Weird, awesome, or just absurd gaming stories.

GEC: Discuss gaming, computers and electronics and venture into the bizarre world of STGODs.

Moderator: Thanas

Post Reply
User avatar
The Romulan Republic
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 21349
Joined: 2008-10-15 01:37am

Weird, awesome, or just absurd gaming stories.

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2019-05-08 03:00am

This thread is a place for... well, the title is pretty self-explanatory. Basically anything that doesn't fit in the "gaming conversations" thread.

I'll post the story that inspired this thread to start things off. I was just playing Medieval: Total War as England (single player). Portugal had staged an invasion of Britain, landing in Wales and Ireland. I was short on units in the area, but they only had a single unit (a general and his bodyguard) besieging my settlement in Ireland, so I figured I'd just send my King, who happened to be nearby, over with his larger bodyguard to take care of the problem. At first he seemed to be winning, but things started to turn against him somehow, and in the end, he died.

I then sent another general over, figuring that he ought to be able to take care of the depleted bodyguard of the Portuguese general, who he now outnumber by two or three to one. Silly me. The two bodyguards fought, with the battle swinging back and forth, until it came down to the two generals having a one-on-one duel, after every single other soldier on both sides fell (I honestly think that might be the first time I've ever seen a one-on-one general duel in Total War). Finally, after a prolonged duel, I lost a second general to Lord Bad Ass of Portugal. At that point though he only had two units in his bodyguard (himself and one other who had apparently recovered from his injuries in the last fight). So then I marched the Irish settlement's garrison out (a unit of mercenary crossbows). Bodyguard charges crossbows, with the second guy falling and the Portuguese general reaching my crossbowmen. He kills a bunch of crossbowmen, retreats, then charges again, and finally goes down to mass crossbow fire just before reaching my lines.

The crossbow company's captain got a well-merited promotion to the nobility for his victory.
"I know its easy to be defeatist here because nothing has seemingly reigned Trump in so far. But I will say this: every asshole succeeds until finally, they don't. Again, 18 months before he resigned, Nixon had a sky-high approval rating of 67%. Harvey Weinstein was winning Oscars until one day, he definitely wasn't."-John Oliver

"The greatest enemy of a good plan is the dream of a perfect plan."-General Von Clauswitz, describing my opinion of Bernie or Busters and third partiers in a nutshell.


User avatar
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 27004
Joined: 2004-01-02 07:04pm
Location: Industrial armpit of the US Midwest

Re: Weird, awesome, or just absurd gaming stories.

Post by Broomstick » 2019-05-08 07:03am

I've been playing World of Warcraft for... oh, has it been 14 years already? There have been many weird and bizarre events in the game. Some bugs. Some riding the elevator up to Thunderbluff watching people in full plate armor fall past us to the ground, along with people in cloth attire and sheep going BAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa to, well, the following:

Without going into a long background essay, for reasons of Rogue type character progression there was this guy in a bar in the city of Ogrimmar. Normally, your own faction's NPC's are totally unattackable by yourself, but baby Rogues need a guy to practice pick-pocketing with and that was Gamon, who was the only Horde NPC that was attackable. He was low level, around level 14 if I recall (this in game that at the time of this story had a max cap of 85). He had to be that low so a fumbling Rogue had a chance to survive. Of course, given he was vulnerable he became a butt-monkey of sorts and random Horde people of high level would sometimes wander through and one-shot the poor guy. He was sort of pathetic - no wonder he spent all his time drinking in a bar - this 8 foot tall minotaur type guy ("Tauran") who kept getting his ass kicked by Elf mages in fancy dresses and random zombies Foresaken. I mean, getting mugged by an Orc is one thing, but getting mugged by a dead guy? And losing?

Anyhow, this thing caused Cataclysm happened game-wide (it was a new expansion) and apparently, in addition to Thousand Needles flooding, Desolace starting to bloom, dogs and cats living together, and the Alliance teaming up with Victorian werewolves the Kingdom of Gilneas, Gamon took a level in bad-ass. Several in fact. Several dozen.

Gamon is now a boss. It takes three or more level 80 raider types to kill him. The inn in which he resides is soon floored with the corpses of people who were going to stop by to one-shot him /LOL. No, that's not the story.

