seemed right.
Errr, yes well no, that was a fake...
Some how I get the feeling u don't wanna spill the plot....
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Post by Crown »

Dorsk 81 wrote: Some how I get the feeling u don't wanna spill the plot....
Alright fine, but I am putting a warning ...

SPOILERS!!! Read at your own risk....

These a very in-depth spoilers, I shit you not, read at your own risk, this will reveal the entire plot (condensed), so if you read them and then wish you hadn't, tough I warned you. If you intend on reading the book then avoid these spoilers, as they are only a pale shadow of how well the book was written and how entertaining it was.

We begin at Privet Drive and Harry and Dudley are attacked by Dementors, which Harry manages to fight off. Mind you no-one is happy about this, the MoM (Ministry of Magic) try to use that as an excuse to expel him. Dumbledore, who had guards 24 7 around Harry, is majorly pissed that one of his guards slacked off, and that the MoM is trying to expel Harry.

It turns out that for the entire summer holidays the MoM has been engaging in a propaganda campaign to discredit both Harry and Dumbledoor. Anyway deciding that it would probably be best if Harry weren't at Privet Drive anymore (since he is coming close to hexing all his family), Dumbledore decides to bring him the headquaters of the Order of the Phoenix, which is set up to resiste Voldy, at Sirius Black old place.

Anyway charges dropped, Harry heads off to school (note his having weird dreams and his scar is hurting). The MoM manages to install an insider at Hogwarts as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, and no this isn't subtle, as her main job is totally interfere with the rest of the staff and 'asses' them.

One night, Harry dreams that he is a snake in a long corridor being guarded by Mr Weasley who he attacks, turns out, that Voldy and Harry can peak into each other's minds, and this alarms everyone, but thankfully because of this Mr W is saved.

Back at Hogwarts, rebeling agains the MoM teacher, who's idea of teaching is to spend the class time reading a book without class discussion or practical experties (sounds like a few teachers I know), Hermione convinces Harry to start up a secret club where he teaches students how to defend themselves. They nickname it 'Dumbledore's Army', as a joke since that's what the MoM is most afraid that Dumbledore would to take power from them (since that's the reason they think he is making up the whole Voldy story).

Meanwhile, Dumbledore has assigned Snape to have 1 on 1 classes with Harry to defend his mind from invasion, yes you read right, Snape. Well of course Harry is being a right royal prick about and not applying himself, especially when he realises that Snape was right about his father being a bit of a, well cunt at school.

Meanwhile Harry is still having the same dreams of the same corridor that Mr W was attacked in.

The jigg, about DA is up and rather then let Harry be expelled, Dumbledore claims that he started the club to the MoM hence the name, they try to arrest him, yeah right, he takes out 4 wizards with link on spell, and then before he vanishes he urges Harry to continue to study with Snape, which of course he manages not to do.

Exams are up and Harry starts dozing off in his last one, where he once again has a dream as Voldy in the same corridor (which turns out to be in the MoM, from Voldy's point of view), and he is torturing Sirius! Harry of course realises he must be the only one to go to the rescue (since Dumbledore is gone, and Proff McG was stunned (long story)), and he can't get in contact with other members of the Phoenix, yes he forgot about Snape.

So off goes Potter draggin along his friends (there's more than just Ron and Hermione, there is also Giny and Neville, and this new girl Luna). They get to the corridor in the MoM, and it turns out to be lined with prophesies, one that is about the 'Dark Lord & (?) Harry Potter'. Sirius is no where to be seen, but there are 10 Death Eaters there, yep that's right folks it was a trap!

Voldemort, realising that Harry could intrude in his thoughts, pumped him with false information to lure him to steal the prophesy, since the only ones who could remove it from the shelf, without going mad, were the people who's names the prophesy is about. And since the MoM doesn't want to believe that he is back, Voldemort didn't particularly feel like correcting them.

Anyhow, big hoo-rah, Death Eaters, can't harm Potter while he is hold the prophesy (as it is in a contained in glass ball, and Voldy wants to see it first hand), so it's a big running fight between the Hogwarts students and the Deather Eaters, but except for Harry (who they can't curse out right) it's no match. Finally Harry is left alone, and he is surrounded by 9 DE's and just when he thinks it's all over, member of the from the Order burst in and they start duelling. With 2 to 1 odds, it doesn't look good for them, then Dumbledore shows up and kicks some serious ass!

Some one dies, mentioned above in another post, Harry goes balsitic (oh yeah he broke the prophesy accidently and no - one noticed) he goes after the DE, he tells her that the prophesy is no more, she begins to freak knowing that Voldy won't be please, Harry performs and illegal curse on her (he wasn't angry enough to really make it stick). Voldy shows up and then says that's it, you're fucked!

And indeed he would have been, but thene Dumbledore shows up, takes on Voldy and the DE (who is totally freaked out about what Voldy was going to do the her for failing to be of any help). So it's left to Voldy and Dumbledore, but as Aurors start approaching it's a standstill and Voldy retreats, not without possesing Harry and trying to get Dumbledore to do him in.

Anywho we learn that Harry is destined to be the only one who has the power to defeat Voldy (as Dumbledore actually heard the prophesy first hand and recounts it Harry), and only one would live. Oh year Malfoy's father was one of the DE that Dumbledore rounded up and he is now in Azkabam.
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Post by Dorsk 81 »

Consider me warned....
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