Let's Play: Europa Universalis III

[Esquire]

What does one do with a preposterously over-complicated, but still fun game? Get others to enjoy it with you, of course. Can I interest anyone in a Let's Play? Applications for the positions of monarch, noble, advisor, general, admiral, court magician, and peanut gallery member will be considered.

Anybody interested should also suggest a country to play as--I was thinking of starting in 1399, the earliest possible, which leaves us with literally hundreds of possible choices, ranging from the very powerful (England, France, Ming China) to the utterly insignificant. Suggestions for countries can be as specific or as general as you like.

[Skgoa]

dibs on being the first ruler! I don't care about what country we play as, as long as it's not one of the major (and thus to easy) ones.

[The Vortex Empire]

Don't really care what role I am, but I suggest the Byzantine Empire. By this point, it was in pretty sorry shape, so let's do our best to restore the glory of Rome. Or more likely, all get murdered by Ottomans.

[DaZergRock54444]

Might I attempt a role as an advisor to our good monarch, if a limited one. I second the suggestion of the Byzantines, and desire most fully to bring the glory of Rome back to this sorry continent.

[Esquire]

So, that's two for the Byzantines and one for someone not easy. No disagreements here, from the looks of things. How long do you want the intervals to be? I can post screenshots and discussion material every game year, every couple months, every decade, etc - anybody have any ideas? I haven't done this before.

[Brother-Captain Gaius]

Just play naturally, and post the highlights.

I third the Byzantines. I shall be a general, who will no doubt die for no discernible reason after about 3 weeks stationed with an army.

[OmegaChief]

I too shall sign up to be a general, you can never have too many generals.

[Esquire]

Aye aye! I'll see if I can't get things started tonight, and we'll see who else drops in. If this goes anything like my other EU3 games, we'll have no shortage of places to fill.

[Force Lord]

Place me wherever you like, though personally I would like to be in a somewhat important position with whatever nation you place me in.

[d'Artagnan]

Is there still room for me? I'd be happy with whatever is available.

[Esquire]

There is indeed! I'm putting together the first post - we're a little low on named characters, but I can offer you a plethora of interchangable Anonymous Spy outfits.

[Esquire]

Constantinople, 14 October 1399

The story you are about to read is true. The names haven't been changed because there are no innocent people involved.



Byzantium. Once the great Eastern Roman Empire, now a rump state controlling a mere fraction of its old holdings. Thrace and Morea might not have stretched as far as one's eye could see, but at least they were something. The Emperor kept that in mind as he spoke with his spymaster a balcony of the Palace of the Porphyrogenitus in Constantinople. Over the rooftops of the Imperial city, Manuel II Palaiologos could make out the remains of the Great Palace, sacked by Crusaders centuries earlier. That had been the beginning of the end for the previous Imperial house, but Manuel had no intention of allowing Byzantium to fall further.

"My Lord Zimisces," he said, "tell me again how this will work."

"As Your Majesty commands. Athens is occupied by Venetian heretics, as Your Majesty knows, but not for long. My best men stand ready to lead the people in a revolt to restore Athens to its rightful allegiance - and then disappear, so as to prevent any tracing of the deed back to us." Iason Zimisces was the quintessential Byzantine spymaster: eyepatch, waxed black goatee, a tendency to appear silently and without warning whenever he was required. Truly a remarkable man, though he did make the Emperor slightly nervous at times.

"And how much will this cost? The treasury is stretched thin enough as it is."

"A trifling sum, Your Majesty, a trifling sum. Certainly nothing compared to the price of the regiments that might be lost on the crossing to Achaea."

"And I suppose it's no use asking you how you know about the invasions plans the Marshal and I were discussing behind locked doors and guards, Lord Zimisces?"

"One does one's best, Your Majesty." A positively oily smile gave the Emperor a desire to go wash his hands, but he resisted for the sake of propriety.

"Quite. See to it, then... and tell your men God will be with them."

"Your Majesty." Zimisces bowed and left the room without seeming to move.

Manuel looked out over the balcony again. The ships of his Navy were leaving port, carrying all the troops he could afford to have leave Thrace with them. Their destination: Achaea, soon to change from tiny nation to province of Byzantium.



