Let's play: Buzz Aldrin's Race Into Space

[Eternal_Freedom]

I hadn't realised we had an explorer misson scheduled then. Oh well, it's a minor boo-boo.

And Teddy got shot? Aww shit! Then.....we'll jsut have to fly a Murcan into orbit in his honour! Continue exactly as planned.

[ChaserGrey]

OOC: I'd say soft-pedal it. Starting up in BARIS is the most frustrating part- after you get a couple orbital missions up budgets usually take off.

Eternal_Freedom, it looks like Mercury and Atlas are both about as ready as they're going to get. Can we get an orbital mission scheduled? Might even want to make it an orbital EVA, since the suits are ready too. Let's stick it to the Commie dogs!

[ChaserGrey]

Ghetto edit: Nemmind, I see we've got a mission scheduled already. Lost track, there's a *lot* of thread to keep track of.

[FaxModem1]

OOC: We could try and focus all research on the Titan.

Fax sat in his new cell. It included things like a toilet, a cot, and trips to a shower. All of which seemed like luxuries to him right now. He wondered what was next for him.

[Simon_Jester]

[Eye twitches]

So, you won't tell me who's dead. Grr.

Only please, let it not be Yebanov; if Yebanov is going to die during the manned space program, he really should die in space, as befits his legend. Well, it doesn't critically affect my planning, I guess; no mang is irreplaceable.

EDIT: Also, can someone explain to me how booster reliability affects rocket reliability? Does the game roll against both the boosters and the rocket before declaring launch to be a success? If so, then oy.

Spoiler

Who are the Sovereign Citizens?

Go look up the SDNW4: Murca thread in User Fiction.

[Simon_Jester]

Plan Pavylyvych, Fall 1963

Congratulations, comrades, and double congratulations to all men involved with engineering, fabrication, and other tasks on the Voskhod capsule! Thanks to your Strakhanovite-like labors, the capsule rapidly approaches its final, man-rated status. There will be unmanned tests to perform before we send Voskhod into orbit with cosmonauts inside, but your efforts have placed a 1964 maiden flight of the manned Voskhod program within the realm of the possible.

We also acknowledge the efforts of the Heavy Lift development team, recognizing that they have a long road ahead of them; As Chief Designer, I promise that I will help them in any way that I can.

No survey of our progress and plans would be complete without Dr. Vanko's Extravehicular Excursion Lab, who have performed invaluable services to the Motherland, both in the development of our basic EVA suit model and in other regards. It is noted that their progress has been somewhat slow in recent months, but they are not a bottleneck for the program.

---

Starting budget: 25 MB

Research and Development
10 MB for 5 teams on Voskhod Capsule research.
2 MB for 1 team on Booster Stage research.
5 MB for 5 teams on EVA Suit research.
8 MB for 2 teams on Proton Rocket research.

R&D budget: 25 MB
Remaining budget: 0 MB

Launch Scheduling
Schedule two unmanned suborbital Voskhod launches for Spring 1964.

I'll pay for the hardware once I've got my spring budget in hand.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Murcan budgeting plans for Fall 1963 consist of continuing with Titan research, with two teams. (Cost: 8MB)

This should leave me with 11 MB. That is all for this season PeZook, I'm conserving funds to begin Ranger projects in '64.

[ChaserGrey]

Simon, as far as I can tell the game averages the booster and rocket reliability and makes one roll. If the boosters have been decently researched the effect is to make the rocket slightly less reliable.

[PeZook]

IIRC, a boosted rocket is the average reliability of the booster stage/strapons (what an awesome name for homoerotic testosterone overdosed murcans ) and the rocket.

Plans are here ; Good. An update...PROBABLY won't happen today, though, but it's cool to be doing one turn a day again

[Simon_Jester]

Interesting. So under some conditions a boosted rocket may actually be more reliable than the unboosted rocket- if I've done enough boosted A-Series launches, which I will in the fullness of time.

[ChaserGrey]

Spoiler

I think I have a solution to Fax and Drago's little problem, that will lead to additional amusement and lol while furthering the "gentleman's agreement" plot. All it requires is that Mr. Grey is more than he seems- and really, how much more obvious of a codename can you get?

The two burly FBI agents threw open the interrogation room and pushed FaxModem into one of the chairs. As they stepped back, Fax's face lit up- sitting next to him was Drago! Both men had their hands cuffed together in front of them, but they still managed to lean forward and share an awkward but tender kiss. The agents glared, but made no comment before turning and walking out of the room, the door clicking as it locked behind them.

