Bearlin, East Thanasia
Agent Squirrel walked the streets of Bearlin, wearing trenchcoat and fedora, as he was undercover and didn't wish to be recognized. From the breaking of the lovely Agent Fetale, and the files on Comrade Moose and his history with the Thanasian people, he now had the location of Fearless Leader and the man's entire enterprise. With this, he could take down the sabotage that Boris Badenov had done to the Murcan Space Program.
There was military buiild up on both sides of the Iron shower drapery. With both the Murcans and the Zenobians building up to war, all it would take is one small spark to start Salvation War III. Agent Squirrel had to use all his guile and training to sneak by both sets of guards. They had let Natasha go, in hopes that she would lead him to her base. It had worked. She had charmed the guards to let her through, which was something that was impossible for Fax, no matter how cute a squirrel was.
Luckily, they were easily fooled by his disguise training.
It had taken him years, but with his squirrel smell training, he had followed her to this factory. Though it looked abandoned, he could feel the heat radiating from the building. They were up to something.
He entered, and saw, to his amazement, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale there, in the room. That's when he saw it, it was Comrade Moose, the antlers were pointed at him. They knew he was coming. The door behind him closed and locked, and he saw something even more incredulous, it was Agent Squirrel. The previous Agent Squirrel, and the man was fully living. It was impossible.
That's when he felt himself get faint, and everything go to black.
----
When he emerged, he was staring at them and they were staring at him back. His uniform was off, and he was Fax Modem on the outside, tied to a chair, his Agent Squirrel costume to the side, he was in nothing but his heart underwear and white tank top. He stared at them, wondering why he was still alive.
Then Comrade Moose snapped his fingers, and several attractive women took him to a chair and helped undress him out of the Moose uniform. Comrade Moose was none other, than Von Evilstein, the former director the Zenobian Space Program.
There were scars all over his body. It was a miracle the man was still alive, he snapped again, and the women redressed him in a Second Salvation War Thanasian uniform. Agent Moose, who was Comrade Moose, who was Comrade Evilstein, was Fearless Leader. What was going on?
Fax Modem said as much. "What is going on?"
"Ahh, you are awake." The Thanasian accent was coming out clearly now, no longer muffled by the Moose helmet. "We are what the Politburo believes to be the best Zenobian agents." he said, pointing to Natasha and Boris, "the dead Murcan spies" he said pointing to Agent Squirrel and the Moose costume that was being hung up on a mannequin by the women, "and the washed up insane Thanasian scientist."The man said as he pointed to himself.
"That is all subterfuge. The truth is much more brilliant and too hard for an under-mensch like you to understand. But I will try to help your little mind comprehend my plan. We Thanasians thought the best way to get rid of the Zenobians and the Murcans was to conquer them, but that proved to not be possible. We then agreed to expatriate ourselves to our enemies as the war ended, in hopes that we would reach positions of power when they needed us, and they did. We were put in top positions of power, and with the exception of that Joo lover, Von Braun, we all have stuck to the plan."
The man then went to his desk and grabbed a document from it, holding it up in the air.
"THE GLORIOUS PLAN!" The others in the room saluted at it.
"We needed to rid ourselves of the Joos, but how? We needed access to the Murcan and Zenobian governments. We did by our own merit, my brilliance bringing the Zenobians into space, but then the Joos infiltrated the Politburo and cast me out of it right when they were on the brink of success." Froth was coming from his mouth, he was starting to wave his arms while ranting, Boris and Natasha looked inspired.
"They put things in me, contaminated me. Made one of them. Only through this will I be allowed to purge myself of the Joo contamination."
"In less than an hour, the Zenobian reinforcements will arrive, when that happens, they will suddenly find themselves within rifle distance of the Murcans. And what should happen? Both sides will have bombs blown up by opposite sides foreign spies. IT SHALL IGNITE SALVATION WAR III, AND BEARLIN SHALL WITNESS THE DEATH OF ITS ENEMIES!" The man cackled with laughter at his plan.
Fax looked around the room, all three of the spies were totally happy with their deaths in this plan.
How was this possible? Unless...
The Zenobian scientist walked towards him, revealing a pocket watch, he swung it back and forth, in front of Fax's eyes. That's how he got them to do what was needed. And if he didn't do something, he was next. Remembering his training, Fax was Agent Squirrel, even if he was out of uniform. He did the only thing he could.
One snap of his fingers, and the three spies were totally different people. They lunged at each other, fighting. Moose charged at Boris, his antlers aiming for the man's sizable figure. Natasha and Squirrel pulled at each other's hair, engaged in Squirrel Level 5 and Femme Fatale Level 8, each one bouncing around the room. That's when they hit Fearless Leader, and he fell to the floor, his pocket watch breaking with a noticeable crack. The man screamed. "I'm not beaten yet!"
That's when all four of them noticed Evilstein. Beware the anger of a used Zenobian woman, for she will your life hell. She started kicking the Thanasian, screaming something in Zenobian about Burgers and Fries, and then started ranting about giving a Thanasian bootlicker massages . That's when Squirrel freed Fax. Fax nodded to his elder, and the men in the room watched the kicking. Nothing but soft whimpers coming from his head.
Fax yelled to Squirrel. "Cover your ears." Fax snapped his fingers again.
The kicking stopped. Natasha and Boris were still and quiet again, their faces happy. Squirrel grabbed a rope from a corner in the room, and tied the Thanasian with the two Zenobian spies.
It was over, and Salvation War III wouldn't happen, at least, not by Evilstein's doing. Fax Modem was happy, until he noticed something was wrong, there was still one thing left unexplained.
"What about your body?" He asked the spy.
"Natasha used a real dead squirrel to fake my death." The man smiled. Fax redressed in his Squirrel uniform, his mission was complete. Boris was captured, and he could go onto his next mission. He activated the radio in his uniform, signaling the mysterious man in Grey. It was time for him to return to Murca. Fax Modem was dead. Agent Squirrel was still alive and they didn't need a second. Maybe it was time for him to become someone else. Someone that wasn't an animal, but also someone that was, NotModem.