Somehow, it had worked! The Army had - the Emperor blinked and shook his head furiously as the image of some gigantic metal apparatus like a huge rolling pin shooting steam appeared in his head - secured Achaea without fuss, and the rebellion led by Zimisces' spies had taken Athens within a few years. They'd done better, too; Janina and Larissa were also in rebel hands and Manuel hoped the two provinces would follow Athens' lead and join the Empire. Zimisces hadn't been idle while his men worked, either. A high-ranking officer in the Ottoman Sultan's close circle had been bribed into revealing troop locations - and then blackmailed into continuing to do so. Larissa would probably by retaken by the Ottoman army the traitor had reported moving down the coast, but Janina was the property of Naples, now, and they were far away and embroiled in a way with Sicily. There was hope there.



And that hope was fulfilled! A mere two years later Janina's rulers decided to ask Manuel to accept their land back into the Imperial fold, something he was only too happy to do. Naxos, which had been occupied by a splinter group of Zimisces' rebels, did the same. Southern Greece was once again in Imperial hands. The historians were already writing the tales down, and translating them into all the languages of the world. Including, oddly enough, English.






Out-Of-Character: Whew! Some very good luck with the spies, even though Venice hates us now. What's next? You all decide. Also, anybody who wants to play the Spymaster or the Emperor can go right ahead - I just wrote this bit to get things moving.

Here's how I think I'll do this: Discuss courses of action, and once you've decided on one I'll carry it out to the best of my ability. If you want any additional information just ask and I'll find it for you.

[The Vortex Empire]

I think I'll just be an advisor or something.

Well mi'lord, as long as we control Constantinople, we will survive, so we of course need to ensure that it is properly garrisoned at all times. The Empire will never survive the city falling a second time. I would suggest maintaining a significant force there, if we do not have one already, while we work on securing the rest of the Greek Peninsula. How much more powerful than our forces are the Ottoman armies in the area? If we can secure more regions through diplomacy and espionage, that's all well and good, but at some point we must engage our Turkish nemesis.

If possible, my Lord, securing alliances and trade with the Catholics to the west could play strongly to our advantage. Surely they must recognize that if we fall, there is nothing to stop the Ottomans from pushing straight into Central Europe, and perhaps even Italy! The Catholics may be heretics, but at least they aren't Muslim.

[Tritio]

My lord, I humbly suggest focusing our attentions of the Venetians, the traitorous and greedy scumbags. They hold our island of Crete - a strategic point in the eastern Mediterranean, and the province of Albania, neighbour to our existing holdings. It would be wise to build up our armies and navy and strike when the time is right - when the Venetians are embroiled in some other struggle.

[LaCroix]

Mi'lord, perhaps we should send out our 'special envoys' to seek out loyal citizens in the provinces of Zeta, Albania, Corfu and Rhodes. (OOC: Who is controlling them currently? Are they mini-states?) I do believe they could be convinced that there lies benefit in returning under our protective embrace. They might not be much, but they belong to us, and will strengthen our ability to field an adequate force to deal with the Ottoman aggressors.

If these reports are less than pleasing, we could alternatively try to make the Muselmans' living in their - rightfully Greek - provinces as... uncomfortable... as possible. They are currently facing problems in their eastern provinces, and our primary goal MUST be to force them back into the east. As long as they have Thrace surrounded, we are permanently endangered.

Me and my men stand by to obey your wishes...

[Thanas]

A blubbery advisor scoffs.

My Lord, I beg you not to listen to those who would want further quarrel with western powers. Our army, while proud, is nothing against their mercenary forces. Some of them might even field so-called men-at-arms, who will cut through both our cavalry and infantry.

I have looked upon our forces and found the following deficiencies:

We lack in quality. Though the feror of our troops is unmatched, both heretics and heathens field troops with better equipment than ours. However, if we take a few of their provinces, we might be able to field their troop types with little investment necessary. To do that, we of course need to conquer such provinces. The enemy has to be the turk. By taking his provinces, we shall not only regain lost lands, but also weaken our strongest rival.

The strategic situation is in our favor as long as we control the sea. If we keep the Turks on the other side of the Dardanelles, we would only face the paltry armies of their vassals wallachia and Serbia. Thus, my lord, I suggest we build a strong navy, which will not only benefit us now, but also benefit us in the future when the inevitable conflict with the west arises.