An unguessable amount of time later, the door opened again and a tall, slender, forgettable-looking man in glasses half-walked into the room. Half-walked, because for a long moment he just stood there, leaning against the door frame and looking the two up and down, balancing a pair of thick file folders in his arms. Finally he shook his head and spoke.

"Well, well, well. FaxModem and...Drago, is it? You know, boys, it's a scary, divided world out there. Seems like the two superpowers can't agree on what direction the sun comes up in the morning. But there is one thing they can agree on." The man walked quickly across the room and took a folder in each hand, slamming them down on the table with a gunshot crack. One of them bore the seal of the FBI, the other the dreaded sigil of the NKVDVDROM. "They both want your asses. And not in a fun way."

The man seated himself and opened the American folder, chuckling. "I mean, really. Flight to avoid justice. Obstruction of a Federal officer. Aiding and abetting a fugitive, grand theft, air piracy- I want to thank you for that one, by the way, it's such a cool crime and we so rarely see it on an actual indictment. Attempting to bribe a Federal officer to let you back into the country. We'll leave out the part where you almost started Salvation War Part III on your little escape from Zenobia. I suppose not even we can blame you for that, since we're the ones who gave Captain Queeg there the keys to a nuclear submarine. Still it does cause complications, since it means the Premier over there is jonesing for ol' Drago like an astronaut after body lube.

"So let me spell it out for you boys. What it all adds up to is that you-" he pointed at Fax, "-are going to a Federal prison so deep and dark not even your endless supply of idiot brothers can rescue you and you-" he pointed at Drago, "-are going back into the warm, loving, sweaty, hairy arms of the NKVDVDROM. I'm going to go way out on a limb here and assume you don't want that to happen."

He closed the American folder and set both of them aside. "Fortunately, gentlemen, only Agent Fisher and his crew know you're here in the country, and they will remember whatever Director Vacuum tells them to. There's still plenty of time for poor Drago to have a nice, convenient, easily documented accident down in Mehico, and for poor grieving Fax to come home with a Presidential pardon and a nice new boyfriend who looks nothing like Drago. The Commies will suspect, sure, but hell- they suspect everything we do. You both ride off into the sunset happy."

The man smiled. It was not a reassuring sight.

"Gentlemen, my name is Mister Grey. I can make that all happen for you, and all I need is one small favor."

[doom3607]

I approve of this. More reasonable than Fax's way, if Mr. Gray is a representative of Director Vacuum. Of course, it's PeZook's call since this is his LP.

[ChaserGrey]

Well...if not Director Vacuum, then definitely someone in the Murcan Government. But yeah, we'll see what PeZook says.

[PeZook]

I was actually thinking about something like this: Murca hides Drago away, pretends he got killed somewhere and tries to milk him for any knowledge he has left. Fax is quietly retired and kept away from the space program with some nice quiet non-astronauty job, as pushing for a conviction of a former astronaut would cause a media circus that nobody needs, especially since it would inevitably come out that he's gay and mang, MURCANS ARE NOT GAY STOP SAYING THAT!!!

Since the Cubic Missile Crisis is over (thus, nukes are no longer on a hair trigger), Teddy is dead, it's an all-new administration that will want to put the past mistakes in the past...

Yeah, kinda bittersweet, but also more reasonable than "Lol Vacuum doesn't want to piss off Fax!"

You should've run this by me, since it involves the FBI and all, but I will allow this.

[ChaserGrey]

Sorry, still a bit new to board RP and protocol.

My thought for plot was this: Grey's "little favor" is for Drago to go back into Zenobia suitably disguised, since he's familiar with the Baikonour complex, and raid the Chief Designer's garbage pile. After rooting around for a while, he successfully finds some plans and brings them back to Murca, revealing that the evil Zenobians are working on some sort of Commie mini-shuttle-majigger. Obviously, we cannot allow a mini-shuttle gap, and so we are on our way...

Does that work?

[PeZook]

DFT pronounced dead

Dave Fitzgerald Teddy, the President of the United States of Murca, has been pronounced dead in the Dollahs Saint Murcan Hospital Emergency Room.

Shot twice by an unknown gunman, the President arrived at the hospital in critical condition. The doctors say there was no chance to save him.

The police have surrounded a book repository building near the site of the shooting, but have denied comment thus far.

***

President dead ; Joanson sworn in

With the nation in chaos, its president dead to an assassin's shot, the Vice President, London B. Joanson, has been sworn in mid-flight as the new Murcan President.

President Joanson's first decision after taking the post was to close all borders and increase the military alert level to DEFCON 3 in anticipation of the assassination being a prelude to a possible commienist attack, possibly involving gigantic invasion fleets appearing out of nowhere and paratroopers dropping in to take over while you are sitting in the classroom with your friends, talking about the prom.

