Moderator: Steve
Unfortunately, your are the rumored Jack Black version and universally hated.Darksider wrote:Due to your lack of force powers, you cannot properly control the saber.Enigma wrote:
I wish I had a lightsaber.
You end up chopping off your own head.
I wish for a power ring under my control, with immunity to every color, and unlimited battery life.
Anarchist Bunny wrote: I wish this bug bite just above my ass that has swollen to the size of a golf ball would go the fuck away.
Solauren wrote: My wish:
I wish to have the powers and physical abilities of a 2000 year old Prismatic Dragon with 12 levels of Dragon Ascendet, as depicated in D&D3e.
CONGRATULATIONS! You now dominate the earth! Yay for you! unfortunately, islamic fundamentalists break into an old russian nuclear missile silo and nuke New York, causing the U.S. to cede from your rule, retaliatory strikes abound, and the world is reduced to ruin. you survive, though! And dominate all three of the remaining humans on the planet. Damn shame you all have severely malignant lymphoma. You'll die painfully over the next few months! Enjoy your stay.Darksider wrote:Solauren wrote: My wish:
I wish to have the powers and physical abilities of a 2000 year old Prismatic Dragon with 12 levels of Dragon Ascendet, as depicated in D&D3e.
You get your wish and the powers, unfortunatly, you are rapidly aged to 2000 years old, rapidly turning into dust before you can so much as utter your first spell.
I wish for complete and total domination of modern day earth.
Chardok wrote: I wish for a twinkie.
Unfortunately for you the Greys' masters, the Greens, gets really pissed off with you killing their servants. You are taken away for experiments for effects of cruel and unusual anal probe devices on humans.Anarchist Bunny wrote:I'd wish for Angel and Firefly to come back with the same cast and quality writing, but I wouldn't want someone to try and ruin that so I'll wish for Greys to exsist, but are weak and pacifist so I can kill them all with my bare hands.
*Ka-Chink!*Darth Garden Gnome wrote:However, because His Holiness doesn't actually exist, you also gain this unique trait. Welcome to nothingness.
Unfortunately, those monopoly suits has won, and Microsoft is torn apart, dragging your new found cash with it. Not only that, but Open Source is tearing away at what's left, leaving nothing but the bare and broken bones of Microsoft in the dust.I wish I were Bill Gates, minus the nerdiness.
Unbeknowest to you, the denerdification process for some one his level requires the loss of 98% body mass, and you become a testicle attacked to a pinky toe.Darth Garden Gnome wrote:However, because His Holiness doesn't actually exist, you also gain this unique trait. Welcome to nothingness.Lord of the Farce wrote:I wish that I'll become The God.
I wish I were Bill Gates, minus the nerdiness.
The Djinn shoves a pulse rifle up your ass and pulls the trigger.Anarchist Bunny wrote: I want a pulse rifle.
Granted. Unfortunately you can't account for planetary drift or survive in the vaccum of space, so when you go back in time a day, the earth isn't there anymore.President Sharky wrote:Unfortunately, the combination proves to be too much for your regular human body and transforms you into a formless and mindless blob. You are subsequently washed into a drain by rainfall.
I wish for the ability to travel through time and space at will while retaining my physical form and mental stability. I will activate this power in a human-calculated second by issuing a mental command.
Hah ha! The bottle was smashed! HAR!Skelron wrote:You get your wish... and it is no longer in existence, but since the Bottle needs an a Djinn you become the Djinn...
The Djinn are angry that you would do that to them, but they cleverly notice that there's nothing preventing them from making humans suffer terribly. After all, if they can grant your wish, that shows that they can manipulate dimensions and cause suffering. I won't go into what they will do to you and the rest of humanity, but I would like to point out that if you make all the Djinn suffer for eternity, they're going to be pretty pissed off, and they'll have a long time to think about it.Cyborg Stan wrote:Nothing happens.
I wish for, without further modification to the sets/population of the Djinn and non-Djinn, for the Djinn to suffer in the worst way possible for them for eternity, moving the Djinn to a seperate universe during this.
They immediatly become a Type 3 civilization and control the Milky Way. But they're STILL fundamentalist morons.sketerpot wrote:I wish that barbaric cultures that do crazy shit like shunning rape victims would advance to a more civilized state.
You are granted the death I hope to have, killed by a nuklear ICBM hitting you, the physical impact not the explosion) and then everything near you but the Djinn is obliterated. You lucky bastard.McNum wrote:They immediatly become a Type 3 civilization and control the Milky Way. But they're STILL fundamentalist morons.sketerpot wrote:I wish that barbaric cultures that do crazy shit like shunning rape victims would advance to a more civilized state.
Hmm... Let's try a classic:
I wish to have extremely good luck.
Unfortunately, Djinn curses are not pure. you are subsequently blasted into bite-sized chunks as the Djinn causes a 10-foot wide curse resistant amulet to form inside your intestines.Kurgan wrote:(Uses a friend's idea) I would wish for a pure curse-resistant amulet that would grant me infinite wishes.
With infinite wishes now I can screw over anyone else should I so choose...
"Good luck with that, you BM scum!"Chardok wrote:I wish SEGNOR would admit defeat and the Black mages would reign supreme.
Granted. Unfortunately, it's made of antimatter. You and a not inconsiderable portion of Michigan are blown into the stratosphere.Darth Garden Gnome wrote:"Good luck with that, you BM scum!"Chardok wrote:I wish SEGNOR would admit defeat and the Black mages would reign supreme.
Chardok looks confused for a moment, "Huh?"
The "Djinn" pulls of his mask, revealing that it was actually Darth Garden Gnome the whole time, and that he is wielding a nasty looking GOLDEN KNIFE! amongst other things. Chardok's brutally mauled and maimed corpse is found days later; the cause of the death, police report, was unknown.
On a similar topic, I wish for a really big knife. As part of the conditions of the wish, I don't want it appearing in me, or having stabbed/thrown/otherwise inserted into my body. I wish for it to appear on a table next to me by its lonesome. A really big knife.
Unfortunately in order to accomplish this goal, they cryogenically freeze your ass and put you on the moon.Lord of the Farce wrote:
Hmmm... Now, I wish that all beings of the universe becomes submissive to me, and they will all attempt to prevent any harm to come to me though action and/or inaction.
You change your mind about that when you discover a rib sticking out your side. You are rushed to the hospital, but a weird fundamentlist Christian group decides to take over the city at about that time. They fail, but they do manage to set fire to the hospital because it treats gay AIDS patients. To escape the flames, you jump out the window onto a trampoline that just happened to be there. You have recovered enough strength to walk, but just then the Green Bay Packers fall on top of you. You die from a kinetic energy overdose.RedImperator wrote:I wish I were a starting NFL linebacker.
