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Mit Shroomie geshrieben
The silence of the Central Committee was as deafening as a tomb. Or however that metaphor went. The Premier had spoken the words, the secret and magical words imbued with the Power of Commienism itself. Dangerous words. Stas Bush. The last time the Stas Bush Proclamation was used was in the revolution, and its utterance was instrumental in the demise of the Zarist warlock Crustputin. It was said that Leon Troutsky too had fallen to these words. Such were their power that even Lennon’s favored disciples, his very apostles, could not stave off the inevitable, that even they could not utter his name that must not be named.

To invoke it, one brought a candle to a darkened room, stood before a mirror, and say this terrible chant. What happened next was never clear, for the Judgement of Stas took many forms.

Troutsky was found with an axe lodged in his head; Ztalin, it has been said, perished suddenly, unable to call for help. Now, who knew what would come next? Only the Stas Bush knew.

The gathering of the Central Committee was silent. As per ceremony, the Holder Of The Secret rose and asked the challenger and the challenged, “Art thou sureth? For this is idiocy and you will most likely perish!”

“Da,” Shroomanski nodded solemnly. “I am sureski.”

The Holder looked at Bearzhnev, who grinned and nodded, only should the first man live through the trial by ordeal should the second man be asked to enter the room and perform the rite as well. The one who invoked the Stas Bush Proclamation would be the first to perform the ritual, as it was he who dared to speak Lennon’s true name. Shroomanski was walking to certain death. The man was insane, after all.

Shroomanski raised his chin defiantly. He grabbed a candle and lit it with the tip of someone’s vodka cigarette. He was led to a tiny room, little more than a cell surrounded by divider screens. In it was a mirror.

The man who led him were like executioners escorting a condemned man to the death chamber. But there was an aura of fear amongst them too, for they feared to go inside the dark room with the mirror, as though it was cursed.

They closed the door behind Shroomanski, and rushed to their observation slits, to make sure he did not attempt trickery. They shivered and shuddered and quivered with fear, not knowing what they’d see, or if The Stas Bush would not take offence at their peekings. Vodka cigarettes did little to calm their shaking nerves and tense hands.

Shroomanski saw his dark reflection from the mirror, lit by the candlelight. The mirror image moved as he moved behind the mirror’s ornate frames.

Satisfied, Shroomanski closed his eyes and uttered the magic words, the cursed words.



“STAS BUSH!”

“STAS BUSH!!”

“STAS BUSH!!!”

And then it was silent again.

The executioners slowly edged towards the cell’s door. One of them reached out with his hand to hold the knob, but before he could twist it, the door suddenly swung open. They screamed like women and ran, fearing for their lives. They huddled at a corner, and only when they realized that they were still alive did they look back and see what had emerged from the room.

“Nyet... it can’t be,” Bearzhnev uttered in sheer disbelief. It couldn’t be. It simply couldn’t.

But it was.



“Da!” Stanislav Shroomanski said, squinting his eyes as he reentered the lighted Central Committee auditorium.

“But how? Why? What trickery is this?!” Bearzhnev sputtered. But now, all eyes were on him. All of the Party members had read the eldritch tomes left behind by Comrade Lennon, the forbidden books that contained so much arcane knowledge. They knew what was next.

“Your turn... comrade.” Shroomanski clapped Bearzhnev on the shoulder.

“Nyet... how can you be still alive?” he was shaking now.

“Find out yourself, Bragonoid,” with that, Shroomanski gave him the candle and left. Bearzhnev was lead into the chamber. The door was shut.

After several minutes, Bearzhnev finally managed the courage to say the words. From outside, all could hear him scream, his voice full of fear.

“Stas Bush!”

“Stas Bush!”

“...Stas Bus- EEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

The scream echoed throughout the Central Committee auditorium. After the bloodcurdling cry stopped, the quivering men opened the mirror room and found...

Nothing.

There was nothing left of Bragonoid Bearzhnev. Except for his medals, scattered all over the floor. But nothing else at all.

What this meant, the horrible demise of Shroomanski’s arch-rival, was not lost to all those gathered. They all looked, slowly, towards Shroomanski, the only man to have survived this trial by ordeal, by the Stas Bush proclamation.



He raised his arm in victory.

“Da,” he said in finality.

PeZook wrote:Mit Shroomie geshrieben
<snip>

I've been laughing all morning at this latest series of events in Zenobia. I'm actually wiping small tears out of my eyes.

Anyway, I hear people need more pilots. I'm not much for roleplaying, I'm afraid, as my lapsed activity in more than a few games shows, but if you need bodies with names on them, might as well add mine. I'm liking the Zenobian side more, but if Murca needs another face, eh, well, so be it.

Murca can always use a few good men. Go for it.

Somewhere in Zenobia

The horrible yet inexplicable demise of Bragonoid Bearzhnev raised more questions than were answered. What happened to him? How could he have disappeared without a trace? What makes Shroominski so special? Perhaps he's in cahoots with the test doers? Who knew?

The truth of the Stas Bush Proclamation is unknown. It is a great mystery, many amongst those of commienism. The Legend of Lennon is known to few, but the reality behind it is far more elusive. It is kept secret, for in the wrong hands this forbidden knowledge would endanger all proletariats of the world. Such was the power of commienism made manifest when Lennon's successor Ztalin dueled the sorcerer Shitler, culminating in the battle of Bearlin when the Man of Steel destroyed the Thanasian Fuhrer - scattering his organs to the nine vectors, and turning Shitler's Organs into artifacts scoured for by Ratzi sympathizers.