Shortly after the Cataclysm Expansion hit a group of Alliance decided to raid Orgrimmar. Looked to be a raid group, that's about 20 well-geared high-level folks who are used to working as a team, they probably intended to go after the faction leaders, that's the usually goal of a city raid. Anyhow, the usual response is for anyone and everyone in the city to either (if you're low level) get out of Dodge or to take arms and go RAAAAAAH! So these things quickly become 20 or so vs. then entire population of a city (that, by the way, is what was going on when it was raining men - and sheep - in Thunderbluff). It's sort of like how the Vikings envisioned Valhalla. At that time there were enough people in Orgrimmar to drive the Alliance raid into the Auction House where the doorway became a choke-point, limiting how many Horde could get into the Auction House and enabling the Alliance to pick them off as they tried to enter. A few very, very well geared folks on the Horde side managed to get inside but at 20:1 or 20:few the odds were against them surviving long.

Then three folks gets the bright idea to bring Gamon into the fight.

Two of them hit Gamon then run out of the bar, drawing him after them, while a healer tries to keep up with the damage Gamon is causing. All three of them run into the Auction House (thereby sacrificing themselves for the Glory of Orgrimmar and/or the Horde). With the initial three adversaries dead Gamon should stop being GAMON SMASH! and go back to the bar, but they ran into a location with a wide-open battle going on, including stuff that doesn't just hit a specific target but sprays random death and destruction. The initial irritation gone, Gamon then turns on the new irritant...

Body parts everywhere. Corpses literally piling up. It was the Incredible Fucking Hulk On Steroids.

Horde side starts healing Gamon. Because he's targetable, they can do that.

So, you have 20 or more top level Alliance fighting against what is, basically a Boss. Who is backed by an entire city of the opposition - not just player characters but also the NPC city guards. And now the top-level Horde raiders in the city have joined the fight and are healing the boss....

Damn, that went on for at least 20 fucking minutes. It didn't stop until the Alliance characters gave up trying to resurrect and just stayed dead once they were cut down. The Auction House was filled with literally hundreds of skeletons and about 20 dead bodies (after you resurrect your former corpse leaves a skeleton behind that lingers for awhile). They never did kill Gamon. After it's all over he comes out of the Auction House with just a few hundred hit point left (out of the million and a half he'd been given with the upgrade), went back to the bar, and resumed drinking.

Best damn fucking boss fight I've ever been involved with.
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. Leonard Nimoy.

Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy

Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice

User avatar
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1798
Joined: 2010-05-03 06:19pm
Location: New England

Re: Weird, awesome, or just absurd gaming stories.

Post by Imperial528 » 2019-05-08 01:23pm

Here is the story of my first time playing Crusader Kings II, with the CK2 Plus mod. It's something of a ramble, in part due to the nature of the game itself. I hope some of you find it entertaining, at least.

Myself and two friends (henceforth MX and Bubs) start in the mid 11th century (1060 IIRC) as patriarchs in the Merchant Republic of Raugia. For fun we used the ruler designer to create custom characters. MX was Gabriel Pyrrogenes, geared towards scholarship and intrigue, and I forget who Bubs was, but he does not much factor into this story.

My character is to be Tiberios Mencetic, a vicious cannibal of a man who is very, very good at killing people. I had dumped everything I could into martial, and mostly forsaken other stats. As a result of this, I soon became hated by many people. One such person even challenged me to a duel, and was naturally cut down in short order. I picked up the duelist trait from this experience, and soon began using my newfound power to challenge others as a way to rapidly eliminate my enemies.

Despite being such a brutal and violent man, Tiberios did manage to get married to an Arabic woman, Anahita. I forget exactly which country she came from. They had a rocky relationship, particularly because Anahita found Tiberios' duels to be dangerous and careless.

Our general plan, as set by MX, is that we are a group of pagans. Specifically we follow the Hellenic heresy of Promethianism, and our goal at the start is to lay claim by scheme or conquest to the holy land of Athenai alongside two other holy sites, so that we may rebuild the First Academy.

For that to occur, Gabriel Pyrrogenes needs to become the Archon of Raugia. Archons are elected from the Patriarchs of the Republic, based on their prestige and how much money they have spent to campaign. The standing Archon's house is also in this race, but it is the heir, not the Patriarch, who qualifies. This is because Archon is a title held for life.

During the progress of this scheme, Anahita became pregnant, to much joy on Tiberios' part, and much displeasure on his many enemies' part.