I have identified the most prudent course of action, which I hereby present as a humble offering to your Imperial Majesty:
- we shall start construction of two types of ships of the quality they call carracks. Hiring some portugese shipwrights would be the best here. The Ottomans have no such ships, nor can they built some with their current war economy. Two of these ships would anchor our fleet in battle and guarantee victory in any contest with the Turks, provided we
- built two-three cogs. These ships are sturdy and will defeat an Ottoman galley one-on-one. They also allow us to move large forces.

The Navy, my lord, will be the key to victory here. If we enact these plans of Naval expansion, victory on the seas will be assured. I suggest we start constructing these ships immediately in the Greek provinces.


Meanwhile, our army needs enlargement as well. We shall be easily able to afford 3 more cavalry and 6 more infantry regiments. I suggest we build these in Constantinople in a 1cav 2inf ratio.

To afford all these troops I suggest we expand. One of the smaller muslim sheikdoms on our lands may not be guaranteed by a greater muslim power and might stand alone - this is when we should strike.

But our first target of opportunity shall be Trebizond, assuming they stand alone. Our troops will gain valuable experience while besieging them and their standing army shall not be able to match our 3 (or 6 when the cogs are finished) regiments.

Do not fear Thrace being surrounded - as long as our Navy is enlarged and holds firm, we shall take the western provinces in any war.

[Skywalker_T-65]

(out of character: Can I be the navy commander?)

(In character): I agree with Advisor Thanas, we need to build up our Navy. The strongest Turk forces are across the Dardanelles, and a strong Navy will hold them there. I also agree that fighting the Western Powers is not to our advantage. They may not be unified, but their military's are too strong for us to handle right now. Our men would fight with a fervor unmatched by the enemy, but they need more training and better equipment first. And our Navy is not strong enough to carry our troops all the way to Venice. Though I do agree with Advisor Tritio about the traitorous Venetians being our first target once the Ottomans are out of the way.

Our Navy can, as Advisor Thanas suggested, be built up with Carracks and Cogs. I also agree that it would be prudent to hire Portuguese shipwrights for this job, as they have more experience than our shipwrights in building the aforementioned ships. As for the Army, we need to recruit from our more stable provinces, and try to convert as many others to our cause as possible. That is the end of my report.

Admiral Skywalker (OOC: Assuming you let me be the Admiral)

[Esquire]

OOC: Answering questions first:

@Vortex - the main Ottoman army was 13 regiments strong, but it's been whittled down by that giant Timurid force in Anatolia (red dots on black). Their Navy is about twice the size of ours but consists almost entirely of galleys; a few real ships of the line would make short work of them.

@ LaCroix - Corfu is a a vassal of Venice, as is Zeta (the nation of Macedonia). Rhodes is controlled by the Knights and is guaranteed by France, Austria, Venice, and Castille, and therefore well outside our power to take and hold. Albania is directly ruled by Venice, and might be a good target for spies.

[DaZergRock54444]

At this point, I agree with Advisor Thanas in expanding the military, but we must not forget to maintain the people at home.
Expanding and upgrading our cities within the realm of defensibility will be to our advantage, and any opportunities to functionally increase our income with as little detriment to the derivative of said income will allow further troop training and ship construction, and therefore more territory for us to bring back to the Imperial Fold.
Agitating the west seems to be a very poor choice as the main threat in the area is the Ottomans and then the Timurids that are marching through centeral Turkey, both of whom could conquer Constantinople with some effort - especially with Bithynia sitting right accross the Sea of Mamara.

[The Vortex Empire]

Advisor Thanas and I seem to be in general agreement then. Mi'Lord, as a long term goal, once we push the Ottoman heathens from Europe I suggest we focus on retaking the entirety of Anatolia. It was once our heartland, and the heathens have held it for too long. After the indignities the Empire has suffered at their hands, we should not rest until the Ottomans have been wiped from the face of the Earth.

[OmegaChief]

Advisor Thanas's plan seems best, I would advise that whatever our offensive ambitions are that we take care not to overextend ourselves, we've lost almost everything once before, lets not let it happen again.

[Esquire]

"Thank you for your input, My Lords." The Emperor took up a quill and signed the proposal before him. "And now, let us pray it works out as well as you hope."

