OT: The Make a Wish Game!

Jessie Stamos · Post by **Jessie Stamos** » 2004-08-27 12:02am

Thirdfain wrote: I wish for a bank card which never runs out

But it turns our Iraqi Dinars aren't worth much anymore.

CDiehl · Post by **CDiehl** » 2004-08-27 12:04am

You receive china, a full set of it. It's all in an ugly pattern neither you nor anyone else likes, you can't get rid of it and you're compelled to use it at every meal.

I wish I could summon a second body at will, which I can control simultaneously with my own, so I would have two bodies with one mind for both.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2004-08-27 12:06am

CDiehl wrote:I wish I could summon a second body at will, which I can control simultaneously with my own, so I would have two bodies with one mind for both.

Unfortunately, that one mind is split between two bodies. The result? Twin vegetables.

I wish for tickets to the next Superbowl.

Jessie Stamos · Post by **Jessie Stamos** » 2004-08-27 12:07am

CDiehl wrote: I wish I could summon a second body at will, which I can control simultaneously with my own, so I would have two bodies with one mind for both.

Despite your best attempts at blocking the feeling, your two selves fall madly in love with each other and you cannot stop having mad sex with yourselves.

Jessie Stamos · Post by **Jessie Stamos** » 2004-08-27 12:08am

Darth Garden Gnome wrote: I wish for tickets to the next Superbowl.

Due to a space/time anamoly, the game is played between the 1976 Buccaneers and the 1990 Patriots.

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2004-08-27 12:29am

Jessie Stamos has to attend said game with the Garden Gnome from Travelocity.

I wish for Traci Bingham to fuck me like there's no tomorrow.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2004-08-27 12:37am

Cal Wright wrote:Jessie Stamos has to attend said game with the Garden Gnome from Travelocity.

I wish for Traci Bingham to fuck me like there's no tomorrow.

And sure enough, THERE IS NO TOMORROW.

I wish that I make a great scientific discovery that improves the lives of billions of people and gets me a Nobel Prize.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2004-08-27 12:40am

Mayabird wrote:
Cal Wright wrote:Jessie Stamos has to attend said game with the Garden Gnome from Travelocity.

I wish for Traci Bingham to fuck me like there's no tomorrow.
And sure enough, THERE IS NO TOMORROW.

I wish that I make a great scientific discovery that improves the lives of billions of people and gets me a Nobel Prize.

You discover, via personal experience, what it's like to die via spontaneously transforming into equal parts matter and antimatter. The nobel prize is posthumous.

I wish to die peacefully after a well-lived life.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2004-08-27 12:47am

SirNitram wrote:
Mayabird wrote:
And sure enough, THERE IS NO TOMORROW.

I wish that I make a great scientific discovery that improves the lives of billions of people and gets me a Nobel Prize.
You discover, via personal experience, what it's like to die via spontaneously transforming into equal parts matter and antimatter. The nobel prize is posthumous.

I wish to die peacefully after a well-lived life.

I thought Nobel Prizes weren't posthumous.

Well then...you discover that there IS a hell, and God was REALLY pissed at you, and you must spend an eternity tormented by trolls, unable to respond and always suffering from their stupidity.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2004-08-27 12:49am

Oh yeah, a wish and such.

I wish that I had a brand new clarinet and a box of reeds.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-08-27 12:52am

SirNitram wrote:You discover, via personal experience, what it's like to die via spontaneously transforming into equal parts matter and antimatter. The nobel prize is posthumous.

I wish to die peacefully after a well-lived life.

Uh, I don't think you can get the nobel prize posthumously. Unless the changed the rules recently.

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2004-08-27 12:53am

The clarinet is missing parts and the reeds were all broken during shipping.

I wish Superman exists now, that he is just as good hearted as he is in the comics and tries to help the world, and that none of his enemies or any villian from anywhere comes to life along with him.

Jessie Stamos · Post by **Jessie Stamos** » 2004-08-27 01:08am

FaxModem1 wrote: I wish Superman exists now, that he is just as good hearted as he is in the comics and tries to help the world, and that none of his enemies or any villian from anywhere comes to life along with him.

You become Lois, and Brodie wasn't lying.

I wish vanilla was as good as chocolate.

Jessie Stamos · Post by **Jessie Stamos** » 2004-08-27 01:10am

neoolong wrote: Uh, I don't think you can get the nobel prize posthumously. Unless the changed the rules recently.

A Djinn doesn't care about rules.

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2004-08-27 03:46am

Jessie Stamos wrote:I wish vanilla was as good as chocolate.

Vanilla does become as good as chocolate only no one cares because the world feels that mint is better. Both chocolate and vanilla flavours are discontinued.

I wish all Djinn were bound to obey my every command.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-08-27 03:43pm

Mark S wrote:
Jessie Stamos wrote:I wish vanilla was as good as chocolate.
Vanilla does become as good as chocolate only no one cares because the world feels that mint is better. Both chocolate and vanilla flavours are discontinued.

I wish all Djinn were bound to obey my every command.

Your wish turns out fine, until you utter the words "Fuck me" in response to something you see. The largest Djinn on human gangbang in the history of the universe ensues, and since your mouth is constantly full, you can't issue any more commands. The rest of your natural lifespan is spent choking on rancid Djinn choad, as they don't have permission to tke a shower and clean off their ball-cheese. If you had them grant you immortality prior to this, well, eternity is kind of going to suck for ya.