MX designed his character to have high learning and scheming, and had set himself well ahead of all the other houses in terms of prestige. Yet there was one small problem: Archon Cvijetin is by no means elderly. Fortunately, Gabriel Pyrrogenes is friends with a murderous madman. One quick duel later, and the Archon is dead. Long live Archon Pyrrogenes.

Shortly after this Anahita gives birth to a daughter, Adriane. There is much rejoicing.

Alas, tragedy strikes, as Anahita is murdered. Despite having little interest in intrigue, Tiberios manages to discover the identity of the one responsible for the plot. A lowly woman in his court, by the name Pulcheria. As is in his nature, Tiberios challenges her to a duel.

She did better than most, but still died. Though saddened by the loss of his wife, Tiberios has achieved vengeance. And, this latest duel advanced his fighting ability to that of a Formidable Fighter.

Deprived of his wife, Tiberios is left to raise his daughter alone. Tiberios does not know much of the world, but he does know the art of swordsmanship. And though he is a cruel, violent man, he is a fair one, and sees no reason why his daughter cannot become as skilled in the ways of killing as he is. Adriane takes well to his instruction, showing promise that she may one day be a warrior herself.

Several duels later, a fair number of them at the behest of Archon Pyrrogenes as part of some schemes, and Raugia is ready to go to war for the Holy Land of Athenai. Tiberios, being one of the best warriors in the world, is picked as Raugia's marshal and will lead the Republic's armies. Around this time, Tiberios has found little success in finding a second wife, and must face the possibility that he may never have a son. This is not a problem for Tiberios: if Adriane can wield a sword, then she can be the heir to house Mencetic. This greatly increases Adriane's opinion of her father.

The campaign in Greece goes well. Alas, during the battle for Athenai, Tiberios suffers a grevious wound, losing one of his legs. Still he leads from the front, and manages to corner the enemy commander, Komes Tomas of Abydos. Despite hoping around on one leg, Tiberious slays Tomas easily.

Sadly, Tiberios dies of infection. His epitaph is as follows:
Mayor Tiberios has ascended to Heaven at age 49. He died succumbing to his severe injuries. A Greedy man, he often remarked on the need to tax his people into space. A wicked man, Tiberios will surely pay for his sins in the afterlife.
And so the realm of Mencetic is left in the hands of Adriane, a girl of only twelve years old. Fortunately her father's warhammer, given to him by his friend and lord, Archon Pyrrogenes, was recovered from the battlefield and deliver safely to her treasury.

Lady Adriane faces many challenges. As a child she has no where near the skill of her father, except in the areas that he completely neglected, and the realm suffers for this. Still, Archon Pyrrogenes is there to assist, offering to educate her, and in anticipation that she may be as skilled as her father, implementing into law that women may become Marshals in the Republic of Raugia.

Adriane benefits from Gabriel's guidance, becoming adept in scheming and deceit, at least compared to her father. The war is concluded successfully, and Archon Gabriel is able to rebuild the First Academy, proclaiming himself as Scholarch.

In the year of 1092 Adriane becomes of age, finishing her education as a Skilled Tactician, and deciding to forgo the traditional life of a woman for the time, becoming a Martial Lady. Though her Martial skill is not yet as high as her father's, it well surpasses the other lords of Raugia, and she is made Marshal and sent to instruct the troops. Doing so, she is able to improve the skills of many of the realm's commanders.

Following further in her father's footsteps, Lady Adriane becomes a strategist and duelist, eliminating many nobles who proved problematic to the designs of Scholarch Gabriel. Alas, Scholarch Gabriel succumbed to old age, and the position of Archon passed to another house.

This would not do, of course. Bub's first character had died and some point, and he was now playing as his daughter, who was next in line for Archon. At some point we also went from being the Republic of Raugia to the Republic of Ragusa, but that doesn't really matter. What matters is that for our plans to continue, the Archon must be a player.

So, naturally, Lady Adriane challenges the incoming Archon Maroje of Dubrovnik to a duel. He perishes, of course, and as it turns out, he had no living heirs, thus ending his line. As fate would have it, Maroje was also the son of Archon Cvijetin. Killing Archons has now been firmly established as a Mencetic family tradition. Bub's current character, Marina Maximianus, becomes the Dogaressa of Ragusa.