The plan began with the construction of a pair of large ships - carracks, the Portugese shipwrights hired to build the things called them - that would anchor the Byzantine Navy and allow it to dominate the Dardanelles. As the Portugese were overseeing the middle phases of the construction, a trio of more traditional cogs were taking shape in Athens, Janina, and Naxos. Almost the moment the ships left their docks to join the fleet in Constantinople, the slice of the monthly budget that had been used for their construction was repurposed towards the recruitment of more cavalry from Thrace and Athens and infantry regiments from the other provinces. In late July of 1409, the time came to act.



The dreaded Turk was crumbling around the edges. A particularly vicious peace treaty forced on the Ottomans by Timur the Lame's armies led to revolts all over the territories on the West side of the Dardanelles, and Byzantium intervened to make sure they succeeded. The new navy prevented Turkish armies from crossing over to put the revolts down, and the Byzantine Army struck out from its camps in Athens and Thrace to occupy ancient Byzantine territory.

The war was over as quickly as it had begun, leaving the Empire with two new provinces and the Turks in even more dire straits than they had been. Manuel himself took the field in 1413, leading the Army of Thrace to victory against the Turkish troops in Macedonia - this next war was a violation of the truce that ended the last one, but the moment was too perfect to waste, in the view of the Emperor. Other nations agreed, it seemed - the Italian states offered war subsidies, which helped pay for mercenaries to put down the last Ottoman troops West of Anatolia. This treaty stripped the Ottomans of most of their European territories.






To conciliate the recently-Ottoman subjects, Manuel instituted policies to officially accept Turkish culture and traditions. It came just in time, as Mongol hordes swept out of the North to occupy much of the Empire. With the armies destroyed, Constantinople was about to fall - before a council of leading nobles came to the Emperor with an interesting proposal.



Noble-funded mercenaries joined with the remnants of the Army of Thrace and the freshly-recruited Army of Athens to beat back the hordes, and a peace treaty left things status quo. Four years later, the Emperor Manuel II passed away in his sleep, a victim of age as much as stress. His son Ionnes took the throne without fuss.


It was merely days after the coronation ceremony that the Ottomans declared war, citing Byzantine occupation of their former lands. The Navy kept their armies from interfering while the Army overran the last Ottoman holdouts in Europe, then ferried Imperial troops over to crush the Ottomans once and for all. Their remaining territories were annexed in 1425, leaving the historians with even more to write about.



OOC: Well, that went better than expected. Where to now?

[The Vortex Empire]

Before we agree upon a next move, I think we should assess the strengths of our neighbors to the north. The Mongols seems a particular concern. Whether or not there is an immediate danger of our gains being reversed, I suggest consolidating our holdings and rebuilding the armies. Once the Empire is in good shape, perhaps we can continue the push into Anatolia, mi'lord?

[Skywalker_T-65]

(OOC) So, we got back our European territory eh? That's better than I expected too. And am I the Admiral? I'll end it like I am.

(IC) That was a glorious victory Mi'lord. Now that the Turks have been forced out of Europe we can recruit more troops to take back our ancestral homeland in Anatolia! But with the Mongol hordes only held at bay by a treaty right now we need to keep a significant force in Europe to protect our serfs loyal subjects. It would also be advisable that we don't antagonize the Italian heretics too much. They may not like us much, and we don't like them, but we don't have the men to fight them and the Turks at the same time.

I would suggest that we continue to build up the Navy and Army, and keep an eye on the Mongols. Once our forces are truly strong enough, we should finally destroy the Ottoman hordes occupying our homeland. With them out of the way, our glorious Empire can regain its strength to finally take the battle to the Heretics and take back Italy. But I can't stress enough that we should not antagonize the Papists until the Ottoman's are gone. We can not fight a battle on two (possibly three if the Mongols attack us) fronts.

And since I am slow on sending my report in, I will address Advisor Vortex's points: I agree that we need to asses the strengths of our northern neighbors. Like I said earlier in the report, the Mongols are just as much, if not a greater, threat than the Ottomans. And we do need to consolidate our holdings. That is the end of my report:

Your loyal servant, Admiral Skywalker

(OOC: As you can tell...I'm somewhat biased towards the navy )

[The Vortex Empire]

Admiral, with all due respect, I strongly question the wisdom of attacking Italy at any point, even once our eastern holdings are back under our control. Yes, our civilization may have its roots there, but Rome is nowhere near as important as Constantinople to us. And besides, the Pope, in his cowardice, will likely call upon the entirety of Catholic Europe to protect his own power. Not even Roman strength can withstand that.