My wish. I wish for unrepentant stupidity to be cause for instant mystical decapitation.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2004-08-27 03:50pm

consequences wrote:My wish. I wish for unrepentant stupidity to be cause for instant mystical decapitation.

Well that's an awfully stupid thing to waste a wish on, eh? Your head pops right off.

I wish for a Star Destroyer, with a full compliment of shuttles, fighters and ground vehicles, as well a unquestionably loyal and competent crew under my command.

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2004-08-27 04:09pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:I wish for a Star Destroyer, with a full compliment of shuttles, fighters and ground vehicles, as well a unquestionably loyal and competent crew under my command.

Unfortunately the SD, shuttles and ground vehicles are made of cardboard and the crew is also unquestionably a bunch of drooling morons that can't tie their shoes.

I wish I was the sole inventor of a working cold fussion generator, with all patent rights.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-08-27 04:31pm

DGG: My sacrifice was not in vain!

Mark S wrote:
Darth Garden Gnome wrote:I wish for a Star Destroyer, with a full compliment of shuttles, fighters and ground vehicles, as well a unquestionably loyal and competent crew under my command.
Unfortunately the SD, shuttles and ground vehicles are made of cardboard and the crew is also unquestionably a bunch of drooling morons that can't tie their shoes.

I wish I was the sole inventor of a working cold fussion generator, with all patent rights.

Congratulations you now have a patent for cold fussion, the ability to combine whiny bitching into a potent bitchfest mechanically. You earn no money from this, and die a penniless old man.

Presuming you meant cold fusion, the oil conglomerates band together to kill you and everyone related to you, before producing a forged will that gives them ownership of your property after your demise.

I wish that a giant asteroid hit the backside of the moon, knocking it out of orbit into the Earth, causing it to spiral into the sun, with there not being a darned thing anyone can do to prevent it.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2004-08-27 05:02pm

Skelron wrote:As for my Wish, hmm this is difficult let me see... Ahh i wish to be a Mage, much like those from D&D.

With an evil laugh, the entity before you snaps its fingers, and you are crushed as flat as a piece of paper - specifically, you become a replica of pages 317 and 318 of the Dungeons and Dragons players handbook, with the statistics of a first level mage written on it. Due to irony, he gives you a "ring of three wishes." Magically, you remain mentally yourself throughout this time.

Last poster wrote:I wish that a giant asteroid hit the backside of the moon, knocking it out of orbit into the Earth, causing it to spiral into the sun, with there not being a darned thing anyone can do to prevent it.

Alas, the Djinn tells everyone it was you, and before everyone else dies, you are subjected to the cruellest tortures a doomed society can do to you as the asteroid coasts toward the moon...

I wish the Djinn out of existance...

Skelron · Post by **Skelron** » 2004-08-27 08:50pm

You get your wish... and it is no longer in existence, but since the Bottle needs an a Djinn you become the Djinn...

In honour of the last poster...

I was I was a Yngir specifically the deciever and have all powers and abilities he has... As well as having no guilt.

Thirdfain · Post by **Thirdfain** » 2004-08-27 08:58pm

I wish that a giant asteroid hit the backside of the moon, knocking it out of orbit into the Earth, causing it to spiral into the sun, with there not being a darned thing anyone can do to prevent it.

It happens. You survive through an unconstitutionally unlikely chain of events, and find yourself in a tiny space capsule, with no food and no one to talk to. The good news is, you go insane a couple hours before you die of thirst.

I wish I could speak fluent French ANd English!

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2004-08-27 09:31pm

Thirdfain wrote: I wish I could speak fluent French ANd English!

You go around bragging that you can speak fluent English and French and do so, pissing off both French speakers and English speakers. One day, they gang up and knock you out, then mail you to an out-of-the-way jungle in Papua New Guinea where only tribal languages are spoken, and your linguistic skills avail you not.

I wish I was telekinetic.

Quoth the little creampuff guy in Rejected:"This is fun!"

sketerpot · Post by **sketerpot** » 2004-08-27 10:44pm

Mayabird wrote:I wish I was telekinetic.

You discover Hidebinder's Third Law of Telekinesis: for every telekinetic action there is a much greater and randomly-directed reaction. You knock the earth into the sun while trying to pour yourself some orange juice by levitating the pitcher. You naturally try to stop your fall into the sun by using your shiny new telekinetic powers, flinging you out into space (and royally screwing over Jupiter, but nobody cares about it). It seems that in the heat of the moment, you forgot to do anything about the earth's atmosphere, and your hastily contrived plans for dealing with explosive decompression flee from your mind as you experience it. This is why telekinesis is not common: those who get it don't keep it long.

I wish for a pet giant land octopus.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2004-08-27 11:02pm

sketerpot wrote: I wish for a pet giant land octopus.

Ultros the octopus (for he turns out to be your "pet" octopus) dumps his massive debt from the Coliseum on you and runs. Unable to pay the millions of gil to pay off the debt, you are forced to work all day and night at minimum wage at the Coliseum in Ultros' place. For the next several centuries.

I wish my marching band could do that classic video game music show that Nintendo wouldn't give us permission to do.