***

A great leader dead: Where goes the nation?

With the assassination of the late President Teddy, the great nation of Murca asks itself a serious question about carrying out the late President's vision.

In his speech at Corn University, the President called for this greatest, freedomiest nation in the world to commit itself to many goals, the most famous of them the exploration of the Moon and deep space. But as he lies dead and the nation mourns his passing, will we collectively decide to continue this legacy? Or will Teddy's dreams die with him?

[PeZook]

Sorry, still a bit new to board RP and protocol.

My thought for plot was this: Grey's "little favor" is for Drago to go back into Zenobia suitably disguised, since he's familiar with the Baikonour complex, and raid the Chief Designer's garbage pile. After rooting around for a while, he successfully finds some plans and brings them back to Murca, revealing that the evil Zenobians are working on some sort of Commie mini-shuttle-majigger. Obviously, we cannot allow a mini-shuttle gap, and so we are on our way...

Does that work?

Generally speaking...no, it really doesn't.

It's a very serious operation that Drago is completely not trained to accomplish. Not only that, but Baikonurek is just one of the most secure places in Zenobia, crawling with NKVDVDROM agents, many of whom knew Drago personally...it's also in the middle of Boratistani steppes, away from any Murcan embassy that could provide support...no, the MIB analyst who's sleeping with the Director will call this plan madness.

And you can scream that this is Murca all you want, but Drago would still most likely end up dead.

Unless you make it seriously amusing. If it's sufficiently rad, it could work, as the Shroomanist Prophet says, but it would have to really damn awesome, so that the universe itself would bend the rules to make it happen.

High standards, I know. For something less glourious, Drago could just mundanely be involved in planning of a similar operation carried out by actual intelligence people

[ChaserGrey]

Okay. Assuming Fax goes along, I'm going to shoot for high comedy. The purpose of all this is entertainment, after all.

There will be a bear suit involved. That is a promise.

[fnord]

PeZook, from what I've seen, boosters effectively count as an extra launch stage, with the boosted rocket's reliability being product of the native rocket's reliability and the boosters' reliability - at least, I've never had a boosted launch be more reliable than unboosted, ceteris paribus. Unboosted brand-new Saturn V blowing up notwithstanding...

One thing I'm not sure about is if lofting a shot with spare lift capacity - ie, not fully loading the rocket - helps your chances. (eg, lofting 1600 units of mass aboard a Nova)

[Scottish Ninja]

... In his speech at Corn University...

Does Murca similarly have a Ricell University?

That speech is a bit depressing now, comparing it to today when it seems nobody in high political office has such vision, nor the eloquence to defend it, nor the motivation to see it through.

"We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too."

I can't imagine this administration or the next, whatever it may be, making such a commitment. Not to space, not for anything.

I may be wrong. I hope I am.

[Simon_Jester]

I really think the best thing to do would be to just quietly dispose of Fax Modem and Drago, in whatever way seems best. Ride off into the sunset, crushed by a meteor, whatever.

It seems like every time those characters appear, Fax just insists on wanking about how they can get away with anything, and PeZook has to smack him down, and it just keeps going back and forth. It's stupid, and lame. Fax should concentrate on actual astronauts, not on Omnipotent Gay Spaceship Designer/Informed Badass duos.
Spoiler

If you want to know what I think... We are presently in an Age of Contentment that is only just beginning to show cracks- the Cold War ended with "and they all lived happily ever after, the end," and it wasn't until just now that people in the US (at least) started to work out that it didn't work that way. 9/11 didn't do it, don't let anyone tell you different; all it did was provide a conveniently weak enemy to beat up so that "happily ever after" wouldn't be boring for militarists.

When the cracks start opening up, then we will see committed leadership. Unfortunately, yeah, gonna take a while.

[ChaserGrey]

That also works. The "little favor" could also be looking at spaceship designs in Antarctica, where nobody can find them and they'll be out of the way. Less WWIII that way.

I'm not overly attached to the plot idea I floated (and it was meant to be a float, even though I apparently went about it the wrong way), so if people would just rather not deal with it we can just say that happens.

[Simon_Jester]

I just want them to shut up and go away; they're annoying and their antics aren't very funny, because every time I see them they're trying to do something retarded and (usually) impossible, while FaxModem blithely declares that it will automatically work and that they can get away with anything and that Drago is so brilliant that he can work out spacecraft designs all by himself.

[Mayabird]

Previously on LP: BARIS:

Bob Johnson sits in the cockpit of the simulation Mercury capsule. Even though it is not the real thing, he has a look of pure joy and a bit of awe as his fingertips brush along the switches and toggles.

