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Some of you might've come across my rants on the theorized purpose of the Death Star, involving Palpatine making Sith holocrons out of billions of orphans crushed in the Death Star's cavernous pits (that are actually giant juicing machines), with those orphans being orphaned because Palpatine has the Death Star superlaser the planets their parents are on...

But I just realized that BY GAWD KING! This is the true purpose of Palpatine! After he gobbled the holocron, which is again made out of the distilled and crystallized essences of said orphans, he would BECOME the Death Star! He'd Akira all over the place, his flesh and tissues going BLLUUUEEARRRGGGHHH and growing all over the halls and the hull and the caverns and reactors, his ORGANS would fuse throughout the Death Star... and eventually the Death Star would've EXPLODED and a gigantic Unicron-sized Palpatine would hatch out of the battlestation LIKE AN EGG! THE DEATH STAR IS A GIANT BALUT (NSFW)!

That is the ultimate form of Sith Alchemy, the perfection of Darth Plagueis the Wise's mastery on the creation of life through midichlorians themselves!

Crossposted from and inspired by: Come up with mecha series

Shroom Man 777 wrote:Some of you might've come across my rants on the theorized purpose of the Death Star, involving Palpatine making Sith holocrons out of billions of orphans crushed in the Death Star's cavernous pits (that are actually giant juicing machines), with those orphans being orphaned because Palpatine has the Death Star superlaser the planets their parents are on...

But I just realized that BY GAWD KING! This is the true purpose of Palpatine! After he gobbled the holocron, which is again made out of the distilled and crystallized essences of said orphans, he would BECOME the Death Star! He'd Akira all over the place, his flesh and tissues going BLLUUUEEARRRGGGHHH and growing all over the halls and the hull and the caverns and reactors, his ORGANS would fuse throughout the Death Star... and eventually the Death Star would've EXPLODED and a gigantic Unicron-sized Palpatine would hatch out of the battlestation LIKE AN EGG! THE DEATH STAR IS A GIANT BALUT (NSFW)!

That is the ultimate form of Sith Alchemy, the perfection of Darth Plagueis the Wise's mastery on the creation of life through midichlorians themselves!

Crossposted from and inspired by: Come up with mecha series

I really hope there's some way you can fit a "KAAAAAAAAAAAAANEDA" and a "TEEEETSUOOOOOOO" somewhere in there. Or something similar. I don't care really. That being said...I think the DS had a more pragmatic purpose. To scare the shit out of anyone thinking about trying to fight the Empire. You know...like the nuclear bomb was once upon a time and the H bomb after. Think nuclear deterance and détente but with planet killers.

Bevel Lemelisk still part of the storyline or has that been deemed non-canon? I need to know for the next bit.

There can be SNAAAAKES and LIQUID! and whatnot!

No man, the Death Star was totally part of an obscene Sith alchemical ritual for OMNIVERSAL DOMINATION!

Aleister Crowley wrote:

Shroom Man 777 wrote:Some of you might've come across my rants on the theorized purpose of the Death Star, involving Palpatine making Sith holocrons out of billions of orphans crushed in the Death Star's cavernous pits (that are actually giant juicing machines), with those orphans being orphaned because Palpatine has the Death Star superlaser the planets their parents are on...

But I just realized that BY GAWD KING! This is the true purpose of Palpatine! After he gobbled the holocron, which is again made out of the distilled and crystallized essences of said orphans, he would BECOME the Death Star! He'd Akira all over the place, his flesh and tissues going BLLUUUEEARRRGGGHHH and growing all over the halls and the hull and the caverns and reactors, his ORGANS would fuse throughout the Death Star... and eventually the Death Star would've EXPLODED and a gigantic Unicron-sized Palpatine would hatch out of the battlestation LIKE AN EGG! THE DEATH STAR IS A GIANT BALUT (NSFW)!

That is the ultimate form of Sith Alchemy, the perfection of Darth Plagueis the Wise's mastery on the creation of life through midichlorians themselves!

Crossposted from and inspired by: Come up with mecha series

I really hope there's some way you can fit a "KAAAAAAAAAAAAANEDA" and a "TEEEETSUOOOOOOO" somewhere in there. Or something similar. I don't care really. That being said...I think the DS had a more pragmatic purpose. To scare the shit out of anyone thinking about trying to fight the Empire. You know...like the nuclear bomb was once upon a time and the H bomb after. Think nuclear deterance and détente but with planet killers.

Bevel Lemelisk still part of the storyline or has that been deemed non-canon? I need to know for the next bit.

Listen, you're new here, so you get this advice (and only this - Merlin help you elsewhere, especially Testing) - Shroom here is something special and wonderful and hilarious and crazy-awesome. He's the forum equivalent of Leeroy Jenkins that wins rather than dying horribly. Trying to argue such minor things as logic and reasoning are completely futile. When he posts something like this, expanding on his glorious Sith Alchemy ideas, they are not for discussion or debating, just enjoyment.

Thus Sayeth the Dalek.

It's disappointing that one who would vainly use the name of the most evil man who ever lived would have such... limited vision. Tsk... tsk... tsk.

"Sith alchemy?" Is that you, Blackhole?