Lady Adriane lives a fairly interesting life. She marries one of Gabriel Pyrrogenes' non-heir sons, Sabas, who turns out to be a rather skilled character himself. Together they have three children: Tiberios, who was born while Adriane was leading her troops in a siege, Maximos, and Phillipa. Adriane falls ill with cancer, but with her husband Sabas as her court physician she is cured, though at the cost of her right eye. This does not affect her ability to duel significantly, and in fact leads to many of her future opponents underestimating her. She becomes known as Adriane The Ruthless, establishing another family tradition. Sabas unfortunately perishes during a diplomatic incident, though Adriane at least has three potential heirs, so remarrying is not a concern. Adriane continues building up the military might of her realm, which was vastly expanding by her conquests, however she unfortunately perishes to camp fever in the year 1120 at the age of 43. She is succeeded by her son Tiberios, who also dies of camp fever in the year 1121 at age 20.

Maximos comes to rule in a rough spot. The Aztecs have invaded Iceland and are stating to carve apart Britain. Then the Black Death sweeps through Europe, having started in Germany. It hurts everyone, even the Aztecs, though they still have their event spawn armies. MX is sadistically happy when the Black Death reaches India, having worried that the subcontinent would be spared the pain that the rest of the world had experienced. This turns into horror when it stays in India long enough to rebound to the Middle East and back into Europe. Fortunately the three of us all miraculously survive, as do our heirs.

More bad news as the Aztecs invent guns.

Maximos fails to become quite as good of a general as his ancestors, though he is a skilled duelist and continues the family tradition of being known as The Ruthless.

The Aztecs conquer Constantinople, and several surrounding lands in the process. We are only spared because Ragusa is considered part of Croatia, and Croatia was not in the Aztec war goals against the Byzantines. MX's character at the time, who I forget the name of, is quite the scholar and schemer, and tries to find out how to kill the Aztec Emperor. Maximos, though not as skilled as his mother or grandfather, tries to challenge the Emperor to a duel, but for the first time in the game the AI was smart and rejected it. MX starts a plot on the Emperor's life and turns on auto-invite.

Alas, Maximos dies in 1140 at the age of 35 while trying to achieve immortality, bitten by a venomous snake. Like his brother and grandfather before him, his epitaph proclaims how he will surely pay for his sins in the afterlife. The realm of house Mencetic, Salerno, passes to his daughter, Adriane II.

The Aztecs take a heavy hit, as enslaved Europeans spread smallpox across the Atlantic. Alas, the Aztecs remain the strongest military power on the continent.

Adriane II is quite progressive as Mayor of Salerno, reforming many laws (overturning one such law that apparently allowed barons to rape virgin serf women) despite the ire it draws from some in her court. Like her grandmother before her, she too becomes a Martial Lady who is quite skilled in combat and strategy.

MX's plot succeeds, and finally the Aztecs are put on roughly equal footing for a power of their size with the death of their Emperor. This plot involved the cooperation of half the lords in Europe when it finally came to fruition.

And that was pretty much it. We didn't come back to that game, in part because of how messed up the state of Europe had become, and in part because of changes to the mods we were using. Still, it was quite an experience, even if I only touched the surface of the features the game has to offer.

User avatar
Sith Marauder
Posts: 4799
Joined: 2003-06-26 04:24pm
Location: Texas

Re: Weird, awesome, or just absurd gaming stories.

Post by TheFeniX » 2019-05-08 02:13pm

Dan was our "CoD King." He just played Modern Warfare that much. He held on the longest after MW2 came out. Anyways, he had a pretty ridiculous K:D of 3:1 over tons of games, which is pretty respectable. So, I had finally set my brother-in-law up on a 360 and was showing him the ropes in a game. Doing things like slicing around corners, constantly panning as I moved. There's a lag between the aim-assist and it showing enemy "nameplates." So, I was showing him how you can get a "feel" for when the camera slows down... just a bit, know there's an enemy, pan back just a bit, and put some rounds out. I got more than a few kills this way.

I keep going, and get a solid setup position in one of the few maps with TWO points of egress, which is rare for a CoD map since they are generally well designed. This allowed me to "work" a small area after kills (so as to not give my position away by camping) and kill the next guy who rounds the corner. I end up, in the first game on his account, going 35 and 1.