But even Ztalin himself could not postpone his fate. The Ghost of Shitler haunted him, and the many dead Zars whispered to his ears at night, driving him mad and causing him to commit his many purges and atrocities. Only in the end did he truly understand, when Lennon came in Ztalin's last days to take him away.

Just as Lennon took away Bearzhnev now. Leaving behind his supporters, to be castigated by the survivor Shroomanski. Leaving behind bystanders, confused, unaware of what had just transpired.

Here is what some say happened after. The fate of Bearzhnev.

He was taken by the Stas Bush, who came from the mirror. And it is now said across the Zenobian Onion that Bearzhnev still lives on, but no longer in this world. In another world, the world behind the mirror he gazed into in his final moments.

They whisper, lowly, carefully, that if you gaze into a mirror and look into a corner, you will see Bearzhnev still lurking. Hiding in plain sight, under the shadows, at the corner of your eye, disappearing when you blink.

He is watching, for he misses life outside the mirror. But there is something else too.

They say that sometimes, once in a red moon, he will show himself in the mirror. His face a lifeless mask. His eyebrows thick. His eyes soulless.

Why he does this, no one knows. Some say he is still looking for his lost medals, which were left in our world when the Stas Bush took him.

Others say he does this to warn people, so that they would never make the same mistakes as him.

He is there.

Spoiler Sinister Bearzhnev.[/i]

So, Shroomanski has triumphed, Bearzhnev has died horribly, and Politburo opposition to Shroomanski's programs and goals is at best in disarray and possibly entirely fragmented and demolished, da?

Da!

What are shroomanski's goals and plans?

Well, I'm pretty sure corn and the manned space program are involved, at any rate.

So what's next? A traditional Soviet style purge?

OOC: I was almost expecting Stas to actually show up and pronounce his judgment on Shroomanski and Bearzhnev. That would have been awesome.

NUTS! Photobucket censored the photo.

Well, here it is anyway.

Spoiler

Sinister Bearzhnev.

Plan Pavylyvych, Fall 1962

We are all greatly dismayed by the disastrous loss of Captain Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov after his record-setting orbital flight in April. In light of the deep-seated issues with the Vostok capsule's resistance to re-entry heat which subsequent investigation has found, I am hereby cancelling the Vostok program. All cosmonauts are to be placed in training for the upgraded Voskhod program, with which we will set a new wave of space records in due time in the coming years.

Baikonurek Cosmodrome technical staff are to be commended on their efforts to ensure that Voskhod is not plagued by the faults which hounded Vostok. Support staff should know that their efforts at prototyping, fabrication, construction, and maintenance of facilities remain invaluable, and that our future triumphs will rest firmly on the foundation laid by their labors.

It is perhaps understandable that the shock of recent events would lead to disruptions in the normal flow of Cosmodrome business. That notwithstanding, I must reprimand the Cosmodrome Accounts Department for one of two reasons:
1) Either the initial figure I received from the Accounts Department for the FY 1962 budget was incorrect, or
2) The order to purchase a pair of A-Series rockets and a pair of Sputnik satellites has been neglected.

This has led to a discrepancy between the planned and actual budgets for this year. However, the discrepancy is within the factor of safety, and does not cause difficulties for the R&D program.

I must also reprimand the Extravehicular Excursion Lab for failing to provide a coherent report of their activities at the beginning of the season, as expected. Due to this and a number of other issues, I am replacing the former Chief of Extravehicular Excursion Research with Dr. Anton Vanko, a newly arrived expert from Moosecow.

---

Budget

Starting budget: 46 MB, versus 38 MB planned.

Purchase two A-Series rockets and two Sputnik satellites, for the scheduled Fall 1962 launches.
Hardware cost: 8 MB (this was supposed to be done last season)
Remaining budget: 38 MB (as planned)


10 MB for 5 teams on Voskhod Capsule research.
4 MB for 2 teams on Booster Stage research.
5 MB for 5 teams on EVA Suit research.

R&D expenses: 19 MB
Remaining budget: 19 MB

Balance of budget is saved for (we hope) Proton rocket development starting in Spring 1963.


Cosmonaut Management

All cosmonauts are removed from the Vostok program immediately. The Vostok program is over.

If possible, the vanguard cosmonauts from the Vostok program should be transferred into the Voskhod program, if we can form compatible two-man teams containing one high-rated capsule specialist and one mission specialist. If not, the cosmonauts will remain in the cosmonaut pool pending the release of Group II cosmonauts from training.


Launch orders

Perform the two A-Series/Sputnik launches, as scheduled, no rushing or other special activities. Both launches to proceed as scheduled barring accidents impacting systems reliability.

Should I assume von Evilstein has been sent to a gulag?

His fate will be described tomorrow, or the day after, depending on how busy I will be.

barnest2 wrote:What are shroomanski's goals and plans?

Keep abusing podia with his right shoe? Stick one to the Murcans like he did Bearznhev?

OOC: Zenobia was hot.

OOOOOOOH-C: I actually said that I'll stop opression of Testing. This is why. ))

We are humbled and grateful for your benediction, Comrade.

Oh holy shit Shroomanski did summon The Stas after all!

If ever the female cosmonaut event comes up, my cosmonaut's name will be Svetmaya, as suggested by Simon.

Are we in need of another astronaut, though? There's a Robert "Bob" Johnson* in the wings, waiting to go pick up chicks and be confused by all the homoeroticism.

If female astronauts come up, I have no idea what I'd do.



*MST3K version of Space Mutiny. If you don't know what I'm talking about, look for a clip with the full list of names. It'll make sense.