Someone outside knocks and asks, very suggestively, "What're you doin' in there?"

Note: scene may have been cut from previous episode.

And now, the conclusion:


Johnson did not know who the menacing man in front of him was. They hadn't been introduced yet, which made sense as Bob had been at the cape for just about 24 hours. Obviously, some sort of authority figure, one who was about to express his authority. The bare gray-walled room with only the one small chair under a light bulb reinforced that view.

It was possible that the man didn't exactly know who Bob was either, because he did not start with "Captain Johnson" or "Mr. Johnson" or even "Johnson." He simply started talking.

"Do you know why you're here?"

Such a familiar tone of voice. It could only mean one thing: they had discovered his box of prophylactics. But how?

"I do indeed, sir, and I assure you, it is for disease prevention purposes."

The man paused only briefly. "Do you think you're some sort of a funny man?" he asked.

"Sir! I was always told that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! It has saved the Murcan government millions in medical costs for its troops over the years! Sir!"

The two watched each other. The menacing man apparently decided that whatever it was that Bob was babbling about, it had nothing to do with the topic on hand (but probably needed to be investigated later). "I am referring to the break-in into the capsule simulation room last night."

Johnson was shocked. "There was a break-in, sir?" He was horrified by the thought that they might have let someone in. Didn't they lock up the place afterward?

"The break-in that you new trainees performed!"

"OH! Yes sir, that."

"We have witne..." the menacing man trailed off and glowered. Bob couldn't tell if it was because he had just nullified a long practiced speech of the line of evidence proving Johnson's presence there, but he suspected that was partly involved. "So you admit it!"

"Yes sir. I was so eager to see the simulators. Very eager. This is the greatest honor of my life, sir, coming here."

"How did you get in there? You don't have clearance yet!"

"...someone let me in."

"Who?"

Darn you, Rex. Darn you to heck. "I...don't know sir. A man."

"Do you know who this man was? His name?"

"I don't remember, sir."

"Would you be able to recognize his face if you were given a set of pictures?"

"No sir. I am terrible with faces."

Since this track wasn't working too well, the menacing man switched to another.

"There are very sophisticated and expensive computers in that room, very sensitive to disturbances like your juvenile behaviors last night! You caused a whole day's worth of delays there! Do you know anything about computers at all?"

What Bob Johnson knows about computers: They are called 'computers.'

He knew of the new field of computing, that it was there and they worked on machines that seemed half-magical and destined to take over the world in a bloody and terrible uprising, leaving the only surviving humans as a slave race useful only for amusement and suicide missions. Bob had excelled in school, graduated with highest honors in aeronautical engineering (which was no small feat), but somehow the entire concept of 'computers' mystified him. There had been those circuits he made in those intro Electrical Engineering courses (Shocks for Jocks!) but how one went from blinking bulbs and wires to thinking machines that would rule them all...

The menacing man apparently took the long pause as a sign that Johnson did not, in fact, know anything about computers. He took it upon himself, in a ten minute lecture, to explain every single way that Bob's actions had apparently screwed up the very powerful and complex computers that ran their simulations and capsules and how terrible it all was and what the consequences were.

What Bob Johnson now knows about computers: They are called 'computers' and they are strange.

The man screamed, "DID YOU LISTEN TO ANYTHING I JUST SAID?"

"I think so, sir. So you're saying, if I hit a switch, but then put it back, that did something?"

"YES, YOU CHILDISH IMBECILE!"

"I didn't reverse it by putting it back the way it was before?"

"NO!"

"Oh. Sorry, sir."

"Sorry will not bring back our lost day of training!"

"Then, as my punishment for wrongdoing, I recommend that I be forced into additional training over and beyond the normal training especially in the usage of computers." Johnson received a hateful stare back. "You see, sir, I will be too tired to get into antics after that and would have no time to do them even if I had the energy." He met the stare; Bob decided not to blink.

Thirty seconds passed. Finally, the menacing man said, "You are dismissed for now, Johnson, but know this: we will be watching you and your cohort very carefully. Future indiscretions will not be tolerated."

"I understand, sir," said Bob Johnson, and he made his escape at a fast walking pace.

[FaxModem1]

Spoiler

Sorry, was at class.

Rex Modem gave a nod to Bob Johnson and offered him a beer.

"How did it go?"


----

Fox Modem continued getting ready for whenever he would be added to the schedule. His brother was apprehended by the FBI, so that was that. Murca was right, his brother was wrong.

----

Fax looked at Mr. Grey, and nodded somberly, before turning his eyes to the ground. Drago did the same. Both wondered what was next.