My Brother-in-Law is nowhere to be seen. After watching me play for 5-10 minutes, he passed out for 2 hours due to motion sickness because the way I play. And he never played the game himself after getting motion-sick just from watching it (he instead played Left 4 Dead with his wife). So, to this day in CoD: MW, Dan is stuck at 2nd place in the K:D friends list ranking and he's brought it up more than a few times over the years because "you should play some more games for him" or "is he ever going to play?"

So a man with 0 games played on CoD:MW: has a 35:1 K/D. And Dan couldn't be more annoyed about it.

User avatar
Jedi Knight
Posts: 973
Joined: 2005-03-24 11:55am
Location: McPherson, Kansas

Re: Weird, awesome, or just absurd gaming stories.

Post by Zwinmar » 2019-05-09 12:09am

We were playing AD&D, which for me, means that the die rolls low when I need it high, and high when it needs to be low. This was omnipresent, so much so that my Mage died constantly. We were all getting real tired of this so eventually the DM made the character a demilich so that I didn't have to roll up a new character three times a session. As a result of these bad rolls, I had to get creative:

The Mage is attacked off his mount, a carpet I think, mid air, so feather-fall. He looks up to see an ancient red dragon diving at him to swallow with a (storm I think) giant fully armed and armored on its back. Of course, I have to think quick. So, he casts a variation of the Wall of Force spell, namely, a Sphere, around himself. Now, this surprised the DM as he had forgotten about this variant, and, as per an earlier ruling, walls of force are transparent. Of course, the dragon tries to take a bite and then I remind the DM that Wall of Force is an immovable object...

...A couple rolls later and the dragon is in a flat spin heading ground-ward with a mortal gaping hole in its neck, while the giant is draped over the sphere, having died on impact. Of course, now I am in a quandary, I have a giant ready to crush when the sphere is cancelled. So, cast fly and hope I make it out of the way.

User avatar
Jedi Knight
Posts: 551
Joined: 2016-02-28 08:15am

Re: Weird, awesome, or just absurd gaming stories.

Post by SolarpunkFan » 2019-05-09 01:54am

This one is short (it happened some time ago so I don't remember details very well).

I used to play SSB: Brawl over at a cousin's house, I enjoyed it even though I never really "won".

That changed one day when I was one of the two remaining players alive. I was playing as Captain Falcon and, while I was facing away from the other player character, did a Falcon Punch. In spite of the other player being on the other side of me he went flying off and lost his last life.

That was the first and only time I ever won at a console game.
This user is more interested in the sky than your voice.

"A black hole is like, this giant bunghole in outer space... it sucks up the whole universe, and then it's like, it grinds it up and sends it all to Hell or something." - Butt Head

User avatar
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 15612
Joined: 2002-07-09 04:51am
Location: 'Very' mildly hopeful now DC recognized taking Clark's red trunks away was a bad idea

Re: Weird, awesome, or just absurd gaming stories.

Post by Batman » 2019-05-09 05:42pm

One from the 'really' olden days-Red Storm Rising on the CBM64. I'm hunting a russian surface combat group. I can't find a bloody thing. I finally give in, go to periscope depth and turn on the radar. Yup, there they are, and every last one of them has not only seen me but decided to send me a present. I crash dive and somehow manage to evade all of that opening volley. The scenario proceeds and I manage to kill all but one of my primary targets, eating two torpedoes in the process. Not good, but if I get out of this I can still limp home for repairs.
I engage the final target. I hit her with 2 Mk48s, she's definitely sinking but still gets off a torpedo. I try my best but the torpedo eventually gets me (in this game 3 torpedo hits on your sub make you a fatality) just as the final target registers as destroyed and the scenario ends.

So there I am. No passive sonar, no active sonar, no towed sonar, nor radar, no periscope, 1 tube and 3 torpedoes left, I can make 5 knots if I don't mind them hearing me several star systems over but I'm alive.

HQ wants me to intercept an amphibious assault group headed for Norway.
'Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me. Real hard.'
'You're a princess from a society of immortal warriors. I'm a rich kid with issues. Lots of issues.'
'No. No dating for the Batman. It might cut into your brooding time.'
'Tactically we have multiple objectives. So we need to split into teams.'-'Dibs on the Amazon!'
'Hey, we both have a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt.'
'You know, for a guy with like 50 different kinds of vision, you sure are blind.'

Post Reply